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“I have a dumb idea,” Suho tells him after their date.
They’re walking side by side on a busy street downtown, hands brushing every few steps. Summer is nearing its end so Sieun gladly put on a hoodie while Suho insisted his thin windbreaker would suffice, even though Sieun can now clearly see him chattering underneath it. He can’t wait until they get home to their lovely heating they’re paying a small fortune and undress him, cover his skin with his own.
The street they’re parsing through is well-lit, a series of cafes and shops adorning its sides and corners, colourful lighting all around. Sieun watches as its all dances on Suho’s face, his eyes sparkling with each lamp post and window shop they pass by.
He’s smiling. Sieun blinks.
“Did you hear me?” Suho says with a cocky grin already stretching his face and oh Sieun knows he’s trapped as soon as he sees it.
He gulps, nods. “Yes,” he says, makes himself focus on Suho’s eyes. “You said you have a dumb idea.”
Suho’s grin morphs into a smirk and soon there’s an arm thrown over Sieun’s shoulders, a body pressed to his. Sieun freezes for half a second before he lets himself slip his own arm behind Suho’s back, in lieu of warming him up, nothing else.
Lips lightly press to the shell of Sieun’s ear. He inhales at the sensation.
“Quit looking at me like that,” Suho whispers, hot breath hitting Sieun’s ear. He moves away, catches Sieun’s eyes and winks.
“Like what?” Sieun asks, not oblivious in the slightest. He can’t help himself.
Suho’s smiling again, the kind of smile Sieun usually gets just before Suho’s lips land on his and whatever they were doing prior gets quickly forgotten. Sieun’s breath catches in his throat as he anticipates it, eager to see if Suho will do it, right here, in the middle of the street, seas of people around them.
It wouldn’t be couth or even safe but Sieun wants.
Suho leans back, faces the street again. Sieun’s eyes fall to his lips. They’ve gone pale in the chilly night but Sieun wants them on him, wants to taste Suho’s mouth.
“Anyway,” Suho says, breaks Sieun out of his reverie. “I know you don’t believe in all that but I thought it’d be fun.”
“What is it?” Sieun asks because he would follow Suho to the moon on foot if he so asked. It would be terribly impractical and dangerous but Sieun would be there, let their hands brush past each other every step of the way.
Suho chuckles and Sieun know he’s getting ahead of himself in imagining whatever whims he’s conjured up for them now. Sieun waits, knows the chuckle will turn into a lopsided grin aimed at Sieun.
Just so, it happens. Suho looks at him and Sieun finds himself leaning forward, bewitched by Suho’s lips or words or everything in between.
“It’s, ah,” Suho turns a lovely shade of red, emphasised by the streetlights and Sieun’s hand twitches in his pocket. He wants to press his digits into Suho’s cheeks and feel the warmth there until it’s theirs, shared between them like fervent kisses that would be sure to follow.
“It’s a tarot reading,” Suho finishes with a bunched up smile, all red as he watches Sieun.
“A tarot reading?” Sieun asks, the words only a mimic of Suho’s since Sieun can’t think, not when Suho’s arm is heavy around his shoulders, face only inches away, lips curved into a smile, pulling at him like a moth to a flame.
Suho hums and nods. They’ve stopped walking. Sieun can’t pinpoint when that was.
“You remember,” Suho starts and moves away as he laughs. Sieun’s hand on his back pulls him back just a little, just a touch of pressure to have Suho parallel to himself. “You remember when I said we were married in our previous lives?”
Sieun frowns, the spell he was under dissipating like fog, clearing his head. “What?” he asks.
Married? Sometimes Sieun thinks about it, when it’s deep in the night and Suho’s in bed next to him, sprawled out, one arm over Sieun, not a line on his face as he sleeps. Then, Sieun thinks and wishes he could tether himself to Suho, in writing if it has to be, just so he could obliterate any qualms about having him forever.
“Yeah,” Suho says, unaware of the potion of feelings he’s poured into Sieun with his words. “When I saw you on the bus that one time?”
Sieun’s still mesmerized – by Suho’s illuminated face, by the illusion that they could marry, by the body under his fingertips.
Suho takes his blank face as an answer, quirks up another smile about it. “You really don’t remember?” he asks, shakes his head. Sieun can’t find himself ever forgetting something about Suho but at the present moment he’s like a bird in a cage – caught, unmoved but singing, singing, singing.
“I joked we were married because we kept crossing paths,” Suho explains, scratches the back of his neck in embarrassment.
“Maybe we were,” Sieun hears himself say, quiet in the bustling street but Suho hears him, whips his head around.
He jostles their joined bodies in delight and gets them walking again, prattling a mile a minute, “Right? I think we were, too. There’s a tarot café right around the corner. Jaeyoung told me about it at work. He went with this girl he’s trying to date.”
Unsurprisingly, Sieun goes with his flow as they turn into an alley, mourns the loss of all the lights catching onto Suho’s face until Suho uses the shadows to press a quick kiss to Sieun’s lips. It’s brief and cold but Sieun feels it like a brand long after they’ve parted.
The dark doesn’t last long because Suho leads them to a new street, narrower than the main one they’ve just departed. He’s got a satisfied smirk on his face, still plastered to Sieun and the amalgam of feelings coursing through him.
The search for the café doesn’t last long, though Sieun is seconds away from eyeing another dark corner himself, one where he can push Suho against a wall and lick into his mouth, enough for the thrill to feel like he’s dancing with the devil.
The café they enter is well-lit, a complete contrast to where they just came from. It’s got several patrons already at the tables, the supposed tarot readers on opposite sides, lifting cards, pointing at them, explaining animatedly.
It looks like a normal café – a bar in the corner, a bartender polishing glasses, soft instrumental music emanating from hidden speakers, patrons murmuring with the readers. If Sieun’s mind was all there, he would have built up expectations, an idea of the place but right now he takes it in anew and lets Suho tug him to an available table.
It’s in the farthest corner from the entrance, next to a window through which nothing can be seen except a brick wall. Must be the facing the alley where Suho kissed him. There are dark purple curtains adorning the window and they perfectly match a set of purple tarot cards on the table below it.
At the table is a woman, Sieun assumes she’s also a tarot reader, with dark hair weaved into a braid, her fringe falling over her face. She’s shuffling some cards with deft hands, first from one palm into another then vice versa and Sieun can’t figure out which hand is her dominant one.
It doesn’t matter. Suho squeezes into a chair to the wall, dragging Sieun to sit next to him.
“Hello,” Suho says, bows. Sieun follows suit, forces himself to pay attention.
“Evening, boys,” the woman says and looks up. Her earrings glisten as she bows back, a polite smile ready on her face. There are tattoos climbing up her throat from her chest but her wavy dress hides the rest of them. Bracelets dangle from her wrists as she continues shuffling the cards and it appears as if that’s second nature to her.
“What brings you here?” she asks, looks from Suho to Sieun.
“Ah,” Suho starts and hooks his arm through Sieun’s in an unexpected show of affection. Sieun stills in his seat. “My friend and I here,” he says and Sieun knows he also feels his stomach twist at the expression. “we’ve just celebrated 500 days of our, uh, friendship and we just wanted to see if we’re, y’know, compatible.”
Sieun gulps as the woman eyes them, a suspicious glint in her eyes brewing with Suho’s words.
“Friend, you say?” she says finally, flicks her eyes to Sieun. He stares back.
Suho nods vigorously. “Yup, yeah, best of friends,” he adds, squeezes his arm around Sieun’s.
Sieun wants to ask him why lead them here after their date, after having such an enchanting evening (though, that may be just Sieun’s charmed perspective) but he’s learned to trust Suho over the years.
The woman watches them for another moment then stops with her ministrations, gathers all the cards on the table and shuffles them in three quick swoops.
“Can I have your names?” she asks. She still looks sceptical, as if she’s about to uncover some shady dealings (no pun intended) but Suho’s thrown on his best smile just for her, enough to distract her from Sieun’s unamused glare.
They introduce themselves, Suho with a wink and Sieun without a change in his face. The woman looks at Sieun an extra second longer then smiles to herself and says, “Miss Yewon, nice to meet you,” she bows back. “So, you want to know if you’re compatible as… friends?”
“Mhm,” Suho nods, gives her a quick thumbs up. “And, if you don’t mind, we’d like to know more about our past lives.”
Miss Yewon lifts one perfectly arched eyebrow at him. “Oh?”
“We’re just,” Suho says, glances at Sieun’s expressionless face, briefly cringes, faces the woman again. “so curious.”
“Alright, Suho,” she says and begins to lay out cards on the table. She puts four cards in a circle and then three more cards in a vertical line on the side. Once she’s done, she taps one manicured finger on the card closest to two of them, one at the bottom of the circle. She looks up. “This card describes one of you. We don’t know the card yet so it could be either of you. Who wants to go first?”
As expected, Suho raises his hand first quickly.
Miss Yewon smiles at Suho. Sieun understands – he’s eager, he’s cute, he’s all that in one frenzy of a person.
She flips the card and it shows a man in a chariot with two sphinxes on the front. The man is nearly gilded, covered from head to toe in knight wear, a long spear held in one hand.
“The Chariot,” Miss Yewon announces with an impressed cadence. She gestures at Suho, “Are you familiar with this card?”
Suho shakes his head. He’s got an elated expression on his face and Sieun wonders if it would be weird to keep his eyes on him the entire session.
“Nope, I don’t know anything,” Suho replies and beckons her to go on.
Miss Yewon nods and picks up the card, her rings shimmering in the light. “Notice the sphinxes,” she points at them. “One is white, the other is black,” she says and goes to proceed when Sieun, who took an art history class one semester in cram school, is suddenly greedy for Suho’s attention on him so he interrupts with, “They’re opposing sides.”
Like clockwork, Suho’s head cranes to awe at Sieun. Sieun offers him a small smile, one that would go unnoticed by most but not Suho.
“Yes,” Miss Yewon clears her throat and both of them look back at her. “They signify opposing forces, we say.”
“I have such a smart friend,” Suho babbles and then closes his mouth when Sieun lightly kicks his foot under the table.
Miss Yewon clicks her tongue and continues, “It means, Suho, you’re like our knight here. You’re strong and led by two sides but you can be wise, you trust yourself enough to choose what’s right. You’re very balanced.”
Suho, having gone bashful during her presentation, smiles at both of them. “Thank you, I guess I am.”
Sieun’s heart thuds against his chest. Of course, he is. What else would Ahn Suho be?
Miss Yewon hums. “This can be very good for relationships. You’re more inclined to overcome a problem than let it fester, is that right?”
Suho nods, looks at Sieun. Sieun doesn’t have anything to add – if it were up to him, he wouldn’t need cards to describe Suho’s spirit at all.
Miss Yewon puts the card back and puts a finger over the next card, the first in the vertical line. She makes unwavering eye contact with Sieun and, sure, he can play this game. He doesn’t trust her and she must sense it. Not to mention their shabby ‘friendship’ cover. It doesn’t matter. He gets to go home with Suho regardless of the outcome or her opinion.
Wordlessly, she flips the second card. On it, a haloed woman with a lion is pictured. She’s wearing all white and she’s seemingly petting the lion.
“Hmm, this is strength,” Miss Yewon says, thoughtful. “Look at her dress, what colour is it?”
“White,” Suho answers immediately then sputters. “Shit, sorry, not my turn,” he mumbles, waves one hand at Sieun to gesture he should talk.
Sieun fixes Suho with an exasperated look that both of them know doesn’t carry any weight.
“White symbolises innocence and purity,” Sieun tells her.
Miss Yewon nods. “Exactly. It could mean you’re innocent and pure – “
Next to Sieun, Suho snorts into his own palm. Sieun kicks his foot again.
“Suho, everything alright?” Miss Yewon asks but the look on her face reveals she already knows what’s going on.
“No, nope, nothing, go on, innocent and pure, that’s him,” Suho murmurs with blazing cheeks. Sieun sighs.
“Right,” Miss Yewon clears her throat. She looks at Sieun again. “So, it symbolises innocence, maybe even compassion. Now, there’s an infinity symbol above her. It means you’re balanced, in touch with people around you and what’s going on inside you. Is that correct?”
Sieun blinks at her. Inside of him is a brew of feelings Suho has possessed him with, both sweet like nectar and intoxicating like liqueur, washing up his insides like a raging tide and he cannot show it on his face, doesn’t know how. He can only grab Suho and translate all these feelings through his touch and lips, until Suho himself is drunk on it.
“No,” Sieun finally says. Suho wanted to check this out, it would be foolish of Sieun to ruin it by lying.
Miss Yewon purses her lips, glances back at the card. “Perhaps the lion is more your forte. He represents raw instincts and passion – “
“Oh, yeah, that’s him,” Suho supplies and then shuts his mouth when she points an icy look at him.
“You can make your fears into something else, something like motivation?” she asks Sieun.
He nods curtly.
“Exactly, and relationship-wise, this fear might turn into insecurities? Is there tension in your relationship?”
Suho shifts in his seat and Sieun can hear his thoughts, can hear him going “sexual tension only, am I right?” so Sieun only spares a glimpse at Suho’s blissfully blank face before shrugging at her.
“Could be,” he says.
She squints her eyes at him but lets it go, whatever she wanted to pick a bone with. She moves on to the third card, back to the ones in the circle. Before she picks it up, she faces both of them.
“This card will let me know about your past,” she announces. Suho claps his hands and goes to say something but she stares him down. He closes his mouth, shrugs at Sieun in defeat. Sieun wants to hear it, whatever he was about to utter, regardless he can predict it already.
Miss Yewon turns the card over. There’s a spirit in the upper part of the card, also haloed like the lady from the card before. It’s surrounded in clouds but two figures below it – a man and a woman – look up at it. Miss Yewon observes a card for a few moments before lifting it to the two of them.
“This is a lovers card,” she says and, it’s as if she’s expecting it, pauses to let Suho exclaim, “I knew it!”
Suho shakes Sieun’s arm he’s still attached to, a giddy smile on his face, looking back and forth between the card and Sieun. Even Sieun can’t contain his glee, though it’s more a contagion of Suho’s state than actual feelings towards a random card. There’s a bit of red clinging to the apples of Suho’s cheeks, whether it’s from the warmth of the café or surge of excitement, Sieun can’t tell. He just knows he’d like to touch it, perhaps bite into it until Suho’s laughing at him.
“Didn’t I tell you?” Suho leans in to Sieun, their noses touching before reeling back. “I knew it.”
“Can I go on?” Miss Yewon asks, an annoyed twitch situated between her eyebrows.
“Yes, thank you, please tell us more,” Suho responds and wiggles his eyebrows at Sieun. Sieun never wants to look away from him.
She inhales and exhales. “This card represents a previous bond between two people.”
Suho taps his sneaker against Sieun’s, keeps it there.
“See the spirit in the sky? It’s blessing their love, their bond. We don’t really have the vocabulary to describe what this means but it would be something akin to soulmates.”
Suho gasps, Sieun can feel it from where they’re connected. “Soulmates? So, we weren’t just married?”
Miss Yewon cocks her head at him. “What?”
Suho starts, pauses. Looks at Sieun sheepishly. “Uh, well, I thought we were married in our past life so…”
There’s a scowl taking place on Miss Yewon’s face and Sieun is beginning to think their session will be ending sooner than later.
“Sure,” she says coldly. “It could mean marriage. The card represents bonds, usually here they are described as beyond physical, hence the spirit blessing it.”
“Beautiful,” Suho nods, then disentangles from Sieun in one smooth move. Sieun allows him but he immediately misses the warmth and solidity of his arm.
Oblivious, Suho slaps his knee, shoves one hand into his pocket, takes out someting and leaves a wad of cash on the table next to the unopened cards.
“Thank you so much, we got what we came for,” Suho says and jumps to his feet. Next to him, Sieun does the same, though with noticeably less fervour. “You were great and we’ll be going now.”
Suho twirls Sieun until he’s facing the exit and gently pushes him forward.
“Uh,” Miss Yewon stutters. “But the rest of the cards – “
“We’re sure it’s all love and strong bonds, soulmates…” Suho trails off as he shifts them from the table, gains advantage on Sieun and leads them out of the café, hand in hand.
The cold air hits Sieun like an icy bath but Suho’s warm palm in his keeps him focused. Suho leads them back to the dark alleyway, though even deeper now where the light barely reaches. Without a warning, he has Sieun by the shoulders and pushes him against a nearby wall.
Before Sieun can protest, Suho presses closer, lips landing on Sieun’s cheek, nose, corner of his lips.
“Did you hear that?” Suho says into his skin. “We’re soulmates.”
Sieun laughs right at him, happy and relaxed even though they’re in an unknown place with warmth miles away. It doesn’t matter. He’s got Suho with himself.
“We didn’t need,” Sieun begins but Suho kisses his jaw and effectively stops his train of thought for a moment. Sieun puts his hands on Suho’s waist just to keep himself steady.
“We didn’t need cards to tell us that,” Sieun rasps out, cranes his neck higher so Suho can mark him all he likes.
Suho chuckles as he travels downwards to make his wish come true, leaves soft kisses in his wake. “Charmer,” he says, reverent. “I wonder who made the first move in our past life.”
Sieun sighs as Suho’s lips finally make their target. Suho gently pulls the skin between his teeth and then lets it go to suck a mean red mark onto it.
“Probably you,” Sieun says, voice catching on the syllables as Suho works his magic.
Sieun can feel the move of his lips against him, can imagine the smile forming on them. “Hmm,” he hums, presses a kiss to the mark. Sieun shivers at the sensation. Then, Suho leans back, admires his work for a few seconds. Sieun can feel the saliva drying on his throat, can still feel a phantom swipe of Suho’s tongue on it.
Suho’s smiling, lips swollen, looking at Sieun like he hung the moon. Sieun desperately needs to kiss him. He grabs the front of Suho’s windbreaker to pull him in but Suho closes a hand over Sieun’s, pausing everything.
“Who do you think proposed first?” Suho asks and Sieun feels captured under his stare. No other place we would rather be.
“You did,” Sieun breathes out in the space between them. “Both times.”
Suho’s eyebrows furrow. “Both times?”
Sieun hooks one hand on Suho’s nape with the other renewing its efforts, clinging to his windbreaker. His resolve crumbling, Suho leans forward in increments.
“In our past life and in this one,” Sieun explains, their noses bumping into each other.
“When – “
“The bus,” Sieun smiles and he may have been too dazed to picture it then but now, as he thinks about it, he remember a young Suho riding up to the bus, much like a siren would to a ship and demanding Sieun’s attention. Sieun didn’t know opening that window meant giving him his whole life but he wouldn’t change it.
Suho laughs and his hot breath hits Sieun, still hints of coffee he had after dinner. Sieun can’t wait any longer. He rises up on his tip-toes and presses his lips to Suho’s, sighing at the touch.
Sieun moves fast, ever the opportunist, licks over Suho’s bottom lip until his mouth parts, moans as he slips inside, caresses Suho’s tongue. It’s hurried and messy, both moaning, gripping each other wherever they can. Sieun’s hand moves up to Suho’s hair and he grips it, gets Suho to keen into his mouth at the pull.
Suho works a thigh between Sieun’s legs and it graduates from hurried to frantic. There’s saliva coating the sides of their lips and chin, there’s teeth and knocking tongues as Sieun rests on the firm thigh beneath him. They need to go home as soon as possible. Sieun needs to claim him, again and again and again.
It’s Suho who breaks the kiss, grunting. “Fuck,” he gasps, rests his forehead against Sieun’s.
Sieun’s insatiable so he goes to catch Suho’s lips again but Suho dodges, places a hand on Sieun’s cheek. “Sieunnie,” he chuckles, runs a thumb over Sieun’s reddened cheek. “We’re in public. Let’s go home.”
Sieun sighs, both frustrated at their predicament and pleased they have a place to hole up in, tangled in each other, far from anyone’s eyes.
He turns his head and kisses Suho’s palm. “Let’s go.”