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Sebastian was halfway through a pint with Garreth and Amit when his phone buzzed on the table beside him. He glanced at it, intending to ignore it … until he caught the preview of a payment notification. Curiosity piqued, he discreetly picked it up under the table, thumb swiping down through the notifications.
He froze.
Venmo: Received $2.00 from Ominis Gaunt.
Attached message: Hello. I would like to buy 1 attention please.
Sebastian closed his eyes and sighed, long and deep. “Oh, for fuck’s sake.”
Garreth, ever the predator for gossip, leaned over immediately, eyes gleaming like a cat that had just spotted something twitching. “What? Who’s sending you money? Is this a sugar daddy situation? Because I have questions.”
Sebastian shoved his phone face-down on the table. “No one.”
Amit blinked at him. “Was it… Ominis?”
“Who else would it be?” Sebastian muttered, tone dry enough to burn toast.
Garreth let out a loud, delighted laugh. “You two are so weird. It's like you’re dating, but also somehow emotionally divorced.”
Sebastian didn’t even dignify that with a response. He just took a long drink from his pint before he pulled up his text conversation with Ominis.
Sebastian: Did you just Venmo me two dollars?
Ominis: Yes.
Sebastian: …Why?
Ominis: I told you. I want to buy 1 attention.
Garreth watched Sebastian tap out messages with the kind of grin that belonged to someone who’d just found the punchline of the evening. “Ominis being needy again?”
Sebastian groaned. “He paid me for attention.”
Garreth laughed so hard he actually snorted and shot beer out his nose.
“Shut up,” Sebastian said flatly, but his ears had turned a little pink.
Garreth wasn’t done. “Tell him two dollars isn’t gonna cut it. Your attention’s worth at least, what? Three-fifty, minimum.”
Sebastian flipped him off, then picked the phone back up, and typed a quick text.
Sebastian: You think my love and affection is worth 2 dollars?
Ominis: Not really, but the tip is included.
Sebastian pinched the bridge of his nose. He could practically hear Ominis’s prim little voice in his head, so smug, so unrepentant.
Sebastian: Baby, I literally told you I’d be out for two hours.
Ominis: It’s been one hour and thirty-six minutes.
Sebastian: So??
Ominis: That is too long.
Sebastian knew he was playing with fire, but he made the reckless decision to leave Ominis on read. With a sigh, he set his phone face-down on the table and tried to tune back into his friends’ conversation.
It didn’t last.
Two minutes later, his phone buzzed again.
Ominis: Hello? I ordered attention almost 5 minutes ago. This is terrible customer service. I want to speak to the manager.
Sebastian groaned so loudly he cut Amit off mid-rant about star alignments.
Sebastian: alright fine, you got my attention. Happy now?
Ominis: Not yet. I demand sustained attention.
Sebastian thunked his forehead against the table. “I’m going to kill him.”
Garreth wheezed. “Please don’t, he’s the only entertainment I have left.”
Amit looked slightly worried. ”Are you sure this is a healthy relationship? You seem a little … co-dependent.”
”Oh, he is,” Sebastian said darkly. ”Physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.”
Under the table, he typed furiously:
Sebastian: You don’t need to Venmo me for that.
Ominis: Clearly I do.
Sebastian: Did you even want something or did you just want to pester me?
Ominis: I do want something, the pestering is just a bonus.
Sebastian: Well?
Ominis: Can I eat the leftover pizza in the fridge?
Sebastian looked up at the ceiling like it might offer divine guidance, muttered something halfway between a prayer and a curse, and slowly counted to ten before responding.
Sebastian: Baby. You are 22 years old. You have your own fridge. Your own kitchen. A fully developed adult brain. You are allowed to make autonomous pizza-related decisions.
Sebastian: Yes, you can have the leftover pizza.
Ominis: Alright. Just checking. Sometimes you have meals mentally scheduled and forget to inform me.
Ominis: Anyway, can you now send me back my $2?