Work Text:
“Argh! Why isn’t it coming off?!” The butterfly wearing Goff’s skin grit out in frustration.
“Probably because your blades are dull as fuck, man! Maintain your torture shit,” came Adrian’s tortured voice as he withstood the sharp, continuous pain.
“Fine. I admit I have been slacking on sharpening these weapons,” a cruel smile curved slowly across his bloodstained face. “But I have someone here who doesn’t need a blade to cut off parts of you.”
“Dude, what the fuck are you talking about?” Asked Chris, face creasing in confusion.
“Did you really think I’d only have two bodyguards? I am not that foolish.” Goff scoffed to himself, then gestured down one of the hallways in the basement. As if on cue, several low, rumbling canine growls echoed down into the room.
“Oh my god, no, he’s a backyard breeder,” Adrian blurted out and managed a little grin when Peacemaker chimed in after him:
“Come on, adopt, don't shop, man.”
“Shut up!” Goff snarled, and snapped his fingers in a clearly practiced movement. It was pretty dramatic, and Adrian found himself wanting to roll his eyes.
The growls amped up in volume until it reached its apex as three doberman pinchers prowled into the room. They were off leash, yet clearly following the lead of the slim built person stalking in behind them.
The person was wearing an all-black kevlar bodysuit, which was tucked into fitted cargo pants with dark purple accents around the hips and knees. The mask covering their face was reminiscent of a ski helmet, with an opaque blocky visor covering most identifying features of the person’s face. While their eyes were completely covered, Adrian could still see the grim look on their lower face as they came into the light.
While they weren’t quite as built as Adrian or Chris are, they had a very clear athletic build even while they remained on the slim side. And they somehow managed to remain pretty intimidating even with a brown and black fluffy tail wagging slowly behind them as they approached.
Adrian was horrified to realize that he recognized this person as Watchdog: another hero who roams the streets of Evergreen. In fact, they had even collaborated often to kill criminals.
He would describe them as one of his only other hero friends, besides Chris himself of course.
The fact that he knew them didn’t scare him, it was the fact that he knew them and he didn’t have his mask on. He immediately began alternating between various facial expressions again, trying to throw them off the scent of his true identity.
It clearly didn’t work as they stopped in their tracks, tilting their head like the dog they were named after, and asking, “Vigilante? What are you doing here?”
Adrian was too busy making his genius facial expressions again, so Chris answered for him (such a good friend).
“Hold on, you know Vigilante?” Chris almost sounded shocked that anyone would know Adrian’s nighttime persona, almost like he didn’t know how social and outgoing the mask made him.
“Yeah, we go pedophile hunting all the time,” then turning to Goff,”Sir, why are Vigilante and Peacemaker in your basement?”
“They’re the ones who killed my loving family, Watchdog,” stated the butterfly. “While you were feeding Past, Present, and Future.”
“The dogs’ names are Past, Present, and Future?” Peacemaker questioned in a judging tone, turning his head to face Watchdog.
“Hey, man, I didn’t name ‘em.” Replied the shadowed figure, raising their hands up in surrender. The dogs, reacting to Watchdog’s lack of aggression, ceased their growling and instead started snuffling around Goff’s feet.
“Enough chit-chat. Watchdog,” Goff ordered, gesturing towards Adrian’s sad mangled pinky toe. “Put your 200 PSI bite force to good use, and finish what I could not.”
“You want me to… bite his toe off?” Watchdog repeated, and though Adrian couldn’t see their eyebrows, they tilted their head to the other side of their body, conveying a deep bewilderment.
“Yes!” Exclaimed Goff.
“It’s because his torture blades are weak!” Adrian decided the gig was already up, and gave up on his facial changes. “Puppy, he can’t even cut through bone!”
Chris’s head bucked back in shock as he said to himself, “Puppy?”
Adrian noticed with glee that Watchdog’s tail started wagging like it always did when he called them that, even if they would never admit they liked the nickname (pet name?).
Seeing the general shenanigans that was happening, Goff ran out of patience. With steady hands no politician should have, he raised the shotgun to point directly in the face of the canine hero.
“I’m starting to doubt your loyalties, Watchdog.”
“Yeah,” Watchdog replied. “Same here.”
Then the room erupted into motion as Past, Present, and Future attacked Goff’s legs on cue with a simple clicking sound from Watchdog’s mouth. At the same time, Peacemaker’s efforts untying his binds came to fruition, and he leapt into action with a sturdy haymaker to Goff’s face.
As Goff fell down on his ass, Adrian sturdied his stance while Watchdog withdrew a knife from some hidden sheath and cut through the rope wrapped around his arms and legs.
“I got you. As soon as I saw you down here I was like, ‘What the fuck? Vig only kills criminals. What’s he doing in the basement of this guy paying me a dollar higher than minimum wage?’’ So I knew Goff had to be up to no good.”
“He’s a politician, what did you expect?” Adrian said, “Also dude, only a dollar more than minimum wage? Value yourself more.”
And then leaving Watchdog to nod sagely to his words, he leapt up to help Peacemaker knock Goff’s block off.
Except, he was having a hard time finding his balance with his fucked up toe, and as much as the dobermans were helpful in the beginning, they only ended up getting in the way once the humans got involved.
“Fuck, dude!” He totally didn’t whine as he landed hard on the injured foot. Goff was surprisingly holding his own against two combatants, and a sharp whistle pierced through the sound of battle as the dogs ran back to their trainer.
This sound distracted Adrian for one tiny fucking milisecond, which allowed Goff to land a good punch directly across Vigilante’s face. He swore he saw stars for a moment and everything. He fell down, immediately proving that he was right about not being able to walk without a pinky toe, and Goff towered above him.
Right as Goff was about to reign some serious terror onto him, his head exploded from behind from a shotgun shell. Yay!! Chris saved the day!
“Peace out, motherfucker,” Chris said, but before Adrian had time to fawn over how cool his bestie was, he was distracted by a softer voice next to him.
“You okay, Vig?” Watchdog kneeled beside him, offering a hand up. Adrian sighed, but took it. Their hand was warm and steady even through the thick gloves covering his fingers. Of all the other heroes running around Evergreen, he found himself glad it was two of the ones he could call his friends who saw his true face.
“Yeah, I’m okay. What are you even doing here? You hate people in power.”
Watchdog looked at him like he was dumb, “Do you see how fuckin’ cute these dogs are? Come on, you know I couldn’t resist.”
“Wait, seriously? You were gonna steal them?” Adrian watched as Watchdog’s exposed mouth slipped into a smug smile and they nodded. “These are like the 10th dogs I’ve seen you steal, where do you put them all?”
“I’m not in Evergreen cause of the gas prices, I’ll tell you that much. I bought myself a couple acres, the dogs run around there. It’s a better home than with any of the pedophiles I kill. Or any of the dickhead politicians."
Adrian shook his head and found himself fighting a fond smile. Of fucking course the puppy was keeping the dogs for themself. How in character.
“Hey, wait, aren’t you Gut Chase’s younger brother? The one who plays DND all the time? Adrian?” Chris piped up, and Vigilante grimaced since he said that in plain earshot of Watchdog. Except Watchdog perked up, and their head whipped towards him.
“Dude, you play DND?”
“Yeah! No way, you do too?” Adrian’s voice was colored with enthusiasm to match Watchdogs’. “Well, actually I haven’t played in a while since my last campaign had a bad DM, so I’ve kinda just been fantasizing about future PCs and wishing I was playing, but you play as well?!”
“Hell yeah, man. You’re looking at a cleric main,” Watchdog replied with a big grin and gestured to themselves. Before Adrian could respond, they both turned as they heard Chris utter a confused swear, and they all watched a butterfly clamber out of Goff’s concave skull.
—-
The victorious energy in the van was somewhat eclipsed by Murn’s anger at an unknown surprising them during the mission, even if said unknown ended up being on their side at the end of it all.
“So tell me again how you know Vigilante?” Murn asked, long-suffering as usual.
“Oh, Watchdog’s my buddy–” Adrian slung an arm around Watchdog’s shoulder (just to see that tail wag again), and began expositing how they first met before being interrupted by Murn snarling.
“I asked Watchdog, not you, Vigilante.” Then, gesturing to the now contrite dog-themed hero, said “Go ahead, Watchdog.”
“You want the story of how we first met or just the general gist of how we know each other?” Watchdog asked for clarification.
“The general gist,” Murn said, sighing. He sounded over it already which Adrian didn’t understand because he thought Watchdog had asked a totally fine clarifying question? (He was confused about what Murn was specifically asking too.)
“I target pedophiles, and Vig only kills criminals. As it turns out, all pedophiles are criminals! So there's a lot of overlap there, and that’s when we do our best work together.” Then looking up at Adrian from under the arm he had over their shoulders, “You remember the Red Room of ‘18?”
“Dude, that was sooo nasty,” Adrian recalled through snickers, remembering the way they had butchered that whole basement of predators.
“You guys are crazy,” Leota said with a smile.
Watchdog held up a reproaching finger, “Nuh-uh, I’ve never been diagnosed.”
At the same time, Adrian burst out with, “So everyone here just thinks they’re a psychiatrist, huh?!”
“OH MY GOD!” Exclaimed Chris, sounding like he’d rather be anywhere else but here. In response to the sudden outburst in noise, Economos piped up from the front seat too.
“Guys, can you keep it down, I’m trying to drive here?” He yelled, ironically adding even more noise to the car.
“John, you yelling is just making it worse, the fuck is wrong with you?” Harcourt snapped, rolling her eyes.
Murn started massaging the growing vein on his temple and muttering angrily but Adrian barely noticed with the way Watchdog was still looking up at him from under his arm, trying not to smile.
The quiet thump-thump of their tail hitting the walls of the van gave away their happiness like it always did, and Adrian smiled down at them. (And ignored Chris’s eyes burning holes in the back of his skull.)