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Today was a peaceful day. Nclair hadn’t had any panic attacks or breakdowns. He was quietly sitting on the couch, hugging a pillow and watching TV with Sinclair cuddled up next to him. Sinclair has his arm wrapped around Nclair gently, letting him rest his head on his chest.
Sinclair smiles softly; they were watching cartoons. Sinclair enjoyed simple moments like this. Even though Nclair isn’t age-regressing, the colorful and cheerful characters on the screen seemed to soothe him, bringing a hint of peace to his troubled mind.
“Hey, love..”
“mm..?” Nclair murmured, looking at Sinclair. His eyes sad, even if he wasn’t feeling bad.
Sinclair gently kissed the top of Nclair’s head. “You doing okay? Want some snacks? I could get you some of those bunny shaped chocolates you like...” he asked, he knew Nclair probably didn’t actually want snacks but he couldn’t help it, he cared so much about Nclair and wanted him to stay happy and content at all times.
“Mnn..” Nclair hummed before shaking his head. “Noo...” he said softly.
Sinclair smiled softly. He knew Nclair likes being handled gently… he likes when Sinclair was soft and sweet with him, babying him sometimes. “Mochi...” Sinclair murmurs softly, pulling Nclair closer to cuddle.
“..?” Nclair tilted his head, letting Sinclair cuddle him as he still held his pillow.
Sinclair chuckled softly, realizing the nickname he only uses when Nclair is particularly fragile or having a tough day slipped out of his mouth. “Come here, my little mochi...”
A rare, tiny, sad smile appeared on Nclair’s face as he snuggled up to Sinclair.
Sinclair’s heart melted. He knew how hard it was for Nclair to show any sign of happiness. He gently ran his fingers through Nclair’s hair, enjoying the rare moment of contentment.
Nclair kept his head in Sinclair’s chest. As Sinclair had his arms wrapped around him, he noticed that Nclair was still very skinny as before, but it seemed he gained a little weight... a tiny bit more padding to his ribs and hips. It was a small victory for Sinclair, who has been trying to get Nclair to eat more.
Sinclair doesn’t say anything about the slight weight gain out loud. He didn’t want to ruin the moment or make Nclair self-conscious. Instead, he simply held him closer and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of his head. “Love you, Mochi...” he whispered softly.
“Mnn.. Love you too..” Nclair whispered.
Sinclair smiled softly at the whispered words. He knew how hard it was for Nclair to express his feelings, so every time he did, it felt like a precious gift. He gently rubbed his back, enjoying the quiet moment together.*
“I like this episode...” Nclair said softly.
Sinclair glanced at the TV screen briefly before returning his attention to Nclair. He knew this episode was one of Nclair’s favorites — a simple cartoon about a little bear finding its way home. It was comforting and predictable, just what Nclair needed. “I know you do,” he replied softly.
“The little bear was so scared when he got lost...” Nclair said idly. “But when he found home, he felt safe again... I know that feeling well...” he added softly.
Sinclair’s heart ached at Nclair’s words. He knew all too well how often Nclair felt lost and alone before Sinclair made an effort to take care of him and gained his trust... He pulled Nclair even closer, wrapping him up tightly in a protective embrace. “You’re home now, doll,” Sinclair whispered fiercely. “You’re safe with me.”
Nclair sighed. “I would never guessed that myself would be my own home...” he mumbled.
Sinclair felt his heart flutter at Nclair’s profound yet broken statement. He understood perfectly — that for Nclair, being with himself, his own soulmate from another universe, felt like the only true home he’s ever known amidst his turmoil.
“It’s strange... Isn’t it?” Nclair asked, looking up at Sinclair, waiting for an answer.
Sinclair carefully considered Nclair’s question before answering softly. “Yes and no...” He kissed the top of Nclair’s head again. “It’s like you’re finally with someone who gets you. Who understands your past, your traumas, your mind... someone who loves you despite all that.” He paused. “But also... It’s like you’ve found a piece of yourself in me. Like we’re two halves of the same whole, finally reunited.” He held Nclair even closer, as if physically connecting them could make their bond even stronger. “You’re my home too, love…” he whispered.
Nclair was silent for a moment, not fully sure what to say. He closed his eyes, shifting to face Sinclair and rubbing his face against his chest. “...I’m happy I found you...” he whispered.
Sinclair’s heart soared. It really wasn’t often he expressed happiness, and Sinclair cherished every instance. He held Nclair tightly, his own eyes prickling with tears of joy and relief. “I’m happy I found you too, my dear...” he whispered back, voice thick with emotion. “So happy...”
The TV continued playing quietly in the background as the two of them sat in silence, holding each other tightly. Sinclair occasionally pressed soft kisses to Nclair’s head or face, while Nclair buried himself deeper into his embrace. The moment was peaceful, filled with unspoken understanding and deep affection.
Hours pass, the cartoon ending and another beginning. Nclair shifted slightly in Sinclair’s arms, his stomach rumbling softly. Sinclair smiled to himself, grateful for even this small sign of hunger. Gently, he started tracing soothing patterns on Nclair’s back. “Mochi...”
“Mmn..?” Nclair hummed, half asleep on Sinclair’s chest.
Sinclair’s heart melted at the sleepy sound. He continued his gentle touches, hoping to wake Nclair slowly. “Love... would you like something to eat?” he asked softly, already knowing the answer would likely be no, but offering anyway, hoping today might be okay.
“Mmnn...” Nclair hummed some more before opening his eyes. “Can I..?”
Sinclair’s heart leaped with hope when Nclair didn’t immediately refuse. He nodded eagerly, wrapping his arms around Nclair to help him sit up. “Of course, doll,” he smiled warmly, brushing Nclair’s messy hair out of his face. “What would you like to eat?”
Nclair rubbed his eyes sleepily. “I dunno...” he said softly.
Sinclair’s smile softened. He knew that not knowing what he needs was a common issue for Nclair due to his lack of appetite and pickiness. Rather than pressuring him, Sinclair stood up instead. “Let me pick for you, okay?”
“Okay...” Nclair murmured, before Sinclair helped him stand up. He held his hand gently the whole time they walked to the kitchen, Sinclair’s thumb occasionally brushing over Nclair’s knuckles in a soothing manner.
Once there, Sinclair pulled out a chair for Nclair to sit on before starting to prepare something simple. Nclair sat obediently on the chair, swaying his legs. He played with the long sleeves of the sweater he stole from Sinclair as he waited for his food.
Sinclair watched Nclair from the corner of his eye as he prepared rice with veggies. He loved seeing Nclair like this — quiet, almost innocent. His long sleeves hid his skinny arms; his legs swinged back and forth like a child’s. Sinclair smiled softly, finding him surprisingly cute like this.
As Nclair smelled the scent of vegetables being fried on a pan, his eyes closed, his expression somewhat dreamy. Sinclair’s heart swells with warmth at the sight. He knew that even the simple scent of food could bring some comfort to Nclair, who often struggled with eating.
He quickly finished preparing the meal, plating it gently before placing it in front of Nclair. “Here you go, eat up...”
Nclair looked at the food; it looked really good... He loved Sinclair’s cooking. “Thank you...” he said politely, before grabbing a fork. But before he got to eat, he looked at Sinclair. “What about you..?”
“Hm?” Sinclair watched as Nclair looked at him instead of eating. He found it incredibly sweet - this consideration that Nclair showed even when he was hungry himself. “I’m not hungry, Mochi. Eat,” he smiled softly, ruffling Nclair’s hair slightly. “Before it gets cold.”
Nclair frowned, looking down at his bowl. “I... I want to eat with you...” he said quietly.
Sinclair’s heart melted at Nclair’s quiet request. He didn’t realize how much Nclair valued eating together until now... But it all made sense; both of them had childhoods where eating together was so important. It was a part of childhood both of them lost... Without hesitation, Sinclair grabbed another plate and served himself a portion of the same meal. “Alright then, we’ll eat together.”
Nclair smiled softly as Sinclair sat next to him. He finally scooped some of the rice and veggies onto his fork and ate it, only when he made sure Sinclair was eating too.
Sinclair watched Nclair eat, his heart swelling with warmth and affection. He found Nclair’s actions incredibly sweet - this consideration, this love for him that Nclair showed in the smallest of ways. Sharing food never felt so intimate before... Two broken souls, healing over food.
They ate slowly together, occasionally commenting on how good the food tasted. It was peaceful, almost... normal. Something they both missed so much from their childhoods. Sinclair kept stealing glances at Nclair, watching him eat messily. There was rice sticking to his cheeks, and some spilled on the table. But instead of scolding him or correcting him, he found it endearing. He reached out gently and wiped the rice off Nclair’s cheek with a tissue before doing the same for the table. “Love..?”
“Mm..?” Nclair hummed again, adorably like always, his face a little red as Sinclair wiped his cheeks.
“Nothing, sweetheart...” Sinclair smiles softly instead of mentioning how messy he was eating. “Just eat slowly, okay?” He encouraged instead of correcting him. “You’re actually eating a lot today...” he commented softly, watching Nclair’s small body as he ate. He found it surprisingly cute - those thin cheeks moving slightly with each bite. He realized he’d never seen Nclair eat this much, not even when he had to kind of force him to eat. “You haven’t left any veggies...”
Nclair looked down, feeling nervous. “Is... Is that bad..?” he asked, he couldn’t tell if Sinclair was scolding him or something else...
“No no, it’s not bad...” Sinclair quickly reassures him, seeing the nervous expression on Nclair’s face. He didn’t want Nclair to think he was being scolded or anything. Instead, he reached out and gently ruffled Nclair’s hair again. “I just meant... that I’m happy you’re eating so well today... And you actually ate the veggies too...” He smiled softly, trying to explain himself without making Nclair self-conscious. His hand gently rested on Nclair’s head. “You rarely eat this much... So I’m just... happy. It’s a good thing, okay?” *He admitted softly, his thumb caressing his locks.
Nclair blushed, just not expecting such praise. “I just... though it tasted good...” he said quietly as he looked at his food, poking the rice with his fork.
Sinclair couldn’t help but lean down and press a gentle kiss to Nclair’s forehead. “It does taste good, doesn’t it?” he murmured against his skin before sitting back up. “Finish your food, love.”
Nclair smiled softly again. He nodded as he continued eating.
They finished their meal in silence, the only sounds being the clinking of forks against plates and the occasional soft murmur of praise or encouragement from Sinclair. As Nclair put his fork down, signaling that he’s finished eating, Sinclair reached out and gently took the plate from him.
Nclair sat there, holding his tummy, content and full. He ate a little more than half of the bowl! His stomach was still getting used to normal food...
Sinclair stacked the dishes neatly and carried them to the sink, humming softly to himself. When he returned, he found Nclair leaning back in his chair, looking pleasantly stuffed and adorable. “Feel better now?”
Nclair nodded, his face sad as always but still very much content...
An idea popped into Sinclair’s head, and he stood up quickly. “Wait here.” He rushed to the freezer and after a while returned with a small bowl of vanilla ice cream topped with whipped cream and berries. “Special dessert for my good boy.”
Nclair nearly gasped, he didn’t expect a dessert at all... “For me..?” he asked, his hand trembling as he reached for the spoon.
Sinclair nodded, smiling softly. “Yes, for you. You ate so well today. I thought you deserved a treat!” He watched Nclair’s trembling hand and gently placed his own over it to steady him. “Here... Let me help you with the first bite, okay? You’re shaking a little.” He gently took the spoon from Nclair’s hand and carefully scooped up a small bite of ice cream, bringing it to Nclair’s lips. “Open your mouth.”
Nclair opened his mouth gently, and Sinclair carefully fed him, watching as his lips close around the spoon and his eyes fluttered closed in enjoyment. He realized that he’s feeding Nclair like a baby - small bites, slow, careful.
Nclair opened his mouth again, as if expecting another spoonful. Sinclair chuckled softly, seeing the eager look in Nclair’s eyes. He decided to indulge him and scooped up another bite, feeding it to him gently. “You like it?” *He asked softly, watching Nclair’s expression closely.
Nclair nodded. “It’s sweet... Cold...”
Sinclair smiled warmly at Nclair’s simple description and continued feeding him bite by bite. With each spoonful, Nclair’s initial sadness seemed to fade away, replaced by a contented expression. Sinclair found himself getting lost in the moment, enjoying the intimacy of feeding his strange lover... his strange self. “Almost done...”
Nclair gently grabbed the spoon Sinclair had been using and scooped some ice cream with it. He blushed, looking at Sinclair. “Y-You should try it too... It’s good...”
Sinclair was surprised by the gesture but touched to see Nclair trying to share his dessert with him. It was such a normal, loving thing to do... and yet, coming from Nclair, it felt extra special. Sinclair parted his lips obediently, allowing Nclair to feed him. “Mmm... You’re right, it is good.”
Nclair smiled softly, happy that Sinclair liked it.
Sinclair smiles back, his heart warming at Nclair’s shy happiness. He reached out to gently take the spoon back from Nclair’s hand, their fingers briefly touching. He fed himself another bite before turning the spoon towards Nclair once more. “Open up again...” His voice was soft, gentle.
Nclair opened his mouth once more, letting Sinclair feed him. They went on like this for a while until they finished the ice cream.
As the bowl emptied, Sinclair set the spoon down with a soft clink. He leaned in slightly, his yellow eyes shining with affection as he wiped a small smudge of ice cream from Nclair’s lip with his thumb. “All done...”
Nclair had a soft, small smile on his face, still a rare sight... Now he was definitely full and content. Sinclair’s heart swells with joy. He was so used to seeing Nclair with a frown or a blank expression, that this small smile was like a reward. Without thinking, Sinclair leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to Nclair’s forehead, then his nose, and finally his soft smile.
Nclair was at first very surprised by the sudden affection, but he slowly melted into the kiss, and kissed Sinclair back. His hands went up to his shoulders, holding him tight, not wanting to let go.
Sinclair’s heart races, his own hands came up to cup Nclair’s face softly, thumbs caressing his cheeks. “Mochi...” He whispered against his lips.
“Hmn..?” Nclair hummed like always, more sounding like a whimper this time.
Sinclair smiled softly, his lips brushing over Nclair’s to silence him, pressing another gentle kiss to his mouth, this one lingering a little longer. When he pulled back, his eyes were shining with happiness and affection. “I love you...”
Nclair pulled Sinclair into another kiss, and Sinclair wasn’t surprised. He didn’t get any kisses at all back there; he was starved for any sort of affection, even if he was afraid of it.
Sinclair kissed him back obediently. He pressed his body closer against Nclair’s smaller one, giving him all the contact he could get. ‘He’s like a puppy...’ Sinclair thought, ‘so needy’...
As the kiss broke, Sinclair gently rested his forehead against Nclair’s, their breaths mingling. He felt a sudden urge to hold him close, to cuddle and just... be. Without breaking the gentle contact, he whispered softly, “Do you want to cuddle on bed? Just hold each other for a while?”
Nclair buried his face in Sinclair’s chest once again. “Y-Yes...” he whispered.
Sinclair smiled softly, wrapping his arms around Nclair’s smaller frame and pulled him close. He stood up carefully, lifting Nclair into his arms without breaking the hug. He carried him to their shared bed, gently laying himself down with Nclair on top of him.
Nclair hummed as he cuddled up to Sinclair, he felt so safe in his arms. Sinclair was so chubby and nice to cuddle... So soft.
Sinclair wrapped his arms around Nclair, holding him tightly against his soft chest. He nuzzled the top of his head, inhaling his scent. “Comfy?” he asked softly, his eyes half-lidded with contentment. One of his hands gently pet Nclair’s hair.
“Mhm...” Nclair answered; he looked happy. Content. A far cry from how he was back when they first ‘met’... Even if there were still a lot of things he had to work on.
Sinclair remembered the broken, scared boy Nclair was when they first met, and how far he’d come. He pressed a gentle kiss to the top of Nclair’s head, holding him even closer. “I’m so proud of you...”
“Hm..?” Nclair hummed, not quite understanding.
“You’ve come so far, love...” Sinclair whispered softly, his thumbs gently rubbing circles on Nclair’s back. “From being so scared and broken to lying here with me, happy and content. I’m just... really proud of you.”
Nclair didn’t reply, just keeping quiet. He didn’t quite understand, but that’s okay, he didn’t have to understand.
Sinclair didn’t mind the silence. He knew Nclair well enough to understand that sometimes, words were too much for him. Instead of pressing for a response, he simply held him tighter, continuing to gently pet his hair and back. “You don’t have to say anything, mochi...” he said, leaning in for another soft kiss.
Nclair kissed back, this time not surprised at all. The kiss was gentle, soft... and soon turned into a series of pecks and nuzzles as Sinclair explored Nclair’s face with his lips. He kissed his forehead, his nose, his cheeks, his chin... Each press of his lips leaving a warm, loving imprint on Nclair’s skin. “My sweet mochi...” Sinclair murmured between kisses.
Nclair couldn’t help but smile at all that affection, resting his head against Sinclair’s shoulder, closing his eyes contently. Sinclair continues to gently kiss and pet him, his actions becoming more soothing than passionate. After a while, he felt Nclair’s breathing even out, indicating he’s fallen asleep in his arms.
Sinclair stayed still, not wanting to disturb Nclair’s peaceful sleep. He looked down at his sleepy partner, feeling his heart swell with love and protectiveness. Nclair looked so different when he’s sleeping peacefully like this - not scared, not anxious, just peaceful and content.
He wanted to protect that sight, that small smile. So it stays on his lips forever.