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Rescue Ritenuto Part II
It had been five days since the Red Dragon headquarters attack, and Spike was out of the danger zone, with the doctors even optimistic about his recovery. Shin even surreptitiously got a message to the Bebop crew, confirming any remnants of the Red Dragons would stay away from them from now on. Faye and Jet had been looking after Spike, with Faye taking over most of the duties.
Things were slowly seeming like they were before between the trio. Whenever Spike was awake, he tended to make terrible jokes or blatantly obvious, exasperating observations. All the same, Jet and Faye were grateful for it. For the time being, they just focused on Spike’s recovery and deciding on what to do next.
Faye sat next to Spike’s hospital bed with her arms folded as Spike slept. After sitting for a while, Faye heard Spike to a sharp breath and wake up.
Spike turned his head and looked at her. “Hey,” he gave a small smile.
“Hey,” Faye smiled back. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” Spike replied, quietly. “I mean… well as I can be.”
“Okay.” Faye tucked her lips in. “I know I’ve said it before… but I’m glad you’re alive.”
“Thanks. Surprisingly… so am I.”
They fell silent. They hadn’t talked about anything heavy, in particular their mutual declaration of their love for each other, since that night fighting the Red Dragons. But Faye and Spike knew they couldn’t put off this talk, indefinitely. Even if they decided not to pursue things, they needed to talk about it.
Faye decided she had waited long enough.
She took a deep breath then exhaled, “Sooooo.” She shifted then shrugged, slightly, “We gonna talk about this or what?”
Spike smiled a bit. “‘This’?”
“Yeah. This.”
“What’s the ‘this’ you’re talking about?”
Faye growled, “You know the ‘this’ I’m talking about! But since I have to spell it out for you: I’m talking about the ‘this’ where we said we love each other, you jackass!”
Spike chuckled a bit. “Oh! That ‘this’!”
Faye groaned and rolled her eyes.
“We can. If you want.”
“Well. Do you want?”
Spike gazed at her for a moment, then, as earnestly as he could, replied, “Yeah.”
Faye stared at him, almost in shock. He actually wanted to talk about this. Part of her was really surprised. The rest of her couldn’t be happier. “Well. Okay.” She looked away, making it easier to talk about her feelings while not looking at him, then decided to just jump right in. “I guess… when we met… when I forced myself on the ship… I thought you would just be a means to an end.”
“Fair assessment. Happy to hear you confess you forced your way on the ship.”
“Shut up.” Faye scratched the side of her head. “And… yeah! I guess… I saw you more than just a… comrade. You… became a friend.”
Spike thought for a moment. “So, when did that start for you?”
Faye paused. “Wow. That’s a good question. I guess… maybe… after I ran into Whitney again?”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I think that was it. What you said to me after we turned him in… I… it meant a lot. Thanks, by the way.”
“You’re welcome,” Spike chuckled, softly.
“What about you? When did I become a friend?”
“I think it was the same time. That whole Whitney stuff, I got another look at your life. You weren’t just some rando who was being an annoyance. You had an actual, messed up past.”
“You did eavesdrop on most of it,” Faye reminded.
“And I think that was the turning point,” Spike admitted. “Yeah, I know I said your story ‘needed editing.’ But… hell, I hate talking about my own past. Maybe I was projecting.”
“‘Maybe’?”
“I definitely was.”
“Wow, you must’ve been really close to dying this time,” Faye noted. “You’ve never been this honest.”
Spike actually laughed a bit.
Faye shifted a bit. “I think I fell for you… the moment you told me about your eyes.”
“Just that recently?”
“Honestly, I was probably fighting it for the longest. I think… when you finally told me… that’s when I couldn’t deny it anymore.”
Spike thought for a moment. He stared up at the ceiling. “I think my telling you… was my way of confessing without actually doing it.”
“How do you mean?”
“I didn’t even tell Jet how about my eyes.”
Faye stopped. “Wait. What? He doesn’t know?”
“He’s noticed, of course,” Spike said. “Probably figured it out. But he’s never really asked. And I never told him.”
Faye stopped. “I… thanks, Spike. For… trusting me with that.”
Spike just smiled.
Faye thought for a moment. “Can I ask… a really awkward, potentially messed up question?”
“Now I gotta know. Ask.”
“If you felt like that for me… why still leave? Why go after Vicious? Why did you… need to see if you were really alive?”
Spike paused. “I guess… telling you… was me making my peace.” He sighed. “With Julia gone… I thought this life was… well, basically, I figured it was time to wake up… from the dream.”
“Life as a dream.” Faye stared into space. “Yeah. It would be great if it was that easy.”
“It really would.”
“I think a part of me… felt that way when I finally remembered my past. When it all came back… I thought… this life, with you, Jet, the ship… that was the ‘fake’ life. The ‘dream’ life. Or ‘nightmare’.”
Spike scoffed.
“My ‘real’ life was waiting for me. Except… it was all gone. My home. My family. All of it. There was nothing left. Then I realized: it’s all real. The good. The bad. The gone. The… still here.” Faye looked at Spike. “I… wanted to come back. Because… the Bebop… is the only home I have left. And… you were one of the people who mattered the most to me.”
Spike stared at her. “My turn to ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“With everything you just said… why tell me about Julia?”
“You deserved to know,” Faye answered. “You deserved the truth. And I refused to be as heartless… as to keep the chance from you that you deserve.”
Spike thought for a moment. “You love me but let me go after another woman. You’re a walking contradiction.”
“You love me and went after another woman. Pretty contradictatory yourself!”
“That’s not a word,” Spike smirked.
“Shut up!” Faye blushed. She turned her head and mumbled under her breath, “Contradictory.”
“There ya go!”
“I said ‘shut up’!” Faye exhaled. “So… we’re really gonna give this shot… right?”
“I’m game if you are,” Spike managed to shrug as best he could.
“You really mean that, right? Because, Spike, if you—”
“Faye, I wouldn’t do that to you. I’m serious. We’ve… had to deal with a lot. And, yeah, life’s gonna throw more at us. But even I have a limit on how cold I can be.”
“I can tell,” Faye smiled a bit.
Spike leaned back a bit. “Huh. You know… you’ve got a nice smile. Actually… wow! You have a beautiful smile!”
Faye’s blush returned with fury. She shook her head and groaned, “God! Where did you being sweet come from?”
“It’s a mood thing.”
“Fair enough.” Faye thought for a moment. “Hey. This isn’t a bad thing, but I feel like I need to say it, out loud.”
“Okay?” Spike asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Can we not pretend we have to be different just for this to work?”
“How do you mean?”
“I mean… yes, the idea of… not always being at each other’s throats is good. But… we don’t have to start being different. Like, we don’t have to overcompensate on the affection or anything.”
“You don’t want affection?” Spike raised his eyebrow again.
“No, I want that! I mean, we don’t have to act like we’re all love-dovey.” Faye paused. “All the time.”
Spike chuckled a bit.
“My point is… we are who we are, Spike. And that’s fine. We actually about each other like we are. We’re both… kinda messed up. We’re annoying. Yes, we can start… letting those walls down with each other but it’s a process. No need to… I dunno, pretend we’re not assholes.”
“Speak for yourself.” Spike smirked. “I’m the most pleasant person you’ve ever met.”
“I will shoot you myself. I won’t miss.”
Spike laughed.
“I’m serious, Spike. This? Us. It works because… we don’t try to pretend to be something we’re not. We’re screwed up, pure and simple. But… for me, at least… it’s not so bad when I’m around you.”
“You’ve already declared we work?”
Faye paused. “Yeah. ‘Cause we do.”
Spike was a bit taken aback. He could hear it in Faye’s voice. She was serious.
“We work ‘cause…” Faye sighed. “…we already know the worst parts of each other. And we’re still here.”
“You came after me,” Spike reminded.
“Means I’m braver than you.”
Spike just smiled. “Maybe you are.”
“No ‘maybe’ to it,” Faye insisted. “Do you know how hard it was getting through that building?”
“Uhhh…” Spike looked down at his injuries. “I have some idea.”
“Oh, please! Half of your injuries are your fault!”
“Oh, sure! I set off a couple of explosives and shrapnel hits me, suddenly, it’s all my fault!”
“How the hell did I ever fall for you?!”
Spike managed to laugh again.
Faye sat back. “So. Are we good?”
Spike held his smile. “I hope so. I want us to be. And, seriously? I get what you mean. I’m not the ‘chocolates and roses guy.’ You’re not the ‘home-cooked meal woman.’”
“Got that right.”
“But… yeah. We do work. We’re good.”
“Good.” Faye stood up and walked closer. “So… since we’re good… I’m going to kiss you. And you better like it. ‘Cause it’s gonna happen a lot.”
“Let’s find out if you’re any good at it,” Spike smirked.
Faye leaned closer, “Careful, cowboy. I could turn you into a ‘chocolates and roses guy’.”
“Prove it.”
Their lips met. It felt almost dangerous. Almost forbidden. At first.
Then it almost annoyed them how perfect it felt. Almost. The more prevalent thought they shared was why it took them so long to finally do this.
After the kiss, they stared at each other.
“Well?” Faye smiled.
Spike thought for a moment. “Okay. One rose. But that’s it.”
Faye’s smile grew wider. “And I’ll buy you a sandwich. Maybe I’ll even make you one, once. Maybe. I’m going to get full bouquet out of you one day.”
“You’ll cook me a full course meal.”
“In your dreams.”
Spike held his smile. “Dreams are done, Faye. Time to see what this living thing is all about.”
“Well, buckle up, cowboy,” Faye smiled, dangerously. “You’re in for a wild ride.”
Spike matched her smile. “Right back at ya.”