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0.
A tired mother looks down at her cherub-cheeked child for the first time. After months of waiting and hours of pain, she is rewarded with a beautiful baby boy wrapped and held closely to her chest. She presses a soft kiss to the top of his head, inhaling that intoxicating new baby smell, and whispers,
“Happy Birthday Dean.”
1.
A simple vanilla cake with pale icing and bright sprinkles sits on the high chair tray table. The child giggles as he smashes his tiny fists into the cake, and his family and friends watch him happily grasp handfuls to try to shovel into his mouth. In the corner, his father smiles to himself as he cuts a marble cake that reads,
“Happy 1st Birthday Dean.”
5.
Dean spends his first motherless birthday with his head in a Scooby-Doo coloring book on a motel table. It hasn’t been 3 months since Mary died and everything still feels wrong inside. Dean continues to look around silently, as he has since that terrible November night when he carried his baby brother down the stairs and out the door. After dinner at the motel, John brings over a chocolate cupcake, singing Happy Birthday as a single candle flame dimly lights the motel room they’ve been inhabiting for weeks. John encourages him to make a wish, so Dean closes his eyes tightly and blows out the candle. John looks at Dean with watery eyes, recognizing the features inherited from Mary. Without a word, Dean unwraps his cupcake, breaks it in half, and offers one side to his father with a soft smile. John accepts with a thank you, and once they finish their treat, he wraps Dean in a hug and wishes,
“Happy Birthday Dean.”
6.
John pulls up to the elementary school Dean has been enrolled in for less than a month. Dean throws his backpack in and hops into the backseat of the Impala. Before John pulls away, he peers back at Dean and asks,
“You wanna ride in the front today?”
Dean leaps at the opportunity to sit alongside his father and eagerly climbs over the front seat, almost kicking John in the face in the process. John shakes his head with a warning,
“Woah, buddy! Watch the feet! The front seat ain’t gonna disappear on you.”
John chuckles lightly as he buckles the lap belt over a squirmy Dean, green eyes boring into the side of his head. Dean is still smiling from ear to ear as they pull into the diner parking lot and walk through the doors. As she guides them to their table, the waitress asks, “What’s the occasion for that smile?” and Dean looks away shyly leaving John to tell her,
“Don’t take it hard, he barely even talks to me, but today is his birthday.”
John orders them both cheeseburgers, and Sam has whatever flavored mush John feeds him. Dinner ends with a scoop of vanilla ice cream topped with a candle to celebrate Dean's birthday. The waitstaff sings Dean “Happy Birthday” and he gives a nearly silent but polite “thank you” before he makes his wish. It’s the same wish he made when he turned 5, for the hole in his family to be sewn back up. As they leave, their waitress makes sure to bend down and wish Dean a final soft,
“Happy Birthday Dean.”
10.
By the time Dean started talking again, his dad had given up on listening. John started finding himself at the bottom of a bottle, trying to forget Mary, but was greeted by her carbon-copied features each morning. It was no surprise that while every other parent brought cupcakes for the class to share when it was their child’s birthday, it’s not even on John’s radar. He likely spent that money on another six-pack of beer he didn’t need or maybe gas for leaving more towns behind.
His teacher notices the lack of sweets and takes the opportunity during small group, with a noisy class and occupied students, to bend down to ask, “Is your father coming to visit the class?”
Dean shakes his head no, so she nods and assures him that he will still have a great day at school. She runs out on her lunch break to get brownies for the class, and after recess they sing him “Happy Birthday” as a discordant group. This is the closest thing to a birthday party he can remember having. He is still smiling as he picks up Sam from the Kindergarten hallway. His grin becomes even wider as Sam hands him a card made of construction paper and crayon scribbles, where his teacher helped him write,
“Happy Birthday Dean.”
13.
Dean is officially a teenager when he wakes up to the sound of John slamming around a coffee pot. When Dean greets his father, all he gets is a gruff grumble demanding he get Sam ready for school and a reminder they better not miss the bus. Of course John forgets Dean's birthday in his hungover stupor. Dean shouldn’t be surprised, but it still hurts that his own dad can’t be sober enough to remember his son's birthday.
While they’re walking to the bus stop, Sam asks Dean, “What day is it?”
Dean promptly answers, “Friday, ya string bean, almost the weekend.”
“No, not the day of the week, the date.”
“Oh it’s the 24th, why? You got a big test today?”
Sam stops in his tracks, “It’s your birthday! Wait, why didn’t dad say anything? Do you think he forgot?”
“Nah he’s probably just waiting til later to wish me a happy birthday.”
Sam gives Dean a suspicious look, but instead of questioning he decides to say, “Well I'm not gonna wait, Happy Birthday Dean!” and pulls Dean into a hug.
John doesn’t remember later, and Dean didn’t expect him to. Sam tried a few times to remind John it was Dean’s birthday, but was leveled with a death glare from Dean at every attempt. Sam is frustrated but he lets it go, until Dean tucks him in for the night and he whispers a final
“Happy Birthday Dean.”
17.
Dean wakes up to the cheap motel alarm clock ringing at 6 am sharp as usual, and starts the process of getting Sammy ready for school. It doesn’t start until 8, but getting Sam up and at ‘em is a chore on its own. It doesn’t help Sam’s a smelly preteen who needs two showers a day to be anywhere near bearable to be around. John grumbles from the other side of the room,
“We’re goin’ shootin’ today, you boys still need the practice.”
Sam gives Dean a panicked look and Dean quietly reassures him, whispering,
“I’ll go call the school and tell them you’re not feelin’ good, so you won’t be in today. Now go hop in the shower and get ready.”
After Dean gets changed he finds his way to the payphone booth and calls the school, deepening his voice to mimic his father’s. When he gets back in the motel room, his father is banging around making coffee in a pot that might just be older than the Impala. John reaches for the mug in the sink and tells Dean,
“Once we’re done shootin’ today I’m gonna send you out to that salt and burn in Wyoming. We did the leg work together already. All you have to do is get to the church and find where those nuns are buried. Should be simple enough. Take the Impala, I want to work with Sam on a few of his skills while you’re gone.”
“Yes, sir.”
Shooting goes about as well as usual: Dean misses a few targets and gets accosted, but overall it’s not a bad morning. After they’re done shooting, John shoos Dean off to Wyoming and he is on his way listening to Led Zeppelin in no time.
It’s just after noon when he pulls up in front of the church. He sticks to plain clothes, and heads in to talk to the pastor. Dean finds out more about the nuns’ deaths, or at least the rumors of what happened. Dean’s research made him assume they were murdered one night in the convent, but it seems like it was much more than that. The pastor tells him that his great grandfather supposedly found them together one night and discovered they were in love with each other. Obviously, this was frowned upon, so they were told one of them would have to leave the convent, either taking a role in a different church, or leaving the church altogether. The couple was so distraught at the thought of their separation that the next morning they were found in bed curled into each other’s space. They had chosen to kill themselves rather than face the world apart. romantic. tragic. peaceful. and he was going to ruin all of it with the violence of a salt and burn.
He finds himself at the local liquor store, one that didn’t care one bit that Dean’s ID was fake, and he buys the cheapest whiskey he can get his hands on.
He spends the time digging out both of their graves and opening their caskets with the biggest knot in his stomach. He takes his pocket knife to the inner lining of one of the caskets. With the utmost care, Dean wraps the nun in the lining and picks her up. Tears in his eyes, he lifts her from her casket and above his head to place her on the ground beside the grave. Dean climbs his way out of the grave, tears now streaming down his face, determined to make this violent end as comforting as it can be. Tears are still falling, but Dean doesn’t bother to wipe his eyes before picking the nun back up and carrying her the few steps to her lover’s graveside. He places her down in the grass before lowering himself into the other grave and pulling her into it. He places her gingerly next to the love of her life and unwraps her body, so they can be as close to each other in death as they were in life. He apologizes as he looks down at the couple before climbing out of the grave. Dean continues to apologize as he goes through the motions of a salt and burn. The only noises in the graveyard are the pouring of gasoline and the repetition of “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I'm sorry” that falls from Dean’s mouth as steady as the tears fall from his eyes. Finally, as he lights the matchbook and throws it onto the lovers, he mutters to himself,
“Happy fucking birthday to me.”
21.
Sitting at a bar legally for the first time, he orders a Margiekugels and a shot of whiskey. Dean Winchester is no stranger to the seedy bars with low lighting and sticky stools, but this place is a bit classier. The bartender even asks for his I.D. and when she checks to confirm he is 21 she goes,
“Happy Birthday Dean.”
29.
This will be Dean Winchester’s final birthday on this Earth. He has less than three months left before the hellhounds drag him to be tortured for eternity, and while he may be scared, he would do it again in a heartbeat to save his baby brother. He isn’t trying to do anything special, but while he was at the bar last night he took someone home for a good time, obviously not a long time. He can’t fall asleep so he quietly collects his clothes getting dressed as quickly as possible before slinking out of the house. There’s no need to leave a note, he’ll be dead in three months. He scrapes the ice off the impala and goes for a drive, listening to his top zepp trax cassette with the heat blasting. When he finally comes back to the motel room, it’s around 8am and Sam is wide awake researching as always. When the door opens, Sam looks like he is instinctively looking for a weapon, but pulls out something wrapped in newspaper and chucks it straight at Dean’s head. “I’m surprised to see you this early, you seemed to be really hitting it off with your friend last night.”
“Well you know me Sammy, I don’t kiss and tell.”
Sam rolls his eyes, and gestures for Dean to open the present in his hands,
“Happy Birthday Jerk.”
30.
It’s a strange feeling being back after 40 years of hell, but according to his license Dean has only lived 30 years above ground. Dean is contemplating the fact that he has “lived” for longer in hell than he has on Earth, and that truly does fuck someone up. He hears the flap of wings, which still makes him jump, as Cas appears by the entryway. Dean is expecting a new mission from the big guy upstairs or whoever the fuck is running the show, but instead Cas sits on the bed, watching Dean, and just simply states,
“Happy Birthday Dean.”
31.
Sam is dead. This is Dean’s first birthday without his little brother. Even though they may not have been together every year, at least he knew Sam was out there, somewhere on earth, living his life. But not this year. Sam is dead, and Cas is gone, and Dean can’t do anything except try and find some normalcy in the arms of the Braeden family. Why Lisa let him walk through that door that night, he may never know, but he is grateful to have some semblance of family.
Even though Dean has been lying awake since Lisa tried to sneak out of bed this morning, he pretends to be asleep when he hears the hallway floor creak. Ben comes bounding through the door and jumps almost directly on Dean screaming, “Happy Birthday Dean!”
Dean gives a grumpy growl and fakes a stretch as he grabs Ben to tickle him into a fit of giggles. It takes approximately 15 seconds for Ben to admit defeat and yell, “Stop, Stop!! You have to see what mom and I made you!”
Dean finally gets to take a full look at Lisa, who is now standing by Dean’s side, holding a tray containing the perfect breakfast in bed. Lisa sets the tray down on Dean’s lap, gives him a quick kiss, and finally gets to wish him a happy birthday. Ben starts rambling on about how he helped his mom mix the chocolate chips into the batter because, obviously, those are the best kind of pancakes. The rest of the day isn’t anything particularly special, but they spend it as a family. After dinner, Lisa brings out a small cake with frosting that reads,
"Happy Birthday Dean!"
37.
Dean hasn’t spent much time at the bunker lately. When he does, all Sam can do is talk at him about the Mark of Cain and the consequences that are coming. As if Dean doesn’t know. As if Dean can’t feel himself starting to lose control. The only thing that curbs the desire for bloodshed is hunting, but no one can keep up with Dean. They all need sleep or food or rest, and can’t continually fight like Dean can.
The mark fuels him better than any drug he’s seen, so he just hunts, and hunts, and hunts. He can tell Sam is worried, that Cas is worried too, but they can’t do anything. Dean’s looked at every book in the bunker until his eyes felt like they were bleeding, he’s tortured demons and angels and everything in between trying to get any information he can, but there’s nothing. Cain kept everything under lock and key for so long that only the oldest monsters knew. Which blows since they basically hunted and killed most of the alphas three years ago. So it’s his birthday. It’s not a big deal, but someone could say he is celebrating by finding a big nest of vampires and going after them alone.
The mark sings as the machete slices through the final vampire’s neck, severing its head from its body and covering Dean's face with another splatter of blood. Dean walks away from the burning pile of bodies and, as he cleans the blood from his machete, he mutters to himself,
“Happy fucking birthday.”
40.
“One final birthday.” Dean mutters to himself as he packs up the box of his things. This isn’t the first time he has said this, but he’s determined to make it his last. He’s heading out of the bunker for the last time. He would usually take Sam with him, but he’d just figure out a way to talk Dean out of this. The Malek box is the only answer to saving the world from Michael, so he needs to leave Sam behind. He lies to Sam, claiming he wants time with Mary alone. Lies to Sam never settle right in his stomach, but he has to protect Sam. He has to save the world, so his baby brother can live the apple-pie life he deserves. Dean gets lunch with Donna, then convinces Mary to make ‘Winchester Surprise” for dinner. When she serves them both up slices of pie, she doesn’t forget to wish him,
“Happy Birthday Dean.”
Dead.
A grief-stricken brother steps out of a sleek black car with red puffy eyes and a sniffling nose. Heading to the gravestone of his big brother, he sits down leaning his left shoulder on the stone, sitting on the passenger side even now. He takes the metal flask out of his pocket and takes a swig of the cheap whiskey he and Dean frequently picked from whatever podunk liquor store they found on the road. He raises it to the sky quickly and dumps a swig on the grass in front of the stone. He sits there reminiscing about the years before and, just as the sun is setting, he gathers his things. He kisses his fingertips, places them on the cold stone and whispers through tears,
“Happy Birthday Dean”.
Dean Jr.
As he does every year on January 24th, Sam Winchester makes a trip to Lawrence, Kansas. Usually, this is taken alone, but this year he brings along the newest addition to his family. He climbs out of the sensible car he invested in after giving up hunting and opens the back door. He reaches in to unhook the car seat from its base and gives one last check that his son is bundled up appropriately for the cold of a Kansas winter.
He pauses to set Dean’s car seat next to his grave stone
“Dean, meet Dean. I’d give anything to hear your gloating right now about how I chose to name my son after you, I just know you would be the best uncle. You may have been my big brother, but you were always a father to me, and I just hope I can make you proud while I’m raising this little one.”
“Say Happy Birthday to your Uncle Dean.”