Chapter Text
“You may now kiss the bride.”
Blue eyes framed by blond hair gazed lovingly into softened red orbs, before drifting shut and leaning in to take the other’s lips in his, arms dipping to wrap around her waist as they share a passionate moment after being pronounced husband and wife. Confetti burst from the sides to rain down around the couple, beneath the altar, drifting from the sky like a blessing. Colors danced around the couple, as if the world itself were throwing petals of light to honor love’s bold promise. The crowd around them cheered and whooped, clapping together joyfully in the declaration of love, and the celebration of a bright future for the newly-wedded husband and wife.
That’s why Summer Rose felt like an impostor.
The wedding was a mostly private affair – no, that wouldn’t be the word she’d use. More of an openly quiet sort of thing, with a small group in attendance, consisting of close friends and the faculty of Beacon, like Ozpin and his recently promoted assistant Glynda, as well as a few teachers. Those friends were clapping wildly in a range of intensities, some of the men in attendance loud and laughing and most others smiling softly, their applause gentle but sincere. Celebrating the union and the journey that brought her two best friends to where they were at now.
That’s why Summer felt like she didn’t belong. She’d been dreading the day for a while, ever since Taiyang dropped to a knee, opened a scarlet ring box, and proposed to Raven then and there. The young woman stared, shrugged her shoulders, and casually replied “Sure.” But she could tell that Raven had really been flustered and touched by the gesture. Prickly as she could be, the former-bandit couldn’t stomp down the heat that visibly crawled up her neck and cheeks, nor the vulnerable shine in her eyes in time before she and their friends saw.
That became the deal-breaker for her. The metaphorical toll of the bell signaling the final hour. More than anything, she wished she was more apparent with her feelings for Taiyang now, after years of practically beating around the bush. It wasn’t like a crush not reciprocating your feelings or said crush dating another girl, because at least those weren’t final, there weren’t any commitments and things could always change. In those, at least there would be a chance that said crush could turn around and accept your feelings and look at you the way you look at them.
But here, there was not. It was a wedding, and that implied commitment, promise, finality. Sure, divorces exist, but Taiyang and Raven just got pronounced husband and wife, and unless he was hiding some alternate identity throughout the years they’d known him, she doesn’t see that changing anytime soon. If ever.
So there Summer stood, among the crowd, clapping along with the others, a smile on her face that didn’t quite reach her eyes. No one noticed – why would they? She looked happy enough. But inside her heart felt heavy, like a weight pressed against her chest, making it hard to breathe. She knew this day was coming, even helped planned pieces of it when Taiyang came to her for help on the organization, yet the finality of it all hit her harder than she was prepared for.
She watched them – him – laughing, grabbing hold of Raven and swinging her around in the air, to her indignant but half-hearted protests and the rousing cheers of the audience. There were many times where she could’ve said something, made it clear what it was that she wanted. Long talks, times when they were alone, moments that could’ve turned into something more. But she floundered, dead-set on dropping hints here and there and – whenever she mustered the nerve – made slightly more forward gestures. Always waiting for an opportunity where he could look at her the way she does him.
Those didn’t work of course. Maybe for a lack of complete frankness and honesty, but also because he was much more focused on his dark-haired partner.
Now, watching her two best friends promise forever to each other, Summer realized that all her hesitation and caution had bought her was silence and regret.
- / - / -
The ceremony lasted for a few more minutes before the couple took their exits. Soon after, cocktail hour dawned and everybody was lining up to the food stands to grab their plates and foods before settling into tables, mingling with their friend groups.
An acoustic set played an optimistic song into the air, blending with guests chatting to each other about this and that. A few went over to where the newly-weds were to take photos, posing happily and making faces to commemorate the day.
Summer picked some finger foods, corned fritters and sausage balls, where others scooped meal sized assortments of consumables – her appetite was on a bit of a damper on account of the person she has feelings for being wedded away – and navigated through the crowd. Despite earlier expectations, the crowd of friends, along with their teams, as well as the faculty was both small enough not to count as a large celebration, but also big enough to force her to wade through the throngs of people flocking to the food stalls.
On her way to the table her other teammate, Qrow, slouched on, her traitorous eyes picked the figures of their best friends. Raven looking like a sourpuss dragged to the place and bolted down by her feet not to walk away in boredom, while Taiyang being the life of the party with his sheer charisma and positivity, magnifying the jovial atmosphere tenfold as he brought the guests into a headlock for the photos. No matter the tough façade she puts up, not even Raven was left unaffected by the joy he could bring out of her.
That was one of the reasons she loved hi- Summer sighed. Not again. Watching her two best friends’ wedding was supposed to be a happy experience, she thought. But she couldn’t help but feel the emotions warring in her chest whenever she thought about it. Whenever she saw the sight of them.
Distracted in her thoughts as she was, she didn’t see the person she bumped into until it was too late. “Oh – sorry, I didn’t- “
“It’s no problem, Miss Rose.”
She blinked, then refocused. There he was, standing before her was her former combat instructor and current headmaster of Beacon, Ozpin. He regarded her with a polite and grandfatherly smile, since his arrival up ‘til now. Just like when she’d first met him.
“O-Ozpin, sorry for getting in your way. I’ll move along now.” She stepped to the side.
“No need, I’m not quite so hungry at the moment.” He looked past her, to the focal point of the celebration, “Despite repeated experience, it brings me no small amount of joy to see my students finding home in one another. Time and time again.”
Summer understood the undertone. At least this was one of the types of things that the old wizard hasn’t grown bored of. Or completely bored, rather. You could never know with someone who lived as long as him. She followed his gaze, “Yeah,” she let out in a breath, “I’m happy for them.”
Dark eyes blinked back on her, and hummed. “I’m pleased to hear it. But I suppose like most celebrations, there would be those that can’t share the sentiment.”
Wasn’t that the crux of it. But the way he said it felt a little like needling. “Excuse me, sir?”
Her agitation must have shown beyond her efforts to control herself, because Ozpin backtracked a bit. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound so accusing. I just couldn’t help but check up on one of my students when they’re down in a somber mood.
For a moment, she panicked, but still had the presence of mind not to break eye contact and betray herself. “Um. What do you mean?”
“I’m sure you well know.”
Summer tried to maintain the image. She really did. But the concern, simple and clear in his eyes moved her. Besides, he’s probably been in situations like this hundreds of times before, with people far more guarded. She looked away and sighed, “What gave it away?”
Ozpin smiled softly, “It’s been said time and time again that the eyes are the windows of the soul.”
Still not facing him, she popped a chicken fritter in her mouth. “And what did you see?”
“I see a young woman suppressing her struggles for the sake of everyone else.” Summer flinched, “While I normally applaud such selfless traits in a person, I would never stand by as that same selflessness became a burden that wore them down and isolated them from others. And I believe it’s my turn to ask the questions. How are you?”
A beat passed, the question lingering in the air among the chatter and music. Finally, she looked back to him, “I’m… doing my best. I knew this day would always come along, for a while now.” A bitter chuckle escaped her, she toyed with the toothpicks attached to her sausage rolls, “You don’t fall in love with a person without knowing how to read their intents, at the very least. Taiyang and Rae… It was one-sided at first, you know. Back in our first year, he was completely enamored by Raven, probably for– no, definitely for her looks. Like most guys at that age would be. It wasn’t until later, much later, at least between our third and fourth years that she showed some interest back in him. And then… they started to do things together, tried to open up a bit about themselves to each other, and that connection between them grew stronger and stronger and I… knew I lost my chance.”
“If by showing some interest in him, I do recall a time where I listened in to a fellow teacher ranting about a particular duo engaging in a… wildly aggressive bout of PDA.”
This time, mirth flooded her senses, and they shared a moment of genuine laughter. “Heh he heh. Yeah, I remember that. Raven always goes on and on about strength this and strength that, and how Tai wouldn’t even be worthy of a scrap of her attention if he kept with the- “her hands came up in air quotes”-pathetic simpering. Then one day, he took up her challenge and snapped. Went out and pinned her to the wall and shouted in her face, and challenged her to doubt his strength after he beat her black and blue in the ring, unarmed.”
A sly smile graced his features, “Well, that wouldn’t be the strangest way I’ve seen someone get the attention of another. There were certainly more creative methods that were explored a hundred years or so back. Before the faunus rights revolution.” His face smoothed out to what Summer personally classified as everyone’s grandpa mode, “That said, would you be so kind as to indulge an old man’s curiosity?”
“Uh, sure,” she nodded, “Go ahead.”
“You’ve been observant enough as to give me a good depiction of the timeline between your teammates’ relationship, but where did your own feelings emerge during this?”
Summer paused to process that question. Visibly expending effort to look past the pain of regret to recollect rose-tinted days. “This… This won’t get out, will it? No one here will know about what I tell you?”
“I value privacy just as anyone else does. This will only be between us, I assure you.”
“Good, because I feel a little scandalous just talking about my feelings for the just-pronounced husband.” Before she could think further, a thought occurred to her, and she blinked. “Wait, I thought you already knew, or at least had a good idea of when if you’re here talking to me about all this.”
“Summer…” He trailed, finally calling her by her first name. There was an incredulous hitch to the way he pronounced it. “If you recall, I was merely your combat instructor, and while I’m more observant than most, that doesn’t make me aware of every one of my students’ interpersonal relationships. I only had the rare moments in passing to witness your affections for the young man, most of which in my own class. And I paid much more attention to the people fighting in the ring than those outside.”
“Ah, that makes sense.” He probably only began piecing together the full picture of her feelings because of their repeated exposure after being included in his inner circle. She popped a sausage roll in her mouth, rolling the thoughts in her head and trying to find the words to convey them. After swallowing, she spoke. “It was also sometime in our third year, or late in our second. To be honest, when I came to Beacon, I was more focused on being the best huntress I could be, and then proving my leadership position to my teammates.”
“And what changed?”
“Well, nothing, really,” she shrugged. “I was doing just fine leading our team, Qrow was being a slouch and source of dry-humor, Raven was being all thorns and sharp edges, and Taiyang…? He was like the life of the party, as- “her eyes flickered to the man in question, then back to Ozpin, “-as he always is. He was just so… lively. So out there with himself, no matter how much people better than him pushed him back, he always stood up again with a smile on his face and a fresh challenge to overcome in his eyes. Like the world couldn’t topple him and what he believed in. I… liked that. I liked that a lot.”
“Does it help that he’s one of the more desirable of young men in terms of physicality?”
Summer blushed, horrified. Her mouth dropped into an embarrassed ‘o’. “H-How-?”
“I’m not aware of the intricacies of my students’ relationships. And I don’t make it a habit to be.” A wily eyebrow rose, “But student rumors have a tendency to reach ears they shouldn’t, no?”
Her plate now empty, Summer hid her red face behind the plasticware. “Oh my goooooosh no…”
“Is it true, though?”
Muffled breathing blew from behind the plastic, “Yes.”
Ozpin chuckled. “Think nothing of it, I didn’t mean to tease. But I believe I went ahead of myself in trying to lighten the mood, and interrupted your trip down memory lane…?”
As the words came out, she tried to follow what he was leading to. Confused at first, but after a moment’s thought, she remembered. “Oh! Oh yeah, I was explaining when I started to have feelings for Tai?” He nodded. “Where was I-? I remember now. So, yeah, somewhere third year I just began to notice the little things about him, habits, ticks, mannerisms. How he’d liven up the place and make you feel at home with his jokes and banter and little bonding activities he’d drag the team into. All that small stuff. Even during our first year, he was a help in wrangling the Branwen siblings into any social space, and we bonded over teaching them both about societal norms that they’ve never understood from their upbringing.” Summer cupped her elbow with a hand, immersed in nostalgia, “It felt like we were a team, a duo, on many occasions. And he also sort of filled the sociability quota of the team at the time. Minus me doing my best to lead, Tai really helped bring us all together.”
“And,” her smile turned wistful now, “things just started from there. I’d look at him and get a warm feeling in my chest, or brief physical contact would leave me focusing on that spot more than I should. He’d go on and on about whatever topic he found funny or interested in, and I’d listen as if he were talking to me personally.”
“And then Miss Branwen was factored in.”
Summer sighed, the lighter mood having depleted as she went on through her memories. “And then Raven became interested. I tried my best, you know. To get his attention, that is. But Tai was always enamored with her for so long that I never really minded his affection until it began to hurt. To get hurt by him friendzoning me because he couldn’t – wouldn’t look at me the same way, because he already has his sights for someone else.”
He looked at her apologetically, empathetic. Maybe he was in her shoes, once upon a time. That was good, because she couldn’t deal with anyone’s pity at her sorry state. “I’m sure he didn’t mean to come off that way.”
“I know. He was completely sincere about it, too. Whenever I’d try to make a move on him, he’d either not understand the hint, or he would misconstrue my message into something more platonic.”
“Don’t I know the feeling.” He nodded. “As wise as I make myself out to be, there was a start to my long life, long ago. Times where I not only stood where I am now, but stood also in your shoes, so to say. You could even say I’m acquainted to the feeling of love tarnished by external circumstances, so I’m not so unfamiliar to your plight.”
She didn’t reply immediately, taking in the small bit of his history. He had said he lived for at least two-thousand years, so maybe he – no, he definitely knew a thing or two about dealing with unrequited feelings. She looked back to her object of affection, and felt another pang of regret. Regret, jealousy, sadness, anger, envy. But also resignation. So, so much resignation. She clutched a hand to her chest, as if to ease the pain. “How… How do you deal with it?”
“Hm?”
“You know…” she said uncertainly, before motioning with her eyes, waving her arms toward the source of her current mood. “Dealing with… that. M- “she swallowed, “Moving on.”
The headmaster looked at her sadly, “It’s not so easy as simply ‘moving on’ as many would put it. Especially when you’re legally obligated to stay in close touch with each other to operate at full capacity as a team of huntsmen.”
Summer nodded quickly, “Exactly! I… I try not to bring the mood down. But look at us now,” she motioned around them, “It’s their wedding day. How could I ruin the celebration with my own selfish feelings just because my teammates married each other? I couldn’t! And I have to deal with this for the next who knows how long? It would destroy our team dynamics; everything would be awkward. Sure, maybe we would all come to terms with it, but how long would that take? I…” she gritted her teeth, fighting past the rush of shame threatening to overtake her. “I can’t handle that.”
Not once did his concerned gaze stray throughout her spiel. Ozpin continued to look at her, mouth drawn in a thin line, perhaps thinking up something for her rut in his head. It felt like the moment between them stretched on. Her, desperate for a solution to her pained heart, him, deliberating in his worry for her.
Finally, he spoke. “I’ll be completely frank. I think the best course of action would be to wait for their honeymoon period to pass and for them to settle down in their new roles as husband and wife, before seeking closure with Mr. Xiao Long in private. But,” he added quickly when he saw her face contort in further distress at that idea. “alternatively, you can find something to take your mind off of it. A distraction per say. I’m not saying you should ignore the issue, oh no. I’m saying you should find something of a hobby of sorts. You can be professional when needs be, yes?” She nodded. “Good. Then I suggest finding something to do when you aren’t pressed on missions with them, so that you could passively acclimate to your new dynamic as a team.”
She thought about it, even the first solution he proposed that she already felt sinking dread for. It wouldn’t do for her to continue sulking when she’s on the job. A moment of distraction could get them killed on the field, no matter their prowess as the strongest team of their year. If she were to go with the former solution and wait for a comfortable time to come clean. How long would that be? How long until she found the nerve? If she continued down her current path, how long would it be until they inevitably noticed and confronted her, and made her spill?
Confessing all her bottled feelings to Taiyang was one thing, but if they both found out and pressed the issue at the same time – that would be a disaster. Tai would have to deal with his leader and teammate, who he is obligated to serve with, being hurt by him in a way completely out of his control. And Raven would have to deal with the same issue, except Summer would be a homewrecker in her eyes and she couldn’t predict the prickly girl’s response in the long term with how possessive she can sometimes be.
Maybe they could all get used to it, in time. Maybe Summer could put her feelings behind her and move on. But it would become a lingering tension that followed them wherever they went, influencing their interactions for the foreseeable future. A future she wouldn’t dare for her team to become.
And Qrow, poor Qrow, would be stuck in the middle of it all. Summer shuddered. Forced to tip-toe around the eggshells that were his teammates lest he set something off.
But if she could take her mind off of it outside missions? Something she could do to better use her energy than wallowing in misery, so that in time, she could put this all behind her without risking their happiness?
She’d take it. In a heartbeat.
And it wasn’t like it would be ignoring the issue, right? Once she had put herself back together, she could settle this issue with Tai once and for all. She would have that conversation under complete – or realistically, as much control and composure as she could.
…Totally.
With a gameplan, or at least a first course of action finally decided, Summer brought her attention back to her waiting former-teacher. “I think that would be a good idea. I’ll find something to do, eventually, and in time I’ll get used to it.” She smiled as best she could.
Ozpin returned it. “I’m glad. If you want, I could cut back on the missions requiring all of STRQ present. Minus our clandestine operations, I could suggest simpler jobs. Patrols, nest clearing, stationing, and so on and so forth that don’t necessarily require an entire team.”
She nodded resolutely, “Thank you, Oz. I’ll consider your offer.”
With a silent nod of his own, Ozpin took a step past her, but instead of walking past, reached a hand to place on her shoulder. Surprised silvers met firm but gentle browns. “Remember, it’s all well and good to take the time to collect yourself, but don’t let it grow out of control as to distract you from your true goal in mind; To seek closure and peace.”
Stunned by his words, a second or so passed before Summer regained her composure, nodding again. “Right. Thank you again.”
He smiled softly, saying nothing more before patting her once and walking to the food stalls.
She watched him as he walked, his words flittering through her mind and trying to take root. She looked back to where the couple of the day were. Taiyang smiling happily, his eyes so full of someone else, Raven being a grouch, but a grouch to practically anybody but him, losing the battle to will down the fond smile on her lips.
Yet again, ugly emotions warred within her. Jealousy, envy, sadness, longing, anger over Taiyang never once understanding the hints she kept dropping him throughout their time at Beacon conflicting with her guilt, kindness, morals of conceding to Raven and allowing Tai to choose whoever he wants to be with in life.
And if that isn’t her…
Then she’ll just have to get over it and move on.
Summer inhaled, and let out a long, long breath. Their image of bliss now burnt into her mind; she let go and mentally stepped back. In time, she would come to accept their love. Their devotion to one another. And she wouldn’t be the type of asshole to secretly wish for them to break-up for her sake. She would never. No matter how much it hurts right now.
But in the meantime, in order to not hinder any team dynamics or give anything away, she needed to do something to take her mind off of it.
She needed a distraction.