Chapter Text
Clint sat at a seedy bar in Hell’s Kitchen and knocked back his shot of vodka. Maybe it was stupid, being in New York, being so close to so many people who had a vested interest in either killing him or capturing him but he didn’t know where else to go. He tapped the bar for another shot and thought back to recent events.
*~~~~~*
Clint hung up the phone after Steve’s brief phone call and looked at his wife. “Laura…”
“No! You promised me! You promised! After Sokovia, after the accords you said you were done!” Laura said shaking her head.
“Cap needs my help. I have go.” Clint said with a sigh. “Laura you know I wouldn’t do this if it wasn’t…”
“No Clint, I really don’t. How many times are we going to have this conversation,” Laura said walking over to him and cupping his cheeks. “Clint… please.”
Clint sighed and kissed her forehead. “I’m sorry Laura. I have go. I owe a debt.” He pulled away from her.
“I’m sorry too,” Laura said watching him head for the stairs. “I won’t be here when you get back Clint,” she said and saw him pause on the stairs. “I can’t compete… I guess I never could.”
*~~~~~*
Clint tossed back the shot and sighed, if he was honest with himself she was right. The thrill of the fight, the adrenaline rush as he lined up his shot, he was never going to be happy settling down, living the life she wanted him to live, the life of a farmer. It might have been his grandparents, it might have been his parents, but it wasn’t him. Vision had told him to think about the consequences of his actions and he had thought them out. He knew he was losing Laura when he left to go save Wanda and pick up Scott, he just didn’t know he was going to lose everything.
*~~~~~*
“…you’re grown up. You’ve got a wife and kids. I don’t understand why you didn’t think of them before choosing the wrong side,” Tony said looking through the glass at Barton.
Clint’s eyes got wide and he looked ready to kill. He’d trusted Tony with the information on his family. No one knew about his family and here Tony was, casually throwing the information around when he knew, he knew that Ross had eyes on ears on all of them. He wasn’t mad at Tony before all this, not really. They were all just doing what they thought was right, but now. He got up and slammed his hands against the glass wall.
“You better watch your back with this guy!” Clint exclaimed, anger dripping from each word. “Chances are he’s gonna break it!” He practically snarled, glaring Tony down as he moved away from Clint.
*~~~~~*
Tony had betrayed him, maybe not intentionally, the small part of Clint that wanted to still think there was good in Tony added in, but that didn’t stop what happened after he had been broken out of The Raft by Steve. It didn’t change the fact that not only did he lose his wife, he lost any shot at seeing his kids, possibly ever again. Not after Ross went to Laura. Not after he invaded Clint’s home, the only real safe place he’d ever had. He ordered another shot and downed it quickly trying to forget the phone call after he’d gotten free. But that conversation, the absolute despise in Laura’s tone, would be burned into his brain for the rest of his life.
*~~~~~*
“Hello?” Laura asked, curious at the unknown number that was calling her cell phone.
“Laura,” Clint said softly, there were so many things he wanted to ask, he wanted to say, yet at the sound of her voice he’d lost his train of thought completely.
“Clint,” Laura said crisply, her voice like ice. “I hope it was worth it.”
“Laura, I had…”
“You had to do nothing Clint! NOTHING! You risked everything for these people!” Laura yelled at him.
“Laura! I had to. I know you don’t understand, and you never will. But these people are my family too!” Clint exclaimed softly.
“Family! Well, enjoy them. They’re your only family now,” Laura said harshly. “I talked to Ross.”
Clint’s heart stopped for a second, “You what?”
“I talked to Ross, he made it quite clear to me. We’re done Clint. I’ve already got the paperwork in order. I’m getting sole custody of the kids,” Laura told him without hesitation.
Clint closed his eyes against the tears that threatened just then, she was taking his kids, “You can’t do this.”
“You made your choices Clint, the day you walked out that door, you showed me where your priorities were. They weren’t with us,” Laura told him. “You think a judge is going to side with an international fugitive over a distraught wife? Think again Hawkeye. You should have seen this coming,” she said hanging up on him.
*~~~~~*
Clint closed his eyes tightly, trying not to think about his kids. He wondered what Laura had told them, wondered how the felt, wondered if they thought that he’d abandoned them. God he really wanted to punch Tony right in his smug little bastardly face. He thought about that thought for a minute. That’s what he wanted to do. That’s what he was going to do. “Fuck it, I’ve already lost everything, if I get caught, it’ll be worth it,” he said to no one as he slapped cash down on the bar to pay for his tab and tip.
As he walked outside of the bar he knew he needed to figure out a way up to the compound, he was in no shape to drive. He pulled out his burner phone and dialed a number he knew from memory. “Kate… it’s Clint. I need a ride to the compound,” he said when she answered the phone. He knew she’d demand an explanation and he’d give it to her, after she picked him up.