Work Text:
Hua Cheng had been in love with Xie Lian since- forever. Xie Lian didn't know, could never know, Hua Cheng would never tell him. He was a bit too afraid of what would happen.
He was insecure, but even if he wasn't, he knew he wasn't good enough for him. Xie Lian was good and kind, he was nothing like that, he deserved everything and he could never give him enough.
Hua Cheng didn't deserve him.
Even then he had been given the greatest gift, Xie Lian was his best friend since highschool, they lived together, ever since they finished college.
It had been extremely shameless of him to suggest it, saying that they could save money if they moved in together and divided rent. Xie Lian had happily accepted, and that was how they ended up in a small apartment where they spent most days on the couch of the living room, an arm's length away from each other as they watched movies.
Hua Cheng would been content with that and nothing more.
He Xuan had tried to convince him multiple times to confess, all in vain. "You should tell him, you can't spend all your life waiting for him. What if he finds someone else? I'm not dealing with you if he does."
He didn't want to listen.
He didn't care enough to, if he had to wait for Xie Lian then he'd wait 800 years and more, and if he got with someone else... as long as Xie Lian was happy he'd be too. He would just want to keep in contact with him, still be his friend, see him every day.
...
Fate had other plans.
And it all came out one evening.
Shi Qingxuan, Xie Lian's obnoxious friend and He Xuan's boyfriend, had invited them both to one of their parties. Xie Lian was going, and as annoying as it was to be surrounded by strangers and loud people, he wanted to spend each moment with him.
The party was as always, a little less crowdy today being the middle of the week. It was almost winter, the temperature was a bit chilly so there was no pool tonight, which Hua Cheng had to be grateful for, he could only get so many glances at Xie Lian's wet skin before losing his mind.
Everyone was inside, the music was loud and echoing on the walls, Shi Qingxuan's had gathered people around them to play games. Xie Lian joined and so did he.
It would've been a little fun perhaps, if not every game had included some sort of highly alcoholic beverage.
Seriously, someone- probably He Xuan, needed to keep the wine and beers from Shi Qingxuan's parties. Hua Cheng had never been bad handling his alcohol, he was able to drink plenty and still keep his head clear.
Xie Lian on the other hand...
He got drunk quickly after just two drinks, and after a couple more rounds of a game it was getting dangerously close to being too much, and as much as he liked seeing him absolutely destroy those fools in games even while drunk, it was time to stop.
The last thing he wanted was Xie Lian to wake up and feel absolutely miserable tomorrow.
So he gently pulled him away from everyone, hoping to get him home so he could rest, but Xie Lian slurred a few words, wanting to stay a little more, something about being rude if they left.
Hua Cheng ended up giving in, only making Xie Lian stop with the games, he took the light white sweater he had brought and put it on him, taking him outside to breathe fresh air instead of whatever fumes they had inside, keep him away from the noise too.
Is was nice, quiet. No one was outside, everyone was inside playing those drinking games or in one of the multiple rooms of Shi Qingxuan's house doing gods knew what. They sat on a bench, it wasn't that cold but it was pretty windy. And it didn't take long for Xie Lian, with the alcohol in his blood reducing his body heat, to begin shivering.
Hua Cheng took off his jacket and placed it quietly over Xie Lian's shoulders.
"Thank you, San Lang..." Xie Lian slurred, looking at him with a smile that could rival the sun, his cheeks and nose flushed a wonderful red, half because of the alcohol, half because of the cold; pulling the jacket closer to himself.
"Mn, no problem Gege." He replied with a smile, pushing himself off to not stare so obviously at such a gorgeous man.
They stayed like that for a moment in the quiet, until Xie Lian started shivering again. Hua Cheng was about to ask if he was still cold when saw it, tears, Xie Lian was crying.
"Gege? Gege, what's wrong?" He asked, fussing over his beloved as he continued to shake, tears sliding off his cheeks that stayed there because Xie Lian didn't bother to wipe them out, and Hua Cheng didn't dare.
Xie Lian kept sobbing, hugging the jacket closer to himself, bringing a hand up only to clean his nose with his sleeve.
"San Lang... San Lang I don't know what to do." Xie Lian whispered, half slurred.
"About what, Gege? What's wrong?" He asked, immediately on his knees in front of his beloved, grabbing one of his hands and squeezing it tight. "What's wrong, Gege? Won't you tell me?" He pleaded.
"I- I think I'm in l-love with you." He hiccuped around a sob, and Hua Cheng's heart didn't know if it should burst or break. "San Lang- I'm in love with you!" He sobbed.
He couldn't even think of a response, couldn't process if this was a good or a horrible thing before he continued-
"Wh-what... what should I do, San Lang?" He hiccupped, looking at him with those eyes that he loved, shining with tears that kept falling, pleading at him for an answer. "You- you'll tell me w-what to do, right?" He whimpered and whispered. "You always tell me what I should do..."
"Gege... I-" he hesitated.
"I don't k-know what I should do..." He hiccuped. "I can't tell San Lang..."
Drunk, Xie Lian was too drunk, Hua Cheng shouldn't let him keep going, he didn't even know what or to who he was really talking... and yet- "Why can't you tell me?"
"I h-heard San Lang say... that he has a beloved..." he sobbed.
Hua Cheng froze.
"When- ... what did you hear?"
"I-I heard him talking to so-someone... probably He Xuan... or Y-yin Yu, San Lang doesn't talk to anyone else... well- I thought he didn't... but-" Xie Lian swallowed, squeezing his hand tighter as a new batch of tears fell from his cheeks. "He- he was talking about his beloved... he said, th-that it was a childhood love..." He whimpered. "I don't... I feel bad..."
"Bad?"
"San Lang is g-good... and sweet, and kind..., S-san Lang deserves everything... he should... h-he should be with his beloved but- I don't want him to b-be with them."
Hua Cheng stood silent, staring at Xie Lian's furrowed brows and pouty lips.
"I k-know that's bad, I should- San Lang should be happy... with them... but I don't w-want them to be with San Lang..."
Jealous, his beloved was jealous.
If he couldn't hear his heart hammering against his ribs he would say that he was dead and this was all a trick, something made up in his mind.
"You ... you should tell me, how you feel."
"No!" Xie Lian shouted, shaking his head vigorously, making himself dizzy. "I-I can't!"
He raised a brow, steadying him with a hand. "Why not?"
"I can't- I can't tell him... I don't w-wanna burden him..." he hiccuped, "I can't-" he sobbed, "I can't lose him."
"You wouldn't, I promise."
"S-san Lang doesn't know that... wh-what if he doesn't wa-wanna live with me no more? O-or if he stops being my friend?!" He panicked, gripping Hua Cheng's hand tighter and shaking his head. "I can't- I won't tell him!"
He already had.
"Gege." He called, cupping his face. Xie Lian immediately melted. "Since- since when have you felt this way?"
"Since... we graduated highschool."
"Oh... oh, Gege." Daringly he swipped his thumb across his cheek, wiping some of the tears as his beloved let a content sigh, nuzzling against his palm.
"What if I told you I felt the same?" He murmured pressing their faces together, noses almost brushing. Xie Lian giggled.
"Th-that'd be nice..." He murmured back, leaning in further. "Is- is this a dream?"
"Hm? Why would Gege think that?"
"S-san Lang... always returns my feelings in m-my dreams." Hua Cheng's breath got caught in his throat at the admission.
"Yeah? Gege dreams about this?"
"Mhm."
"What else does Gege dream about?" He nuzzled his nose against his.
"... S-san Lang k-kissing me..."
He raised a brow, swearing that his heart stopped for a moment. "Oh?"
"Y-yeah.."
"Would Gege like me to kiss him then?"
Shameless.
Wasn't he taking advantage of this moment? Before he could take the question back though Xie Lian nodded, dizzily pressing even closer until their lips were a mere breath apart.
"Y-yes... I'd.. I'd l-like that."
Tempting, so tempting.
He looked down at Xie Lian's lips, half opened, inviting. He shouldn't, he really shouldn't, but he couldn't help but press his lips against his. Soft, so soft.
Xie Lian hummed against him, sighing out a low moan. Hua Cheng pressed even closer, letting go of his hand to cup the back of his head as Xie Lian's arms wrapped around his neck.
They pressed closer, keeping like that until the need for breath was too much to ignore.
Even then he kept stealing little kisses to the corner of Xie Lian's lips as he giggled.
"Was that good?" He asked, pressing a kiss to his nose, Xie Lian laughed, content, his arms tightening around him.
"Mhm... very..." He said, a smile on his lips as his eyes began to drop.
He couldn't stop pampering kissed across his cheek, his lips, his forehead, completely overwhelmed with the feeling of being able to do so. But once he noticed Xie Lian struggling to keep his eyes open and fighting off yawns he stopped.
"Tired?"
Xie Lian shook his head.
"No... 'm not..." He yawned, his head dropping over Hua Cheng's shoulder, body sagging forward.
"Gege can sleep, I'll take him home."
"I d-don't wanna sleep..." He hiccuped.
"Hm, why not? Gege seems pretty tired."
"I wanna s-stay with San Lang..."
"We live together, that won't be a problem, Gege can sleep."
"No... San Lang won't feel the same about me if I wake up..."
Hua Cheng's heart squeezed, Xie Lian still thought this was a dream, and he could understand, a part of him also didn't believe this was real yet.
"Gege has nothing to worry about."
"Promise?" Xie Lian slurred as Hua Cheng shifted him to grab onto his back and knees, before lifting him up and carrying him bridal style.
"Promise."
Xie Lian tightened his grip on his neck, but ended up losing the battle against his exhaustion and falling asleep.
Hua Cheng took him back to his car, uncaring that they didn't even say they were leaving.
Everyone was too drunk to even realize that they had gone outside in the first place.
So he took Xie lIan back to their apartment, carrying him and only lightly struggling to open the door.
He set Xie Lian down in his bed, taking off his shoes before taking off both the jacket and the sweater he had put on him, gently freeing his hair from the half up do he had done that evening.
Hua Cheng sat on the edge of the bed as Xie Lian snuggled the pillows, pulling the covers over him and brushing a few strands of hair back since they had caught in his mouth.
"Beautiful." He whispered to the air.
Just as he was about to stand up and leave to his room he felt a hand tugging his sleeve.
"Won't... won't San Lang stay?" Xie Lian whispered softly, one eye half open and looking at him sadly as he added, "Please...?"
Hua Cheng's heart finally bursted, and unable to deny his beloved anything he complied, "Of course."
Xie Lian smiled at him sleepily, but no less bright.
Hua Cheng discarded his boots and climbed up into the bed with Xie Lian. It was a tight fit, since the bed was an individual one, but neither seemed to mind as Xie Lian happily buried his face in Hua Cheng's chest, using the arm he so graciously offered as a pillow and settled with a content hum.
He was already passed out by the time Hua Cheng brushed his hair back, pressing a kiss against his temple as he murmured. "Goodnight, gege."
-
Hua Cheng woke up slowly for a change, later that he normally would, he didn't need to work today but he liked to wake up to make Xie Lian food before he had to wake up for his earliest shifts.
He knew Xie Lian didn't work until later, so he had time.
He couldn't feel his arm, but he didn't mind one bit, not when it was Xie Lian who lay on it the whole night.
He leaned down to place a kiss on Xie Lian's forehead, only to find two golden orbes already staring up at him confused before he had the chance to do it.
"Good morning, gege."
Xie Lian's eyes widened, a flush spreading on his cheeks and down his neck.
"M-morning, San Lang..."
They stayed quiet for a second, staring at each other before Hua Cheng's hand brushed Xie Lian's messy bed hair back.
"Had a nice sleep?"
Xie Lian's hands, that were on his chest tightened their grip on his shirt for a second, before realizing he still had his head over Hua Cheng's arm, his face turning a bright red as he sprung up from the bed.
"S-sorry! I- I didn't mean to use San Lang as a pillow..." he muttered, looking down on the sheets.
Hua Cheng sighed and pulled himself upwards.
"This one wouldn't mind being gege's pillow more often." he teased, leaning closer until he was almost nuzzling against Xie Lian's shoulder.
Xie Lian shivered as he blew air near his neck.
"D-don't tease San Lang..."
"It's the truth." He murmured. Xie Lian hesitated then, looking back at him and then at the covers.
"S-san Lang?"
"Hm?"
"A-about yesterday... um... I didn't-" he whined. "I hope I didn't inconvenience San Lang that much..."
"Gege-"
"I... don't remember much... but I- I-" He whispered bringing a hand up to his lips, looking half flustered half horrified. "I... I'm sorry."
"Why is Gege sorry for?"
"I... I overstepped, I.... I kissed San Lang... I-I probably said things I shouldn't ... it's not like I didn't want to kiss you!" Xie Lian quickly corrected, rambling on "B-but I shouldn't have! I- no! Y-you have a beloved! And I- I don't- shouldn't have-" tears started a new in his eyes, taking a deep and shaking breath as he clutched at the sheets "I'm sorry..."
Hua Cheng stayed quiet, until it was clear Xie Lian wasn't going to keep talking.
"Gege, it's true, I have a beloved someone." Xie Lian sucked in a breath, refusing to look at him. "He's the most incredible person I have met, brave, smart, kind. I met him when I was young, and I have admired him ever since." He said, taking one of his hands that were clutching the sheets and squeezing it. "And although he might not remember me, I would never forget him."
"I... San Lang seems to appreciate this person a lot."
"Yes, I love him."
Xie Lian looked at him conflicted, wiping out the incoming tears with his sleeve, putting up the brightest smile he could muster, although it didn't quite shine like his usual ones. "I'm sure this person makes San Lang happy."
"En, very."
Xie Lian faltered, his eyes devastated as he fought to keep the smile. He ended up turning away.
"I... I see."
Hua Cheng sighed. "Gege, do you remember school?"
"Huh? I- a little... it seems like it was ages ago..." He murmured, confused.
"Does gege remember a little kid, scrawny and dirty, who was always alone, hiding in the park and covering bruises underneath his clothes?"
Xie Lian eyes seemed to light up in recognition, but he didn't speak.
"Gege helped that kid..." he sighed.
"You did your best to protect him from his abusive dad and stepmother. He got taken from that house and got taken into foster care with gege's help. That kid grew up, swearing to find you again, and he did." Xie Lian stopped breathing. "He found you, and you became his friend, you made him laugh and feel safe, and he could finally put a name to the feeling that bloomed in his chest everytime he saw you ... he fell in love with you."
"Hong-er..." Xie Lian whispered in a breathless sound.
"En."
"You- but, me?" Hua Cheng chuckled, cupping his cheek.
"Yes, you."
"You're Hong-er and- your beloved?"
"You, only ever you." He reassured, squeezing his hand and brushing his tears with his thumb.
"You- you mean it?"
"I have never meant anything more in my life."
"S-san Lang... yesterday when we-"
"Kissed?" He asked, nuzzling against his shoulder.
"I- yeah... did- did San Lang mean that too?"
"I did." He whispered, lifting his head so it could be right next to Xie Lian's, their noses almost brushing. "I'd love more of gege's kisses."
Xie Lian immediately hid his face in his chest, his cheeks flushed a bright red once more. "San Laaang." he whined.
"Hm, I mean it, does gege want me to show him how sincere I am?" He questioned lifting his shoulder to pull Xie Lian away from his face, cupping his cheek.
"... yes."
Hua Cheng brought their faces together, their mouths a single breath apart. They closed the distance pretty quickly, lips slotting together perfectly.
Xie Lian's lips were soft and they parted for him eagerly, and he explored the wet heat of his mouth, savoring the faint taste of sleep and the cherry drink Xie Lian had last night. His beloved's arms wrapped around his neck and he pulled him closer by his waist.
Xie Lian let out pretty moans and sighs and Hua Cheng groaned around them.
It was only after they were both in need for breath that they parted, Xie Lian panting as he came down to kiss his cheeks, his jaw, his nose, every part of him he could reach.
"San Lang." Xie Lian giggled when he kissed his ear, pulling his face away to look at him with lingering tears in his eyes, flushed cheeks and the brightest smile he had ever seen on him.
"Was that sincere enough for gege?"
"Mmm... can San Lang show me again?" He whispered shyly, tightening his grip around his neck, leaning forward until their lips brushed together, golden eyes looking up at him.
"Gege... you'll be the death of me." He murmured before pushing forward, lips pressing together again as Xie Lian fell backwards with him on top.
...
They kissed until Xie Lian's stomach rumbled, empty since last night.
Hua Cheng gave him water and made his now new boyfriend breakfast.
Nothing changed too drastically, they ate and chatted with each other and then fell into the couch, Xie Lian now in his lap as they traded kisses between each other, not paying attention to the movie they had put on.
Safe to say later He Xuan got a call, which he was not too thrilled about, but instead Shi Qingxuan squealed over the phone at the news.
Xie Lian smiled brighter and got home to collapse in his boyfriend's arms.
...
Hua Cheng had been in love with Xie Lian since- forever.
And now he knew, and it was perfect.