Chapter Text
Trust—such a foreign languge it is. Expressions used to explain this word tunnel deeper than the English language could ever make it out to be. Gentle understandings could convey emotions larger than any story could. In this world, it simply is a treasure to even find such a thing. Precious. Hidden from the world above and only rewarded to those of good intentions.
Did Rin have good intentions? He thought he did. But clearly it seems that there may have been a miscommunication as the people around start fading into black fog surrounding him.
No—trust ruined him first. Trusting his brother not to focus on his soccer career more than him was the full reason he was the way he is today. So each passing month that seem to slug on longer with each step he takes, the more his belief for the word '"trust" seems to float off. The simple truth in Rin's eyes is that no one can be trusted.
Who could he trust when even his family shattered the only thing that made them "family"?
"Ah, I didn't know ya'd be here, Rin."
Rin dislikes unnecessary surprises. He dislikes being around people he considers lower than him. An unintentional habit that sprung up as he grew into the person he is today. Yet, something draws him closer to the one known as "Hiori Yo". He's… interesting. In a way. Perhaps it's the gentleness in his eyes that sparkle from the flashing screens, replaying played matches over and over to no end. Or maybe it's that smile. A smile sits upon his face—nervous but still as tender as he is off-field.
Rin doesn't know much about the others—he doesn't exactly care to check either. After all, all he knows is to be number one. Hiori probably knows this too. Still, he sits next to Rin; a hand on his shoulder with light force. But the hand pulls back, a small blanket of warmth slowly fading from what was the hand of another.
"Sorry, did I surprise ya? I didn't mean ta touch ya so suddenly."
Did he flinch? Or is his face creating some sort of emotion that relates to Hiori's thought process? Whatever it is, Rin shrugs it off, only offering a short glance towards Hiori's tilting head.
"It's nothing. Piss off."
It's shaky. It's vulnerable. It's not packed with the certain kick he usually seemed to have on-field. Hiori notices—of course he does. All because Rin decided to be the bigger idiot of the two and shiver from a feeling he doesn't even know how to explain. Still, it bubbles up somewhere underneath him. Hiori's lips part. Rin's gaze drift off somewhere. Anywhere but to the other being beside him.
"My-… I… like this place. Do ya?"
"As long it keeps pushing me to be number one. I don't really care."
"Did ya come here because ya wanted to be number one?"
Rin pauses.
"Yes."
Hiori pauses this time. Rin feels his gaze flicker away from his figure. He feels the muscles tensing, curling up closer—tighter. He was never good at figuring out emotions. Sometimes, he can't even get a hold of his own.
Still, he could feel the way Hiori's body seem to tremble just slightly.
"I… That's good. I guess I came here 'cause… I find it as an escape. For me."
He stays silent, simply letting the other curl up tighter. The match that replays on screen once more simply another hum in the background.
"I-I'm sorry. I don't wanna bother ya. Uhm, have a good night, Rin."
Suddenly, he's getting up and scrambling for the door, taking a huge interest at the walls in the room. The door swishes close—he's gone. Rin's gaze lingers towards the heavy door; he's not sure why. Perhaps, just maybe, he's waiting. Waiting for him to stumble back in with a soft smile on his face, a warm touch on Rin's shoulder, and more words to spill with that amorous voice of his.
Did Rin need to wait all night just for the next person to bound into the room and get rudely shoved out by him the next day? No. Did he need to take subtle glances around the room to spot a striking little cyan hair strand amid the other people around him? No. Did he need to memorise every little detail he did, no matter it be from eating to training? Absolutely not. Heck, it makes him look like a stalker.
But he can't help it. He wants to feel what Hiori feels. He wants to understand what he's saying. He wants to listen to him speak, to pat his back, to congratulate him, and to… hug him. To just be there with him.
He's only lucky that there were no mind-readers in Blue Lock or there would've been homicide to clean.
"Ya don't seem to be at yer best, Mr. Not-So-Average. What's on yer mind?"
Tabito Karasu. Third best in this whole damn pentagon of a building. Annoying, but Rin had to admit, he wasn't half bad. Rin clicks his tongue, clearly ready to walk off the bed if any wrong word is chosen.
"Why should I tell you, Stupid Crow?"
Karasu rubs a hand to his chin.
"I'll guess. It's something to do with Hiori."
Rin freezes. Karasu's ever growing grin widens at the slight reaction. He slides into the space of what would've been Yukimiya's bed but is now temporarily named as Karasu's. Perhaps Rin's a bit obvious with the peeking, the unfocused kicks, and the too much indulgence in his own mind. It's so bad, even the sloth man could guess something's up.
"I can give ya tips. He likes it real simple, bits of flowers or maybe just gam-"
"Would you zip it??"
Karasu raises an eyebrow, blinking at his words.
"I am not thinking about that stupid- stupid lukewarm loser! Telling me stuff about how to make him happy isn't going to help me at all! Everyone here is absolutely terrible and I can't find a reason to even like any of you!"
Karasu's smile shifts dramatically, his eyebrows furrowing with mild annoyed crease. He leans closer to Rin with his eyes narrowing steadily. Rin stays put, glaring back as if he's close to ripping Karasu's face off.
Karasu lifts his head a little higher.
"Then why do ya keep thinking of him? Why are ya never here rather up there with him in mind? Especially after that night when ya two—barely—talked? If yer that blind and dead to not feel yerself wanting more, than I don't know what ta tell ya."
Rin falls silent. Not because Karasu was louder than him but because of his words. They ripped him internally piece by piece, shredding whatever wall he had up to hide whatever emotions swirled deep beneath his exterior. He's right. Even if he didn't want to believe it, Rin knows. He knows just how deep he had gone; still denying anything and everything.
It's a sudden wave of realisation. Doesn't hurt, doesn't push him back. It's a gentle splash against his feet.
"I…"
Karasu sighs beside him.
"Hiori's waiting fer ya. He'll continue ta wait fer ya as long as yer willing."
As long as he's willing. Funny. Usually, he'd turn the offer down in seconds. There were more important things to think about other than feelings anyway. Yet, he sits there in contemplation and watch the crumpled sheets of his blanket fold from the movement of his legs. Karasu's body shuffle out of a room a minute or two later but Rin barely pays any attention towards him.
The door shuts. Nagi's snore from the other bed fill the room. Rin's mind is a complete mess. Everything he's known, he's believed, it's all just another illusion coming into light. His whole body is begging down on its knees to follow instincts—pretend the feelings aren't real and just another hoax to drive him further away from his goal. But a small part of him wants it to be real. He wants to have whatever feeling he's slowly reaching his hand out for.
It feels wrong—so wrong. But it feels absolutely perfect.
"Oh, Rin. Did Karasu come b- Oh."
Yukki's voice came to a halt as he stares down the absolute mess of a bed Karasu had made while in the room. Truth be told, Rin hadn't asked for the reason for Karasu's visit to their side of the room.
"I'm gonna kill that crow…"
Rin lets the soft mumbles of Yukki's complaints drift him into another dreamless sleep.