Work Text:
“Mother, I'll be leaving today,” Mafuyu stated, a well crafted smile visible on her face. She forgot to tell her mother about her little meet up with her friends, not that she would tell she'd hang out with them anyways.
Mafuyu stood from the front door, her foot already near her outside shoes as she waited patiently for her mother's reply, her approval.
“Oh, is that so? You didn't inform me earlier,” Her mother replied, her eyes narrowing to observe Mafuyu. Her voice was gentle like usual, though it didn't stop that tightening feeling on Mafuyu's chest.
Her mother's eyes bore onto her and she hated the way her mother would stare. It's as if she could see something she herself couldn't. “Where will you be going? It's the weekend,” She continued to ask, her face contorted to worry.
“Me and my friends will be having a study session at a diner, I hope you wouldn't mind,” Mafuyu replied just like she practiced. She already planned what she would reply, she was getting better at predicting her mother. She now knows what words to say to make her happy, to make her sad, to make her angry. She knows what to do and what to avoid.
“I see...” Her mother paused, Mafuyu watched as her mother thought. She looked calm, yet worry glinted in her eyes. She closed her eyes and let out a sigh. Her mother looked in deep thought, weighing the pros and cons.
“I'll let you go, just be back before 7,” The same old curfew she would say.
Mafuyu smiled once again, and lightly bowed to thank her mother. She wore her shoes and opened the door. Once the door closed, she finally stopped smiling. The pressure from her face, leaving.
Smiling sure does start to hurt these days.
Today, she and the others. Will be celebrating a huge milestone they recently reached. Gaining 800k subscribers is a huge deal, well to the others only. Mafuyu couldn't really see its importance, fame wasn’t something Mafuyu think too much. Views, followers and likes they’re all just numbers. Well, as long as she can continue writing to find her true feelings, then it's fine.
Mafuyu continued walking, passing people who all seemed different. Who all lived a different life than hers. She paused, staring at the vast sky. It seemed duller and a lot greyer than usual. Rain is a possibility, she should have checked the weather forecast before leaving. She opened a small shoulder bag, and frowned when she couldn't find her umbrella. Her memory seems to be getting worse lately, is hanging around the others’ fault…? This could impact her grades and overall scores and—
…
She hoped the cafe wouldn't be far away. They won't be eating at their usual diner, instead somewhere else. Apparently, it's a cute (of course it'd be cute) and cozy cafe hidden in between the more popular buildings. It's pretty small and unpopular, so it easily gets overshadowed by the bigger and more well known buildings, though Mizuki said the food was delicious. Well, at least that's what their friend said...
Mafuyu saw the mall in the distance, the place they all agreed to meet up. The cafe is near this place and Mizuki insisted they all walk together there as part of an exercise, not that they already walked to get here. She looked at her surroundings, checking for familiar faces. It seems no one is here yet.
She watched as people walked by, passing her. Time seems to be running slow and the others seem to be testing her patience. She stared at the concrete ground, shifting her balance from one foot to another. If she were to be honest, she didn't really want to come. Exams are approaching close, she could have been in her room studying. But, this celebration meant so much to everyone and as part of the group she couldn't just not attend.
She sighed, staring wistfully at the sky. Things really have changed when she met them. Her music group. She has many friends, but none knew how she truly felt or was trustworthy enough to share her secrets. She feels… grateful that she has met them. What would have happened if they weren't in her life?
Would she have disappeared?
“Oh, you're here...” A voice spoke, soft and nearly a whisper from behind her back. She turned around and saw Kanade with her usual sweatshirt that she owns an absurd amount. She looked like she was tired which wasn't surprising, the light haired girl barely did any physical activity.
“Did the others arrive yet?” Mafuyu asked. Kanade shook her head, her pale blue hair swaying along. Mafuyu hummed in response. Neither of the two said anything, but the silence was oddly comforting.
“Have you been waiting long..?” Kanade asked, filling the silence with small talk.
“No, I just came here,”
“That's good,” Kanade smiled, small yet it was real, genuine and filled with actual emotions unlike hers. Will she one day smile like that?
Not another word was exchanged after that. They simply stood next to each other, waiting for the others to come.
For some time, she heard the voice she was waiting to call out to them.
“OI, Kanade, Mafuyu!!” Mizuki exclaimed, waving their arms up as they dragged an annoyed Ena along with them. They stopped once the two were standing in front of them.
“Let me go, I can walk by myself you know!” Ena exclaimed, trying to wriggle herself out of Mizuki’s hold. Another bickering was about to start, Mafuyu learned not to ever get in between those.
If Mafuyu was being honest, she finds this somewhat… amusing. How they argue all the time, yet still like each other. She doesn't really understand how they can maintain their relationship… maybe it was because of mutual trust or they were just that comfortable around each other?
“Where is this cafe you're talking about?” Mafuyu asked, straight to the point. She wants to get there as fast as possible, so she'd have enough time to study at home. She knew they'd take a little, no— way longer, considering Ena would be taking pictures constantly, and Mizuki would be talking all the time.
“Oh that, it should be around here somewhere...” Mizuki replied, glancing around. They walked around, peeking at the corners of the street.
Ena grumbled, crossing her arms “Are you saying you don't know where we are going?” She asked, quite annoyed.
And they are back to bickering...
After some time, the three walked following Mizuki who had asked their friend for the location. She watched as Ena and Mizuki started chatting happily once again, anger from earlier long gone. Kanade is listening intently at their words, smiling softly at them. Mafuyu really cares less about what they talk about, though they keep trying to hook her into their conversation. It feels… she feels something warmth, sparking at the thought of them trying to not leave her out.
It reminds her of someone.
Then they stopped and stood in front of a small cafe found in between two tall buildings. It has a small welcome sign written on the front written in a fancy cursive font. Plastic vines hung from the ceiling with neat plastic flowers, contributing to the overall aesthetic of the place.
…
Mafuyu blinked at the café, a feeling of knowing and familiarity seeped into her chest and clinged into it. She looked around the area and saw the same decors on the shelves though a bit dusty, the same colors painted on the walls though duller, and the same carpet though stained.
A flash of light emitted from beside her, bringing her out of her memories. Ah, Ena is taking photos again.
After Ena finished taking selfies and photos of the cafe, they all entered inside. Mizuki pushed the glass door open, a soft chime echoed which startled the cashier. The cashier immediately hid her phone and turned her gaze towards them with a tired smile.
Mafuyu just stared around the area, mind recalling old memories. Nothing seemed to change with the years she hasn't visited at all. The new items were now worn, but not worn enough to be thrown away. The air was filled with the aroma of sweet pastries all freshly baked. She looked at the display, where she'd recall staring at it with… him and—
Kanade tugged at her sleeves to get her attention, “Are you okay? You seemed to be spacing out…” She said, worry evident in her face.
She nodded her head. A smile, the fake one, nearly slipped in. It's difficult to stop the things she's forced herself to do her whole life, habits are hard to break. But, she wants to be her true self, she wants to stop pretending, she wants to remove the mask she had placed on her face.
“Yes, I'm feeling fine, no need to worry,” Mafuyu replied a little too long than necessary. Kanade stared at her a little longer and nodded her head, mumbling a ‘if you say so.’
Mafuyu was about to sit when she saw Ena moving from seat to seat with her phone propped up. Apparently, Ena wanted to find the best seat which would have the best lighting for her photos. She even went to check which place would make a good backdrop for the photos and this whole thing lasted for minutes.
“Aren't you being too picky? Those are just photos,” Mafuyu commented, hoping to stop Ena and just pick one. She never really understood the need for taking aesthetically pleasing photos and selfies for social media. How can anyone find that entertaining?
“Picky?! I'm not being—” Ena was cut off by Mizuki who looked quite annoyed.
“Look you always edit your photos anyway, what's the point of making it look natural! I also want to sit. I'm very tired,” Mizuki stated. Ena groaned, crossing her arms. She looked at Kanade who was already sitting, then sighed.
“Ugh, fine!”
The four of them sat by the window, the soft rays of the setting sun making the table look more brighter. She looked at the sky, seeing the sun naturally bright, dim as it hid behind the clouds. The sun. He was like the sun, at least to her life. He brought her warmth and light, she thought she wouldn't be able to experience.
However, she could barely remember anymore. The moments they spent felt like nothing, but a dream.
They took the menu and started picking what they wanted. The food list is nothing special, it's just like any other cafés she's been to with her school “friends”.
Mafuyu stared blankly at the cafe menu. No matter what she thinks or does, she can't decide what she wants. She couldn't tell what her heart desires. Everything felt the same, she couldn't feel any pull or connection to any choices. Will she be like that for the rest of her life…?
Mafuyu looked at Kanade, who sat beside her. The composer stared at the food with great concentration. Her eyebrows knitted together and eyes sparkling with interest. Mafuyu looked at the menu once again, not understanding how it was seen as tasty. Perhaps it's due to her missing sense of taste? Or lack of appetite?
Mafuyu looked at Ena and Mizuki who also were focused on choosing what food to buy. She could hear Ena mumbling about not having enough money and Mizuki smiling with glee.
She stared at the menu again. Perhaps she should order something simple, something… just something. Or just copy what they ordered.
They gave their orders to the waitress whose eyes were about to close and hair messy. The four waited for their order in silence filled by occasional clicking of a camera effect from Ena’s phone, Mizuki tapping their hands on the table and Kanade humming a tune.
She used this remaining time to think. She thought of how she could be better, thought of how she could find her true self, and thought of how she should stop reminiscing about the past. But, she can't help recalling them, those memories were precious to her.
-
“MAFUYU LOOKED DOESN'T THIS PLACE LOOKS GREAT?!” A loud voice screamed. Mafuyu nodded along, bringing out her artificial smile. She doesn't understand how she got here or why she even agreed to this in the first place.
Ah, she's having regrets now.
They found a seat by the window, and they sat right in front of each other. Mafuyu stared at the blond boy, who goes to the same school with her. That guy was undoubtedly loud and had this air of confidence. He took the menu and gave one to Mafuyu.
She smiled and took it. She barely knows this guy, doesn't even know what his intentions were. Not only that, but it clearly seemed her “friend” set her up to be on this. She was supposed to join them for a study session, but suddenly texted that she was sick. Mafuyu swore she saw that girl around the school campus.
The guy, filled with bravado and energy, spoke a whole lot. She couldn't even try to block him out due to his loud voice. Surely everyone in this room could hear him.
-
She heard snapping sounds and blinked, startled. She heard someone sighed, “Ah, thank goodness. I thought you fell asleep with your eyes open with all that studying,” Mafuyu now only realized Mizuki was shaking their hand in front of her.
“Ah, sorry. I zoned out again,” Mafuyu apologized.
“What is it that you're sulking about this time...” Ena muttered, her arms crossed. Though her eyes were crinkled in worry.
“Everything okay? You can tell us what's wrong,” Kanade asked, looking at her with those kind eyes of hers.
Mafuyu shook her head, “No, just I said earlier I'm fine,” she replied. She looked at the table to see the food had arrived. She grabbed a fork, which felt unusual as she's way more accustomed to using chopsticks. She looked up once she heard Ena say something.
“You sure? Aren't we your friends? You can tell us what's bothering you anytime,” Mafuyu paused and stared at Ena. Friends. Was that how they were all this time? Mafuyu really just thought they were just acquaintances, people she hung out with, but it'd make sense to consider them as her friends. Though would this friendship last? Would this end similarly to how their friendship ended?
“I thought you'd order the cheesecake, I heard it's really good,” Mafuyu commented when she saw the plate of crêpes on Ena's side.
Ena looked to the side and eyes the cheesecake on display. She closed her eyes, “Well, I decided to change it up for today! It's not like I eat cheesecake everyday,”
Mafuyu doesn't know whether it's true or not, but he did say the sweets here taste really good. He'd usually buy a lot of sweets and pastries to give to his sister or his friends.
His sister, if she remembers correctly, her name was Saki. He wouldn't stop mentioning her at every conversation, he was in that constant state of worrying about her health and future. Mafuyu thought it was sweet of him to be so caring despite her initial thought of being self centered. Recently at the school campus, she saw a girl with two pig tails that looked similar to him. That could be his sister, she must probably be better. He must be really happy.
She wondered what happened to him. Was he still pursuing his dream of being a star?
“You're unbelievably infuriating!” Mafuyu heard Ena exclaim as she stood up from her seat. Mizuki, on the other hand, has this smug grin on their face.
“But, it's true! You post so much stuff about cheesecake, your followers are probably starting to get tired about it that's why—” Their conversation wasn't really all that important, so Mafuyu found there's no reason for her to listen anyways.
She looked at her unfinished food, finding no appetite to finish it. Then, she turned her gaze to the window to look at the sky where the sun could no longer be seen. Shrouded by the grey clouds or probably had already gone down the horizon. The street lights open and the mumbled sound of the rain hitting the roof.
She really should have brought her umbrella.