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“We really should get back to Sybilla, we're wasting time.” A low voice rang off an endless expanse of stairs.
“Come now Grimm, she told us to take a break! You're the one who always says not to overdo it with casting.” Leo responded, continuing up the tower and passing door after door with Grimm close behind.
“Taking a break doesn't mean snooping in rooms without permission.” The caster pointed out sternly.
“You don't have to come.” Leo taunted, knowing that wasn't true. The curse wouldn't allow it, and Grimm wouldn't knowingly cause him discomfort. The other man grimaced, likely echoing Leo's thoughts. “Fine, I'll pick one room and that's it. Then we can go back.” The caster didn't seem much happier, but relented.
They continued to climb the stairs and glanced at the painted symbols on the doors, when they came upon something peculiar. One of the doors was lacking an identifying mark. No book to indicate a library or study, no flower, no tree.
“I don't think we should touch this door.” Grimm said, likely sensing the curiosity radiating off Leo. “Sybilla said herself that the memory doors are tricky, this one may not be finished.”
“You have no sense of adventure Grimm. Perhaps it's just a plain room she hasn't assigned a memory yet.” Leo waved one hand as though brushing away worry, while grabbing the knob with the other. The hum of magic on this door was intense, and before he could pull away, the door swung open, drawing both men into what appeared to be a void of nothing.
Leo tumbled around, losing sense of what was up and down till he landed on his hands and knees on solid ground again. He looked around, no longer able to see the door.
When he heard a grunt and a soft thud beside him, he looked to see Grimm also giving the room a once-over. The caster's gaze landed on him, and narrowed as they both stood up.
“Don't say anything, for the love of magic just don't.” Leo said, assuming Grimm was ready to give a firm lecture about his horrible life choices.
“We should avoid getting separated.” Grimm said instead. “Let's find the door as quickly as we can.” And for once Leo agreed. They couldn't see anything around them but dark haze and he wasn't sure this memory room was even functional. The last thing they needed was to get stuck here.
“All right.” Leo said shortly, and placed a hand on Grimm's shoulder. The caster raised a dark brow. “What, you want to hold hands? You said we should avoid getting separated.” The man's face flashed with realization for a moment.
“Right.” Grimm said curtly before leading the way.
It only took a few moments of groping around in the dark for them both to realize they couldn't find a wall or even an end to the room. Neither said anything about it, but the longer they walked the more bleak things became. Just as Leo was about to finally speak up, the fog started to clear.
“Magic preserve us…” Leo mumbled when he started to recognize where they were.
“The Fount?” Grimm said in a hushed voice.
“Or a memory of it.” Leo added. He spotted a familiar structure, and frowned. The pavilion where he'd thrown himself into the pond when everything first started sat nearby, as pristine as it always was.
“Loveage.” Grimm's voice was barely a whisper, and he tapped his ear. Leo listened for a moment before hearing voices. They sounded vaguely familiar. He had the most peculiar feeling that the voices sounded rougher, or perhaps older than they should? He exchanged a glance with Grimm and they followed the sound to the pavilion.
“I told you we shouldn't just snoop around Leo.” The lower of the two voices floated out of the stone structure. Leo bristled. How did the strangers know they were here? He squeezed Grimm's shoulder, and felt the man place a hand on his arm firmly. It was surprisingly comforting.
“As if you aren't used to how I operate.” The other voice responded. “I'm sure it's just some sort of puzzle or entertainment for Sybilla. Figure out the trick, and we'll be out in no time, Sebastian.” Leo and Grimm exchanged confused looks. The caster made a motion that suggested they should leave, and Leo would've agreed, had his boot not answered for him by scuffing the paved walkway.
“Who's there?” The deeper voice called out, frighteningly reminiscent of Grimm when Leo had cast the insect charm on him. Grimm reached for his sword, but only found empty air. Leo recalled him leaving it on a plush chair in the parlor when they'd left lunch to go explore.
“We mean no harm, we're not here to fight!” Leo spluttered out, not knowing what else to do. There was a period of silence, and he almost thought the people in the pavilion had disappeared or been a magic illusion when someone peered around the doorway.
Leo was stunned speechless for a moment, wondering if there was a mirror spell in place before gathering his wits. The man looking at them had faint lines around his eyes, and his brown curls were longer than Leo's. The man's eyes sparkled a moment, and he disappeared back into the pavilion.
“Sebastian, you won't believe who's outside!” The man's voice lacked any surprise, and after a moment the person the other voice belonged to was dragged out of the pavilion. Leo felt Grimm stiffen, realizing he had never dropped his hand from the caster's shoulder.
The four men were all silent, staring for a moment. The man who'd been dragged out looked strikingly like Grimm. Pale hair, short and well kept, dark eyes and fair skin with a few lines near his eyes. Leo noted that his sorcerer's coat had the trim of a Coterie member, and more importantly an expensive, gilded badge designating him as a member of the Citadel pinned to one of the breast pockets. The indigo casters sash at his waist stopped Leo for a moment. It was decorated with the same waves and droplets of water as Grimm's. What was different were the musical notes dancing in the waves, a deep blue line in the same place he'd ripped Grimm's sash weeks ago, and a single, white flower with six pointed petals embroidered on that line.
“A blast from the past, right Sebastian?” The older brunette said, causing Grimm to flinch beside Leo. His gaze flicked to the other man, his dark curls tied in a thick bundle and draped over his shoulder, cascading to nearly his elbow. He had the same faint lines as the other man around his eyes, which, Leo had noted, were much paler blue than his own. His sorcerer's coat was a deep green, unlike the usual black, and looked both worn and well loved with age. The Coterie trim was also present on the shoulders and collar, but appeared newer than the coat itself. The scarlet scrivers sash was embroidered, unlike the one Leo had destroyed by the time they reached the tower. It had musical notes and feathers in brilliant gold thread, and a single white flower in the same place as the other man's sash. This man also had the Citadel badge on his coat.
“Who are you?” Grimm finally broke the silence, reaching into his pocket.
“Don't try to bluff, I know you have no spells.” The older…. Grimm? Sebastian? Spoke calmly as he noticed.
“I'll do introductions.” The older brunette said in a relaxed tone. “By some twist of fate, we are you. Sebastian Grimm, “ he motioned towards the older caster, and Leovander…. Um…?” He glanced at the man beside him, who shook his head after a brief, silent communication, “Leovander Loveage.”
“Impossible.” Grimm spat out beside him, clearly wary of these people.
“Prove it to us, fake Grimm and fake me.” Leo said, also feeling strangely uncomfortable with this. The older ‘Grimm’ was much more relaxed than the one he knew, and his eyes were soft whenever he looked in Leo's direction. The ‘Leovander’ was a whole different story. Coterie trim and a Citadel badge? Absolutely not.
“This is your first visit to Sybilla,” old-Grimm glanced between Leo's bandaged arm and the younger Grimm's tattered sash, “so a few days ago I told you about the rain spell that flooded Dwull, and you're seeking a counter spell for the curse.” He answered easily.
Grimm didn't seem happy about the answer, but still appeared to accept it. “What about you?” He turned his dark eyes to the older scriver. “Loveage stated he did not want to join the Coterie, and your eyes are wrong. Plus whatever is going on with your hands.”
It wasn't till that moment that Leo had noticed the brunette across from him had nails that were black as pitch. It could've been nail lacquer, but the way darkness crept into the skin around the nails in delicate tendrils said otherwise.
“Yes well, Little Leo has a partially ruined thumbnail, correct?” The affectionate nickname sounded wrong coming from someone who was supposed to be an older version of Grimm. The man nudged his companion with his shoulder, letting him answer.
“Ah, well let's just say I cast another spell that was much further beyond my means than that repulsion spell. And if that doesn't convince you, I still hate peach jam.” Pale eyes glanced meaningfully at Leo, who went completely rigid at the unwanted memory. He made a motion to his older self to keep his mouth shut. Grimm didn't need to know about that.
“I already know,” Sebastian said, reading him like a book. “Even if my younger self doesn't yet.”
Leo exchanged an exhausted, confused glance with Grimm before they both looked at their older selves in mild distress. “What in magic is happening, what sort of crazy room is this? This must be some sort of weird nightmare.” Leo whined.
“Can't be if I'm here kid, I have less nightmares than I used to, and in my opinion, a trip down memory lane with Sebastian like this would usually qualify as a good dream.” The older Leo said with a smile, glancing at his companion, who gave an affectionate eye-roll in return.
“Yep, this is a nightmare. Has to be.” Leo groaned.
“Why don't we go inside and sit down for now.” Sebastian suggested.
“That's probably a good idea, Mini-me looks like he's about to keel over.” Old-Leo chuckled. “Kids first.” He motioned to the pavilion.
“We're adults.” Grimm said simply, but followed Leo into the pavilion with the older pair trailing after them. He stopped, causing the older Leo to run into him.
“Something wrong, little Grimm?” the older brunette leaned over his shoulder a bit, causing him to startle and jump away.
“Fine! I'm fine, why does this pavilion have a table? It shouldn't.” Grimm looked irritated, but Leo noticed his ears were bright red. A strange feeling pricked at his heart, looking between the caster and his own older reflection. The spell, probably.
“The Fount added the stone table and benches sometime after we graduated. It became a popular study spot at some point. Come, sit.” The older Grimm's voice was smooth, and almost comforting to Leo. Was that the curse too? Did it apply here? No, he'd just told Leo to sit and he hadn't.
He pondered over everything as he sat beside Grimm, across from their older counterparts.
“Let's start by making it easier to address each other.” The older brunette began, “Leovander is fine for me, though people only call me that during stuffy meetings.” The older Grimm rolled his eyes. Leo tried to ignore the obvious affection in the gesture, lest he lose his mind at why Grimm would have such fond feelings towards him, even later in life.
“Call me Sebastian, since Little Leo likely still calls you Grimm.” the older caster said, and of all things smirked at Leo's reaction to the nickname again before looking at his younger self.
“Fine. Then my family name will suffice.” Grimm responded blandly.
“You really were a grump back then, huh Sebastian?” Leovander teased, then turned to Leo. “I suppose we just call you Leo then, Mini-me.”
“Whatever makes this nightmare easier.” Leo groaned, thumping his head on the table.
“Alright, where to start… you two are fifth tiers, so that's… an 18 year difference?” Leovander mused. Leo's head shot up and Grimm's eyes widened.
“So you're 40?” Leo asked, lifting his head to look at his older self, grinning, “I don't look a day over 30!”
“Leovander uses cosmetic charms to cover the few grey hairs he's sprouted.” Sebastian said simply, eliciting a betrayed look from his companion.
“Only because you have enough grey hair for the both of us.” Leovander shot back, and Leo wondered if they were going to fight. He and Grimm had started fights over pettier things, after all.
“You were the one who said you didn't recognize me with dark hair, and you were the one who insisted I cast the hair color charm so you could see it.” There wasn't a hint of animosity in Sebastian's voice. Leo also realized that, since Grimm had told him about the rain spell, it hadn't occurred to him that the caster was meant to have hair similar to his parents.
“Yes, well, your hair was grey when we met, so from my perspective, that is how your hair is meant to be.” Leovander said with a shrug. “Anyway! Enough about hair. Seeing you two really is something, Sybilla's tower never ceases to amaze me!”
“You were in the tower?” Grimm asked, looking between the two older men.
“We were. We visit Sybilla from time to time. I love trading spell ideas with her, and Sebastian is very fond of Beau.” Leovander answered.
“Unfortunately, Leovander wanted to snoop around the tower, and we ended up here.” Sebastian followed up, casting a tired look at his companion.
“You're telling me he never changes? Even after the curse?” Grimm asked before turning to Leo with a scowl.
“He certainly changes, but not where his curiosity and bad choices are concerned.” Sebastian chuckled as though it was something to be fond of, not angry.
“That's my entire personality, not much to change besides that.” Leo supplied, but noticed his older counterpart looking at him with a soft smile.
“Well, we wrote a charm that's usable by the farmers in Dwull to combat silver rot.” Leovander said, pale eyes meeting blue. The ‘we’ hit Leo harder than expected, as he realized that meant he was able to help the farmers in a meaningful way again. “Sebastian and I can't always be there to sing it away, so I had to come up with an alternative.”
“I specialize in charms and intricate spells that don't require much power, I don't see that as much of a change.”
“Maybe, but returning to help the people of Dwull is a change for a man who thinks he's not meant to help others.” Leovander said.
Leo felt Grimm looking at him, but didn't turn his head.
“That's because my spells are too small to be helpful. They are frivolous or cosmetic or pranks.”
“Sebastian, I don't have my violin, but would you sing that rain spell for us?” Leovander asked as though it were a normal thing between them. Surely the older caster would say no, Grimm didn't cast without reason, so why would he do so later in life? Plus, that would be Grandmagic, and there was no way-
“Fine, but I'm casting outside.” Sebastian rose from the stone table and walked towards the door. “Watch from the window, Little Leo.”
Unable to argue, Leo and Grimm stood and walked to the window. Sebastian stopped just outside the doorway, closed his eyes, and sang. Leo felt a shiver down his spine at how fully the older man threw himself into the song. His voice was trained for this, unlike the Grimm that was at Leo's side. How many spell songs had the older pair cast together for Sebastian to sound like that?
As the rain rolled in, the older caster finished the song and stepped into the pavilion doorway to watch without getting wet. Leo watched the rain for a while, his heart pounding in his ears. This was Grandmagic. There was no way he wrote that song, and yet, who else but he and Grimm could write and cast spell songs?
“What do you think?” Leovander has come up next to him, startling him slightly.
“I think this really is a nightmare.” Leo said through gritted teeth. “My magic is broken, fractured, I cannot write Grandmagic, even In music.” He clenched his fists, feeling his breathing become shallow. “Excuse me.” He forced the words out before turning and leaving out the opposite door of the pavilion.
“Loveage!” Grimm's voice called after him, but he didn't stop. He walked out into the rain and allowed himself to get soaked. It wasn't real anyway, so he'd wake up dry, save for his face, because his nightmares always ended in tears.
Leo stood there, hand over his face as a few tears fell, hidden by the rain. He couldn't write grand magic. He didn't want to hurt anyone. This was some horrid vision to torment him with what could be if he wasn't so flawed.
“Leo” Sebastian spoke from beside him. He'd heard him approach and tried to ignore him, but it seemed he couldn't now. The rain started to taper off, and Leo lifted his head, hoping his eyes weren't red.
“How do I wake up?” The brunette looked at the man, clearly Grimm, but still not somehow. “How do I get out of this room? What sort of torture did Sybilla write into this memory door?”
The older man shrugged, looking up at the clearing sky. After a moment, he sang a quiet song, and suddenly the both of them were dry. Leo felt warm, but that somehow just made his chest hurt more.
“If you've memorized so many songs, you must not need me, or Leovander I suppose.” He tried to change the subject, which Sebastian seemed to accept.
“I do need him.” He said simply, “I can memorize spells all I want, but you and he have a way of writing spells and songs tailored to each unique situation. No amount of memorization can replace that.” This made Leo want to cry for entirely different reasons.
“What happened to me?” Leo asked quietly, choosing not to clarify the question's intention.
“A lot. You changed, but so did I. The curse is your turning point Little Leo. It's our turning point.” Sebastian moved to face Leo, looking him in the eye. “You never hated me. Not really.”
Leo bit his lip, meeting those dark eyes, “I thought I did. But I think I just hated who I thought you were.” He admitted, “ there was a time when I'd never made a mistake, but after my magic fractured and everything went to hell, seeing someone else I thought was untouched by failure made me jealous. But…” he looked away, “you failed too.”
“I did.” Sebastian said, “I hurt a lot of people with that rain spell, but I had a support system and a mentor that gave me the tools to learn from that. You didn't have that.”
“I had Rainer and Agnes.”
“You were all kids. You needed more than that, but your father failed you as a parent.” Sebastian's words were not harsh, but carried a protectiveness Leo had never heard from the Grimm he knew.
“How do you know so much? I never even told Agnes about… the peach jam.” Leo spoke carefully. He never spoke of own mistake to anyone, so why his future self had done so, he couldn't understand. He glanced at the older man, and caught a flash of guilt in his eyes.
“I made a mistake.”
I made a mistake.
It seemed that Grimm never lost his ability to admit that, no matter how many years passed.
“You were still under the curse. We argued, and I was not careful about how I spoke.” Sebastian said quietly. “You didn't want to tell me, at first, but once it was out in the open, I listened to what you were willing to share. A lot of smaller details didn't come till much later when you were ready to talk more openly.”
Ready? Leo would never be ready. Surely he'd lock that horrible part of his life away where no one could ever see it. And yet, there was something comforting in the way Sebastian spoke. Like someday, those memories wouldn't feel so unbearably painful.
For now, he just wanted a change of topic again. He glanced at Sebastian, and found his change of topic. There, on his left ring finger, was a gold band.
“Sebastian Grimm, did you marry a person rather than being married to your job?” he asked in surprise. The man in question looked just as shocked as his dark eyes followed Leo's gaze to his hand.
“What's so odd about me getting married?” The older man asked, a hint of mischievousness on his face that was so unlike the Grimm that Leo knew.
“I defer to my previous statement, I expected you to be married to the job. You never seemed the romantic sort.” Leo raised a brow.
“I suppose I wasn't, at first.” Sebastian said, “but sometimes you meet someone who doesn't give you a choice, and you fall headfirst into something you never expected.” The soft smile that graces the man's face almost made Leo weak in the knees, but no one needed to know that, especially not any versions of Grimm, future or present.
“That sounds far better than a love spell. I'm sorry you had to be dragged into that, by the way. I'm probably the last person you wanted in love with you, magic or not.” Leo sighed, the curse internally rebelling against his words. He grimaced at the feeling.
“Ah, that's right. You're at the point when you stopped telling me it was getting worse.” Sebastian seemed remarkably unbothered, but somehow Leo felt like he should apologize.
“Never mind that, who was brilliant enough to steal your heart Sebastian?” he asked, feeling an odd twist in his chest as he did so.
“Someone clever.” Sebastian smiled, and Leo suddenly wished that the present Grimm would too. “They're a remarkable sorcerer and they are capable of things no one else can do, though they can be hard on themselves sometimes.”
“I see. Only the greatest sorcerers would live up to your expectations, I suppose.” Leo was somehow disappointed. Of course Grimm would find and marry an excellent sorcerer, he shouldn't have expected anything less. The pain in his chest was only from the curse, nothing more.
“Little Leo.” Sebastian said, seeming to notice the downturn in his mood. “Dance with me.”
“What?”
“Dance with me.” The older man repeated, then, upon seeing Leo's surprise he added, “Once I joined the Coterie I had to learn, stuffy parties and dancing are par for the course in the gentry.” while Leo wouldn't deny that, he barely had time to think before Sebastian took his hand and drew him into a silent dance. “Oh, but you still have to lead, dancing never did become something I excelled at.”
+++
Back in the tower, Grimm glared at Leovander.
“What was that?” He asked, “only Loveage and I can cast spell songs, and few people know about my failed spell.”
“We just proved who we are, isn't that what you wanted?” Leovander sighed when he saw Grimm's expression, “right, you were always untrusting. Rightfully so, in some situations.”
“I'm going out to get Loveage.” The young casters expression left no doubt that he did not trust his older self, or whoever that was, with Leo.
“You're awfully protective of him.” Grimm’s face twisted with mixed emotions as he whirled around to see Leovander sitting down again, leaning his back against the table, legs crossed. “Ah, there it is. I really did put you through hell, didn't I?”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Grimm scowled.
“I didn't give you much of a choice that day in Dwull when we argued on the roadside. You were forced to accompany me to the woods, and we learned that there was more to each other than the assumptions we made. You thought I was lazy, flaky, wasting my privilege and I thought you were haughty and even a bit snobbish.” The older man folded his hands in his lap, “I spent our few days in the tower irritated by the curse and desperate for a cure, but you spent those days fighting yourself and fighting the potential of what we'd lose when the curse was gone.”
Grimm went still and looked away, gritting his teeth. “That's none of your business.”
“I’d argue it is, Sebastian.” The use of his first name startled him, but he remained quiet. “I spent most of my time with the curse thinking you either hated me, or tolerated me. I couldn't fathom why you would treat me kindly, and when we fought I thought that was how we were meant to be. But there will be a moment when you accept a part of me that I could never accept myself, and that was when I started to think that maybe things could be different after the curse was lifted.” Leovander bore into Grimm with his unnerving, pale eyes. Something about them made him feel a strange gratitude, though he did not know why.
Grimm couldn’t speak for a long while. He wanted to go get Loveage and find a way to leave this place, but if it really was just magic or an illusion, what harm was there in talking about the feelings twisting and turning inside him right now? “I never hated you, Loveage. Or I suppose I should say Leovander” he corrected himself. He and the scriver only truly addressed each other by their family names, a result of their animosity towards each other.
“I know.” The older brunette smiled softly, and Grimm's heart did an odd little flip.
“Then I suppose you know that I enjoy your spell songs, and that I see potential in your scriving?” Grimm held the man's gaze. Leovander merely nodded. “You know that I feel more than I show on my face.” Another nod. “You know that I would be glad to be your friend now, if only we could work out our differences?”
“I know that you spend the entirety of my time under the curse walking on eggshells and respecting my autonomy, even when I do things that are stupid or reckless. I know that you worry about me and how it affects me.” Leovander stood up and approached Grimm. “I also know that you are not being entirely honest with yourself right now.” The brunette placed his hand against Grimm's cheek, and he tensed up. His heart fluttered, and he swallowed the urge to snap at the older man out of emotion.
“I am as honest with myself as I need to be. You’re under a spell, so being swayed by emotions that are twisted by magic is not logical.” he said as though he were trying to convince himself and not Leovander. “So you can scrive Grandmagic now?” He forcefully changed the subject.
The older man dropped his hand back to his side with another bright smile. “Sure can. You’d be absolutely astounded at what a man will do to save the one he loves.” Leovander clasped his hands together, swaying dramatically to one side as Grimm reeled from the sudden change in the man's demeanor. There was a glint from the scriver's clasped hands that caught Grimm's eye.
Loveage seemed to like rings, he’d been wearing several when he collapsed upon his arrival at the farm days ago. The older scriver in front of him wore at least two on each hand, but the most notable one was on his left ring finger. A brilliant silver band. Grimm’s stomach twisted uncomfortably.
“You managed to scrive Grandmagic because of… love?” he said, realizing his disbelief might come off as insulting.
“Indeed.” Leovander lowered his hands, “after years of fractured magic and fear of hurting others, the very first Grandmagic spell I scrived was a healing spell.” There was fondness on the man's face at the memory that made Grimm uncharacteristically curious.
“You saved someone’s life.” He felt his eyes widen slightly at the thought, an odd sense of pride for the man blooming in his chest. “Who cast it?” He’d practiced casting difficult spells himself, shield spells being one of the most prominent, but he wondered how it would feel to cast a healing spell, or who would have the skill to do so.
A grin spread on Leovander's face, deepening the faint lines around his eyes. “I did.”
Grimm's eyes flew open, “That must be a lie. I saw what the repulsion spell did to you, there's no way you cast a Grandmagic spell, even as a song, and survived.” he said this with noticeable doubt in his own words. His eyes slid from the man's fingernails to his eyes.
“Is it, though? I’ve surprised you before.” the older man said with a slight tilt of his head. “I lost someone I loved when I was a child, so I wasn’t willing to go through that again. I did almost die, you’re not wrong about that. There was someone I just couldn’t stand to be parted from, and I would do it again in a heartbeat.” he ran his thumb delicately over the silver band.
“You married them then?” Grimm was surprised by his own question, he normally wasn’t so nosy. “The person you saved, I mean. Is that why you were being dodgy about your family name earlier? You don’t go by Loveage, do you?”
“What a curious young man you are.” Leovander's words came out almost flirtatious, and Grimm felt the tips of his ears warm. “You are correct on all accounts. I love them, I saved them, and once we got our shit together, we pursued a future together.”
“Should you be telling me all this?” Grimm asked uncertainly.
“Well you asked, little Sebastian.” Leovander chuckled, “And besides, I’ve figured out the trick to this room anyway. Sybilla really is clever with her contingencies. She really doesn’t take chances with magic and its unpredictability.”
“If that’s the case then why be cagey?” Grimm frowned. “You act like you’re going to sway our future if you tell us too much, then you tell me that there's some sort of fail safe on the magic?”
“Because I miss messing with you.” The older man smirked. “Your reactions from our time at the Fount are a whole different thing from the man you are now. Plus, I’m concerned that you and Mini-me would go catatonic if I revealed too much, and then Sebastian, that is, my Sebastian would be very unhappy.”
“You really haven’t changed.” Grimm scoffed, trying to hide the unexpected fondness he felt coupled with the dizzying effect of Leovander saying my Sebastian. “So, the Coterie and the Citadel?” he let his eyes scan the man's outfit again, recalling his shock upon first seeing the shoulder trim and badge.
“We made the decision to change things together. Your future plans moved me, if you can believe it." The scriver’s answer was brief as he noticed Grimm's eyes landing on his sash.
“Do you know what that flower is?”
“A starflower.”
“And… Do you know what it means?” Grimm asked. The pieces were falling into place, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to finish this puzzle.
“Depends on the region, right?” Leovander gave a knowing smile, “chaos and harmony is one meaning that you and I can both resonate with, but that's not the one that came to mind when you saw my sash.” Or Sebastian's sash.
The unspoken implication hung in the air. This place truly was some strange illusion. He had to believe that, because anything else was too much to process.
++++
Leo stepped in time with a silent song and Sebastian followed elegantly. The movement coupled with Sebastian's hand in his lulled him into a sense of peace he hadn’t felt in many years. The older man’s hand was sword calloused like his own, and unsurprisingly familiar to him after feeling the younger Grimm’s hands bandaging him only two days prior.
“Sebastian?” his voice softer than he’d expected from himself. His dance partner hummed softly, looking at him with a softer expression than he ever thought the caster capable of. “Did I ever tell Agnes? Did I tell her the truth about my mother?” He’d never told her the whole story, so being half forced to tell Sebastian first felt odd.
“You did.” the man answered gently. “It took time, but after everything we went through with the curse, I think you finally began to heal, little by little. You eventually told her everything.”
“I see.” Warmth bloomed in his chest. Things could change. If this wasn’t an illusion, things would change. He gave the older man a gentle spin. It felt odd to have any version of Sebastian so willing to follow him in any sense of the word, but it also felt like they’d done this many times before.
The dance had to end eventually, but Leo still had so many questions, even if this wasn’t real. He wanted to believe things could be different for him, that he wasn’t fractured and that he could do everything he denied himself. They stood there a moment, and Sebastian made no move to pull away, only looked at him with those dark eyes.
“So Sebastian, did we become friends? Or are you and the other me just in a truce to visit Sybilla?” He decided to dive right in, and the older man didn’t seem to mind.
“I supposed you could say we’re something like friends. We did join the Coterie together. Who else would sing your spell songs?” Sebastian’s lips quirked up again.’’
“I suppose that makes sense. That means we didn’t kill each other before the end of fifth tier.” Leo joked lightly. The surreal idea of joining the Coterie with Grimm and continuing with the spell songs made him even more curious. “Any favorite spell songs?” he asked curiously.
“The first one we ever cast in the sunflower field. That is, if we’re talking about the ones that I cast.”
“You can’t possibly be saying that some silly cantrip that I cast would be a favorite over the things you can cast.” Leo said, shaking his head.
“Little Leo, have you forgotten already?” The nickname caused a faint blush to creep into his cheeks as Sebastian spoke, “Leovander told you that he cast something worse than that repulsion spell, and you saw his hands.”
“Yes, I’d forgotten, this is… a lot.” Leo did not lie, but he also wasn’t about to admit that speaking and dancing with this older version of Grimm had completely distracted him. “What did I – did he – cast? What could be so difficult for the great Sebastian Grimm that you would not cast it yourself?” His tone was lightly joking. “How on earth did you let me cast without a lecture?”
This elicited a soft chuckle from the older man before his dark eyes went a little distant. “I had no choice in the matter, I was quite unconscious for the whole ordeal.” A soft smile played on his lips. “You saved my life Leo. I was badly wounded, and I wish I could’ve heard the song you played as I was healed.
His words sent an unpleasant shiver down Leo's back. This was how he knew nothing about this was real. “I gave up on healing spells when I was a child.” His voice was barely a whisper as he moved to step away from Sebastian.
“And yet…” The older man took Leo’s hand, preventing him from moving away, lifting it to his lips to brush a soft kiss on his knuckles. “You faced your past for my sake.”
Leo felt like his brain had shut off entirely. The delicate feeling of Sebastian's gesture, the familiarity in it and the way those dark eyes looked at him made him suddenly wonder what he’d meant by something like friends. He wasn’t sure how long he stood there in shock, but once his thoughts sputtered to life, so did his words.
“I am glad, I mean, it’s good to know you are alright.” Leo took a step back, and Sebastian let him. “I suppose we have been through a lot in the woods, and if we join a troop together I suppose we must be close enough for me to perform such a miracle.” The words were awkward on his tongue and his pulse sped up. The caster lifted a dark brow. Leo’s fingers tingled where his lips had been.
“Many parts of our journey remained with us after the curse was gone. You insisted to me that you were still there, and that you were still yourself even with the magic influencing you.” Sebastian said seriously, “I think that was the moment I stopped using the curse to hide how things were changing between us.”
“Yes, well, surviving these woods would bond anyone, I'm sure.” Leo said, his heart rate continuing to increase.
“You told me you wanted to go home to Sahnt, but ultimately joined the Coterie with me. You showed me the estate before we started our work, and we replanted the garden.” Sebastian's words softened.
Leo glanced at the white flower on the caster's sash, recalling the matching one on the sash belonging to his older self. Barely a day before he had denied feeling anything when watching Grimm sing in the woods, and now he was standing in a memory room with an illusion of the caster and a mountain of things suggesting something other than friendship between them.
“Will Sybilla's counter spell work?” Leo asked carefully.
“No. You came up with an alternate idea to break it, but the curse dissolved before we could try.” Sebastian's voice was clear, not a hint of embarrassment at what his words implied.
“You broke the curse.” Somehow Leo had known when he'd first seen the older pair together, that they weren't just comrades or friends. “The matching flowers on your sashes, the way you speak to each other, the way you've been looking at me…”
Sebastian smiled, “it's been nice seeing you as you used to be, Leo. Annoying, stubborn, difficult. Although, I suppose you never did grow out of those traits, but it's nostalgic to see your eyes so blue, and temper so much shorter.”
“You're stubborn too, you know.” Leo deflected, feeling heat in his cheeks again.
“Of course I am, it's why I spent our entire trip to the woods in such deep denial.” Sebastian said, “we drove Agnes nuts for a while after we got back. I was certain she would lock us in a closet if we hadn't sorted ourselves out when we did.”
“That sounds like her.” Leo laughed, his chest tightening. He was always worrying her. He wished he was back in Luxe, listening to her talk about the parties she was going to. He suddenly felt inexplicably lonely. He realized, surprisingly, that he missed Grimm. It wasn't the curse either, it had been exceptionally quiet since they entered this room. Talking to this Sebastian made him want to go back to the pavilion to see the Grimm he knew. Somehow, homesickness was more than just Agnes or Sahnt. It was the Fount. It was Luxe. It was Grimm.
++++
Grimm had sat back down with Leovander, unsure how he still remained calm.
“This feels like a fever dream.”
Leovander cocked his head, playing with the ends of his long, tied up hair. “What, us getting married or the fact that you've met your future self?”
“Everything. The curse, the tower, spending so much time keeping Leo from getting us both killed, this memory room.”
“Can't say it gets better yet.” The scriver said quietly.
Grimm didn't doubt that, since they were still in the woods and still waiting on that counter spell. There was too much he didn't understand about himself and about Loveage. The fact that the curse was still in place should have been proof enough of his feelings not being whatever this version of Leovander thought they were, but feelings were unpredictable, even his own.
“It's so irrational.” Grimm couldn't tell if he was talking about their situation or his own feelings. “Every time we seem to get along, we end up arguing. You're selfish and you were born with privilege and opportunity that you waste, yet, you didn't truly judge my origins.”
“I called you haughty and laughed about you being a farmer, Grimm.” Leovander reminded him with a raised eyebrow.
“Yes, and I was certainly offended, but that was your assessment of how you'd seen me at the Fount.” Grimm gripped at his pants as he looked down at his lap, “you didn't comment on my room or judge my home, you didn't mention money, and you didn't base my family's value off our social standing. You were kind to my parents.”
Leovander smiled, looking up at the stone ceiling, “perhaps because money never bought me love, or a home.” Grimm looked at him, remembering that the man had lost his mother. “I never had much of a relationship with my father. I had Rainer and Agnes, they were home, in a sense but for the longest time I thought the only true home I would ever know was the estate in Sahnt where I was loved by my mother.” The scriver turned to look at Grimm, “your parents are kind and welcoming, and your home was warm. Those things made you richer than me in many ways. You had a place to return to, even when you were in Luxe.”
It was clear that both he and Leo had made assumptions about each other, that they both had blinders on as a result of status and family.
Grimm thought about how he'd correctly guessed that Leovander no longer used his father's family name. “If we-” he stopped, still unable to process the idea of them being married, “Why did you give up your family name?”
“Things went sour with my father, and your parents treated me more like family than he ever did. I was just a means to pass on the Loveage name, which is why he was desperate to force me into the Fount. He wanted both of his sons to be successful, not for our sake, but for our families reputation. Ironically, the Fount was the best thing that ever happened to me. I met you, repaired my magic, became a better scriver than he ever was, and threw his name back in his face.” The satisfaction on Leovander's face did funny things to Grimm's stomach. “My family had always been Rainer and Agnes, but I got to add you and your parents to that.”
“I'm… glad.” Grimm said slowly. He couldn't fathom how their 5 years of animosity could be perceived as a good thing, but somehow he felt gratitude and pride welling up in him.
“Arguments, physical fights, glares in the hallway, and becoming duality partners…” Leovander murmured. “Little Sebastian, has it ever occurred to you that if two people can't stay away from each other, then perhaps they aren't meant to be apart?”
The thought settled in his chest. They were very different people. Opposites in magic, in social status and personality, and yet they'd always been drawn into each other's paths. Even the curse had pulled them together, negatively or otherwise. He didn't hate spending time with Loveage. They'd fought throughout this whole ordeal, but always ended up working together in perfect harmony regardless. Isn't that part of building relationships? Working through their differences and changing, ever so slightly until they fit together better, until they understood each other?
“Sebastian!” The older man's outburst startled him. “Hey, look at that!” He pointed a blackened fingertip towards the doorway of the pavilion. A wooden door like those in the tower had appeared where one of the open doorways used to be.
Grimm stood up, “the exit?” He needed to get Loveage, the one he knew, and get out of here. Who knew how long the door would stay.
“Sebassttiiaaannn” Leovander was already calling out the door the other two had left through in a sing-song voice. “We have an exit! Bring Mini-me back!”
Grimm had to suppress the urge to smile, and convince himself that the man's actions were not at all endearing.
Leo and Sebastian returned, and when Grimm met the scriver’s eyes, they both froze. No words needed to be exchanged for them to realize they both knew the nature of the older pair's relationship. They broke eye contact, the discomfort palpable.
“I don't think that's our door, Leovander.” Sebastian said, now standing beside his partner.
Leo glanced at the door in question. It was the same, unmarked door from earlier. “That's the door we came through, isn't it Grimm?”
The caster nodded, still avoiding his eyes.
“I suppose that's your exit then. Sebastian and I will have to wait for ours.” Leovander said, “it's been a real treat seeing you both.”
“I think I have a headache.” Grimm said dryly, rubbing his temples.
“Are you alright?” Leo asked.
“There are two of you, two of me, we're in a tower of memories after traveling via wolf-monster…. So no.” the caster groaned.
“You two should be on your way, worry about all that later.” Sebastian said. Both younger sorcerers noticed him place his arm around Leovander's waist as they said their goodbyes.
“Things will be tough for a bit, but if anyone can handle this curse, it's you two. We would know.” The older scriver gave a cheeky smile while discretely leaning into Sebastian's touch.
“Alright, time to go!” Leo blurted out, grabbing Grimm by the wrist. “Have fun in the fog room, you strange illusions!” He turned away to hide the heat in his face while towing Grimm over to the door.
“Leo!” Grimm protested roughly, but did not shake him off. Fueled by the awkward situation and against his better judgement, the caster squeezed Leo's hand. The other man startled slightly, but then squeezed back, causing Grimm's heart rate to skyrocket.
In the next instant, Leo turned the doorknob, and Grimm cast a final look over his shoulder. As they were pulled back into the murky shadows they came from, he glimpsed his older self kissing the cheek of a laughing Leovander. The sight was so overwhelmingly warm and domestic that for a brief moment, he almost believed it to be everything he never knew he wanted.
Leo and Grimm were tossed around in the disorienting shadows, up was down, left was right, but their hands remained connected, never letting go. After what felt like ages, they tumbled out onto the tower stairs in a heap. They both sat up slowly, heads feeling as foggy as the contents of the mystery door.
“What on earth was that room?” Leo groaned. The only answer he got was Grimm awkwardly clearing his throat to get his attention. He glanced at the caster, then at the man's hand, which he was mortified to discover he had in a vice grip. He pulled his hand back like he'd been burned. “My, my, Grimm, I know I'm charming but you should ask before taking my hand!”
“You are the one who had your hand on my shoulder, Loveage.” The caster growled, though his ears were a lovely shade of crimson.
“You said we shouldn't get separated! It was probably the curse that compelled me to grab your hand when we were thrown around the fog like rag dolls.
“I told you we shouldn't have gone into that room, and look, you didn't even get anything out of it!”
“Leo? Grimm?” Sybilla's voice startled them out of their argument as she approached them in the stairs. They stood up, looking down at her. “Oh there you boys are, I was beginning to get worried, you've been gone over an hour.”
“an hour? Nonsense, all I did was peek in this strange door. We got pulled in, but all we saw was a murky fog before being spat out again.” Leo huffed in disappointment, not bothering to hide that he was snooping around. Sybilla looked at the door.
“Oh dear.” She said, delicately placing her hand over her mouth for a moment. “Leo, this room is incomplete. Due to the finicky nature of these doors, there are memory spells in place on the unfinished rooms. I can't have people walking into a room full of unstable magic all willy-nilly. I have no idea where the magic will take them or what they'll see, so perhaps it seems like you were only in there for a moment, but you really have been gone awhile.”
“A memory spell? I suppose that explains why I don't remember when I let go of Grimm's shoulder.”
“I told you we should not have gone in there.” Grimm's exasperation was palpable.
“Yes, well, you two have had your break, now I have some spells for you Grimm, and Leo, I've collected more books. Shall we get back to work?” Sybilla asked, unbothered by the fact that they had been snooping.
As they followed Sybilla down the stairs, Leo found himself looking at his partially blackened thumbnail. It tickled something in his mind. He let his gaze wander over the rest of his nails, a strange warmth nestling deep in his chest.
“Everything alright Loveage?” Grimm's voice pulled him from his thoughts. The caster stood, holding open the door that Sybilla had just gone into and looking at Leo curiously. When their eyes met, there was a pause. They both held their breath, an odd sense of familiarity floating between them.
“Yes.” Leo said, breaking the moment and shaking his head to clear his thoughts. “Yes, I’m fine. Just thinking about what spells I’ll craft for duality once we’re home.” he gave Grimm a cheeky smile. The caster simply rolled his eyes, motioning towards the open door. Leo followed him in, his spirits high and his heart unusually light. They still had work to do, but soon the curse would be undone and they would return to the Fount. When they got back, maybe, just maybe he and Grimm would become friends, and that was something worth looking forward to.