Chapter Text
It was late at night, probably around two in the morning. The whole shelter was dark, and all the kids in all the rooms were sleeping. Maybe some were awake, but it doesn’t matter, they are kids, they survived something traumatic, maybe staying awake to think or simply to chill won’t hurt.
They had saved them. Destroyed Goldy Pond. They have taken them away from that hell, and are now trying to find a way to the Human World, to make a future for these kids, for them to grow up in a good place. They are the adults of the place. The caregivers. The parents. Him and Lucas.
One of the oldest “kids” joins them, taking care of the kids and helping around, and the youngest ones see her as a parent as well. She doesn’t think much of it. Well, that’s what Nicole says. Her heart actually melts at the idea, but she won’t tell.
And the term ‘kid’ doesn’t fit her anymore. It used to, when she was at the orphanage. It would have been weird when she escaped, if anyone called her a kid, she was seventeen after all. It is completely out of the question now, that she’s eighteen and a half. She’s an adult. No one’s calling her a kid. Apart from Yugo, who is so damn convinced that it’s funny.
So, at two in the morning, what’s the worst that can happen? This has become a safe place. A home. With two -well, three- responsible adults that take care of a bunch of kids. The worst that can happen, as one of said three adults sees it… is becoming a kid yourself.
It’s not long after the clock has hit twelve past two, when a knock is heard on Nicole’s door. She’s been awake, even if she was on the verge of collapsing now, and her first thought is: it must be a kid who can’t sleep.
She quietly gets up, fuzzy socks muffling the sound of her steps, a loose, long sleeved gray T-shirt that goes past her hips, only covering a few inches of her thighs, and a pair of large, light pink, checked pants cover the rest.
As she gets to the door, she unlocks it (she always keeps it locked, not wanting kids to barge into her room), and opens it, fully ready to be greeted by a kid who just had a nightmare or who simply can’t sleep. It wouldn’t be a surprise, it has happened already. Kids seem to trust her when sleep becomes difficult. The surprise is, instead, when she has to tilt her head up to look at who knocked at her door.
“Yugo.. wha..?”
She is at a loss of words for a moment. The man in front of her, now just one year from becoming thirty, looks terrible. He has one arm tight around his stomach, his other hand lightly fiddling with the edge of his shirt, as he gives a shaky sniffle, eyes cast downwards, tears still pooling in them out of shame, and she can see, only thanks to the light that comes from her room, that tears had already spilled, and even if she hadn’t seen them, their touch is evident on his cheeks, the skin damp. His shirt is also damp, dark blue fabric going nearly black around his neck and in spots all around it, sticking to his torso. Some strands of hair stick to his face, the black -even if with some stripes of white- fluff of waves and curls covering his forehead and eyes a little, but not enough for her to not see him squeeze them shut.
She doesn’t know what to say for a few moments, and she fears that if she doesn’t say anything for another five seconds he will leave, so she speaks up, trying to keep the situation under control, despite the shaky way his chest heaves.
“Yugo, I-.. What happened? Did you have a nightmare?..”
That seems to make him stiffen even more, but she really doesn’t know what to do. This man is ten years older than her, always acts like a grumpy bastard, even if he softened after he got used to the kids, and now he’s standing in front of her door, crying. She is unsure if she should correct herself with something else, and even if she did, she doesn’t know what to say, but her line of thought is cut when he gives a small nod, another sniffle coming from him.
She pauses, her gaze softening. It.. strangely doesn’t surprise her. Well, she never thought about it, but now that she does, it doesn’t shock her. Yugo, who had escaped with his siblings, his family, and thought to be the only survivor for thirteen years, swallowed by loneliness, fear, and probably dragged down by depression, has nightmares. It’s not unexpected.
She thinks for a few moments, then adds.
“Do you want to come in?..”
After a few seconds, she is answered by another nod.
She steps aside, letting him in, closing and locking the door behind him.
Her room isn’t too big. There were originally two separate beds, but she moved them together, and made a double one, which is in a corner, illuminated by a small lamp on the bedside table. At the foot of the bed there is a wooden drawer, and a few feet in front of it, there is her desk, against the corner. It’s too dark there to see what’s on it. Next to it there seems to be a small bin, then there’s a big wardrobe -actually, there were two small ones, basically the same thing as the bed-.
She steps next to him, and looks up at him, fixing her glasses on the bridge of her nose, before speaking softly, keeping her voice down.
“.. Yugo.. Do you.. Want to talk about it?..”
She looks at him, seeing him turn away, avoiding her gaze, and giving a small, somewhat timid, shake of his head. She nods, and tries again.
“.. Do you.. Want a hug, perhaps?..”
She gives a softer tone, and her heart breaks when he gives a small yet quick nod, his bottom lip and chin quivering a little, and his jaw clenches.
She reaches a hand to him, firstly putting it on his shoulder, before she steps closer, in front of him, and it slowly wraps around his shoulders, her other hand joining it and going around his shoulders and neck, pulling him down to her shoulder.
She feels him stiff, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides, before he gives a sharp intake of breath, and he hesitantly lifts his arms, until they go around her waist, his hands going to fist the fabric of her shirt on her back. She can feel his shoulders jerk and twitch, the trembling barely held back, his body so tense it feels like he’s about to bolt. She gives a gentle voice.
“It’s alright.. Yugo..”
Her voice softens, dragging the name longer when she hears him suck in a breath, the sound dangerously close to a sob to his liking.
He doesn’t want to cry. He doesn’t even know why he’s here. He should have dealt with it alone, like he always does. He should have calmed down on his own, in his room, but something about it feels suffocating. There’s nothing in his room, and it isn’t small, and nothing bad has happened in it, but something about staying there, alone, makes him struggle to breathe. He had found himself in front of Nicole’s room before he even realized, his legs moving without his consent and bringing him there.
She’s too kind, too calm, too good.
His chin keeps quivering, his breath doesn’t steady, and his hands desperately hold onto her shirt. He feels his breath stutter in his chest again, and he knows that he’s soon going to sob, going to cry again, and he really doesn’t want to. Why did he come here, if he’s so afraid of crying in front of her? Why did his body drag him here?
He starts to shake his head against her shoulder, eyes squeezed shut, his voice coming out for the first time tonight, shaky and raw from the emotions bubbling in his chest.
“.. I don’t- I don’t know why I’m here.. I should have stayed in my room..”
His voice is faintly muffled, as he buries his face in her shoulder, and not long after he speaks, her fingers start caressing his shoulder blades and the back of his neck, and her voice comes out gentle and calm.
“.. Well, now you are here, and it’s not a problem, really..”
He shakes his head again, more firmly, his chest constricting, and gives a few, breathy words.
“.. I shouldn’t be.. I- I’m a damn adult..”
“That means nothing, Yugo.”
“Yes, it does-..”
She’s quiet, as she feels his chest heave against hers, and hears him sniffle over and over, trying to swallow the tears. They keep pooling in his eyes, and they silently fall on her shoulder, against his will, as he avoids letting them go, letting himself cry.
“It means nothing to me, Yugo. You’ve been through hell, it’s not a surprise it still shakes you to this point, and that you have nightmares.”
He’s quiet for a moment, then gives an upset mumble, his voice losing the fight.
“.. only kids have nightmares.. I’m not a kid anymore..”
“That’s not true, and you know it. Everyone has nightmares. And even if it was true, I don’t see the problem in.. y’know, being a kid once in a while. Being childish, or sensitive. Just ‘cause you’re an adult it doesn’t mean you have to be hard and tough all the time.”
He’s silent again, his head still buried in her shoulder, and, after a few seconds, he speaks up, his voice somewhat timid, shy, and muffled by her shirt.
“.. can I be a kid right now..?..”
She takes a few seconds to answer, then smiles softly.
“Yes, yes you can..”
With that, she moves one hand up to the back of his head, and starts to caress his hair, gently, while she holds him close to her.
His hands let go of her shirt, only to wrap tightly around her torso, and, after a sharp breath, he lets out a small sob, the sound loud in the empty room.
She keeps caressing his back and hair lightly, and after a few minutes, a loud sob erupts from his chest, and he starts to cry heavily, face pressed against her shoulder, breath shaky and fast, her shirt getting damp and then quite wet with his tears and snot. She doesn’t say anything, just lets him, her grip gentle yet somewhat firm, hoping to reassure him.
After a bit, she figures that he isn’t calming down. He seems to do too, and it only worsens the situation, making him panic and so breathe even more erratically. She starts to hush him, speaking softly next to his ear.
“.. Hey.. Shh.. It’s alright.. It’ll be okay.. Don’t worry, darling..”
He gives a sharp and loud sniffle, and coughs lightly against her shoulder, before he goes on crying, but his breathing is less panicked, more like he’s slowly calming down, but still needs to let out the last tears.
She doesn’t let go, and keeps caressing his back, until he’s left sniffling and breathing a bit heavily, but his chest doesn’t shake or heave anymore. He lets go of her, slowly pulling back, and his hands immediately come to wipe at his face and nose. His nose is still running, and all she needs is a couple steps to go to her nightstand and be back in a second with a couple tissues. She hands them to him, while her hand goes to touch her shoulder, feeling her shirt soaked and a bit sticky. He seems to catch it, even as he blows his nose and cleans his face, and immediately gets a bit panicked, coming to lightly grab at the shoulder of her shirt and trying to clean it with the already used tissues.
“Oh, I- I’m so sorry, I got your shirt all wet, god, look at that-”
She cuts him off, hand coming to gently grab his wrist.
“Calm down, hey. Yugo. I’ll just change it, it’s no big deal.”
She smiles softly, looking up at him, pulling his hand away from her shoulder.
“How about you go to the bathroom and clean up a little? Y’know, wash your face and take a breath, so I can change into something clean. Then you can come back here, if you want.”
He seems to hesitate, before he gives a small nod, and steps back.
“Okay, okay.. So I can come back later, then?..”
She nods, smiling.
“Yes, you can come back. Come on, go. The door is locked.”
At that, he nods again, and turns on his heels, and walks to the door, taking a moment to unlock it before stepping out.
While he’s out, she takes off her shirt and throws it in the corner between the wall and her wardrobe, and takes another shirt from it. It’s a short sleeved blue one, but she also grabs a pink sweater, putting it over it, since she feels a bit cold.
She sighs, waiting for him, and thinking about it, she hopes she’s not making him uncomfortable or anything of that kind, given that she’s ten years younger than him, and it’s probably the first time in a long time that he showed such.. Vulnerability.
She sits down on the edge of her bed, and takes off her glasses, setting them down on the nightstand table, before crawling on the bed and going to sit on the corner, putting a couple pillows against the wall to sit more comfortably. She waits calmly, thinking about whatever, before she hears the door open again.
There he is, face washed, some water probably has gone to his hair too, seeing that there are some strands that stick to his forehead. His face is a bit flushed, his nose and upper cheeks reddish, but he looks better.
He steps in, closes the door, and she sees him turn on his heels. She thinks about telling him to lock the door, but decides not to. She has already told the kids to not come into her room without her permission, so it shouldn’t be a problem. She looks up at him as he walks up to her bed, and her eyes lock with his own when he hesitates, not sure what to do. She speaks up instead.
“Do you want to spend the rest of the night here?”
Silence. After a little bit, he nods, and mumbles.
“Yeah, I would.. I would like to.”
She smiles, and sits up, pulling the duvet out from under her, and folds it to the end of the bed. She pats beside her, looking up at him.
“Want to come here?”
From his expression even a child would see that he’s not sure, that he’s considering the pros and the cons of actually sliding in bed with her. Would it be wrong? She’s ten years younger, a girl, when was even the last time he.. Oh, yeah, he actually never did. Should he do this? It’s the first time he actually shares a bed with someone, and it’s her.
He stands awkwardly by the bed, looking down at her, and, while he keeps on thinking it over and over, she speaks up again.
“Yugo, it’s fine. Don’t overthink it, it’s just because you probably want some company, there’s nothing wrong with sharing a bed with someone once in a while.”
She smiles a little bit, her voice soft and calm in the dimly lit room, and, after another moment of hesitation, he leans forward, hands going on the mattress, as it sinks under his weight, and he crawls down by her side, before slumping down and laying down. He looks quite exhausted, so she simply reaches to the duvet and pulls it over the both of them, covering him up to the back of his neck and covering her only up to her hips, as she stays sat beside him.
She looks down at him, and reaches over to gently caress the hair on the back of his head, her fingers brushing through the black and white locks. He seems to relax into the touch, and after almost a whole minute of it, he turns and scoots closer, pressing his face against her hip and waist. He tugs the duvet to cover him up to his chin, and sighs softly, looking sleepy. Upon the movement, she lifts her hand, and simply watches until he settles again, and she puts her hand on his head again. She goes back to caressing his hair, and goes on for a while, before she speaks again.
“Feeling better now?”
He’s quiet a moment, before he nods against her hip, and he slides his arm between the duvet and her thighs, resting it on top of her. She smiles, her heart melting, and sighs softly, before reaching over to the bedside table to turn the light off, and then sinking into the bed. She turns a bit to him, and feels him slowly move closer, until his face is against her chest, and he sighs against her sweater, his arm loosely wrapped around her waist.She keeps caressing his hair with one hand, while the other goes under the pillow under her head.
They both stay quiet, simply waiting for the sleep to take them. He wants to talk about his nightmares, but at the same time, he doesn’t. He’s glad she didn’t tell him to leave or looked at him with pity, but he doesn’t think he’s ready to share that much. He feels lighter now that he has someone to cling to and to hold, but the words and the confessions and the venting will come later. This is it for now. This is enough.
It doesn’t take long for both of them to fall asleep, both being exhausted because of the late hour and him also because of the nightmare and the crying. He luckily doesn’t get any nightmares, mostly because, anytime he starts to get agitated, he seems to calm down as soon as his brain registers her presence.