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She knew this was.. really not a good decision.
From the moment she could tune into what the opinions were of the other circus members, she’d been told it wasn’t wise to get involved with him. Saw how he acted, behaved around others, even how he addressed his own problems and feelings. No sense of emotionality, and no intentions of being anything but a mental menace to the other residents of this world.
She wondered what the reactions would be. She thinks about it particularly right before it happens— a walk in, an accidental stumbled on place, a reveal of some kind. Then what? Probably shock and disbelief, telling her she knows better, it will only hurt her in the end, then what she really expects. A sense of betrayal in their faces, of bitterness, disappointment. Doubt in her would seep into the fabric of every relationship she had here, and soon, maybe herself would become as mentally dysfunctional like a poorly planned adventure.
She knows that its irrational to believe those things could happen or would.
Of course, getting her head was easy like that, almost a natural occurrence for the few members of the digital space they coded into. But, maybe it prompted this.
Because what wasn’t supposed to be a natural occurrence was being pinned against the corner in her own room, and feeling a certain rabbit’s gloved hands grip her like he needed her, like he had needed this for a long time coming.
Could feel the way his fingers clutched at her small hips, could feel the way he shifted closer like whatever air between them was wrong, could feel the short, purple fuzz on his skin sometimes stand when her fingertips brushed at invisible shoulder blades.
“You like doing that, huh?” He asked, a teasing quip with a class stupid smirk on that face of his. She knew it was there, even if it was buried in the place between her hidden ear and her neck.
“More like you like it.” Pomni hummed back, raising her chin just a tad, “You just won’t admit it.”
“Sounds like you got me down pat, huh cupcake?” That voice, Pomni could feel the subtle heat of her own go from the tip of her head down to her feet in a single go. “Should I say congratulations?”
“You should be doing what you came here for.” She takes his overall straps into one hand, yanking the younger back from her neck, his hiding place. “And last time I checked, wasn’t for talking.”
“Awh, so heartbreaking.” The cockiness as he let his head slip to the side, “You liked it when I did it last time, didn’t you though?”
She did— He was able to turn those running cycle of thoughts into straight mush, teasing and pulling and handling her like she was little more than putty in his hands. And she knew exactly what she did for him in that way too, a pull from their reality.
“Oh, you do want to talk about that?” She quirked an eyebrow up at him, and someway was able to escape his large hands. “The time before that too, why don’t you? Finding me in that hide and seek adventure just to hear me s-“
His hands returned back to her hips and easily, picked her up like she was a little play doll, and sat her down onto her bed with a plush sound effect coming from the cushioned duvet.
“Youre right—“ He quickly shuts that upcoming comment off, hands imprinting on the duvet on the sides of her thighs as he leans his body down. “No more talking.”
And while Pomni wants to celebrate one-upping him in this small way, her rational thought seems to shut down instantly when he brings a hand to almost possessively grab her jaw and meet her lips to his. It’s easy to edge him on like that, because hes just like her.
Making bad decisions that could turn even worse on a flip of a dime.
He kisses her with a trained position hes learned with her- before, the first time was so sudden and rushed that Pomni could barely discover if he had even tried to kiss someone else before. He had been there for years he had said once, and without practice, could make anyone rusty.
But it’s like no matter what came out his mouth, his actions reflected different. He kissed like he had thought about it with purpose, squeezed her thighs like he planned on it, snuck into her brainwaves like he plotted it. His nonchalance extended only to the end of his syllables, then everything else deviated.
With a lasting surprise, Jax kissed her with an eager touch, his lips molding like they had every time since the first time, and the moment Pomni could feel his tongue gliding past her lips, it was over.
Like instinct, her hands smoothed over the front of his overalls, and did the thing she knew he enjoyed like it was natural— tug on his straps, making him come closer. Just that alone made his vocal cords sing a particularly nice groan, like teasing a man with pulling on his belt loops.
And come closer he did, nearly leaning right over her as she clung onto his overalls, hovering her right above the surface of the cool blanket under them. Her knees knocked against his low hips, and he took that only as more encouragement to taste her even more intensely than before.
His broad hand left her jaw, and down further it went. Every nerve in her body tracked it like it was true human touch, following it as it brushed against right where her collarbones would be, then a flat palm right against her chest. The sensation was dramatic, sensitive skin, code being played with. She didn’t care what made up her body now— it felt fantastic in a world where sensory stimulation was never supposed to be used like this.
She breathed, shuttered, against his lips, and that creeping smile made its return again- satisfaction had settled into him over something like making Pomni sigh in enjoyment. But she knew that was a game easily played for both teams.
Her knocking knees spread even more apart to make room for the lean menace towering over her, and raised until they could loosely wrap around his waist and hips, then eased him down to meet her own pelvis. She was glad she let her eyes peek open, because the reaction was gratifying.
An unoccupied hand wrung the duvet beside her head into his fist, and his eyes squeezed with a need to hold back, but it was no use. The groan, clearer and more filled this time wrung between his teeth, as if he was attempting to resist and failing. It made something in Pomni throb violently. She had heard him groan before, mostly in irritation, but this was a direct reaction to her body finally meeting his in a particular way he couldn’t prepare for, and that was desperately hard to process.
And without really processing anything even a little bit further, she let her hips lift, and meet his pelvis again, and she knew she had a victory to be marked on a scoreboard somewhere.
“Fuu- BEEP.” He groaned out, the straight arm keeping him up and hand clutching the fabric wobbled and soon, he pressed his forearm flatly by her head, impeccably closer.
“Hm? What did I do?” He asked with a feigned innocence, but couldn’t resist the smile that appeared anyways. His eyes opened, and she knew she had done it. He looked right into her eyes, a huff on his lips like he was barely holding his own.
“Don’t worry.” His legs finally kneeled onto the bed instead of standing at its edge, nearly pinning the jester under him. “You’ll find out.”
His hips pushed before, and deliciously, grinded right against her thighs and the junction between them, and every human sense in her buzzed to life with a indescribable sense and pleasure that she could only dream to feel again in real life. She tilted her head back, feeling the soft moan come straight out of her lungs along with whatever breath she was holding in, and her hands ditched his straps to hold his shoulders with a grip.
Jax knew exactly when to stop things outside of these moments, but maybe that hadn’t extended to when she became like liquid in his hands, because all it took was his body pressing against her that made them both lose that war.
Grinding, humping, pushing- whatever it was, it was fucking delightful. Both of them groaned together, and it only pushed him further, deeper, harder. Phantom sense was all they needed, a left over ‘glitch’ in the system caine would have called it, but a sense that could never be erased like a cache data in a app. This was permanent, human, and fuck, it felt good, if not a little scary.
Pomni’s hair falls away from her forehead as her head tilts back, and Jax took that picture to lean down and touch what was actually there— nipping, licking, huffing against her neck as they found a rhythmic pattern to their grinding. She responded with letting her fingernails graze his back like before, only with much more enthusiasm. His back twitched under that attention, and Jax loved to retaliate.
Hands came to break Pomni’s legs away from his waist, and settles right at the hinge behind her knees and pushes them more apart and up, damn near folding the other in half as he leans further onto her, now fully onto the bed as he shifted. Provoking him like this was exciting, if not just a tad dangerous. But, that was stimulus she got no where else, in the same way, she was the kind of stimulus he wanted. Both perfectly able to accept this interesting, desirable kind of distraction, if not rebellion.
He pushed his pelvis against her once, twice, thrice as he watched her face contort again into a soft pleasure, fluttering eyelashes and twitching hands and all. He let her keep her hands right where she had them, but there wasn’t a mistake— there was no easy competition here to make one crack before the other. He leans his chest almost right against hers, and finds her lips.
“Your sounds—“ He huffs as he pushes their bodies together again and again, “Fu- BEEP, Pomni.”
Oh, that strain in his voice. Before she can interpret its meaning, he grinds particularly hard down, and soon the dimly lit interior of her room looked like it was bursting at the seems with purples and pinks and blues. She gasps, clawing at his back, his nape, and suddenly she was silenced by a messy kiss with all tongue and muted groaning. Whatever thoughts she had about bad ideas and doubts and all that bullshit seemed like a million years ago compare to right now.
It feels real, more real than anything else, this spark between their bodies lighting up every new second now, making them both nearly crumble every second after that. But they chase it, with a sort of reckless disregard for any consequences. Chase each others taste, chasing to hear each other moan and buzz into the others mouth, chasing that sense of release unusual to this world.
Pomni particularly wants to get frustrated at their clothes— she wants to abandon them like she could before, to especially let him toss them off of her body like the rags he probably saw them as, and she wants to do the exact same to him. Wants to feel nothing between them. But they are glued tight (except for the straps of Jax’s overalls and Pomni’s jester hat, probably another oversight in design) and gets to enjoy the delicious friction of fabric instead of the skin on skin she wishes she could have.
But fuck, she will take what she has because god, watching him through her heavily lidded eyes sigh and thrust harder when he too can’t hold it in, is a turnon she never knew she could have. He mumbles under his breath as he pushes harder and faster, and just as she closes her eyes to finally surrender to this pending bad idea, his kiss centers her again, and when she opens her eyes, finds his pupils looking right back at her, not wide and comedic like usual, but deeply studious, smaller but full of intensity. They flutter at every single movement between their sensitive, touch starved bodies, and they flicker between her wet lips and her eyes.
His fingers twitch behind her thin knees, her hips start to move together with his, and they are running to a release they wear on their faces. Pomnis hands run back up, and grip the moveable fabric at the top of his shoulders, clutches it in her small fists, raises her hips to make his strokes faster, quicker from his place above her, and hotly presses her lips onto his with the needy whisper of his name on her lips.
Thats it for him— he moans into the kiss for only for a few seconds before he forcefully breaks it to groan into the space above her hair. His hips stutter, rut hard into her, his fingers and palms squeeze her underthighs tightly, and his breath halts just to say-
“Pomni— Haah..!” His body shakes with the wash of pleasure over it. Pomni nearly collaspes, almost, but watching him derails it just a little from her utter interest in his reaction to an overwhelming sensory overload. It seems like for a moment, he wants to collapse, fall apart on her to let the last racks of energy go through his animated body.
But he doesn’t.
Instead, his hips meet Pomni’s for the umpteenth time, and this time, hes chasing it just for Pomni. He grinds down into the beautiful place between her thighs, faster-
“C-Can you feel it?” His voice is thick with desire, but a tad clearer than before. “Wish you could really feel me-“
Pomni is seeing fucking stars dancing above Jax’s frame at his words. The idea of letting a human Jax even touch her is going to be enough to keep her awake for a few nights. The phantom sense warps around her body’s code like its trying to convince it to break, a human beings nervous system fighting against a modded computer intel and winning. For the briefest of moments, she can feel it, feel the lightening in her thighs, down to her toes. The way heat would pool in, how his pulsing thrusts only make it unbearable to last.
“Pomni—“ He groans, as if he is overstimulated, yet goes on anyways, “Pomni.”
It comes immediately; Like her entire being collapses under her human senses and surrenders itself. The heat spreads over her body, her back arches with a moan she wasn’t sure was possible to actually come out of her, and somewhere in the mix, her grip is loosening, tightening around Jax with his name being let out into the air.
“Jax—!” The core of her being breaks, for now, and releases their overload of sensation. His breath, his body heat, him, him him him. It accepts the sensory overload as pleasure and god, does she feel it wrack every single digit in her body, nowhere that it was meant to be, but powerful enough to break past the wall that was hidden in them all.
She opens her eyes but finds them filled with watery tears of straight stimulation, and he intakes it all. The electricity bounces off everywhere and everything, and she can feel him. His energy and hers, intermingled, like a shared port.
She doesn’t get to catch her breath before he comes down and kisses her, the final, desperate kiss before this becomes the bad idea they both shared. It felts good, releasing, relaxing every shot nerve still left in her body. It helps more when he separates his hips from her frame, and lets her now tired legs down from her possessive hold.
And by the time she sat up onto her elbows, then up, he had gotten off the bed. Breathing hard, looking towards the other side of the room like he never saw it. His shoulders she can tell, ache just a little from how he doesn’t move them as he attempts to control his breathing. His face was still a shade darker than usual from his flushed cheeks, and yet, that stupid, all encompassing smirk, like he hadnt utterly fallen apart for a digital girl in a jester get-up.
That face, she had been warned about more than enough times. Being around him, getting friendly with someone like him, wasnt wise. She knew everyone had more than enough experience with him to say that for a fact. And this wasn’t a good decision to make.. over and over and over again.
Her whole body still hummed, every nerve replaying the shape of his touch, the way his voice cracked when he said her name, the way he nearly fell apart like they weren’t made of fragile, digital scraps, like she was something real, like flesh to him. And that was dangerous, she knew. He avoided reality, spat it out.
Before she could catch it, it tumbles out of her mouth.
“Is this a bad idea?”
Jax grins, in the certain twinge in his eyes that she can feel even the smallest bit of sincerity ooze from.
“The worst I’ve had in years.”
The words should have hit her square in the chest, but they don’t in the slightest. He says it with no familiar malice to his voice, no venom. He let it come out like it was a familiar thought, a residential idea stuck to the walls in his brain. The words don’t strike her at all, but his tone does.
“So.. what happens next time?” She asked with a slight curiosity to her words, interested if he wants to shut this whole situation between them down, if he will block her away like he does to anything remotely as emotional or physical as this. But instead of backing away from it all, he bends down at the waist to look at her, and looks her over with an interest.
“Next time..”
He mutters with an edge to his voice that wraps around her spine in a way she wishes she could deny or turn away, to save them both from what could come.
But he spares no second thought.
“We’ll make another bad decision.”
She doesn’t bother lying to herself saying she won’t do exactly that.