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Since Taehyung had been gifted a small telescope on his fifth birthday, he’s always been drawn to the ever-rolling stars far away in the universe. As a jubilant teenager, Taehyung had been eager to know about something more than life on Earth and it was through an astronomy play group, that he had met Jimin.
Though Jimin wasn’t particularly interested in the elegance of the universe, he was however, enthralled by a certain Jung Hoseok who so happened to be on good terms with Namjoon.
(He and Taehyung would sit down on stressful Friday nights, the time most crucial for studying for finals, and nurse a glass of wine, as Namjoon insisted a little sip of the gods’ nectar wouldn’t hurt anyone, and talk on and on about existence and the illusion of it all.
It was enough to make a simple high schooler’s head hurt, but Taehyung hung on hungrily to the older man’s word reverently and Jimin would stop from his lip-locking session with Hoseok every now and then to scoff and lazily insert Tae, you’re drooling!
Taehyung would deny anything of the sort, of course, but wouldn’t miss the fond smile Namjoon wore on his face as he hid it behind his wine glass.)
It wasn’t until bunny-toothed, painfully shy Jeongguk came along that Taehyung thought he had found something more precious than a couple of huge masses of gas in a far away place.
Because Jeongguk was real, painfully so, and right there with Taehyung, flashing a bright smile when Taehyung stole a few kisses, beautifully shaped eyes opening under the sunlight of lazy mornings, and feet moving with the grace of a swan under their high school’s worn dance floors.
“Jeongguk,” he says one day. Said boy is trying to focus on devouring a textbook in one night, Taehyung puffing on his saxophone without much effort, but trying to inhale the smell of his boyfriend’s sheets before they part for finals week.
Jeongguk says nothing of course, making no inclination he had heard anything. Taehyung tries again.
“Jeongguk.”
He gets a distant hum as a reply and Taehyung grudgingly accepts that this was the best response he was going to get, if he ever got one. Taehyung’s fingers pause on the buttons of the brass instrument, and for a while, all you could hear was the cranking of Jeongguk’s 4-year old fan in the corner of the room and the hurried flipping of shiny, new textbook pages.
“I don’t think I’m going to major in astronomy anymore,” Taehyung says, sighing as he does so. Turns to face Jeongguk. There’s a small pause.
The younger of the two turns to face Taehyung abruptly in his wooden chair, and he carries a bewildered expression so comical Taehyung would have laughed at if it wasn’t his career they were discussing.
“What?” Jeongguk stutters with the grace of a seal, “Wh--Tae, baby, astronomy is everything to you.” He sighs, and Taehyung thinks he looks so much older than he actually is, with the crease between his eyebrows deepened, and the bags under his eyes darker than the color of his own hair. “It’s like...if I were to give up dancing. I’d never give up dancing, Tae, and you would never for astronomy either.”
Taehyung looks up at him with a look Jeongguk could only describe as helpless, and the saxophone is forgotten as the bed dips with the weight of two people on it. Jeongguk fingers upon his waist and his hot breath against Taehyung’s neck is calming, though his heart aches for something he can’t really name.
Taehyung still towers over the other and he easily cradles Jeongguk closer to his body until all of his senses are engulfed by the sweet, sweet smell that can only be Jeongguk’s essence and until all he can think about is Jeongguk, Jeongguk, Jeongguk .
A great, desperate feeling surges over the older and his lips meets Jeongguk’s fiercely, as if Jeongguk’s breath was his oxygen, and without it, he would never live.
“I love you, Gukkie, so I need to protect you somehow and love you in the only way I can,” Taehyung whispers against Jeongguk’s lips. Their breaths mingle and Taehyung swears he sees the brown orbs shimmer with something akin to tears.
“You’re already doing enough, Tae,” Jeongguk whispers back though his voice sounds broken. “I don’t need you to give everything up for me.”
That’s ridiculous , Taehyung thinks. He can definitely feel the wetness of tears through his t-shirt and for an eternity a moment can offer, he forgets that he and Jeongguk are barely legal, still seniors, still haven’t gotten the first real taste of the cruel world they’ve learned about through textbook upon textbook, that he still hasn’t proposed yet (Christ , where did that thought come from? ) but only remembers that his life hasn’t been the same with this beautiful boy in his life and only remembers that that’s the only thing that matters.
“That’s ridiculous because,” Taehyung says into the sticky summer air and into Jeongguk’s soul, “you are my everything. I’m not losing anything and I’m definitely not losing you.” Jeongguk positively sobs into his neck and a mantra of tearful i love you’s spew from his swollen lips.
Taehyung muses on these small memories now, rocking baby girl Taemin in the dead of night, many years later. He’s a lawyer now, Jeongguk a prestigious doctor, and he’s never been happier.
So many nameless faces ask him isn’t it hard to raise a child? What about the discrimination you receive being a gay couple? Do you fear for your children’s futures?
They receive the same answer every time.
‘ We’re all happy, and that’s all that matters, don’t you think?’