Chapter Text
It was another of those mundane afternoons that Colet loved—just her thoughts and the rustling of leaves. Before, there was also Stacey during her favorite afternoons.
But that afternoon, it was just her. No Stacey. Which was unfortunate for Colet because for some reason… Colet missed the presence of the girl. She missed her laughs—the kind that would often hurt her ears but make her heart smile or the sudden nudges Stacey does to catch her attention.
And it took her back to their younger days, days where the two felt so carefree, close to being in love, although unsure of what there really was between them, their moments were enough.
I've never been kissed like that
So come on, kiss me again
Stacey had always loved pink, she loved colors, and she loved the noise that the world brought. Though, she also loved her peace and quiet.
She was the perfect balance of both party and peace. Stacey was all things beautiful and everybody would probably agree.
But there’s this one girl from one of her minor courses that was far from the noise and the loudness of their world. Perhaps, Stacey had long been exposed to the chaos that she missed feeling the mundane things in life.
Watching Colet from afar, however, always gave Stacey the subtle happiness of being away from the crowd.
It started with the small glances whenever they were inside their classroom. Then it was the way Stacey noticed how Colet spoke too well about Philippine politics in that one minor course. Until the glances turned into stares and stares into conversations.
“Vergara, may nakaupo?” Stacey has now grown some courage to casually speak to the girl.
Colet only managed to smile and shake her head a ‘no’ as a response.
Although Stacey understood (after a long time of watching Colet Vergara) that the latter had no circle of friends in that class and Stacey knew that she just had to take the chance before it was gone.
Stacey bit her lower lip, trying to stop herself from speaking too much, afraid, it’ll be obvious that she’s been meaning to talk to the older girl.
Meanwhile, Colet just remained perfectly calm. She continued to highlight some texts on the PDF file downloaded in her iPad.
It was quiet, the room was and so were they. It’s still an hour before their class officially starts but Stacey came extra early. Only because she knew Colet always does so.
“Okay ka lang?” Colet asked.
Stacey’s heart races.
“Hmm…” Stacey fought a smile. Colet talked to her. And it’s not as if they haven’t shared small conversations before… It's just that talking and hearing from Colet is something she’d love to experience again and again.
“Maaga ka ata ngayon?”
Colet noticed.
And Stacey stopped fighting her smile.
“Ah… maaga kasi kami na dismiss kanina. Medj tinatamad din kasi ako mag libot so, I went here na lang instead.” Stacey shared which Colet wholeheartedly acknowledged.
Then, it was silent again and only the sounds of the air conditioning unit were heard.
But Stacey paid no mind because she appreciated the mundane afternoon with Colet.
Unfortunately for Stacey, her stomach rumbled which disrupted the silence that Colet loved. Colet couldn’t simply ignore that, could she?
The older girl stopped highlighting and glanced at Stacey, “Nag lunch ka ba?”
Colet waited for an answer but Stacey was just quiet. While Colet waits for her, Stacey was thinking of what to say.
Shall she be honest and say no? That she hasn’t eaten lunch because she wanted to arrive in class earlier than usual just so that she could catch Colet—alone—in their classroom?
Colet, although patient and composed, sometimes just doesn’t have enough patience in her body.
“Gusto mo kumain after class?”
But Colet never loses composure.
Stacey never turned her head that fast. Colet, to avoid Stacey, returned to reading for her major subject.
“Kung wala ka lang namang pasok mamaya.” Colet added, still, ever so composed.
Stacey, however, still feels the loudness in her heart whenever her world is quiet with Colet.
“Sure! Kain tayo mamaya, saan?” Stacey fails to hide the excitement.
“Dalhin kita sa paborito kong kainan.” Perhaps, Colet too, failed to hide the excitement in her.
Because unbeknownst to Stacey, Colet also notices her… maybe even before Stacey had noticed Colet.
When Colet’s world felt too dull, it was Stacey's bright aura that added a little bit of color onto her days. That their shared quick glances in that one minor course gave a little glimmer and excitement in Colet’s uneventful life.
And it kept happening.
“Seat taken?” Stacey asks and Colet immediately says, “Nope. Upo ka na.”
They probably don’t notice the soft laughters they share in the middle of their class, or the smile that just flows when their skins touch, maybe even the way their classmates would end up yawning at their professors novena while the two of them still happen to smile amidst the boring lecture.
“Kumain ka na?” Stacey asked Colet.
Colet swore to herself that she’s never been the romantic kind and this question has been used so much that she finds it fairly cringey.
Stacey, however, made a simple question feel genuine, raw, and just… real. Colet had no choice but to admit, “Hindi pa. Ikaw ba?”
“Tara, let’s eat after PPGC.”
And only the heavens know that Stacey was never a heavy eater. It just so happens that before their class, her best friends had her eating a bunch.
“Hindi ka pa rin nag lunch?” Colet queries, a glint of worry in her voice.
“Hindi pa. Kaya sabay na tayo after class.” Stacey proudly says which made Colet smile.
Her stomach rumbled for the nth time that hour, but she knows that this time, it wasn’t because of hunger.
Stacey? Still wasn’t a heavy eater but for Colet, she’d sit and have lunch for the second time around that same exact day.
Until Colet became part of her routine.
Stacey would always try her best to come early to their shared class and Colet would unconsciously wait for Stacey to arrive.
Quick snacks after class. Small waves when they pass by each other, or Stacey excusing herself from her friends just so she could share a conversation with Colet.
To their moments being something more.
Colet talks a lot. Stacey noticed that when they continued to hang out even after school hours.
It began when they learnt that they only live three streets apart, having Colet’s apartment closer to their university than Stacey’s condo unit.
But Colet always found herself walking Stacey to her place even though they’d pass by her flat first.
Sometimes, she wouldn’t even come home because at Stacey’s beckoning for her to stay, Colet, in an instant would always do as she was told.
One night, they’d settle themselves by Stacey’s couch, sharing a bag of popcorn as they watched a movie.
Colet always insisted that searching for a movie to watch was more time consuming than the movie itself. So, Stacey made it a habit to purposely make a list of movies beforehand.
List of movies she thinks that Colet would love (movies Stacey did not like at first but learned to love for Colet, because of Colet).
That time, it was a romantic movie and Colet (again) was never the romantic kind. However, Stacey was. So, Colet would playfully cringe whenever Stacey would giggle or squeal whenever a scene touches her heart.
As the movie went on, Stacey watched in focus. Colet on the other hand, felt awkward watching two people kiss passionately while she’s sitting comfortably beside Stacey.
A girl she just happened to know through a minor course she's taking. Not that she’s complaining though. She was more thankful actually, that she had met Stacey… Regardless of how and when she did.
Stacey’s focus shifted from watching two people kiss on the television to Colet who’s been awfully quiet since earlier (although it’s her default).
Stacey sighed. She’s been thinking of something since earlier that day.
That morning, she saw lovers at school hug as they greeted each other good morning. As a sucker for romance, Stacey found it somewhat adorable.
At lunch, when Stacey ate out with her friends, she saw two elderly couples enjoying each other’s company over a cup of cold coffee and a slice of strawberry cheesecake like they’re in their teenage years being utterly in love.
Now, she’s watching two people kiss each other so passionately that she nearly forgot that it’s just a movie and those people are great, paid actors.
To make matters worse, she’s watching it with Colet and so she can’t help but wonder.
“Colet?” Stacey called out, returning her gaze back to the movie that she initially paused before calling out to Colet.
“Staks? Bakit mo pinause?”
“Have you ever been kissed that way, Vergara?” Stacey wondered.
Seeing many people in love, it irks her how Colet would always come to mind. Because, why would Colet be the subject behind every yearning thought that Stacey has? Tonight, she just snaps.
Stacey’s mind wandered and wondered if Colet had ever kissed or had she ever been kissed that way.
In love, in deep, in peace.
A kiss that isn’t rough but rather gentle and slow. A kiss that gave themselves enough air that they did not really feel the need to physically part.
A kiss that makes you never want to part.
Colet laughed at Stacey’s question which made Stacey frown. “Oh… seryosong tanong ba yan, Staks?”
Stacey rolled her eyes at Colet.
Because Stacey realized she has never been kissed that way before.
She would often be kissed with so much fervor, less of love. Not that she found that to be a bad thing… Stacey just wondered what it was like to be kissed with so much tenderness and care.
Worse case, she wondered what it was like to be kissed by Colet.
It was the frustration, really. Stacey did not know what to think nor feel having Colet that near.
She hated how every picture of love and peace included Colet’s image in it. As though, she was the muse of every imagination that Stacey is able to create.
Stacey felt like crying when Colet laughed but Colet never took anything about Stacey ever so lightly. All that was about Stacey, was to be taken seriously by Colet.
Colet stared a little longer into Stacey’s eyes before she realized, “Seryoso ka, Stacey.”
Colet pulled Stacey in into a side hug, brushing her fingers against Stacey’s exposed arm skin.
“Kasi I have never been kissed that way eh…” Stacey admitted and if she would allow herself to say more, she’d probably say it was Colet whom she wished to feel that feeling from.
“Bakit mo ako tinatanong, Staku?”
Stacey knew Colet and she understood how naturally caring that girl is despite her strong facade. Colet is an angel and Stacey always wanted to be saved by her.
“Kasi ikaw ang kasama ko ngayon…?” Stacey shrugged Colet’s hands off her arm. Because if Colet’s touch lingers a little bit longer, there’s no assurance that Stacey could prevent herself from breaking.
“Ano ba tanong mo? Itanong mo ulit, sasagutin ko nang maayos.” Colet cooed to the sulking girl.
“Ganon kasi, kako! That!” Stacey harshly pointed to the television, where the movie was paused exactly where the main characters kissed each other softly.
“Siguro…? Nag ka girlfriend naman na ako noon, Staks.” Colet chuckled and Stacey knew she shouldn’t feel hurt about that answer.
Of course, Colet is indeed a wonderful girl and it would be a waste not to love and be loved by her.
“Is it weird if may tao akong naiisip whenever I see people in love? Na parang pag usapang love, siya agad naiisip ko?” Stacey said, and it somehow pained Colet to see her friend in this state—confused and anxious.
Colet pulled Stacey back in. “Alam mo, para mong tinanong kung weird bang magkagusto,” the older girl said.
“So, sino ba yun?” Colet casually asked.
And Stacey casually answers Colet.
“Ikaw.”
There was no hesitation in Stacey’s voice. Yes, there was a glint of fear. But she did not hesitate even one bit. As though she was a hundred percent sure of it—of Colet.
“And… iniisip mo ano pakiramdam kapag tayo… ayan?” Colet’s voice was understanding. She may not fully grasp what Stacey was feeling but Colet knew she also feels that way for Stacey.
“Hmm…” Stacey hummed in response.
“Usually, hindi ko ‘to gagawin sa hindi ko girlfriend…” Colet started as she guided Stacey’s body to face her.
“But you’re Staku. Si Stacey ka. So, I’ll make an exemption.” Colet brushed the strands of hair that blocked Stacey’s face, hooking them behind Stacey’s ear.
“How do you want yourself to be kissed, Stacey?” Colet held Stacey’s hand as she stared right into Stacey’s brown orbs.
Stacey looked down.
“Hindi ko alam,” Stacey admits before Colet titled Stacey’s head so that their eyes could meet.
“Hmm…” Colet smiled, “But this is how I’d like to kiss you.”
Colet’s lips on Stacey’s lips.
Soft and tender. Calm and composed.
Then and there, Stacey knew that Colet was all the mundane beauty that her life lacks. Likewise, Colet’s lips were the peace she’d been waiting to touch her.
Stacey places her arm arounds Colet’s neck pulling her in. As their lips part, “Nasagot ba mga tanong mo?”
“Kiss me again, please?” Colet does as she was told.
Now we're slow dancing in your kitchen
How time's passed by
Those nights were followed by Stacey and Colet slow dancing in the latter’s kitchen.
Colet’s arms are carefully wrapped around Stacey’s waist. Their foreheads resting against each other. Sometimes, it was their cheeks. On some other nights, it was their lips.
They’d slow dance to any song that played on the radio. Oftentimes, Colet would choose from her vinyl collection a song she’d want to dance Stacey to. On some occasions, Stacey would connect her phone to Colet’s bluetooth speaker and ask for Colet to dance with her.
Funny, the two never really fancied dancing, at least individually. Together, however, dancing felt good. Slow dancing, at that.
It was a different kind of calm. One that is only to be broken by the rapid beating of their chest.
Or sometimes, broken by Stacey’s voice when they remember that they’ve completely forgotten about what they're cooking.
“Puro ka kasi harot! Umapaw na yung sabaw, Nicolette! Gosh ka!” Stacey ran towards the stove to turn off the fire.
“Sorry… Sorry.” Colet giggled as she hugged Stacey from behind.
“Tapos na ba ‘yang sinigang mo?”
Colet peaked over Stacey’s shoulders. “Hmm…”
Stacey grabbed the ladle and scooped some soup for Colet to taste, “Thoughts?”
“Sobrang sarap. Gusto kita ulit isayaw.”
Stacey puts down the ladle before facing Colet, “Parehong kaliwa ang paa natin, sira.”
“Kahit na. Gusto pa rin kitang isayaw.” Colet sheepishly grinned before pulling Stacey again. She led them to her living room.
“Asan na tugtog mo?” Stacey rolls her eyes at Colet antics. Stacey loves it, though.
“Kailangan pa ba ng kanta?”
“Dami mong alam, Colet.”
But they found themselves slow dancing, anyway.
They’d share a hearty meal that Stacey loved. Just them and good food. Conversations about the most random thing that happened in their day.
Laughs they’d share when one throws a punchline joke. Or the soft playful kicks under the table when they sit in front of each other (Stacey normally wants to sit beside Colet).
After they eat, Stacey would lead Colet onto the latter’s spacious living room.
Their homes were the total opposite. Colet’s was more industrial and clean. It lacked the color that Stacey loved but Colet’s presence sufficed—even better than any colors her eyes could identify.
It’s one of those nights where Stacey is caught up in academic work. She’s a believer of peace over anything, sometimes, peace often brings disaster.
Choosing her peace of mind sometimes causes her to actually forget about the things she has to do for school.
“Fuck, ang daming backlogs naman…” Stacey rubs her temples as the girl sitting on the other side of the table sympathetically watches Stacey.
“Madami pa yan, Staks? Need help?”
“Ms. Chivalrous, alam kong gusto mo akong tulungan pero marami ka pang case studies. Tigilan ako.”
Colet is just that. The girl who’d do anything for Stacey? What are they anyway?
Colet is just that.
“I don’t even know why I’m taking this business course, eh gusto ko maging model! If not, FA!” Colet admires how Stacey is so sure of what she wants to become. It’s just sad how Stacey is not able to do what she wants right now, but meeting Colet is the best consolation.
Colet stands up and move to where Stacey was, “Hinay hinay, matatapos mo rin ‘yan.”
The older one fights the urge to kiss Stacey’s head. She battles herself every night thinking what they are, enough for her to reassess and stop giving them problems they know they’d rather not face.
“Hot coffee, gusto mo?”
A consolation indeed, Stacey smiled at Colet’s offer, “Pwede, iced? Col?
“Sigi…” A cute thing Colet does only with Stacey. She’s just too sure of that girl.
While Colet was busy making Stacey her drink, she heard a faint sound, perhaps Stacey moved from the dining area to her bedroom to take a call.
“Mom, I know po. I just don’t know what I want to do right now! Gosh naman, my!”
The more they got closer, Colet got to know Stacey deeper. By that, she knew that the younger one loves her mother so much. Despite being loud and often confusing, Stacey had so much love to give. Colet assumed that she just had no place to give her love to.
And if Colet had one goal, that is to be a place of comfort—someone Stacey could pour all her love and frustrations to. Colet was willing to take it all.
“My, basta ngayon, priority ko is to graduate. Kung ano gagawin ko after? Tsaka na yun!”
As the voice neared, Colet felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist.
“Yup, I’m with a friend right now. Love you, mom. Bye bye, see you soon, mommy.” As Stacey bid her mother goodbye, she also placed a kiss on Colet’s shoulders.
A friend.
It was the truth though. They were friends, classmates, schoolmates, best friends, and all the mundane relationships one could think about.
Colet never argued because she felt that Stacey was too preoccupied to be bothered by her feelings.
“Mom is asking bakit ko pa pinipilit ‘tong course if hindi naman ito ang gusto kong i-pursue after grad.” Stacey casually shared, tightening her hug on Colet.
“As if hindi ko rin question yun! Right, Cols?”
Colet had no perfect view of Stacey but by the tone of her voice, she was certain that the girl was pouting.
“Pero nga Staks, no pressure but may plans ka na ba? Hindi ba’t gusto ka kunin ni tita?”
Stacey chuckled, “You make it sound scary, Cols. Pero oo, she wants me to follow her to London.”
Colet also carried the burden of knowing that if Stacey had to choose between their friendship and her mother, plus her dream to become a model… she had no chances of winning.
So, she never argued. Never questioned.
“I’m staying. I don’t feel like leaving the Philippines. Tsaka, either way naman, I can get rich so, might as well be happy na lang.”
Colet turned to face Stacey as she handed her the glass of iced coffee, “Tama, kung saan ka masaya.”
“Exactly why I am here with you.”
Just that, regardless of how many battles Colet fought—trying to understand the thing that’s happening between them—she finds herself being gravitated towards Stacey anyway.
“I wish we could stay longer like this,” Stacey started before the two of them shifts their attention towards Stacey’s phone with the notification that read:
pretty mom
forgot to tell you, princess… remember mio?
your ninang’s son, emilio. he’ll visit and he’s asking for you.
“Speaking of the angel, nakakainis bakit ako need mag host ng bisita! If I remember correctly naman, seven years old pa kami nung super close namin, gosh!”
Colet knew what followed, it’s either Stacey would be gone for long—meaning that she had no spare time to be with Colet. Or Stacey would pamper her with kisses and sweet nothings to ease not Colet’s worries… but Stacey’s.
Colet could and would never blame Stacey though. Because this is what she signed up for, right? To be a safe ground for Stacey. Someone she could love and someone she could pour all her frustrations to.
Regardless if it’s Colet’s heart at risk of breaking.
“I might have to sleep at my place tonight, Colet. Nakakainis kasi si mommy! Baka daw tomorrow morning dumalaw si Emi.”
Colet bitterly smiled, a man’s nickname flowed easily out of Stacey’s mouth. And she realized that she’ll never win a battle that involved Stacey.
“Sure. I’ll walk you home para hindi delikado, pagod ka rin ngayon gabi. Baka mapaano ka.”
Stacey never felt this type of warmth until Colet. In return, she kissed Colet by the sides of her lips.
“Thank you.”
Colet wanted to pull Stacey in for a hug but Stacey moved away quicker than Colet’s impending embrace.
“Might have to leave in ten, Cols.”
We ran out of time again tonight
Happens like this every time
So what are you doin’ for the rest of your life?
It’s one of those calm afternoons and Colet had no classes for the day, so she decided to spend her time accomplishing requirements at a nearby cafe—just for a change of environment.
It had been about a week? Or maybe a week and a half that Colet hasn’t been hanging out with Stacey, and it’s not by choice. After all, they are from different programs and institutes. Although they normally chat with each other, Colet ached for more than just that.
Colet misses Stacey, that’s for sure.
She misses how Stacey would ask for them to eat lunch together, or how Stacey’s laughter would pierce through her eardrums. Even Stacey’s playful hits were seemingly engraved in her left arm.
It frustrates Colet that no matter how hard she tries to focus on her research paper, everything spirals back to the thoughts of no other than Stacey Sevilleja.
Her friend for god’s sake.
A friend she kisses. A friend she misses. A friend who casually asks her to share the same bed. To make matters worse for Colet? She often spends her midnights wishing they were more than just that.
But whenever Stacey unintentionally dismisses her, Colet found herself with no other choice but to suck it up and remind herself that whatever’s going on, Stacey might just give zero fucks.
Of course, Colet had already argued with herself on this one, that it’s unfair if Stacey had no clue about the mess that’s been going on in her head. But even Colet couldn’t blame herself because whenever she tries to talk to Stacey, the younger always has a way out.
Was Stacey just good at giving Colet excuses? Or was time just on Stacey’s side, that maybe Stacey wasn’t ready for the talk about what they really are.
In times of doubt, Colet just tells herself that they just ran out of time for the day.
But it happens, again and again and again.
“We still have the rest of our life, Stacey…” Colet tried to assure herself because no matter how shaky the ground their so-called friendship was built on, Stacey’s someone she sees telling the moon even when their old.
As if on cue,
pink princess
cols, i miss you :(( meet up?
tapos na ako for the day?
free ka?
btw, miss na talaga kita
cocacolet typing…
cocacolet
hi, staks. oo, free ako :)
puntahan kita sa campus?
missed you too, big time.
Colet chooses to believe that they still have a lifetime to go, but if it’s only this life that they got, maybe, just maybe, losing time over and over again is better than not having Stacey for the rest of her life.
The walk to the university campus was humid but Colet could feel her hands tremble and it’s all because it’s Stacey she’s meeting.
Once a random girl in a minor course turned into a girl she kissed, a girl who wondered what it was like to be kissed, and even a girl she shared slow dances with. Eventually, a girl she wanted to be with.
A girl Colet has told the moon to.
The moon knows how bright Colet’s smiles were every night she walks Stacey home.
And when they run out of time? The moon also knows how Colet cries, not in loudness, but in silence.
Stacey’s name is the only whisper Colet tells the moon, she was a prayer, sometimes, even a secret that she knows she can never leave.
“I missed you.” Stacey pulled Colet into a tight embrace, her arms wrapped around Colet’s waist, the younger one adjusting her stance to perfectly match Colet’s height. “Namiss din kita, kumusta?”
Colet feels her heart beat out of her chest, their close proximity was all it took for her to be drawn back into Stacey’s world. Her heart raced and Stacey noticed but she never paid attention to it anyway.
“Kailangan lang kita makita. Baka hindi ko na kayanin if di kita ma-meet this week.”
Colet tried to gaslight herself into thinking that Stacey’s voice wasn’t tender, that it wasn’t warm. But it was. Stacey spoke to her as if she was her lifeline, as if Colet’s the one keeping her steady, keeps her alive.
“May nangyari ba, Staks?” Colet worriedly stroked Stacey’s hair, “None.”
“But I’ll have to fake smiles again later. Family dinner with a family friend.”
Maybe Colet was her escape and maybe Colet always understood that. And maybe, she believed that it is better than to be nothing in the younger one’s life.
“Dito lang naman ako.”
“I know.”
“Pahinga ka?”
“It’s fine. I’m fine already, nayakap na kita. I’ll have to get going too, in a while.”
Colet smiled and nodded, she did so even if she wanted to hug Stacey for a little bit longer. A little bit tighter and maybe kiss her again—a little more softer than the last time.
Baby, keep kissing me softly
Holding me, whispering quietly
Darling, I think that this might be the greatest love story
Stacey kept glancing at her wrist watch, even if she wishes for time to run fast, she knows it’ll never will. Kaya wala siyang choice kundi bantayan nalang ito.
“Have anywhere else to be, Aubs?” She pans her gaze towards Emilio who’s just sitting in front of her. Stacey mentally questions why her childhood friend hasn’t left the Philippines yet. Dahil dito, para pa siyang nagkaroon ng responsibilidad.
It’s his second week in the country at dahil si Stacey na lamang ang kilala niya, their families asked a favor for Stacey to host and be with Emilio just until he leaves for London again.
“Ah, no naman. Habit ko lang siguro tumingin sa relo ko.” Stacey flashed him a somewhat awkward smile, of course, she was guilty of lying.
She even regrets saying yes to this dinner with someone she doesn’t see the need to reconnect with but what choice did she have though?
“Just tell me if you need to be somewhere else, alright? I can, you know, go with you if you’ll allow me to,” sure, Emilio is a great guy. They spent their younger years together and they had a wonderful childhood. He even turned out to be a gentleman but Stacey doesn’t want that.
She wanted to be with Colet.
Stacey wanted to spend her time sitting on Colet’s couch, watching romantic films that she’s well aware Colet dislikes.
Stacey wanted to soothe herself with Colet’s hugs, she wanted to hear Colet’s random rants, and even her takes on politics that Stacey doesn’t fancy listening to as well (despite Colet having a great political stance).
Stacey missed the slow dancing. She missed the random back hugs, the random kisses, and the random banters in between. All of which Stacey only experiences with Colet.
Who happens to be just a friend.
“I think… your mind is elsewhere, Aubs.” Emilio smiled at Stacey.
Fuck it.
That was the sign. Stacey flashed Emilio an apologetic smile.
“I… I actually need to be somewhere else, Mils.”
Emilio nodded and Stacey never fled a place that fast in her entire life.
It took Stacey a few minutes to leave the restaurant. They settled the bill, shared proper goodbyes, and Stacey wasted no time.
She had no car, no nothing. But in just thirty minutes or so, Stacey found herself asking Colet’s apartment security guard if she could come up to Colet’s unit.
“Kuya Brav, dali na please…”
Stacey did not even notice the tears pooling in her eyes, she just wanted to see Colet.
“Boss Staks, management policy po kasi na kailangan kayong i-sign up nung tenant. Nasan po ba kasi si Ma’am Colet?”
Bravo, the building security guard that happens to be close to the two girls softly said.
“Hindi ko po ma contact eh, dali na kuya Bravo, tropa naman tayo eh,” the girl pleaded which caused the security personnel to scratch the back of his head.
“‘Di mo talaga pwede, Ms. Stacey. May CCTV din po, mahirap na po. Pasensya na talaga.”
Defeated, Stacey only nodded in complete understanding that what their kuya Bravo is doing is part of his job she had no rights of questioning.
Hindi rin siya matulungan ni Bravo dahil kaka simula lang ng shift nito. Unfortunately, the building has no record of tenants leaving or entering.
However, Colet may be right after all… that time is on Stacey’s side because just when Stacey’s slowly losing hope, Colet walks in holding a plastic bag of what Stacey believes is food.
“Ma’am Colet! Hinahanap po kayo ni boss Stacey,” it was Bravo who broke the tension just immediately.
Colet’s knees locked, hindi niya alam ang ginagawa doon ni Stacey when she made it clear that she had plans for the night.
“Cols,” the younger one called out softly, “Usap.”
Fortunately for Stacey, Colet never learned how to say no to her.
“Sige, sa taas. Usap tayo,” Colet smiled.
Unfortunately for Colet, she doesn’t want to learn how to say no to her either.
It's a new feeling I'm finding
Where the hell have you been hiding?
We'll tell the moon when we're old
Colet closes the door behind them. Stacey nervously paced inside Colet’s apartment which she never does.
“Anong problema, Staks? May ginawa ba sayo yung Emilio?” Colet questioned, her tone masked with anger and fear as she placed the bag of food she was holding on her dining table.
Stacey shakes her head, “No. Wala.”
Colet slightly calms down when Stacey said no, “Anong nangyari ba?”
They were a few feet apart, Stacey standing right beside the living room couch and Colet leaning on a chair in her dining area.
“Akala ko mag uusap? May problema ba Stacey?”
When Stacey doesn’t answer, Colet feels her heart race.
Galit ba sa kanya si Stacey? Aalis na ba si Stacey? Ayaw na ba sa kanya ni Stacey? Heck, did Stacey even want her in the first place?
All of her worries urged her to approach Stacey. Every step is heavy with doubts that whatever they have may end tonight, in that very moment, in her very apartment.
“Stacey… may nagawa ba ako?”
Colet wanted to reach out, to hold Stacey by the hands like they normally would. Or pull her in for a hug like it’s their second nature.
“Wala, ewan ko. Nakakalito ka.”
Colet’s brows raised upon hearing Stacey.
“Ano? Bakit ako? Anong ako? Nakakalito ako? Eh wala nga akong ginawa sayo eh.”
Maybe it’s the frustration of missing Stacey or maybe it was because of hunger, or stress, or the feelings Colet never bothered naming.
“Ikaw ‘tong biglang nasa lobby tapos ako ‘tong nakakalito?” Colet turns around, Stacey follows her.
“Oo! Kasi hindi kita maintindihan!”
Colet hears the stomping of Stacey’s feet and she hates herself for finding it adorable.
“Ano ba kasi ginawa ko nga? Mag s-sorry naman ako eh, ang kaso hindi ko talaga alam ano bang ginawa ko sayo, Staks. Seryoso.”
The older one stopped pacing around to see Stacey with tears on her cheeks, her shoulders going up and down, probably from trying to stop herself from crying.
Stacey, this time, walks away from Colet, back to where she was initially standing.
Colet swore she wanted to roll her eyes at Stacey’s behavior but she followed her anyway.
“Staks…”
“Okay si Emilio. Mabait.”
“Okay. Si Emilio ang topic. Lilinawin ko lang, wala akong ginawa?”
“He asks me about my day. He remembers our childhood memories. He wants to know me as Stacey and not just as the Aubs he grew up with,” the older one nods as Stacey continued.
“Okay…”
“Pero tingin ako nang tingin sa relo ko! Bwisit ka, Colet! Dahil sayo tingin ako ng tingin sa orasan ko!”
Stacey plopped herself on Colet’s couch and hugged a pillow, burying her face and allowed herself to sob.
It broke Colet’s heart.
The last thing she wants to see Stacey is crying.
“Princess…”
But she was stopped in her tracks when Stacey looked back up at her, tears streaming down her face.
“Tingin ako nang tingin kasi I want to be with you!” Stacey threw the pillow at Colet. Stacey grabs another pillow to hug.
“Dito sa bahay mo! Or sa condo ko. Sa lugawan, sa McDo sa kanto, or sa siomai-an!”
Colet stood frozen.
“Nakakalito kahit hindi naman dapat…” Stacey’s voice calmed down, “Kasi diba sabi mo, hindi naman mali ang magkagusto?”
Stacey wipes her own tears gently.
“Kasi diba dapat madali lang aminin na gusto kita? Diba? Kasi nga hindi naman mali…”
Stacey closed her eyes, continued to sob, and laid her head on the back rest of Colet’s couch.
Stacey spoke again, “Diba?”
“Dapat kaya ko sabihin sayo na ‘Colet, I like you’ or di kaya, ‘Gusto kita, Cols’,” all that Colet could hear was ringing in her ears and Stacey’s shaky voice from crying.
“Na dapat kaya ko sabihin sayo na Colet, ako na lang. Tayo na lang…”
Colet’s ears were ringing so much that she doesn’t even understand what’s going on. Colet did not know Stacey was there… confessing. To her.
“Like what the fuck, Stacey Aubrey! Ang tanga mo naman to let yourself be hugged and kissed tapos hindi ka mag iisip na may something? Na baka may something?!”
Colet was still frozen.
“Kasi okay naman ako eh! Walang Colet sa buhay ko before that freaking PPGC subject,” she finally looked at Colet again. Although vision blurry, Stacey saw how Colet stood awkwardly firm.
“Wala akong pake if lahat ng tao sa paligid ko nag mamahal na. Wala akong pake kung bawat lugar na puntahan ko may mag jowa, hell, why the fuck would I care about that, Cols?”
Colet takes one step.
“Kinikilig pa nga ako sa iba eh! Na good for them they found the person they’d love for the rest of their lives! Wow!”
Stacey laughs sarcastically.
Then Stacey takes a deep breath while Colet takes a step closer.
“Pero ngayon, wala na! Lagi ka na kasama! Everywhere I go, everywhere I look, napapa isip ako ano kaya pag kasama kita?”
The third step was Colet’s last straw.
She managed to gather all the courage she had saved up to finally speak up and soak in everything Stacey has been saying.
“Malala na ba ‘yon, Staks?”
Then Stacey stops, tangina ano daw?
“Kasi habang iniisip mo ano kaya pag kasama mo ako… andon na ako sa paano kung hindi ikaw ang kasama ko,” Colet breaks.
“Na what if hindi kita ka section sa PPGC? Paano kapag hindi ka sakin tumabi? Paano kapag hindi kita inayang kumain? O di kaya paano kapag humindi ka?”
Colet finally spoke.
“I like you, Colet.”
Ang daming tanong, yun lang din naman ang sagot.
“Bago lang sakin, Cols. Lahat. Ikaw. Ito. It’s all new to me.” Stacey catches her breath and allows herself to stand up, to walk towards Colet.
To hug her. Feel her.
“Gusto kita. Tell me you like me too, please…”
Stacey rests her head on Colet’s shoulders. Kahit pa mas matangkad siya, her body just found its place where it was meant to be.
“Stacey.”
“Kung sasabihin mong ayaw mo sakin, wag ka na lang mag salita.”
And Colet really doesn’t.
“Tangina mo naman eh! Magsalita ka naman!”
She pulls away when she realizes maybe the reason why Colet hasn’t spoken is because the latter really did not want her back.
“Huy… Cols… Speak….”
Stacet tugs on Colet’s pinky.
“I love you.”