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Shoto knew his dad wasn't a good guy. He intentionally neglected his older siblings, abused him, and broke his mom. His dad says that he wasn't trying to hurt everyone so deeply. But what was he trying to do then? No, he boosted his own ego to the misfortune of everyone around him. Shoto wasn't the perfect obedient little boy his dad thought he was, scheming in secret to escape, get away from the pain.
Enji Todorki was stuck in anger and regret like how some get stuck in quicksand. But Shoto knew that would only end one way. In pain beyond words for those who live with him, locked like a bird in a cage too small, and the key was forged of fire and embers that couldn't be held without burning off your hands. Shoto has his siblings, but they're neglected and ignored. They are family and blood, yet he is still singled out because he is what his dad wanted. The reason his dad abused his mom and forgot his siblings. It is all him, and it often feels like the weight of the world is not just on his shoulders, but his head and chest, until it crushes in his head and constricts his lungs and the world starts to spin and air just doesn't quite work. Shoto will not let this destroy him. He will break this... this cycle of pain and regret that seems to haunt the Todorokis like a ghost of hell itself. He's choosing to grow away from this. And he's gonna grow healthier. But with his dad as man of the house, how the heck can he get away?
He's starting high school now. His day of leaving home is getting closer, and he's finally gaining some more independence away from that man forged of hate and laments. No, he wasn't made to combat that kind of intense whirlwind of sin. As his dad glares at him when he doesn't do something just perfect, he explodes like a volcano.
"JUST STOP! I'm trying, okay? I'm so sick and tired of you acting like I've already failed you. I do my best and learn and improve. Besides, it's my life, not yours! Why do I have to spend all my free time doing what you couldn't?"
His old man gives him a lecture on "respecting your elders" and "work ethic" to justify the unacceptable and unneeded hell he has put the Todorokis through in response to Shoto expressing emotions. No, Shoto will certainly not be anything like his dad, he assures himself. He'll burn even hotter, so hot his dad gets burned. And he'll use that fire to protect and defend what matters, not char it to a crisp.
But he wasn't taught to talk to his dad in a way that showed his emotions and didn't get him in trouble, wasn't taught to put out the fire. He just knows how to play along and do what he wants to avoid the pain and arguments that fan the blaze. But that's not gonna accomplish anything. If he wants to do something, it has to be done now and done right in a way his father can't deny. He's making his choice.
"Hey, Dad, I have to talk to you." He starts.
"I'm busy." His dead snaps back, reading some kinda report. "Just write it in a letter."
"No, I need to talk to you." Shoto insists.
"Yes, Shoto?" His dad puts down the papers.
"You've hurt me. You just use me to fufill your dreams and bridge this gap you could never get across. But I don't wanna be your bridge or tool. I wanna be something you care for. And it's not just me. Natsuo and Fuyumi, they've been neglected. Mom can't even tell the difference between you and her children, she's so traumatized. And Touya was just a pawn you cast aside, but you couldn't even do that right and now he's gone. You need to change." Shoto explains, calmly as he can, though tears still spring in his eyes.
"Change how, Shoto?" The fire his dad wears like some women wear jewelry flares into a inferno, making him look like a burning phoenix.
When Shoto can't talk around the lump in his throat, his dad starts yelling. "I'M MAKING YOU BETTER! WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT? I'M NOT A FAILURE." He lowers to a whisper. "Shoto, I'm just making you like me. I'm making you strong. I'm giving you a sense of justice. Please, Shoto."
Shoto just leaves, knowing he's gonna have to be like his dad to get through life because he's been too damaged for any other choice.
His dad is in control, and it's what his dad wants. He must supply the demands, because his dad just wants him to succeed and goes about it bad, right?
~~~Years later~~~
So Shoto had become his dad's hate and fury, bought into the weak justifications of abuse and his twisted justice. He has his dad's determination to make a change, but also how he forgets everyone for what he tries to achieve. But that's not bad. He's just focused. Now that his dad is retired, anyone who insults him is told to fight Shoto. He has become what Endeavor was, but also what he could never be. He still meets with his mom, and he still hangs out with his siblings. He still loves them, he just... gets busy sometimes. Sometimes he thinks he's the reason Fuyumi can be heard sobbing across the hall until she falls asleep, but he dismisses this because he's nice, and he would never do what his dad did to his siblings, right? Then he can sleep again, knowing he is all of his dad's good and none of his bad. He is what his Dad could not be. He is caring. He stopped trying to fight for control and now the fights are gone, scrapes scabbing over, and he's resigned to his dad getting the better of him. Now Natsuo has moved out with a girlfriend, and he is free It is better this way, Shoto thinks. He keeps his mouth shut and doesn't make fights, because that's just causing problems. No, he is so much like his father. It's pointless acting like he's not, denying the blood in his veins. He is his dad, but improved.
~~~Later, after much therapy~~~
Shoto and his friend, Izuku, are swinging on an old playground, the swing creaking. "Did you ever get mad your dad was in charge of you and the house, Shoto?" Izuku pipes up. Shoto thinks on it.
"I did. On one hand, it was like 'he's abused me and neglected my siblings, I wanna be nothing like him' but on the other it was 'he wants me to be like him and I have to listen' over and over. When I moved out and gained free will, it was the best day of my life."
"Are you afraid to be a parent?" Izuku asks,"Because you never had a good example?"
"I actually had a great example of what not to do. Just don't do whatever he did, and I'm good." Shoto explains.
~~~Later~~~
As anger builds in a fight like a volcano, Shoto strikes the kid that is his. Shoto didn't want to lash out. He's not bad. Well what did he want? No, he wasn't like that, wasn't his dad-
And the nightmare's over. Right, he's still in middle school. Well, he'll take the warning of "Don't try to be like your dad". So he does the opposite and denies him any way he can. Then he meets a certain green-haired boy at a sports festival.