Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The first thing Shinjiro felt when he woke up was a gentle draft shifting a lock of his overgrown bangs across his cheek. Soft and simple, but real enough to cause his eyes to blink open. 
The bright, sanitized atmosphere and buzzing fluorescents above his head made it clear he was in the hospital. 

The hospital… Right. That asshole Takaya shot him. Twice. 

… How in the hell was he still alive? 

It was difficult to move, but he could manage shifting his eyes to take in his surroundings. Not much to see really.
 A chair. A monitor. A sink. An open window with a white curtain gently billowing in the wind. 
He looked to his open left palm lying beside him and saw the tiny pink petal of a cherry blossom within the cup of his hand, contrasting the unwelcome sight of tubes latched to his arm. 
But how could there be a cherry blossom petal laying in his hand, or a warm breeze on his cheek? Wasn’t it October?

Shit. Wasn’t it?

He wasn’t alone with his questions for too long before someone checked on him. Some nurse who seemed very surprised to see him awake. 

For hours after that, Shinjiro was subjected to a dizzying, seemingly endless barrage of questions and physical exams.
His tongue felt like molasses in the soft cavern of his mouth, and his body felt even worse. His reaction time both mentally and physically was alarmingly slow. He struggled, stammered through nearly every question, and could hardly move at all when asked. It was as if his muscles were made of brittle stone. 

By the time they finally left him alone, it was dark. Even though he was exhausted, the idea of closing his eyes gave him the creeps. Even if he could sleep, he would have been periodically woken up by doctors and nurses. The whole night was instead spent organizing his thoughts, quietly making sure all of his memories were intact. As well as the facts about his current condition he could grasp. 

He had understood what the doctor said well enough. That he’d been out for nearly half a year already. And that while a bullet had nearly hit his vital organs, he was barely saved by a certain object in his inner breast pocket…
The memories were fuzzy but became clearer as he adjusted to the waking world. He remembered what had been in his breast pocket that night. He remembered the soft hand he’d held as his pocket watch was returned to him. That girl’s intense, doe-eyed amber gaze. How annoyingly appropriate it was that she’d unwittingly saved his life by meddling into his problems. Again.

If it were at all possible, Shinjiro would have sworn that the thought of her was what really made his heart start up properly again. Enough to make him want to move a bit more. 
Grunting, he shifted his chest and tried to sit up to get a better look at the sun peeking through the trees this morning. Just in time for the door to his room to roll open with a start. 

"Shinji!!"

Aki was at his bedside in an instant, totally out of breath and seeming awfully rattled. Had he run all the way here to see him? He didn’t need to freak out like that, it wasn’t like he’d be leaving anytime soon. He thought to say as much, but even thinking about it exhausted him.

"… Aki." He croaked carefully instead, the usual, simple ease of his childhood friend’s name was a frustrating struggle. His mouth simply couldn’t keep up with his brain. 

"You really are awake… I-I can’t believe it! Sh… Shinji…"

They took in the sight of each other. Shinjiro noticed that his friend was filling out his school uniform in a way that really emphasized the man he was becoming… Or– maybe had finally become in the time he’d been asleep. Was five months that long?
In comparison, he must’ve looked like shit. Pale and emaciated from months of lying around with a dead brain. Meanwhile, Akihiko was out there growing up— training to be stronger, like always.

"... so … w-…what’d I miss..?" 
he wryly asked, earning a thick laugh from Akihiko.

"What’d you miss? Hah… Man, Shinji. You have no idea." 
His tone was complex and difficult to decipher.
"Well… To start… We completed our mission. It's really over now."

It was a shock, but not as much as he thought it would be. 
Before rejoining, he hadn’t been sure if it was at all possible to rid the world of The Dark Hour, Shadows and Personas. But by the time he thought he was a goner, Shinjiro had a new kind of faith. Upon waking, he had somehow felt a nearly imperceptible shift in the air. Something fresh and full of possibility. And if he was feeling it, it had to count for something.

Come to think of it– Shinjiro couldn’t believe he’d missed it– but all of last night while he was deep in thought, the Dark Hour never came.

Shinjiro breathed in Akihiko’s words. It really was over now.

"... Amada. How’s he?"

His immediate concern for the youngest member of their team lurched out of him without control, the energy in his tone of voice belying his weakness, if just for a moment. Even Akihiko seemed to notice with pleasant surprise.

"He’s fine! He’s good. He was at the final battle with the rest of us. He did good."

"Tch…" Shinjiro nodded in acceptance of that answer, even if it wasn’t really what he’d meant,
"... You did good. Sorry… Slept through it all."

"Yeah, you idiot." Akihiko chuckled and sniffed harshly, almost going for a playful punch at Shinjiro’s shoulder, but thought better of it only in time to strangely grip the blanket beside him,
 "... I’m just glad you’re awake… you stupid jerk… You had us all worried."

"hmph," he didn’t have the energy or mental articulation to quickly come up with a witty retort, so he let that settle into the room.

"... Where’s… everyone..?"

"Ah. They’re… around. Some of us will probably come to visit you soon, if you feel up to it."

As much as Shinjiro could quietly admit to himself that it was nice to be cared about, he hated the idea of being crowded around in this little hospital room. Being on display in his weakest moment for everyone to fawn over and get all emotional on him just wasn’t his style. He cringed– only slightly, he thought, but Akihiko chuckled. He must have noticed.

"It can’t be helped. Like I said, you worried us all. Now you need to make amends."

"Jeez… fine." He groaned under his breath, "... I do need to thank Shiomi."

"... Shiomi?" Akihiko’s voice wavered.

Shinjiro shook his head, "Yeah—uh, Kotone, I mean. Don’t worry ‘bout it… is she gonna come later..?"

Akihiko’s expression turned strange in a way that made Shinjiro’s stomach sink. He felt the urge to ask Akihiko if he was alright, but before either of them could speak again, the door to his room rattled once more. This time Mitsuru entered, with the doctor beside her.

"So, it’s really true." She smiled and crossed her arms with a deep breath. "Aragaki, you’ve woken up at long last. Thank goodness."

"Hey… Hey Kirijo." he sighed and tried to sit up straighter.

"I’ve just spoken with the doctor, and he’s confident you’ll be able to make a full recovery."

"When Aragaki-san was admitted here five months ago," the doctor explained, "Not only had he sustained damage from the events of that night, but prolonged use of suppressants had also damaged his endocrine system. It was actually somewhat lucky, in a way, that we had admitted him when he did. While he rested, we could treat the many health problems he’d been battling. If he hadn’t been here, he might not have had long, anyway."

"So… Now Shinji is okay? The suppressants didn’t do permanent damage?" Akihiko gasped out hopefully.

"The answers to that will depend a lot on the next couple of weeks. Many of his muscles have atrophied from lack of use, and there are several tests we still need to conduct in order to find out the level of cognitive damage sustained. However, with hard work in physical therapy and proper nutrition, there’s a strong chance that Aragaki-san can live a normal, full life."

A normal, full life. Shinjiro could barely fathom such a thing for himself. He tried not to scoff.

Leaning back into his bed, he half-listened to the conversation Akihiko and Mitsuru were having with his doctor. This shit was so annoying. Whatever. He’d do whatever he needed to do to get the hell out of here. He just hoped his head wasn’t too messed up. Just well enough to get by. Wasn’t like he was ever a genius, anyway. Once he got out of this hospital, though… What then? Work? School?? He’d completely given up on a future–so much so that it felt sort of like a frustrating wrench in his plans to be suddenly confronted with a normal, full life. Whatever that even was… 

Did Kotone know he was alright? He’d almost expected her to be barging in any second to give him an earful, crying and laughing and getting all fussy over him right beside Aki… Of course, Shinjiro told himself to remember that a lot of time had passed, and… maybe her feelings had changed. Still, no matter how she felt about him after five months, she’d definitely be happy he was alive, right? If she were here, hearing that it was possible for him to live a normal, full life, she’d probably be thrilled. Maybe she’d even be able to convince him it was a good thing. If she was smiling at him right now… it’d be easier to feel positive, maybe. 

He huffed in annoyance at his own mind. Even after a friggin’ coma, he couldn’t get her out of his damn head. 

"Aragaki? Are you in pain?" Mitsuru asked gently, hearing him groan in his mental anguish. Seemed like the doc had left the three of them to visit while he had been stuck in his own thoughts. He looked away with a frown.

"... Just a little headache. I’m fine."

"You should drink some water! From now on, you’re gonna have to train like an athlete to recover! Proper hydration is important to–"

"Jeez, I get it." He raised up a hand to stop Akihiko’s coaching, and just about exhausted himself reaching over to the tray in front of him with a paper cup of room temperature water for him to struggle sipping.

"It certainly is nice to see you up and moving again," Mitsuru smiled softly to him. 

He tsked and sipped the rest of the water from his cup, coating his dry mouth. He could respect that from Mitsuru’s perspective, seeing him up and talking at all was a good thing. He couldn’t imagine how it must have felt to see him lay in bed for months without changing at all. But when it came down to how he actually felt, it certainly didn’t feel like he was up and moving– or healthy at all. It was actually comical that he was being told he was going to survive, when he had truly never felt sicker in his life. And he hadn’t been in good shape before. 

Whatever. He changed the subject. 

"... Aki said that you all sent the Dark Hour packing. Congrats. You’ve been fighting the longest, so it must… mean a lot."

Mitsuru let out a soft sigh, quite grateful for that fact, nodding with the same determination Shinjiro had grown so used to seeing in her. 

"It’s a miracle. Of course, I still have a lot to atone for as the daughter of The Kirijo Group. But with everyone’s help–including yours–we managed to avert disaster. I can’t thank everyone enough, for all they’ve done… or properly apologize for what has been lost. "

Mitsuru could have been talking about a lot of different things — including something he’d missed. Her dark tone gave him the impression that something terrible had just happened. The pit of his stomach did another nasty flop. 
… where were all the others?

"... Aki said the others were around. So what’s keepin’ em? They gonna do shifts or somethin’?"

"Ah… Well… no…" Mitsuru straightened up and glanced over at Akihiko, "I’m afraid the others are caught up right now… Akihiko, I thought you would have told him."

"I didn’t have the time. A lot’s happened…" Akihiko frowned at Mitsuru and looked away. Staring at the floor and tightening his fists at his side. The gratitude that had been in both of their eyes melted into an anxiety that made Shinji’s stomach drop yet again. He rolled his shoulders back with a grunt. Whatever this was, it wasn’t good.

"The hell’s going on? … Someone get hurt?"

Mitsuru and Akihiko both looked at each other, silently ping-ponging some single horrid thought between them. 

"Just tell me." Shinjiro barked impatiently. 

Ultimately, Mitsuru lost the volley, and she turned fully to Shinjiro to deliver the very bad news.

"… Yesterday afternoon," she began, biting her bottom lip and scraping information out slowly,
"Both Sakuya and Kotone Shiomi seemed to fall asleep on the school roof during the graduation ceremony. At first… we… Well, at least, we told ourselves it was nothing serious…"

 Mitsuru's voice trembled as she continued, wrapping her arms close around her body. Shinjiro’s heart plummeted deep into his gut the moment the twin-leader’s names were said.

"But now we can’t seem to wake them, no matter what we do.
We were rushing them to the hospital this morning when we heard you’d awoken."

Chapter Text

The morning had been frantic and dire. Rushed from room to room, hallway to hallway. Repeating the same answers over and over and over. 

They won’t wake up. We don’t know what happened. They seemed fine.
They won’t wake up. They won’t wake up. They won’t wake up.

The twins were swiftly laid onto stretchers and rushed away to the ICU. Leaving newly disbanded Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad in a small waiting room. It momentarily broke the fear, hearing the good news that Shinjiro had recovered just yesterday. It was a relief, but almost too much of a shock to react to. Akihiko and Mitsuru ran off to check on him, while all the younger members waited to hear about Kotone and Sakuya.

Disbelief hung so heavily in the air that none of them spoke for a long time. It felt painful to even consider aloud the fear simmering in each of their minds. The hospital itself was busy and imposing enough. 

"... No matter how much I think it over, I can’t make sense of what happened." Fuuka was the first to break the silence, her voice a quiet tremble while she wrung her hands on her lap, 
"We beat Nyx a couple months ago… so why…"

"... None of us remembered it all until just yesterday, though, right? At least, that’s my experience." Ken replied as evenly as he could, as eager to understand as Fuuka, "Maybe it has something to do with that. Did anyone remember anything before yesterday?"

No one could answer. Their faces all downturn in silent horror… Sitting in a corner chair, Aigis’ hands trembled.

"Do you think…" Fuuka continued theorizing aloud, "If we had remembered things earlier, maybe we would have noticed something strange with them..? Could we have prevented this..?" 

Aigis opened her mouth to object–only to be interrupted by a chair harshly skidding backward beside her.

"There’s no point talking like that!" Junpei snapped, "We can’t blame ourselves for something we couldn’t control. None of us wanted to forget. Hell, that's why we made the choice to fight in the first place! You think I wanted to forget about Chidori? About everything we went through?"

"Junpei-kun…"  Fuuka sighed.

"Sorry… I can’t just sit here. I’m getting too antsy. I’m gonna go out and check on Koromaru. I have my phone, just… let me know if something happens.."

He tugged down the brim of his hat as he walked away. 

The group was left with Yukari, Fuuka, Ken, and Aigis.

"Fuuka-san," Aigis gently called across empty seats to her friend, "You don’t need to worry about what you would have done. I maintained all of my memories during these last two months. I noticed that both Kotone-san and Sakuya-san were unusually tired, but even I did not predict this outcome."

"So you knew?" Yukari looked up for the first time in hours, her eyes scornful, "All this time, you knew… and you didn’t tell us?"

"Without you remembering the events of the Dark Hour, it would have been impossible to have you believe me. You did not even remember who I was."

"You think that makes it better? You didn’t even try!" Yukari stood up and paced across the waiting room, "And you got to see them both before this happened… you got to talk to them…"

Aigis looked down at her own hands, sinking into herself. Tears streaming silently down her cheeks.

"Yukari-san," Ken spoke up gently, "I don’t think blaming Aigis-san will change anything. The truth is… None of us knew this was coming… And we still don’t know what’s happening now, right? So, it’s possible things can still change for the better."

Amidst this chaos, Ken was remarkably calm and mature for someone his age. It was no surprise, and yet Yukari felt a pit in her stomach watching the youngest among them be so reasonable. Was she mad for his sake, or was this a kind of jealousy…? It all made her sick, no matter what it was. She got up and walked slightly aside to stare blankly out a nearby window, at a painting, the wall, anything other than acknowledging how crazy this was. Fuuka watched her leave, glanced around at who was left… Aigis alone in her chair and Ken, who was standing up with a sad sigh.

"I want to go see Aragaki-san, if I can. I think that’s what they would want me to do, now that they’re settled."

Fuuka was the only one to respond, nodding quietly while she trembled.
Ken let out a small puff of air, taking in the sensation of it amidst the tension. 
"Well then, I’ll be right back."

– – –

"Why the hell won’t they wake up?" Shinjiro snapped with a rasp that he quickly coughed away.  

"I’m sorry. We’re just not sure why ourselves." Mitsuru’s tone walked a thin tightrope between calm and panic.

"Well, get out of here and get some answers. I’m fine. I ain’t going anywhere for a bit."

"Excuse me—"

The room paused as Ken Amada slowly entered. Shinjiro’s jaw unclenched slightly while looking at him. 

"Sakuya-san and Kotone-san are being evaluated right now. It might be a while before we know anything. I just passed their room, and it looked like a lot of doctors were going in and out."

Didn’t seem like a very good sign. 

"Thank you, Amada. Are the others still in the waiting room?"

"Yes. Well, Junpei-san stepped out to check on Koromaru… and everyone else is, well… They’re… in the same room." Amada’s tone was strained.

"Understood. I’ll go check in with everyone now, then," Mitsuru nodded to Aragaki before stepping out. By the time he gave a nod back, she was already halfway out the door.

"I’ll come with you." Akihiko called after her, "Shinji, I’ll be back. I’m… I’m really glad you’re here."

"Yeah, yeah. Go." He shooed Aki away. 

The graduating members walked out, while Ken stayed behind, looming by the door. The heavy silence between them seemed to mute the room of whirring and beeping of medical devices. Ken looked strangely taller than last time Shinji saw him, like he'd been stretched out. Must have hit a growth spurt while he was out. Good. Must mean he’s pretty healthy. Shinjiro took the comfort where he could get it. 

Ken stayed quietly at the doorway, half looking at Shinjiro and half looking at his feet. 

"… hey." Shinjiro finally began, "you don’t need to check on me, you know? If you’d rather be with the others—"

"I chose to come see you. I wanted to see you." His reply instant, there was a defensiveness to his tone that Shinjiro didn’t understand. 

"… okay. Well, come on then. Stop… stop standing by the door—you’re freaking me out."

"R-right! Sorry…" Ken walked in and took a seat by Shinjiro’s bed, "so… are you going to be okay?"

"That’s what the doc says." He shrugged. Shinjiro still wasn’t sure if he believed it. 
Ken went silent again, nodding to himself. What was this kid thinking? 
"… sorry to disappoint." Shinjiro shrugged again.

"No! That’s not… I’m sorry. I…" Ken tsked and tapped his foot on the ground, put off by himself in some way. 

Shinjiro gave Ken time to collect his thoughts as he watched the boy, head downturned, subtly mouth words to some unwritten script. A mop of brown hair obscuring his eyes. Seemed like he had a lot going on in his head,

"… I… I thought about what you said." He finally said, looking back up with resolve,
"While you were gone, I did a lot of thinking. And I…"
Ken clutched the hem of his shorts while he spoke, stammering the words with a frustrated determination. 

Shinjiro’s throat became tight. 

"I just… Aragaki-san I’m so—"

"Aki said you were there at the final battle."

"Huh?" Ken looked back up in confusion, but Shinjiro continued.

"He said you did good."

"I… he did?"

"Mm," Shinjiro nodded, "must’ve gotten real strong."

… Ken smiled a little. 

"… I’m just glad you’re okay. Alright? I don’t need anything else."

"But because of me—"

"Don’t." He shook his head with severity, "Don’t do that. I don’t need it. Look. I'm still here, okay? So, it’s no harm. Not like you were the one who—"

"That’s just making excuses!" Ken stood up and walked closer to Shinjiro’s side. "You were right about me. I was so caught up in my anger… I was willing to cause all sorts of trouble for the others, just to make things feel more fair to me."

"I never said any of all that." Shinjiro raised an eyebrow, "… I forget what I said, but it wasn’t that."

"You said I would end up like you. At the time, I didn’t want to hear it… but now, I understand what you meant."

"Tch." 

"Even though it wasn’t me who put you here… If things had gone my way that night, it wouldn’t have healed any of the hurt between us… it just would have been more pain transferred to the others. I was selfish and weaker than I even realized. I understand that now. Maybe you don’t want to hear it, but I just have to tell you… I am sorry. "

Shinjiro stayed quiet for another beat and took in Ken’s words. Tried to, at least. An apology from him felt all wrong.

"… you done?"

"… yes, I think I’m done." Ken looked at his feet after barely nodding. 

"Okay… Jeez… you really did a lot of growing up while I was taking a nap." 
He worked his lips up into a very weak smirk at the kid, who slowly smiled back.
"I’m no good with words. Especially today… but… ugh, what a mess.."

"No kidding," Ken chuckled sadly. 

"… lot’s going on. But I’m kinda stuck here for a bit. If you have more to say—come see me, and I’ll listen."

"Right," Ken nodded, "I will. There’s a lot I want to talk to you about."

"… I’ll… try to have more to say by then."

"Sure. But it’s okay. I think I understand."

"Heh… why don’t you go with the others? Throat’s gettin’ kinda tired…"

"Alright, but we’ll be back. Everyone is really glad you’re okay. Our leaders will be too, when they wake up."

Ken smiled and waved goodbye as he stepped back out into the hallway and left Shinjiro alone with his thoughts. 

– – –

Ken walked back through the hallways, following the landmarks he had noted to lead him back to the group. His heart thumped harder in his chest with every step closer, though he tried to ignore whatever worries could have been causing it. When he caught sight of the others, a cold stab of fear hit his chest. Each one of his friends were hunched over or looking away with differing expressions of disbelief and anguish.

Ken rushed over, his trainers squeaking against the linoleum floor.

"What’s going on?"

Some of them looked down at him, but everyone struggled to speak. Their faces looked pale.

"What happened??"

"...The doctor just came by." Mitsuru explained, "He says that… Kotone is stable, for now. But Sakuya…" 
she carried the burden of explaining, her trembling voice a far cry from her usual poise.  
"He’s passed. He… Won’t be waking up."

Chapter Text

Kotone Shiomi laid silently in the same hospital room she had been for a little over a week now. She was stable enough that she didn’t need ventilators to assist her breathing, which was reassuring in some ways. Each rise and fall of her chest proof positive of the life still within her.

Today was the first day Shinjiro had taken the walk to her room during visiting hours. He could have come with the group a couple times— but he avoided the crowd to focus on his own recovery until he could make the trip on his own. It took him close to 20 minutes just to walk from his room to hers with the help of a cane taking on a majority of the body weight his legs couldn’t handle. It was another relief to his aching legs to take a seat next to her bed. His heart was pounding as if he’d run a mile, not walked sixty steps to another room.

"... Well, hey," he murmured gently, grunting as he settled in, "Finally made it here."

He sat and looked at her for a moment. Auburn hair tousled around her shoulders, pretty different from the tight updo he was used to seeing. Quiet, breathing slow, long lashes laid closed against her cheeks. If he didn’t know better, he’d say she looked like she was sleeping peacefully. It was awkward to watch her– it felt invasive. Did anyone feel this strange visiting him 5 months ago? He definitely felt strange thinking about it.

"... Sorry it took me a while to come see ya. Wanted to be able to walk on my own before I did… Kinda helped me stay motivated in physical therapy. It’s not fun. Got more to do before they’ll let me leave. You better hope you don’t have to do all this when you wake up."

She laid silent, unresponsive to his voice. This was already more talking than he was used to, even on a good day, but he pushed through. If Kotone were awake, surely she’d want to know everything he’d been up to.
She was always nosey like that.
"Doc says I’m doing good, though. Keeps talking to me like I have a whole life to look forward to. Like I should be excited… I guess you probably would be, if you knew. I think…"

He looked over at her, hopelessly waiting for her to sit up and laugh like this was all a weird mistake. Aware of the idiocy of hoping with each moment, he watched her. Breathing in. Breathing out. Alive.

"Everyone’s come by to visit us here and there. They’re all busy with the new school year starting soon, and Mitsuru and Akihiko going to college. Plus the… arrangements."

…

She’s alive. She’s right here. She’ll be okay.

"I’ve heard a bit of everything that’s happened from everyone… About Ikutsuki being a freak, and how bad and crazy things got before the final fight. Junpei talked my ear off about that Chidori girl." He scoffed, "… Bet you’ll have the best stories, though."

He’d give anything just to hear what the new tennis team gossip was. How she’d been filling her days, and what strange friends she was making. But she was still. Almost frozen. Shinjiro became a bit disturbed by it and focused on the scenery outside the window instead of her motionless body.

The trees were so full and pink. The branches rustled in the breeze, raining pale petals onto the grass and concrete. Large fluffy clouds in the distance as the blue sky slowly turned golden in the setting sun. A day like this was just so her. So full of promise and light.
She should be here.

"… Hey. Kotone."

A heart monitor beeped in steady time. Mocked by the sound, he clenched his fist—something he’d only recently gotten a good handle on in physical therapy.

"… just wake up already, huh?"

If he closed his eyes, he could almost hear her breathing. He followed the sound.
In… Out… In… out…
In some strange way, that calmed him down. He tsked at himself.

"I know. It’s rich coming from me."

He sighed and ground the rubber tip of his cane into the linoleum.

"Is this your idea of payback? It’s pretty twisted, you know?"
He chuckled, but then felt a thickness in his throat that he had to stammer down with a tight cough. He took another deep breath.

"… anyway… you’re going to miss third year. Thought you and your brother were all about that, huh?"

He cringed at himself and was, for once, glad that Kotone wasn’t conscious to hear that remark. Sakuya. Everyone was still in shock over losing him. Still tense, occasionally biting each other’s heads off over small things. Still planning his funeral, which would have to happen without her soon. She would likely miss it, even if she woke up tomorrow.

"… It’ll be hard to keep going without him. We’re all… we’re all gonna have to go through it in our own way."

He clenched his teeth. The way his loss was tearing everyone apart—She’d be sad to see it.
"But… hey, if you come back… if you wake up…"

Shinjiro took hold of his chair under him and dragged it across the floor to sit at Kotone’s bedside.

"You won’t be alone… okay? Kotone. If you wake up, I promise that… we’re all gonna be there."

Her hand laid palm down against the bed… can you touch people when they’re in this state? He didn’t much like the idea that anyone would have touched him over the months he was out. No matter what, it felt weird.

… Unless she’d done that. If she had ever visited, and took his hand… That wasn’t something that bothered him so much.
He hoped she didn’t–Hoped she moved on with her life and focused on herself and the others, not him. But he didn’t mind it. Maybe even liked the idea a little. He remembered her stubborn confession still. Those three words she said, over and over. Convinced he’d heard them again and again in his dreams. All the long talks, the meals. Her outbursts, crying and laughing, dancing around and fighting. She haunted him. Something happened between the two of them that Shinjiro hadn’t even believed in before. And he never even said it back.

He took her hand. Gingerly, cupping it between both his own, and pleading in a low, soft tone.
"If you just wake up, I’ll go to school with you… Okay? I’ll… I’ll be there. Making sure you stay outta trouble and… eat good meals."

He could imagine she might laugh at that. He remembered the warm tone of it, and how the sound bubbled proudly from her chest, no matter what he said. A twinkle in her eye, as if she’d already had him figured out. He imagined the wrinkle of her nose and chuckled ruefully. He tried to be careful of the tubes connected to her arm, but gently squeezed her hand.
"You hear that..? You win, got it? I’ll try to finish this last year of school. But… you better take responsibility and be there with me. I…"

He looked up at her face and stroked a thumb across her knuckles.
"I don’t want to go through this without you… Kotone."

Some deeply unpleasant feeling in his ribs seemed to disentangle once it was all out there.
And hey, maybe she heard it. Somehow. Please, hear it.

He let go of her hand and stood up slowly. Time to go.

"Well… a watched pot doesn’t boil, I guess."

He cringed and rubbed his furrowed brow between his thumb and forefinger.

"Ugh, forget this whole conversation happened. Just wake up… we’re all waiting for you. Okay?"

Hues of orange and pink filled the room as the sun set deeper. Kotone’s face was lit by golden sunlight. Shinjiro sucked in another deep breath… And let it go.

"See you soon."

Chapter Text

“Well done Aragaki-San. You’ve been progressing nicely.”

Shinjiro drank some water while his physical therapist explained in more detail how his mobility and strength had improved recently. It was true that his reaction time was faster, and his mind felt less and less foggy all the time. Today was April 1st. He’d been at these exercises for almost a month now, and beginning to feel almost normal. Almost.

“If you can manage to keep this pace, we might be able to discharge you soon. I’m sure you’d like to get out of here and move forward with your life.”

Shinjiro nodded—he was getting stir-crazy in this damn place. All the noise and that sanitized smell. No privacy, yet still so damn isolating. Not to mention a lack of appetite that he absolutely blamed on the bland, uninspired hospital food. He yearned for real food. Salt and fat and oil and spice. Comforting, filling food that left him satisfied and warm.
Once he got out of here, he hoped he could still remember how to hold a damn skillet. If there was any kitchen for him to use, anyway. Today was the day the others were set to move out of the dorm, so he couldn’t stay there anymore. He didn’t have any savings, so he wasn’t sure where he could stay.

He stupidly had promised Kotone he’d go back to school, but had no plan beyond that. Even if she wasn’t conscious of it, he’d still keep the promise if he could. He’d find a way. Later.
Getting well enough to get out of here was his first priority. He had to get out of here.

After wrapping up in physical therapy, Shinjiro was returned to his hospital room. While walking through the overly-familiar hallway he overheard a couple older nurses chatting about the high school girl who had finally woken up this morning. His ears perked to attention and he caught the name.

Shiomi.

She was awake..?

Shinjiro went through the motions of being dropped off in his cramped hospital room until he was at last left alone… He waited very briefly before heel-turning and starting the walk to where he knew she’d been staying. Would he really get to see her again? Right now? His feet moved as if on their own, strides much quicker than the first visit. Would they let him in? He gained pace until he was half-jogging. Would she want him there? How was she?

Once outside her room, he had to lean on the wall to catch his breath. Stupid. What was he even doing rushing over so fast? They may not even let him see her.. Maybe he should’ve waited for a better time… When he leaned closer to the door, he could hear some other doctor speaking.

He glanced around furtively, unsure whether to wait and see or take himself back to his room with his tail between his legs.
Before he’d made a decision, the door rattled open, and the doctor stared at him for a painfully awkward moment.

“Ah. That’s right.” The doctor chuckled in realization, “you’re one of her friends, aren’t you? Shiomi-san, you have a visitor. Would you like to see him?”

Shinjiro couldn’t see or hear her from outside the room, but she must have nodded or something, because the doctor stepped aside and allowed him in.

And there she was. Sitting upright. Eyes wide open, looking him over. If he had to guess, he would say her look of shock mirrored his own. Two ghosts. Despite everything, they lived to see each other again.

He stepped in quietly and walked closer to the foot of her bed.
Both looking each other over in awed silence. Expressions of confusion, pain and overwhelming gratitude exchanged in quick succession. Kotone’s lips parted in a small, breathy sigh of relief. And she smiled at him.

He nodded back at her, trying to return the expression with his own very awkward smile. He couldn’t remember if he had tried smiling since waking up. Felt like the corners didn’t lift right. She had the cheek to chuckle at his face. This girl. He scoffed. Laughing at him at a time like this.
Clearing his throat slightly, he inhaled and—

“Kotone!!”

Shinjiro staggered all the way to the back of the room as all the members of S.E.E.S. rushed in one by one. Junpei leading the pack at a skidding sprint. He was grinning wide, but his voice trembled beneath the surface.

“Man, are we glad to see you up! You had us worried, dude!”

Yukari charged up front right beside him to be close to Kotone while Fuuka sniffled gratefully as she rushed in just behind them. Aigis stood close by at the other side of the bed along with Akihiko and Mitsuru. At the foot, just a bit in front of him, Ken was so relieved he was practically shaking, the bouquet of flowers in his arms rustling slightly. At that moment, Shinjiro realized he was trembling too.

“Worried doesn’t even describe it..!” he heard Yukari blubber slightly behind a smile,“How are you? Feeling alright?”

Kotone blinked, her eyes darting between everyone. Her lips turned up at the corners, but Shinjiro noticed that her eyes were glassy. She didn’t speak, but nodded to confirm that she was alright.

“We are all so relieved to see you again.” Aigis smiled, she took a tissue from the nearby side table. She leaned in to oh-so gently dab away Kotone’s burgeoning tears. Aigis did always seem fixated on the twins, but Shinjiro didn’t remember her being able to smile quite like that—so warm and full of kindness. She looked almost entirely human right now, as he watched her care for Kotone.

“You’ve got weird timing though, Koto-tan” Junpei tsked humorously, “We were all moving dorms when the doctor called! You wouldn’t believe the kind of day we had before this.”

“Feels like we’re all waking up from a very long nightmare…” Fuuka smiled tearfully.

The room buzzed with chatter that Shinjiro struggled to keep up with. Difficult emotions wrapped loosely in sarcastic jokes. The group all presumably called back to events he’d never lived out. Weird shit that couldn’t have been believed unless Shinjiro himself had seen his own fair share of the otherworldly. His chest tightened. He thought he might sneak out just to take a moment and lessen the crowd. She was okay. Surrounded by friends that loved her. That was good enough. He could visit her again later. Before he could attempt his exit, Mitsuru stopped him gently.

“Aragaki, would you mind please staying for a short while? When things calm down, there’s a matter I’d like to discuss with you and Shiomi.”
He frowned, fighting the instinctual urge to brush her off and just go back to his room. But whatever it was, it was probably important. So he nodded, swallowing nerves.

Kotone still hadn’t spoken yet, but she was smiling and focusing her glances at everyone equally. Whenever her eyes met Shinjiro’s, he thought he might have a heart attack. He’d spent so much time now thinking about what it would mean to face her again. Now that it was true, he couldn’t believe it. It was too good to be real. And… There were too many people right now. At a certain point, he kept his eyes trained outside instead while the conversation continued.

“So, this means Kotone will be coming back to school with us, doesn’t it?
Yukari wiped away happy tears and chuckled with gratitude, “How soon? School starts up next week, so…”

“I’m sure the doctors will want to watch over her a little longer, just as they have with Aragaki.” Mitsuru, of course, made sure to be realistic, while celebratory in her own way, “Hopefully not long. I wouldn’t want you to miss out on too much, Shiomi. Every moment is crucial in third year.”

“She may miss a couple weeks to start, but she'll catch-up.” Akihiko smiled confidently,
“It's Kotone, after all.”

“I’ll need to make sure Aigis and Shiomi are enrolled for the coming year… I hope my alma mater status will be enough to pull some strings, even though I’m not connected to Gekkou anymore.” Mitsuru smiled, even as she seemed to worry.
Then, she turned towards him again, “By the way, Aragaki…”,
pretty sure he knew where this was going.
“I know what you said before, but-”

“Save it.” Shinjiro managed another lopsided smile, raising a hand before she could finish her spiel, “The paperwork is signed in my old dorm. If it’s gone, I’ll sign it again. I’m going back to school.”

The room gasped and exploded with delight that he’d be returning to Gekkou. All the attention coming at him so suddenly made Shinjiro’s chest feel tighter still. He found his focus on Kotone, who was smiling right at him, and that made it worth it. The promise was for her anyway. He’d hoped it would make her happy. He tried on that smile for her again. It was a little easier to do every time.

“Very well,” Mitsuru’s satisfaction was barely contained, “I will make preparations for the three of you right away.”

Several more beats of animated chatter about the upcoming school year and living arrangements passed—but Kotone was still silent despite being asked a few questions by now...

“Hey, come on girl,” Junpei chuckled eventually and nudged Kotone’s shoulder “Say something! What’s up, huh? Feeling excited to get outta here?”

She shrugged, and swallowed… and shrugged again, her hands folded at her lap. She opened her mouth a couple times, but nothing came out. Her smile began to look a little frantic, as if she truly couldn’t find the words. Through expression alone, Shinji knew her memories were intact, at least the feelings behind them were clear.

“Talkin’s hard when you first wake up.” He said simply, and nodded at her in reassurance, “No reason to rush. Take your time.”

He’d said it in such a way that the room couldn’t argue. Yet, still a strange silence filled the space, waiting for her. Eager for confirmation that she was okay.

“W-well… Kotone-san,” Ken tried to break the silence before it became too much,
“If there’s anything you want to know, or anything you need at all… Just let us know somehow, okay? We’re all here for you.” The others all hummed in agreement.

They all saw Kotone’s smile crack as she looked at her lap and seemed to think with great difficulty. She opened her mouth to speak, but stopped short of any sound escaping her throat. Her still-weeping eyes flooded with larger, almost monstrous tears, and the smile she had on turned into a grimace. The whole room went deathly silent as Kotone let out a single, horrible, retching sob. Watching, stunned as she crumbled into herself.

Shoes squeaked in the hallway while hushed conversations continued uncaring outside.
Rhythmic beeping separated the sound of her gasps and bellows.

“… Sakuya..!”

The floor sank out from all of them. Whatever acceptance that had been built up was ripped down one shriveled sob at a time.
No one needed to say it for her to know that her brother was gone, but maybe they should have. Now that they were here, it felt so foolish to have ignored it until this moment. Talking and laughing, and making plans, but never saying his name. As if they could avoid the inevitable. How selfish. How idiotic of all of them. Shinjiro bit the inside of his cheek.

Yukari leaned in and hugged her from the side.
“Kotone… I-I’m so sorry…” she tried to stop herself from crumbling with her, but she struggled, her voice weak and her eyes wet.

For the others too, the wounds of trauma and grief had completely reopened. Shinjiro’s ribs felt tight, and he restrained a cough crawling up his throat. He focused on the rest of the group, all seeming to close in on Kotone in slow motion while she sunk into herself. While he stood there like a dumbass. He felt like he was hardly here, or shouldn’t be, or should be someone else. If he could give himself up to bring her brother back, he would. In a second. He shut his eyes tight and saw the vision of a better ending here, and practically wished for it.

But this was the way things turned out. He couldn't do a damn thing about it.

“This must be very overwhelming for her.” Mitsuru’s severe, but calming voice stopped all of their thoughts, “All of us here at the same time... Perhaps we should disperse for now.”

“Mitsuru’s right. We shouldn’t all crowd her, guys.”
Akihiko nodded Kotone’s way, smiling calmly despite her tears.
“We’ll have plenty of time now. She’s not going anywhere.”

“No, she’s sticking with us.” Yukari hugged her even tighter, and the others agreed.
Shinjiro nodded with them, as desperate as any of them to keep her.

Everyone slowly shuffled out. A couple of them waved at Kotone with encouraging smiles, or left her with small affirmations. Aigis, who hadn’t moved an inch since she had arrived at Kotone’s bedside, practically had to be dragged out by Yukari, which had inadvertently lightened the mood a bit.

Shinjiro stayed behind, as he had agreed to do.

Mitsuru, Akihiko and himself were the only ones that remained while Kotone still tried to compose herself. Hiccuping and wiping her eyes, desperately taking air in and struggling to hold it. He thought to sit next to her, now that the room was a bit less crowded– but before he could, Akihiko pulled up a seat next to Kotone and took her hand in his own— bewildering Shinjiro. He’d never seen his childhood friend do anything like that before.

“Hey, Kotone.” Akihiko pulled up a small bag he'd been holding and from it pulled out a small brown bunny plush, “Remember this? I still think this little bunny looks just like you, haha. I thought… maybe it’d be comforting to have a familiar friend with you.”

Akihiko hopped the rabbit across her lap gently. Kotone looked down at the cute little thing… It seemed like she almost didn’t want to, but she let out a wet chuckle between sobs. She nodded at Akihiko and gently took the plush, stroking her thumbs anxiously over the soft fur. Her breath hitched again and again, fighting for each deep inhale, hold, exhale. Akihiko put an arm around her shoulder, sat on the very edge of her bed, breathing with her, nodding encouragingly. Tragedy surrounded them in this stifling hospital room, and still, there was a glow around them. He was this strong handsome guy, and she was beautiful and brave. The visual could have been described as picturesque. Shinjiro held his breath unconsciously.

“Kotone, you’re not alone,” Akihiko told her with ease, and held her tightly,
“Starting now, we won’t be apart…”

Shinjiro swallowed a thick feeling in his throat. Seemed like he’d missed more than he had even expected. Kotone visibly settled, resting her head on his best friend’s shoulder. Despite how he felt, it was good to see her comforted…

When Mitsuru spoke, Shinjiro was happy to listen.

“Aragaki… Shiomi… Let me begin by apologizing for everything you’ve been put through. I feel indebted to the both of you in ways that feel incalculable. I know the transition back into your normal daily lives won’t be easy for either of you. That being said, I intend to use all the resources I have as a Kirijo to take responsibility moving forward.”

“… huh?” Shinji raised an eyebrow at that, glancing and seeing gentler, but similar confusion in Kotone’s expression,
“you’re… taking responsibility? What the hell?”

Chapter Text

“Really, I’ll be okay!” Kotone stretched out her shoulders and neck after bringing in one last box of things, “I’m glad you two and the movers were here to bring in the furniture. I can handle the unpacking. ”

Boxes were stacked high in a humble studio apartment that now belonged to her. Kotone stood with Akihiko and Mitsuru in her living/dining/kitchen area surrounded by new furniture, empty shelves and barren walls. A blank slate, ready to be filled… for at least a year.

“I’m sure having time alone to unpack all of your things one by one will feel very relaxing...” Mitsuru pressed her lips together in thought, nodding to herself as she inspected Kotone’s new apartment with a careful eye, making sure it was all up to her exacting standards.

Mitsuru and Akihiko had been helping move and build new furniture with Kotone all day. It was a quick turnaround, from leaving the hospital to arriving at the apartment with movers already working. In a matter of a few hours, she was replanted here with just about anything she could need or want. A soft-pink loveseat and simple coffee table faced her kitchenette, loaded up with all new pale pink cooking supplies. Her bedroom was set up similarly to her old dorm with the bed in a corner and a desk in front of the window. Everything was so cute and new. When Mitsuru offered to help her with housing for the next year, she hadn’t expected to be so spoiled.

“The place looks nice,” Akihiko looked around at his handiwork with pride while stretching out his arms, “you might have a little more space than I have at university.”

Kotone watched as Akihiko put away a few tools he’d brought, feeling warm in her chest. He’d been amazing since the moment she’d woken up. Always a shoulder to cry on, never letting her stew in her heartache. And especially today. He’d helped the movers carry and build furniture like a pro! It was terribly cute, watching him so proudly use his strength to help out. His energy lifted her spirits, and she dreaded having to let him go. But it was getting late. A line of light and shadow from a small window slowly shifted across her small kitchen table as the sun set.

“Wow, university… You guys really are going.”

“Yes. And I’m afraid we’ll need to leave soon. School starts tomorrow for all of us.”
Mitsuru replied with a bit of sadness. Kotone took a deep breath and held it, not eager to spend a night alone.
But in the end, she put on a smile. What else could she do?

“School tomorrow… Right. Well, Mitsuru-senpai—” she bowed her head, “Thank you very much for all this. The apartment, the furniture, all of it… it’s too kind. How could I ever repay—”

“No, please. No thanks necessary. Thank you for allowing me to… For the chance to…”
Mitsuru twirled a prominent red curl in front of her face and tucked it behind her shoulder,
“Shiomi… just knowing you are safe… is priceless to me, and all of us.”

Kotone felt hot under the warmth of all her protective affection. Flattered, and grateful, but her chest ached when she looked at the sadness behind Mitsuru’s eyes. She could hear her brother’s name on both of their minds. How priceless it would be if he could be here too… if only he were still here...

A wet sting hit the back of her eyes, but she swallowed and held it in. She still thought about everyone standing around her hospital bed with fresh faces of total horror that day she woke up and melted down. It wasn’t worth it to keep tearing open healing wounds when so much time had already passed. When what was done was done, and the world was moving forward. She needed to move forward too.

“… I’m gonna be just fine!” she assured again, “I’m basically all set up here, and I still know how to get to school tomorrow. I’m even closer to the station than last year.”

“Hey, do me a favor and make sure Shinji’s a good boy and goes to school too.”
Akihiko smirked, enjoying a silly kind of superiority, knowing his best friend was technically his junior now. “He’s got no excuse now.”

“Hah, right…” She chuckled, “I’ll keep him in line.”

Aragaki. The two of them hadn’t spoken much yet. Between getting released from the hospital and coordinating plans, there had been very little time to discuss anything that wasn’t this move…

The last time it was just the two of them… well.
A lot had changed since that night.

There was so much she wanted to tell him.

---

Shinjiro never really kept a lot of things. He preferred the steady company of a few useful items he felt sentimental towards. And even those things, he’d given away back when he thought he was going to die. Now that he was alive, he had next to nothing. Just a small, half-empty box Akihiko had given him from the old dorms and a plastic bag of his things from the hospital.

He was wearing normal clothes again, finally. Black trousers and turtleneck. His old coat was toast and his hat seemed to be missing. Still, it felt good to be in some of his own clothing again. And the weather was nice today. He felt… Well. He didn’t feel the same chill down to his bones as he had felt five months ago that had made his coat so necessary.

And now, what a change. Standing in an empty apartment, holding his only possessions in the world. Well, almost–he rolled his eyes at his fancy, new, dressed bed. A simple enough bed frame, but he could tell that the mattress was completely new and that no expense had been spared on it, nor the annoyingly decadently soft sheets and bedcovering…

Friggin’ Mitsuru.

Shinjiro knew if he accepted her offer to help house him through third year, she’d keep trying to help one step further. First it was just the apartment, then she insisted on getting him a nice bed, then talked about filling the whole damn apartment with furniture.

He had to shut her down before it got out of hand. It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate the sentiment, but it was way too overwhelming to have all this new shit he didn’t even pay for. He’d much rather find old, sturdy furniture left out somewhere or in a thrift store. Stuff he could relate to more. It took a lot of mindless reassurance, but eventually Shinjiro convinced Mitsuru to stop the furnishing at getting him a new bed. That would have been a hassle to get anyway. At least he’d be sleeping comfortably…

He placed the small cardboard box and plastic bag onto the bed and, one by one, unpacked his things and put them in the most suitable places for now.

A couple other outfits, folded well. Including his fresh school uniform. Woo.
Some cooking magazines. Recipe pages dog-eared.
A small notepad with his physical therapy exercises written down, plus upcoming appointments.
Silver pocket watch, broken as hell.

He swung the chain and tossed the familiar lump of metal into his palm, trying and failing to fiddle open and close the latch as he usually would. The bullet had bore a hole through the exterior and shattered the face. The bezel buckled and rippled on one side. Obviously, it didn’t work anymore, just a fancy paperweight at this point. It was a wonder it was still in one piece at all. With a sigh, Shinjiro pocketed the useless thing still.

When he stepped out of his bedroom and into the main area/kitchen space, he took a quiet look around at what was now “his” for the year. A small kitchenette and a dining space barely fit for two. Good thing he didn’t expect to have company. At least the appliances all seemed to work. He could go grocery shopping soon and cook himself some dinner… prep some lunches for school.

School. Getting healthy. Working, and living again. This time, with no clear end in sight… Not what he’d planned for, but he knew to be grateful. He had to be.
Each step he made echoed in the empty white studio apartment and rang through his ears.
He had to get out of here.

Shinji stepped out onto a second-floor landing belonging to the single-loaded block of flats he now had to call home. Not much of a view between all the taller buildings around, but there were some nice trees. He took a deep breath of that ocean air and let it sit in his chest.

“Oh, Senpai!”

His heart jumped.

“Ko–” he turned quickly to see Akihiko, Mitsuru and Kotone all stepping out of her apartment, which was right next door to his.
“Shiomi.”

“We were just coming to check on you.” She smiled at him, looking into his eyes with a familiar curiosity.

“I’m good. The bed’s good. Thanks, Kirijo.”

“Are you absolutely sure you don’t need anything else? It wouldn’t be trouble.” Mitsuru replied.

“I’ve got it from here.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets,
“I’ll be able to handle myself.”

“Cool as always,” Akihiko grinned and gave Shinjiro a playful whack on the shoulder, which reverberated throughout his whole body unpleasantly.

“Don’t hit me. I’m out of friggin’ shape.” Muscle memory made him deliver a much, much weaker punch to Aki’s shoulder. Akihiko still laughed like he was a kid sometimes.

“Next time I see you, Shinji, I better see some of that strength back!” Shadowboxing, with his eyes glinting at him. Made him tired just to watch.

“What’s the point? Ain't fighting shadows anymore.”

“So you’ll just go ahead and let me be the strongest, huh?”

“Sure, meathead. Title's all yours.”

“Hey, now.” Akihiko frowned a little, “Shinji, seriously. You gotta regain some mass. And move your body at least enough to keep your energy.”

“Quit fussin’. It’s embarrassing when you do it. I’m gonna be fine.”
He looked away and rubbed his shoulder. He heard Akihiko sigh and, thankfully, he dropped the subject.

“Well, I wish we could stick around, but–”

“You’ve got better things to do than babysit me.”

“True.” he chuckled and almost hit him again, but this time Shinji was fast enough to catch his fist. They both smirked at each other and Shinji tossed Aki’s fist back at him.

“Get outta here, Aki.”

Akihiko nodded, satisfied, and moved his goodbyes to Kotone. Shinjiro held his breath.
Right.

Aki pulled Kotone aside, whispering something to her that made her smile, and they walked a bit away into the parking lot below. Shinjiro was curious, but his focus was divided between them and Mitsuru’s final words to him. She said something to him about future doctor’s appointments, what he should do first when he got to school, and staying in touch. All things he knew already, dammit…

While glancing slightly over Mitusuru’s shoulder, he was able to see a bit of Aki and Kotone’s conversation…
They talked softly to each other, their eyes locked. After a few words, they embraced, and to top it all off, Akihiko pressed a kiss onto Kotone’s forehead. Woah. Alright.
So when did that start happening?

“Aragaki?”

Shinjiro blinked and looked back at Mitsuru, staring at him inquisitively, as if she’d just asked a question, or said something important. Shaking his head, he apologized and asked her to repeat herself.

She sighed, “I know you have a lot of pride about moving forward on your own. Please understand that I respect that, and yet… And yet…”

He raised an eyebrow and faced her more properly, a little guilty he’d been snooping on his friends instead of paying attention to the one in front of him.

She shook her head and swung her hair behind her shoulder confidently,
“Should anything happen to you without us knowing again, I just wouldn’t be able to live with myself, no matter what you say.”

Yeesh. He had that coming. It was embarrassing that he couldn't've just died when he was supposed to. Now everyone had regrets and words unsaid to express to him all the time, which made him feel awkward and unsure what to say. Feeling less human, more sentient gravestone. He wondered when he’d have a conversation that didn’t feel like it carried the weight of the world on it.

“I won’t go off and disappear again. I’ll go to the doctor when asked, or needed. I will call you if I need you. You know I’m good on my word, alright?”

“... Right. I do know that.” she nodded, seeming to accept that with a content smile.
“Well then, we'll be off.”

---

Shinjiro and Kotone waved goodbye to Akihiko and Mitsuru as they drove away, standing in the newness of everything with a bit of disbelief. It wasn’t exactly their reunion, but it was the first time in a very long time that they’d been alone. There was so much to say… Some of it, Kotone wasn’t even sure she should say anymore.

As soon as the car drove out of sight, they looked at each other.
…What now?

“... Hungry?” he shrugged.

“Always.” she replied, already walking towards the station with him.

---

“… You sound good. Talkin’ more.” Shinjiro commented after a bit of quiet walking.

The previous week since she’d woken up, she had hardly said a word aside from her brother’s name that one time. Shinjiro could still hear her shredded voice sob out Sakuya’s name if he thought about it too hard.

“Hm? Oh yeah. Totally better now!”
She nodded vigorously. He wondered how true that was, but her smile seemed convincing enough, “Sorry if I worried you before.”

Shinji could only shake his head, rejecting the concept of an apology for such a silly thing.
“Just nice to hear ya, that’s all. Seems like you got your energy back already too. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised you’d bounce back quickly.”

“Heh,” She wore a victorious grin, “Can’t keep me down.”

He shook his head, amazed. Supergirl over here was indestructible. He felt like a flimsy house of cards, but he’d try to keep up.

---

The moment they stepped into the ramen shop Hagakure, the smell of braised pork belly wafted into their noses, along with the warmth and depth of hearty broth. Kotone’s stomach growled and moaned like it might reach right out of her for food.
An air of intensity followed Shinjiro as he walked directly towards an empty seat at the bar. Kotone had to quicken her pace a bit to catch up with him.

“Two specials.” He called out right away, a wide look in eyes like he was now finally alive. Like this moment was all he had been waiting for. It was a little funny to watch. Kotone tried not to laugh as she settled into a seat next to him.

“You seem excited,” she gave in and chuckled, reminded of Koromaru as she watched him sit facing the kitchen, patient but eager. Shinjiro nodded severely.

He looked different. A lot slimmer, almost frail. And without his bulky coat and beanie, he looked sort of exposed. Still, sitting here like this felt nostalgic in a way that made Kotone choke up on instinct. She’d come to Hagekure or Wakatsu plenty of times in the past, thinking back on old conversations with Shinjiro and wishing she could speak to him again. Now she could. She could easily talk to him about anything if she could just put it into words.

Shinjiro’s gaze turned from the other side of the bar, to her. Once he raised an eyebrow, she realized she had been staring at him for a long time. Ah, she should speak. Think, quick.

“... This is so weird,” Kotone admitted with a strange laugh.

“Yeah? Weird, huh.” he settled in a bit, still looking at her.

“It feels like a dream. Or a miracle. Talking to you, being here at all. I-I mean. For a while there, it really seemed like you…”

The blood on the pavement was still as clear in her mind as the day it happened. The unreal, sinking feeling of total helplessness. His unfair last words to her.

‘Kotone… don’t cry… this is how it should be.’

Of course, she did cry. She cried every day for months, alone in her bedroom, unable to tell the others just what had happened between them. Their swift, complicated, intense would-be-romance.

Any relief that she could stop grieving Shinjiro now was met with a reminder that she was now grieving her brother instead. A horribly familiar empty feeling sat in her chest and took root, the words fading away from her again. She tried to grab them from the air and present them to Shinjiro as quickly as she could, before they disappeared.

“... I thought we’d never get to speak again, when for so long that’s all I wanted to do…” she stammered slightly, “It's like in the hospital. I had plenty I wanted to say, but I was so… backed up with words and feelings, it's like–I-I can’t even start.”

---

A not-insignificant part of Shinjiro still believed that he should have died that night. The others had all changed and moved on. What else was he supposed to do? What other purpose was his life supposed to serve? What right did he have to keep going?
And there was that look again. In her eyes. That look of grief and overbearing gratitude. These heavy conversations. The looming regret, regret, regret. All anyone could do around him was regret. Even her. He sighed, and she did too.

Their bowls were dropped off, but this conversation was stifling his appetite.

“Well… start with after I died.” he asked as casually as he could, picking up the chopsticks and propping himself up.

“Senpai!” A burst of shocked laughter blew past her lips and he let out an amused huff. At least saying that made her stop looking so damn dire. It would be hard to eat with her looking like that. His food looked and smelled incredible, and he was still starving. He was gonna enjoy this, dammit.

“Bring me up to speed, huh? … How’s Rio? Did she go on that group date? I was wondering.”

“... You were wondering about my tennis gossip..? Of all things?” She chuckled, disbelieving.

“Yeah. I kinda was. Lot of time to think about the mundane shit you miss when you’re cooped up in a hospital.”

She looked at him like he’d grown a second head, but soon enough an eased, amused smile warmed the edges of her anxious expression. They dug in, and Kotone started to tell him about Rio and the tennis club.

---

It wasn’t what she’d pictured they’d talk about, but it felt easy, and Shinjiro listened with interest. His expression didn’t change much, but he was quick with followup questions, and had a remarkable memory for what she’d told him back in September. When she caught him up on tennis, she told him about the student council, and her other clubs. Talking about it reminded her what she still had at school, and she began to look forward to seeing all her friends again tomorrow.

They ate quietly for a moment, the food was so good that it filled the gaps of silence without any awkwardness. Until Shinjiro spoke up again.

“... So… you and Aki… when did that happen, huh?”

Kotone slurped up a noodle between her lips and looked aside, her eyes darting guiltily… Should she even feel guilty?

“… started to get serious around the end of November.”

“Hm.” Shinji nodded, listening. They looked at each other quietly.

About half a year ago, which really felt like a lifetime ago, Kotone and Shinjiro had fallen apart about as quickly as they’d come together. It took less than 24 hours for him to push her away with finality after they spent the night together. And by the time two days had passed, he was gone. How could she put into succinct enough words all that had happened? While they all believed he might never come back. While the fate of the world itself was on the brink.

“... I’m sure it was a surprise.” She said dumbly, “When you saw us together.”

“... Kinda.” His tone was hard to decipher.

Her lips drew up tightly, cringing. Did she have an obligation to tell him who she was seeing now? Were they ever truly together? If any feelings remained, were they in any way relevant?

“I think it's good.” He broke her out of her own thoughts with a casual nod, and seemed to actually mean what he said, “You suit each other.”

“You… really think so?”

He nodded again, “He’s much better for you than some punk like me. I always told you you could do better.”

She scoffed, fighting the deep urge to argue with him.

Catching the annoyance in her eyes, he smirked, and shrugged, “I… died. And that… stuff before? It's. Old news.”

He waved it off like it was this random thing. Like in the grand scheme, it really didn’t matter. Maybe that was how he always felt about it.
Maybe that would feel true to her too someday.

“Right. Old news.” She smiled and let out a sigh that sounded relieved, “Forever ago.”

“He make you happy? Aki.”

“Yeah.” She nodded straight away, smiling softly, “He does. We have a lot of fun together, and we laugh, and he's really good to me. He always tells me how much he cares. He says he’ll call me lots while he’s at school, and come visit when he can.”

“... Good, then I don’t need to beat any sense into him.” he smirked, “I’m glad you fulfilled my request, in a way. You were taking care of him while I wasn’t around. I’m grateful. Of course, I’ll support you both.”

It was a relief, and it took a huge load of tension off of Kotone’s shoulders to know for certain that she and Shinjiro could still be good friends. She grinned, and they both finished their ramen in companionable silence.

When it was time to pay, Shinjiro took out his wallet. When she assured that she could pay for herself, he shook his head and said he owed her… But she hadn’t done anything she could remember.

---

While walking up the stairs of their apartment building, she asked him what he meant by owing her.

“Did they tell you what saved me?” He asked back with a surprised glance.

“… No?”

They stood in front of each of their doors. Shinjiro looked into her eyes and pulled the broken watch from his pocket. Her eyes widened as she leaned in to take a look, barely cradling the hunk of metal between her fingertips as he hung it in front of her.

“Oh wow, your pocketwatch! It looks really beat up…”

“Mmhm.” He nodded, “bullet’ll do that to ya.”

“And after all that trouble to find it.” She sighed in disappointment, running her finger along a bit of the twisted frame, “it looks dangerous, senpai. You should be careful with it.”

He rolled his eyes. She was missing the point. He swung the thing back into his hand, and swiftly back into his pocket.

“Point is. I’m here right now, because you found this for me. Sort of random, but I owe you my life. I figure your first meal out is as good as I got for you right now.”

She nodded, an unreadable expression on her face.

“... See you tomorrow at school, Senpai.”

“We’re classmates now.” he shrugged, “you can be more casual with me from now on.”

They unlocked their doors and quietly waved goodbye.

“See you tomorrow, Kotone.”

“Goodnight, Aragaki.”