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YAAAAWN.
With his eyes glued to a particular stain on the couch underneath him, Murderface let out a sigh, tired and heavy. He was trying (albeit not very hard) to pay attention to the relentless yapping of his producer, Dick Knubbler - who was lounging comfortably on the cushion next to him - but the words ran through his mind like water through a sieve. A few expletives and mentions of piss stuck out, but otherwise it was just a bunch of talk about projected sales, marketing tie-ins, press conferences… the same corporate bullshit Offdensen had probably already spewed at him. Not that he’d remember. The robot rarely said anything interesting enough to commit to memory.
“…so I was gonna call ‘em and-“ Knubbler trailed off mid-sentence, minimising an email tab on his digital eye that had been shrouding his vision. “Willy, babe. Ya listening?”
Murderface picked at a loose thread on his vest and grunted.
“…This is important stuff.”
This time Murderface scoffed. He abandoned the string and turned his gaze up, meeting Dick’s fluorescent pupils as an incredulous smirk crawled over his face.
“Oh yeah, schuuuure it ish.” William’s expression contorted into a look of performative attentiveness as he nodded and brought one hand to his chin thoughtfully, selling the illusion. “Should I be takin’ notesh? Or, even better, I’ll write down EVERY fuckin’ word.”
“I’m serious, Will.”
“Oh, me too, Dick! Gawsh, thish ish what metal’s ALLL about, huh?” He mimicked the motion of a pen with one hand, miming writing on his other palm. Knubbler’s pupils contracted.
“‘It’s im-por-tant… to shuck… Off-den-sen’s…’ hold on, did you shay dick or penish there?”
Knubbler stayed quiet as William looked him dead in the eyes and scoffed. His pupils were barely visible; tiny red dots glaring at Murderface from screens that seemed far too big for them. It was a warning sign. One that Murderface hadn’t yet come to recognise.
“Tch… yeah, y’know what, shcratch that. I’ll jusht shove a SHTICK up my ASSH like YOU do.” The words dripped with malice.
Knubbler crossed his arms, keeping his gaze fixed on Murderface as the air grew thick and oppressive; settling over the two of them like a heavy, itchy blanket.
“…ya done, William?”
Knubbler spoke through gritted teeth and pursed lips as his irises pulsed and contorted.
That caught Murderface’s attention.
Curiously, he stared into Knubbler’s eye-socket-computer-thingies - or whatever the fuck they were - watching the red LEDs inside quiver and twist frantically, as if they were blobs of wax in a lava lamp.
“Uhhhh…”
“WHAT. Got somethin’ else to say, HOT-SHOT?”
As soon as the words escaped Dick’s mouth, his pupils dilated, flashing frantically like fireworks in an empty night sky. Murderface gaped at him.
“…woah.”
Knubbler blinked - or, more accurately, flickered - at the unprecedented reaction.
“…what?”
Once again, his digital eyes acted on their own; warping and shrinking as they took on a pale yellow hue. Murderface just kept staring at him in awe, oblivious to the fact that Knubbler had no clue what he was suddenly so interested in.
“Holy shit, dude…” William murmured, raising from the couch slightly as he shifted closer for a better look. He’d already completely forgotten that they were arguing just moments before. The only thing important to Murderface right now was inspecting those screens. Now that he thought about it, the things were pretty fuckin’ metal. And he'd never really gotten a good look at them before.
Knubbler froze up completely as the husky bassist scooched towards him on the couch. Nervously, his eyes flitted around in their sockets, shifting in a strangely organic way; which, unfortunately, only increased Murderface’s selfish curiosity.
“…babe? What… what are you…”
Within seconds, Murderface was on top of him.
Knubbler’s face flushed as William crawled over him, unintentionally pinning him to the sofa’s armrest, and gazed inquisitively into his eyes. Awkwardly, he choked out something between a laugh and a cough. Dick was pretty particular about his personal space at the best of times; having the guy he’d been secretly fantasising about clamber on top of him like it was no big deal was sending his brain into an anxious spiral.
Woah. They were all neon and swirly now. That looked REALLY fuckin’ cool.
Wordlessly, Murderface pulled a finger to the glass screen and tapped it; instinctively, Dick flinched, and he paused.
“Doesh that hurt?”
Knubbler gulped. What. The fuck. Was happening right now.
“Er… no?”
His eyes flicked downwards to glance at his hands, which were hovering over his chest and quivering, as William tapped at their thick glass screen again, slightly gentler this time. They didn’t stay down for long, though. Knubbler couldn’t help taking in the sight. He’d spent too many restless nights visualising it to let it go to waste. If there was one thing Dick Knubbler was good at, it was goin’ with the flow, baby. And he was more than happy to be along for THIS ride.
As he admired the man, his pupils turned a bright shade of green, dilating until they almost filled the entire screen. Murderface’s jaw literally dropped.
“Woah.”
As quickly as they’d grown, his pupils contracted, startled by the response.
“No, no, do that again.”
“…What, babe?”
“Do that again. With your eyesh.” Murderface made a flashing motion with one hand to emphasise his point.
“… OH! You mean, make ‘em big?”
“Yeah.” William nodded enthusiastically, an action which came off as slightly uncanny mixed with his perpetually frustrated expression. Knubbler smirked.
“Ok, wait… I think I can, uh… hold on…”
Fruitlessly, Dick fiddled with his eyes’ manual settings through a tab on his screens, but the things were buggy as shit. He’d already learnt that. He cursed under his breath as he closed the window, resorting to the only reliable method he knew of; looking at something he liked.
Murderface grinned as Knubbler’s eyes flicked downward and dilated again, tracing the reflections of circuits and UI lit up by the backlight of Dick’s looming irises.
“I can shee all the wiresh and shit. Brutal.”
“Mm-hmm” Knubbler murmured, his gaze lingering on William’s crotch as he pictured what was lurking underneath those tacky cargo shorts. “Pretty cool, huh, Willy?”
“Yeah. Hey…” Murderface shifted his weight and brought his other hand up to Knubbler’s face, fingering the outer ring of one eye while he wiped a smudge off the other. “…what does pink mean?”
“…huh?”
Knubbler looked back up at him, shivering as rough fingers made contact with the tender connection between metal and flesh.
“Well, like… I know green ish normal… red ish angry, and yellow is, like… confushed, I guessh?… but what’sh pink?”
“Hold on, babe, I’m lost, what, uh… what are you askin’ me?”
Murderface pointed at his own eyes, making an unimpressed face.
“Your eyes, Dick. They change colour when you feel different, right?”
“Er… yes?”
“Ok, sho… they went pink jusht then. What emoshun issat?”
Knubbler blushed. A smile crept across his face as he realised what had happened.
“They went pink… when I made ‘em big for ya?”
“Yeah, jusht before.”
“When I, uh… looked down?”
“Yeah?”
“I looked down. At you. And my eyes went big and pink.”
“The hell are you doin’ Knubbler, jusht fuckin’ tell me what it meansh.”
Dick giggled and brought a hand to his mouth as Murderface scowled down at him.
“WHAT?!” Murderface growled, causing Knubbler to erupt in a cacophony of shrill, embarrassed laughter. William grabbed his collar in frustration and yanked Dick’s forward, spraying spittle on his face as he roared at him.
“HEY!! WHAT THE FUCK ISH SHO FUNNY?!?”
“nGHAHAHA… sorry, babe, sorry, it’s just, uh… woof, how do I say this…” With a huff, he dropped back to the couch, still gazing at William’s frustrated expression. “Hm. Well, Willy… I think pink means, er…”
He lowered his voice to a whisper and leaned into Murderface, shielding his mouth with one hand while the other pointed to his crotch.
“…excited. If ya know what I mean.”
Murderface’s expression warped, shifting between confusion, realisation, and shock, before settling on something indiscernible, accompanied by a deep shade of crimson that spread over his cheeks.
“O-oh.”
Hurriedly, he untangled himself from Knubbler, retreating to his previous position on the couch and putting as much distance between them as possible. Dick snickered, stretching an arm across the back of the sofa as he pulled himself back upright.
“Aw… finished already? C’mon, I’m sure I could give ya s’more stuff to look at…” Knubbler teased. If William wanted to push Dick’s buttons, Dick was gonna push right back. He’d earned the right to be an ass to him today. Murderface grunted as nonchalantly as he could, avoiding eye contact. That was what had got him into this mess in the first place after all. Knubbler chuckled.
“Alright, alright. You ready to pay attention now, Willy? Or, uh… ya still keen on that whole “stick up your ass” idea? ‘Cause, er… ya know, I could help you out with either, babe.”
Murderface shot daggers at him, still bright red.
“Well? Whaddaya say?”
“…I’ll pay attenshun.”
“Thanks, Willy!”
Without another word, Knubbler launched back into his rant, as if he’d never even stopped. He’d have to remember this strategy. And, hey, maybe it could actually lead to something someday. Probably not, but you never know.
Only time would tell.