Archive of Our Own ^beta

There are rules one shouldn’t break while traveling back in time: first, do not try to change the past. It will only alter the present. Second, death is inevitable. Humans shouldn’t play around with the will of God. Third, whatever you do, do not stay for too long, or else you will lose yourself in the timeline where you do not belong.

Euijoo holds these rules close to him. He can’t go back in time, but Nicholas can, and Euijoo tries his best to guide Nicholas as he navigates the past. He instructs him. Euijoo becomes his limbs, his eyes, his mouth, his mind. Sometimes, Nicholas listens. But most of the time, he prefers to follow his heart rather than Euijoo’s desperate pleas echoing in his ears.

Nicholas is kind, but he is also brash. He dives in without thinking, longing to help everyone in need. He is weak in the face of grief, yet tries to stand up even while mourning. Nicholas is rough, yet gentle, and the edges where he is sharp have been softened by kindness. He has lost his parents—to what, no one knows—and for years, has been living with Yudai, taken under his wings ever since he was a child. They opened a camera shop together to grant Nicholas’ late father's wish. The shop isn’t big, but it’s a two-story house, and the two of them live together on the second floor. The first floor is the shop, kitchen, and a small living room. Euijoo came in the middle of it, when Nicholas and Yudai were busy painting the store, and he decided to help.

Green was the color of the paint splattered all over his white shirt. Nicholas laughed, and Yudai offered to wash it as a sign of gratitude. That means you’ll be lucky, you know, Nicholas said. My parents said green is a lucky color.

Euijoo isn’t superstitious, but he believed what Nicholas said because he needed luck. He hummed to Nicholas’ words, shirt slowly dominated by green even while being meticulous. On the other hand, Nicholas’ shirt was cleaner. He used a smaller brush to have more control, and Euijoo softly cursed himself when he smiled at the detail.

When the two agreed to let Euijoo live with them, he and Nicholas became partners. For the first time in his life, Euijoo vowed to be by someone's side forever.

Forever felt within reach when they walked in tandem, both in the past and the present. Euijoo never left Nicholas' side. Nicholas had never left him. Every second, during the 12 hours Nicholas spent traveling back in time, Euijoo kept his mind alert. He would respond to every sigh in a heartbeat. He had memorized Nicholas' steps—how it sounded when he ran, how his heart rate picked up. The sound of Nicholas' breath haunted him, even in his sleep. Euijoo jolted at every slight change. He knew Nicholas too well to stop himself from thinking about the possibilities of a forever existing.

Yet forever never came when Nicholas died before his eyes.

It was quick. Death took Nicholas away from Euijoo in the blink of an eye. For a moment, they were back on the rollercoaster they had waited an entire hour for, only for it to finish in 30 seconds. Euijoo didn't have time to react. His first instinct was to reach out for Nicholas' hand—but Death was faster. It was all a blur: Nicholas' gurgle, blood splattered on the ground, Euijoo's hand brushing over Nicholas' finger, the killer disappeared after saying something Euijoo didn't bother to hear. He desperately, stupidly, pressed the wound as if it would have helped. As if he could save Nicholas that way. But Nicholas put his hand on top of Euijoo's, with the same smile he had always given him, and filled the space in between his fingers.

"You can't die," Euijoo whispered. "Nico, no. You can't."

Nicholas coughed up blood while he tried to speak. Guilt wrenched Euijoo's heart like a cruel twist of fate. "I'll save you," he pleaded. "Just, stay with me. I'll call the ambulance. I'll call Yudai-hyung. Fuck. Wait … wait, okay? You're fine." Euijoo could feel the warm tears running down his cheeks, but he didn't move his hand from Nicholas' wound. He frantically searched for his phone in his pocket with one hand, endless curses leaving his mouth as he failed to fish it out. "You'll be fine, Nico," he repeated, not sure if it was him or Nicholas who needed it more.

His heart sank when Nicholas shook his head. "I …" he exhaled forcefully, "it's 'kay, Juju."

"What do you mean it's okay?" Euijoo cried out. "Don't close your eyes. I'm making a call."

"'m sleepy," Nicholas mumbled.

"Don't sleep," scolded Euijoo. "Stay with me. Nico, hey, don't sleep."

"Just for a sec," he responded, words slurring. Nicholas blinked. "Juju."

"I need an ambulance—wait, hey. Nico, don't close your eyes!"

Nicholas blinked again. "Are you afraid?"

"What are you—of course I am!"

"Good," Nicholas sighed, "at least 'm not … alone …."

"Fuck, wait. Sorry. Wait. Hey, Nico? Hey, open your eyes, Stupid. Hey." Euijoo desperately shook Nicholas' body, feeling the coldness from his skin seeping into his warmth. He grimaced. Fuck. Fuck. This can't happen. He can't lose him. Not Nicholas. "Nico? Wake up. Don't sleep!"

But Nicholas never opened his eyes. Even when Euijoo wailed—screaming like a little child with endless tears sliding down his cheeks, an occasion which normally would have invited Nicholas to worry disguised as laughter, he didn't wake up. He shook his body hard, yet he stayed still. Euijoo looked down at his blood-stained hands. He threw his gaze around the room. He was alone.

That night, Euijoo lost Nicholas forever.

Grief is a strange concept that Euijoo has never understood. He has never been familiar with grief. He has never bothered to make it a friend. The first thing Euijoo did on the night Nicholas died was to travel back to the past.

Nicholas' power entered his body when he touched him for the last time. He remembered how his body shuddered. Memories of Nicholas' life passed his eyes like a never-ending movie, which felt weird, because Euijoo was in it most of the time. There were memories of when Nicholas was a little child, waiting for his parents to come home; pictures Euijoo had never seen; the moment Nicholas cried in Yudai's arms for the first time; the first time they met; the basketball court; the picture Euijoo took.

The picture Euijoo took.

It was there. Of course it was. Euijoo tucked the printed picture neatly between the pages of a book he knew he would never throw away. It was there, in a pristine condition—a picture of the court, right before Nicholas accidentally threw a basketball at him.

This will fix everything, he concluded. Nicholas will be alive again. And Eujoo didn't need the ability of a hawk's eyes. He didn't need to predict what would happen next when he remembered it too well.

Euijoo never gave himself the time to acknowledge grief. How could he, when his entire reason to live succumbed to death? Grief was a luxury Euijoo couldn't taste. He didn't want it. He wanted Nicholas alive.

Without any hesitation, he dived back in time.

ⴵ

"Shit! Sorry, sorry."

Euijoo freezes. He knows that voice. The voice he hears before he sleeps and the first one he listens to when he wakes up. Worry encased his voice, pushed by guilt that stays in between every word. Euijoo touches his arm. He's back.

He's here again. In front of him is Nicholas.

How many times has this gone on? This isn't the first time he has come back to the past. Euijoo does it too much; his body has become accustomed to it. The sensation of going back to the past, entering his former body, adapting to the old cells he has long grown out of. He blinks. Nicholas—and his friends, whom Euijoo knows as well—looks at him with remorse.

"Sorry," he said again, "I was too reckless with the ball. Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Euijoo says. "I'm okay."

"Here, I'll help you get up." Nicholas holds out a hand. Euijoo stalls before reaching out to his hand, shuddering at the sudden contact. Nicholas' warmth fishes out the breath Euijoo doesn't realize he was holding. "You sure you're good?" He flashes a tiny smile, one where he doesn't show his teeth, instead only a thin line. "You're shaking."

"I am," he states. He stands up with Nicholas' help. "Thanks."

If Euijoo held his hand for a few seconds too long, Nicholas didn't say anything. Euijoo can feel the ghost of Nicholas' hand lingering on his palm, his warmth slowly spreading to his entire body. Nicholas fixes his gaze on him. "Hey, do you want to play?"

"What?"

"Do you want to play?" Nicholas retrieves the ball with one hand. "Basketball, I mean. With me. Help me against these two?"

The two, which Nicholas points with his thumb, are Jo and Yuma. The four of them often play basketball together—in every timeline, they are always there. Euijoo nods. "Sure, why not?"

What would differ in this timeline from the previous one? Euijoo often ponders this. There are a million possibilities that things could go wrong, but also a million possibilities of them going right. He never knows. He doesn't have the ability to predict the future—at least not more than 12 hours. But he has the knowledge of everything that has gone wrong and things that he did right. At most, Euijoo could try to do something different. When things were about to reach to when he lost Nicholas, Euijoo could pick a different choice. Most of the time, Nicholas still dies.

But Euijoo would still do it as long as he has time. He doesn't mind.

This lifetime goes similarly to the last one. Euijoo knows what will happen every second—the basketball game, volunteering to help Nicholas and Yudai with the shop, moving to live with them, going back and forth between the past and the present. When Nicholas was sick, it pained Euijoo that he couldn't do anything to prevent it, because he knew Nicholas needed to be sick. He took care of him with bits of nags every now and then. Nicholas mostly laughed weakly, but one night, he asked Euijoo something that he had asked him a million times.

"Aren't you tired of this?" Nicholas asked. "Guiding me, taking care of me. Isn't it tiring?"

"You take care of me too, though?" Euijoo replied. He sat backwards on the chair, chin perched on its back. "Are you tired?"

"Hey! Why are you throwing my question back to me?"

Because you should have known the answer. "Because that's a silly question."

Nicholas huffed. He sat up, hugging the basketball-shaped pillow they bought together at a night market. "I just wanted to know."

"We're friends, Nico. I think friends don't get tired easily of each other."

"Friends, huh." Euijoo watched as Nicholas lay down, pushing the pillow upward. "I don't think that's the right word for us."

If it had been the first timeline, Euijoo would not have known what to do. He would have been flustered—eyes wide, the tip of his ears red, scrambling to find his words. But this was not the first time that Nicholas had said the same words, so Euijoo just stared at him blankly, only moving the chair while he waited for him to continue his sentence.

"Best … friends, I think, are better," he mumbled, "right?"

Euijoo never missed the hesitation in between Nicholas' words. He could pinpoint when he began to sense there was something similar to doubt seeping among the vowels, and Nicholas would pause every time, as if to brace himself for what he was about to say next. It began on the fourth attempt because at that time, Euijoo had stopped flustering the same way.

"Sure," he said. "Best friends sound about right."

But both of them knew no one meant it. Euijoo understood what Nicholas originally wanted to convey—the words that had been looming over them were too hard to avoid. They tiptoed around them, but Euijoo knew one day, the two of them would trip and say it.

Until his eighth attempt, the words had never been said.

"Juju?"

Euijoo snaps out of his reverie. He blinks a few times before shifting closer to the edge of his bed, looking at Nicholas at the bed below him. "Yeah?"

"You weren't listening to me, were you?"

"Did you say anything?" asks Euijoo. He frowns. "What were you talking about?"

Quiet. Euijoo cranes his head and sees Nicholas spacing out, the same basketball-shaped pillow in his arms. He sighs. "Hey, Nicholas."

"Yeah?"

"You …" Euijoo sighs. "Don't call people and hang up on them like that."

"But you're right above me, though?" Nicholas refutes. He throws a little ball of paper to Euijoo, which he dodges successfully. "You're never far."

How could Euijoo ever be far when the thought of losing Nicholas haunts him every time? He can't stay away, neither physically nor mentally. They are seldom absent from each other's lives. Euijoo has become too entwined with Nicholas, has too much of Nicholas in all aspects of his life, that the idea of being untangled from Nicholas seems ridiculous.

"There's something on your mind."

Nicholas looks up. Their eyes lock for a few seconds longer than they should have, but neither of them moves. Openly, he states, "I dreamt that you died."

"Oh."

"It was yesterday," Nicholas continues, "and it was so vivid. I can still feel it, you know." He takes a deep breath, reaching out an arm to the sky. Nicholas is looking at him, but Euijoo knows his mind is anywhere but in the room. "Your blood stained my hands, and you … you died in my arms. And you smiled, Juju, because you saved me."

"Did I?"

"Yeah," he mutters. His hand makes a fist, and Nicholas fixes his gaze on Euijoo before closing them completely. "I hated you in my dream."

"Because I died?"

"And because you left me alone."

"Shouldn't you be glad that you stayed alive?"

Nicholas blinks. "What, and you as the sacrifice?"

Euijoo hums. "It doesn't sound bad."

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Nicholas snaps. He sits up quickly, and Euijoo is concerned his blood rushes into his head. "I don't want you to die for me."

"But what if I did?"

"You're sick in the head."

"Nico," Euijoo softly says, "I would die for you."

"Don't say that, Euijoo."

"But it's true."

Nicholas throws another paper ball at him; this time, it hits Euijoo right at his nose. He lets out a small protest, but Nicholas merely glares. "You are not dying on me, Juju."

Except that he had died on him before, on the first timeline—which started it all. It isn't a dream. It's a play of Nicholas' own memories of their first lives when Euijoo jumped in front of him to shield Nicholas from the bullet. The images flashed by Euijoo's mind when he first gained Nicholas' power in the second timeline. For a few seconds, he was Nicholas. Euijoo's blood-stained hands mimicked Nicholas' own. Nicholas died in his stead, like how Euijoo died to protect him. Which was what Euijoo couldn't comprehend. In every timeline, Nicholas always died. In the only timeline when he didn't die, he went back in time to keep Euijoo alive.

Now, Euijoo struggles to keep Nicholas alive.

"I won't," Euijoo lies. "As long as you won't die on me."

"Well, I want to live a long life, so you can hold onto my words."

Euijoo smiles even though he understands it isn't the complete truth. Nicholas will die for him. He doesn't need to say it out loud for Euijoo to know, because it has happened a couple of times. It's almost like an instinct for both of them to sacrifice themselves, in the faltering hope that the other would survive. Euijoo acknowledges it. He has made friends with the feeling until it has made a home out of his heart.

"I won't let you die peacefully if you do."

"Don't worry." From where he sits, Euijoo can see the ghost of a smile on Nicholas' lips. It resembles the shadow of a smirk. "I'll haunt you too."

ⴵ

No matter how swift Euijoo is, Nicholas is often one step ahead.

Whenever they play basketball together, it's not rare for Nicholas to be quicker than Euijoo. He is more flexible and faster, although Euijoo is taller. He could get away from the opposite team—Jo and Yuma—easier than Euijoo could. If they guard him, Euijoo will run to his side, and Nicholas will pass the ball to him before ducking below their arms, guiding Euijoo to shoot.

"I pass the ball to you," Nicholas said, "because I trust you." He punched Euijoo gently on the shoulder. "I know you'll guard it well."

Euijoo had laughed it off, albeit the hastened beat of his heart. He remembered replying, "You act like you're a protagonist of a coming-of-age story."

"Aren't I?" He stiffened when Nicholas hugged him from the side. "But you are one too, though. We both are the protagonists of our own stories."

Only Nicholas could say cliché things and make people's hearts swell with joy—Euijoo's heart, at least. A big grin split his face. "Whatever you say, Yixiang."

"Hey!" Nicholas frowned, but failed to stop Euijoo as he ran to the other side of the court. "Using my name like that is forbidden!"

Euijoo knows everything about Nicholas. His preferred name, his favorite food, his go-to perfume, his late-night snack. It's all accumulated from the years Euijoo has spent with him. For Nicholas, it might have only been a couple of years. For Euijoo, it has surpassed 10 years.

There is a consequence to this. Euijoo's health has been deteriorating with every timeline; his life span has gradually reduced as the risk of continuously disrupting the same timeline. Euijoo doesn't know when his body will succumb to it, but he is aware that he can't keep doing this. Every timeline has to be the last one. Every time, he fails to make it so.

Euijoo wonders if this timeline would finally be the one.

The memories of his first experience are etched in his mind. Euijoo remembers the grief looming over him—the anguish of losing someone to death haunting him awake, even when he didn't give himself the time to feel it. He flew back to the past through the same basketball court picture, met Nicholas who had the same guilt plastered on his face, and said: "You're … alive …."

Which was answered with, "Uhm, sorry? Do I … do we know each other?"

The words fell hard on Euijoo's head. He could still feel the pain vividly. Euijoo didn't realize it at that time—he had travelled back to the time when they hadn't met yet. He remembers shaking it off, stuttering, "Sorry. I … I was practicing for an audition."

In that timeline, Nicholas died.

In the next one, although Euijoo had tried a different approach, he died again. The same way Euijoo died in their original timeline—a bullet to the stomach, a heapful amount of blood gushing out, and the relief of sacrificing yourself for your beloved.

Euijoo doesn't know what he said on their original timeline. Sometimes, he would think about it. Did he say something heroic? Was it something that made Nicholas cringe, although he wasn't sure if Nicholas would cringe at a situation like that? Did he make Nicholas cry? He probably did. Euijoo felt the tears when Nicholas' power entered him. Euijoo doesn't remember anything. There are gaps in his memory that Euijoo could never close. He is weighed down by the curse of being the only one who remembers, yet not having the memories of everything. Alas, Euijoo would bear it. He would shoulder anything if it meant he could be by Nicholas' side.

One time, Nicholas asked him, "Why are you here?"

The question felt like a hit on his heart. His breath was caught in his throat. Does he know? Does it mean he knows I'm not supposed to be here? Euijoo tried to play it off despite the clog in his stomach. "What?"

"Working with me," Nicholas explained, "and Yudai. Doing … whatever we're doing. Having to supervise me. Why are you doing this?"

"You two are giving me a place to live," was the answer Euijoo could give. Because I want you to live was something Euijoo had to keep to himself. "I think it makes sense why I stay."

"Yeah, but still. I know I can be too much sometimes."

"So … you're self-aware?"

"Hey!"

Euijoo laughed. "Sorry," he mumbled. "But this isn't the first time you've asked me about this."

"It isn't?"

"You asked me something similar when you were sick."

"Oh." Nicholas' eyes fluttered. "That was the fever talking."

"Who is talking now, then?"

"Me," he answered. "Since … well, we fought, kind of, yesterday."

Euijoo looked at Nicholas like he had just grown another head. As if he's a three-headed dog, like Cerberus. "We didn't fight."

"But you raised your voice," Nicholas argued timidly. "You never did."

"Because you were being stupid, Nico."

"I wasn't!"

A sigh slipped out of Euijoo's lips. There had always been a thin line between naivety and kindness—most of the time, Nicholas fell to the first side. Sure, he was kind, but his kindness could bring harm to himself. Euijoo thought this might be one of the reasons why he became very calculated in his stead. Yudai joked once that he was a control freak, but anyone would be one if they knew what could happen ahead.

"You almost got yourself killed," reminded Euijoo. "You wouldn't get how dangerous it is if I said it softly."

Nicholas pouted. "Well, you aren't wrong."

"You're so painfully aware of yourself."

"It's a good trait," said Nicholas, a little bit defensive. Euijoo chuckled at his tone. "That means I know my boundaries."

"It doesn't work if you ignore it," Euijoo replied.

He heard a low hum from Nicholas, followed by a playful grin. "I have you to remind me, anyway."

Euijoo held his smile, turning it into a scowl, stiffening his voice despite the tenderness seeping in. "You're so confident that I'll always be here, huh?"

"You promised me that."

The gentle smile taking over his lips was something Euijoo couldn't stop. He let it bloom, allowing the softness to paint his face with a color Yudai said would only appear when Nicholas is near. "I did say I would stay by your side," he confessed, "so … well, wherever you go, I'd always follow."

Nicholas giggled, mischief hanging around his lips. "Even if it's dangerous?"

"You know I won't let you do that," Euijoo stated. Another heap of giggles escaped Nicholas' lips, and Euijoo, albeit originally wanting to grimace, laughed along with him. "Nico, I'm serious!"

"I know," Nicholas said amidst the giggles. "Just … it makes me happy, Juju. Even though I know you won't be with me forever."

"I can't promise forever." Neither can you, Euijoo bit back. "But I'll stay as long as I can, Nico."

ⴵ

Nicholas dies again.

The same way he died last time. The same way Euijoo died. There is blood on Euijoo's face—on his white shirt, his face, across his glasses. Nicholas' blood. It stains his skin, forming like a scar on his arm, and Euijoo fails to do anything but to look at Nicholas, who is smiling. He repeats the same thing: "It's 'kay, Juju."

"Stupid," Euijoo muttered, "how is it okay? You're not okay!"

"I'll be … 'kay," he exhaled. "Don't … worry."

Again, like the last, Euijoo frantically tries to stop the blood. He rips a strip from his shirt, tying Nicholas' stomach with it. "Don't die on me, Nico. You can't."

"But I've died on you before, haven't I?"

Euijoo froze. "W-what?"

"This isn't the first time, Juju," Nicholas said. "It's the price that I have … to pay."

Nicholas' voice becomes deeper. He sounds distant, even when he is right in front of Euijoo. He stares past him—to somewhere Euijoo couldn't reach, as if he is looking back at the past. "Hey, Nico. What are you saying?"

"Juju, he's coming."

"He … what? Who?"

"He's coming," Nicholas repeats. "To get me. To get you. We're disrupting the timeline, Juju. He's angry. You can't go back again."

"Fuck, wait. Nico, no. Fuck him."

"You need to let me go." Nicholas turns his gaze to him. "Don't dive in again. Don't risk it, Juju."

"What the fuck does he know? What do you know?" Euijoo shook his head. He won't listen to this. He won't comply. He knows the risks, understands the consequences. Euijoo has since long acknowledged he had made the universe angry, but what does he know about him and Nicholas? What does he know about failing to save your beloved, no matter how many times you have dived back? "You can't tell me anything, Nico. You did the same thing."

"And I'm glad I did it," Nicholas whispers. He forms a smile as he reaches out for Euijoo's cheek, stroking it gently. "You're alive, Juju. You should move on without me."

"Fuck you, I'm not doing that," Euijoo retorts. "I'm not living in a world without you. You know that."

"You can't save me from him."

"I will kill him for you."

Nicholas coughs out a laugh. "He's invincible, Juju."

"I will," Euijoo insists. "I will kill him if that means I can save you. I don't care how many lifetimes it will take me, Nico." Euijoo grits his teeth. A tear threatens to fall, but he doesn't bother to hold it back. He leans in to Nicholas' touch, the coldness of Nicholas' finger dimming down Euijoo's warmth. He mumbles, "I will save you."

"Don't risk yourself for me."

But he has risked himself to save him before. What would change now? Euijoo shakes his head fervently. "Don't say that."

"Juju," Nicholas sighed, "you know … I—"

Before Nicholas could finish his sentence, something else took him away. Euijoo's eyes widened. He wants to scream, but his voice stops in his throat, and what comes out is a mere voiceless shriek. He scrambles to the ground, touching where Nicholas had been, saying repeatedly, "No, no, no. Fuck. Not again. Nico? Nico!"

"Hey, Juju. Are you okay?"

Euijoo sits up. Nicholas is right beside him. He looks at him, concerned, his hand a warm weight on Euijoo's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

Then, Euijoo realizes he wakes up showered in cold sweat. He turns to Nicholas, cupping his cheeks softly. "Are you okay?"

"I mean, I was sleeping, and then I heard you scream." Nicholas doesn't shy away from his touch. He knits his eyebrows together, lips pursing. "Did you have another nightmare?"

Right. It was just a recurring dream. The same dream for three nights now. Yet each time, it feels real. Nicholas's blood is always warm on his hands, and he looks at Euijoo straight in the eyes. Euijoo knows it had never happened in reality, but everything feels too real to only be a dream. Somehow, it feels like a vision—as if he's watching the future folding before his eyes. Euijoo closes his eyes forcefully. It isn't anything, he assures himself. Don't turn it into something it isn't.

"Yeah," he finally answers. "Just … another one of the same nightmare I had before."

"I told you we should just sleep together."

"I'm not a kid!"

"But you sleep better when we're on the same bed, right?" Nicholas persists. He pushes Euijoo's arm. "Move. I'll sleep here."

Euijoo blushes. He can't deny that. He can think better when they're side by side. He shifts closer to the wall, allowing Nicholas to shuffle under the blanket. "You don't have to do this."

"Nonsense. Just let me do it, will you?"

Their hands brush, and for a good second, Euijoo stills. Nicholas' touch was feather-like. He knows it isn't intended—the bed is too small for two growing boys, but neither of them speaks about it. Instead, they let their hands linger for a few seconds longer. Nicholas slightly leans in to Euijoo's shoulder. Euijoo fixes his position, letting Nicholas rest his head on his shoulder. He wishes time would stop when they're in this moment; when they are in the wee hours of the night, the tenderness of unspoken words drapes itself around them. Euijoo stares at the ceiling fan. "Hey, Nico?"

"Yeah?"

"You know I'd do anything for you, right?"

He could feel Nicholas turning a little, probably looking at him now. Euijoo stays still. "Where is this coming from?"

"Just … well, this feels nice."

"Does it?"

"Don't make me repeat it, you evil."

Nicholas laughs. He shifts again, his little finger softly hooked around Euijoo's. "It does feel nice," he says. "I hope time will freeze."

"Even though that could never happen?"

"Where's the harm in hoping for something that could never happen?"

Euijoo only smiles. He hooks their little fingers together, bracing for Nicholas' rejection, but he doesn't say anything. Instead, he moves closer to Euijoo, his hair touching his neck. Euijoo shudders. There is something else they want to say, but both of them know better than to say it. So they let the quiet engulf them in its embrace, the only sound filling the room coming from the fan and the outside world. The weight of memories and unspoken words sits on Euijoo's shoulders. Heavy, yet he let them be. He sighs. "I wish time could freeze for us too."

This time, he doesn't have the luxury of failing. This time, he must keep Nicholas alive—even if he has to defy any divine being for it.