Archive of Our Own

~*~

Tell me it's all in my head, tell me it's all a bad dream
That I'm just gonna wake up, and you'll still be next to me
A permanent weight on my chest where I should be holding you close
Don't let me live in a world where I have to let you go

~*~

- Washington, D.C., 2012 - 

Pulling into the driveway finding it empty and every light inside the house off, it was a scene Aaron had never wanted to return to. He sat in his car, staring at the front door, knowing it wouldn’t open for him, Jack and Adrian both being with Jessica and Cynthia. The silence inside the car was deafening, but he had not brought it over himself to turn the radio on, not wanting to hear any news. Without the car’s heating the air grew cold within minutes, yet he still felt the phantom heat of the flames on his skin, tasted the smoke and ash on his tongue, even as he left the car and stepped into the fresh winter air. 

The new year was still young, a thin blanket of snow covering the ground. In their front yard stood a snowman Jack and Adrian had built this morning, one stick arm about to fall off any minute. He didn’t even want to be here, but he was tired, body and mind, dust still clinging to his clothes and skin. Making his way to the front door, the way seemed longer than usual. Inside everything looked like the house was awaiting its inhabitants' return. The boy’s backpack on the floor, Eric’s worn out leather jacket on the hook by the door, their coffee cups in the sink. Everything looked like it had when they had left home this morning. His feet carried him through the house to their bedroom, the bed still unmade. If he had known how the day would progress, he would’ve begged Eric to stay home, to stay safe. Taking Eric’s shirt from the bed – one that had once belonged to him, but had been stolen when he still only had one drawer in the bedroom – he headed into the bathroom, taking a shower in the hopes to finally wash away the scent of fire and ash. The warm water soothed his aching body, washing off the dirt of the day. What usually helped him relax, did nothing to calm his nerves this time. Usually he’d hear the sounds of their family, Eric in the bedroom, the radio or TV from the living room, Adrian and Jack chatting. Now there was nothing, no sound besides the water running. Exiting the shower Aaron took a look at himself, dark circles under his eyes from days of short and restless sleep, bruises forming on his jaw and torso from the Unsub’s punches. He looked older and more worn out than he was. He dressed in sweatpants and Eric’s shirt, lying down on their bed, burying his face in the pillow. 

Every time he closed his eyes the pictures came back to him, moments of the last few days, from the time they got the call, to the last crime scene and the Unsub’s arrest. 

A series of arson cases had kept the whole city in suspense for two weeks, the sounds of fire trucks speeding down the streets turning into the new normal. He could still clearly hear the ringing of Eric’s phone one morning, the seriousness on his face and in his voice, how their eyes had found each other and Aaron had known immediately what would come next. An “all hands on deck situation” Eric had called it after Captain Dowry had called him, asking him to help out. There was no discussion about it, Aaron had known Eric would not decline. The city he loved, the people he had sworn to protect were in danger, and he did not think twice before jumping into action to do whatever he could against it. He was a firefighter and first responder at heart, an integral part of his life, just as much as being an FBI-Agent and profiler was part of Aaron’s. Even after leaving the job behind, he had still found a way to work with his old Department and team, always volunteering to add to their numbers should they need assistance. 

From that moment on they had left home together each morning, Aaron heading to the Police Station to meet with the team, Eric to the Fire Department, waiting for the wailing of the sirens again. They’d find each other at every new fire, BAU and Fire Department falling into some kind of rhythm, the good relationship Aaron had built with Eric’s former unit surely helping to avoid the usual quarrel they’d find themselves in. There had been something about working side by side, the reassuring touch of a hand on his shoulder, a shared glance giving him some peace of mind in the chaos around them. 

Then came the call, the last fire. They had found the Unsub’s identity, a man who had started with small fires in uninhabited places, but escalated with each one, becoming more aggressive and reckless, not caring about any casualties. It was all about destruction and power, the imaginative control over the fire. Six people had died so far in the flames, arriving at the last scene, the flames devouring an apartment complex, Aaron feared the number rising. They had been sure the Unsub would be there, watching his masterpiece, and they had been right. They had chased him down the streets, Aaron taking some hits as the man tried to get away, but in the end he was overpowered. 

When Aaron had returned to the scene the fire had been put out almost completely. He looked for Eric in the crowd, finding him and some of his comrades missing, his mind needing a moment to put the pieces together. He was inside this building, looking for any survivors of the fire. From then on his memories were a mess. He vaguely remembered Captain Dowry calling his people out, worried about the building’s structure, the fire having eaten away a lot of its substance, and then the sudden collapse on the inside, Dowry calling out for his people over the radio, only four of seven responding. Eric not one of them. 

The search for them had been long and slow, the building’s static another worry for Dowry. Aaron had stayed and watched, unable to do anything but waiting and hoping. Captain Dowry had stayed close to him, giving him the opportunity to listen in on the radio calls, receiving updates on their status. 

Two times they had to stop the search for their missing team members, reevaluating the situation, weighing the success against the risk of endangering more people. He had understood the thought behind it, the need for it. If his own team would have found themselves in a situation like this, it would’ve been on him to decide whether endangering more people was worth another life. Right then, he had been glad it hadn’t been him calling the shots. 

Only after the third time a search party had gone back into the building had they found the missing firefighters. Eric had been trapped underneath a pile of rubble, barely conscious. One of his team members, Tyrone Keaton, had stayed by his side, unwilling to leave him behind to save himself. Dowry had called him stupid, but not without pride in his voice. Getting Eric and his comrades to safety took another hour, Eric losing consciousness completely during this time. Seeing the other men carrying his limp body outside, Aaron had felt as if his heart might just stop while simultaneously hammering against his ribs. Everything in him had screamed to run to him, to be by his side, but he knew he needed to stay at the side, let the paramedics do their job. 

He had called Jessica on the way to the hospital, made sure the kids could stay with her and Cynthia a while longer. Then he had waited, he didn’t know for how long, David joining him to keep him company for a while before Aaron had sent him back home. Some time after David had left, Captain Dowry had joined him, both men sitting in silence waiting for any news. News had come a little later, in the form of a doctor, a man Dowry seemed to know better on a professional level than either of them liked. Eric’s condition had not been critical, though he had sustained some serious injuries, he would surely recover from them within a few months time. Aaron had been able to spend a few more minutes with Eric, who after surgery had still been asleep, before Dowry had sent him home, to get rest, and as much as Aaron had wanted to, there was no arguing with Captain Arthur Dowry, especially when he knew the older man was right. 

Now, back at home, he was tossing and turning, not able to find real rest, sleep not even a thing to think of. Only long past midnight the exhaustion took over his body, finally allowing him to fall asleep, yet waking up with the morning sun only a few hours later. Seeing no use in trying to fall asleep again, Aaron got up, checking his phone for any news he might have received while asleep. His team had asked about Eric, Cynthia and Jessica had checked in to hear how he was doing himself, and Arthur had given him a status report from the hospital, making Aaron wonder if the Captain had stayed there the whole night. Knowing what he did about him, he probably had.

Only a few hours later, he was driving to Jessica’s place to pick up the kids. Her and Cynthia looked tired as they opened the door for him, both greeting him with a tight hug. 

“How is he doing?” Cynthia asked, leading him inside.

“He’s going to be fine, that’s all I know.” The kids ran towards him the moment they heard him, Adrian halfway hiding behind Jack. He looked up at Aaron, fear and uncertainty in his eyes. Jack held his hand tight, giving him a reassuring smile. 

“Where is my dad?” Adrian asked, a quiver in his voice.

“He’s still at the hospital,” Aaron answered, picking the boy up, who immediately wrapt his arms and legs around him. “But he’s going to be alright and back home with us again soon.” 

Taking one look at him, Jessica poured him a cup of coffee he thankfully took. Over the last few months the two aunts had become best friends and a well-rehearsed team, always ready to pitch in whenever they were needed. He really didn’t know what they’d do without them. 

“I’m sure we can visit him later,” Jack said, trying to cheer his friend up. Unlike Adrian, he sadly enough was used to his father being in danger, and had learned how to handle situations like this, as much as Aaron hated it at times. There had been a time Jack had been afraid when he so much as caught a cold, especially after Haley’s death, but time and therapy had helped to overcome those fears. Adrian only nodded, hiding his face against Aaron’s shoulder. He pressed the child against him, gently stroking his hair. 

“Your dad was very brave,” he said then, “he got injured saving a lot of people.” Now Adrian looked up at him, something like curiosity in his eyes. 

“Really?” 

“Yes. There was a big fire in a house and your dad and his colleagues went in and saved the people living there.” Adrian nodded in understanding, then leaned back against him. 

They sat like that for a while, silently comforting the kids before the two returned to the guest room, Jack having the idea to draw a get-well-soon-card for Eric, Adrian letting himself get dragged along. Cynthia slumped back in her chair as she watched them leave, lips quivering, pressing her hands into her eye sockets to keep herself from crying. 

“I was so glad when he gave up that job to do something less dangerous,” she said, voice shaking, “we had just lost Nora, and every time he was on duty and I heard the sirens, I imagined the worst. But after he quit, damn, I knew he never was fully happy with it.” She let out a deep sigh. “Of course he had to jump back into action, and I just know he’ll do it again and again. What if something happens to him again? How do I explain that to Adrian?” Jessica took her hand, giving it a soft squeeze. 

“Don’t imagine the worst, Tia,” Jessica gave her a smile. It was probably the one thing she told herself every time Aaron left for another case. Cynthia let out another deep sigh, then straightened her back. 

“I knew he wouldn’t stay out of it forever, I just hoped he’d wait until Adrian was a bit older.” 

“This doesn’t mean he’ll go back,” Aaron reminded her, “this was an emergency.” Cynthia smiled at him, softly shaking her head. 

“You know him well, Aaron,” she then said, “maybe better than almost anyone else in his life, but not as good as I do. Situations like these are when he feels most alive, he joined the Fire Department right out of High School, he never wanted to do anything else. It’s just who he is, and after this, getting a taste of how it used to be, I would take any bet, he at least is going to play with the thought.” Jessica squeezed her hand again, sliding a cup of tea over to her. Aaron couldn’t help but smile despite the situation, Jessica was a pillar, always had been. Steadfast and steady, she was the calm in every chaos. 

They drove to the hospital separately, Jessica and Cynthia taking the boys, while Aaron drove on his own. This time the radio was on, though with the volume turned low. The news still covered the fire spree of the last weeks, its victims, the arrest of the cultrip and the injured firefighters in the aftermath. He turned the radio off. 

Pulling into the hospital’s parking lot, the others were already waiting for him. Cynthia looked a little anxious, but hid it behind a soft smile, holding Adrian’s hand as they followed Aaron inside, Jessica and Jack trailing after him. 

He found the way to Eric’s room with ease, Captain Dowry coming their way from there. He looked tired, as if he hadn’t gotten much sleep at night, but his lips widened into a smile as he saw them. He opened his arms, Adrian letting go of Cynthia and running towards him, flinging himself into the other man’s arms. 

“Have you stayed here the whole time, Captain?” Aaron asked, not able to quite hide his own surprise. 

“Yes,” he answered, stretching a little, “would not recommend those chairs here.” Aaron couldn’t help but chuckle upon the older man’s good nature. It was something he had liked about him from the start. He let go of Adrian, then pulled Cynthia into a hug before introducing himself to Jessica and Jack. 

“How is Eric?” Cynthia asked, taking Adrian’s hand again .

“He’s doing fine, woke up in the middle of the night, went right back to sleep,” Arthur recounted the events of the night, “he’s waiting for you now. I’ll head home, sleep in a real bed for a few hours.” He placed a hand on Aaron’s shoulder, giving him a reassuring squeeze. 

“First thing when he woke up was asking about the kids and you,” he said, his voice so low only Aaron could hear him, though he didn’t quite know what to make of the statement for now. 

They entered Eric’s room together, his man sitting propped up against a pillow on his bed with a small smile on his face. There were stitches on his forehead, bandages showing on his torso underneath his hospital gown, and one of his legs was in a cast. Aaron knew the list of his injuries, a laceration, a concussion, two broken ribs and a fractured right leg, which had required surgery. Adrian let go of his aunt’s hand, running towards his father and climbing onto the bed, Eric pulling his son close, pressing a kiss onto his head. The moment Eric looked up their eyes met and Aaron couldn’t help to smile with relief. As Jack joined Adrian on the bed, the adults pulled chairs closer to sit around it. Cynthia went straight to scolding him for his recklessness, but without any real edge to it. It was her fear and care showing, nothing more, nothing less. Eric took it with good humor, giving his sister-in-law a soft and apologetic smile. Jessica held back with her own comments, just making sure the kids didn’t accidentally hurt Eric, who would never even allow himself to wince and scare them. 

“You got us pretty scared,” Aaron said, once Cynthia and Jessica had taken the boys out of the room to see what the hospital’s cafeteria had to offer, giving them a few moments just for themselves. He had mouthed a thank you to them, before they had taken their leave. 

“I’m sorry.” Eric reached out for his hand, Aaron taking it into his own. “Wasn’t my intention.” 

“I know…” He led Eric’s hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss on his knuckles. “And I have never been prouder to be by your side.” Yet, he also had only been more afraid in his life one time before. Eric smiled at him, a little less bright than usually, still exhausted, still in pain. 

“Did you get him?” Was the next thing he asked. 

“Yes. We did. He won’t hurt anyone anymore.” A relieved sigh left his lips, as he slumped back in his bed a little. 

“You’ve been so silent the whole time,” Eric said then, gently squeezing his hand, “are you angry at me?”

“Angry? No, I could never… Cynthia just didn’t leave anyone time to talk.” It was a weak excuse. He didn’t have a real answer, his inner turmoil rendering him unable to form a single word, each one dying on his lips. 

“She really is something, right? She always worried the most… Nora, she understood, but Cynthia, she always wants to keep the people she loves safe. I can’t blame her.” 

“Me neither, but I don’t get to scold you like she did.” He may not be one to run into burning buildings, but hunting down criminals everywhere in the states was in no way less dangerous. 

“Would you, though, if I wanted to go back?” For a heart beat he didn’t know what to say, Cynthia’s previous words echoing in his head. She had been right, after all she did know Eric best. He hadn’t quite believed her then, but he should’ve known better. 

“No, but I would ask you to think about it carefully,” he answered after some consideration, “after Haley’s death I was offered early retirement and I declined. I often wonder what would’ve happened if I had taken the offer.” 

“You’d probably hate it,” Eric said. 

“Do you hate it?” 

“No, not really… but I always thought I’d go back to being a firefighter once Adrian’s old enough. I miss being part of this team, I miss being out there… All of this should probably have a different effect, but these past two weeks, I finally felt like doing what I am supposed to do. Like I was born exactly for that.” 

“Just do me a favor and get back on your feet before you make any decisions, and then, whatever you do, I’m on your side.” He leaned over to kiss him, the first real kiss they shared since they had left home more than 24 hours before. “I am sure Captain Dowry would be more than happy to have you back. He stayed here the whole time.” 

“I remember him sleeping in that chair, when I woke up the first time,” Eric said, a soft smile on his lips. “Arthur’s a good man, he’s done a lot for me over the years.” 

“Is it normal for him to stay with his men like this?” A slight blush colored Eric’s cheeks as he mulled over his answer. 

“No, I have to admit it’s not… I mean, we all care for each other, we’re a family, but…,” another deep sigh, “Guess he knew nobody else would show up for me after he sent you home. When I joined the Department after leaving Boston, he took me under his wing.” Eric scarcely talked about his childhood and youth in Boston, and Aaron didn’t pry, keeping the dark sides of his own upbringing under lock and key himself. All he knew was that there’d been a falling out with his parents, which had led Eric to leave his hometown behind and built a new life in D.C., where he had later met Nora. 

“I guess Arthur saw a kid without a dad back then and stepped up, the Fire Department is all the family he’s got.” And even though Eric had a family of his own, that same department was his too, their connection even stronger than the BAU’s, and Aaron couldn’t imagine leaving that team behind. How must Eric have felt over the last few years, every time he heard the sirens, knowing his people were putting themselves in danger while he was safe and sound. Thinking like that, it really had only been a matter of time until he wanted to get back. 

A soft knock on the doorframe attracted their attention. Even though Aaron had only seen him a few times before during visits to the fire house with the boys, he easily recognised Tyrone Keaton smiling at them. From first glance alone, Tyrone was an imposing figure, a whole head taller than Aaron himself and broad shouldered, the black edges of a tattoo showing underneath the collar of his shirt. His left arm was in a sling to keep him from moving, probably the result of an injury caused by the collapse. He waved in greeting, waiting for his cue to be invited into the room. 

“Good seeing you up again,” he said, still leaning in the doorframe, “how are you feeling?” He stepped into the room at Eric’s invite, taking a seat next to Aaron, giving him a friendly smile. 

“I’m okay, think pain meds make everything a bit more bearable… How are you?” 

“I’m good, nothing I haven’t already been through.” His smile widened into a grin. “I’m just glad you’re okay and it looked much worse than it actually was.” Eric let go of Aaron’s hand, taking Tyrone’s instead, giving it a firm squeeze. 

“Thank you for staying with me, you put yourself in danger with that.” 

“You would’ve done the same.” Eric gave him a soft smile, one that told them Tyrone was right. “Though I do remember telling me to leave you behind, you idiot.”

“Not that you’d ever listen to me.” Tyrone shrugged with his good arm. 

“No one gets left behind or forgotten.” Eric chuckled, followed by a small wince, his ribs and bruises pretty much disliking the movement. 

“Wise words.” 

“Lilo and Stitch, 2004,” Tyrone said, for a moment reminding Aaron of the exchange between Jason and Derek all those years ago, when his co-worker had quoted Master Yoda to counter Samuel Beckett. Even though he had not been present for the exchange at this time, he had been able to vividly imagine it. Tyrone let go of Eric’s hand, his partner reaching out for Aaron the moment it was free again. Only moments later their small family returned to the room, Adrian squealing with excitement upon seeing Tyrone, climbing onto his lap, asking him about his injury before introducing Jessica to him. 

One after one Eric’s comrades dropped by, checking on the injured men, most of them only staying for a few minutes, others up to half an hour. It was the longest time Aaron had ever spent with these people, getting to know all of them, listening as they exchanged stories of their days together until visitation hours were over and they all had to go home. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll be back with you in no time,” Eric told the boys, placing kisses on their heads. Aaron leaned down to kiss him, pressing their lips together. 

“Listen to your doctors,” he told him, knowing the only patients almost as bad as medical professionals themselves were those in law enforcement and firefighters. 

“Yes, Sir,” Eric responded, stealing another kiss. “I love you.” 

“I love you too. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

~*~

For the next few days, Aaron had spent most of his time with Eric, joining Cynthia, Jessica and the kids right after work. Now, with Eric finally home, a sense of peace had settled over the house again. Sitting together in the living room, their boys tucked in and fast asleep in their room, Aaron gently put his arm around his partner, letting him use his shoulder as a headrest. Without him the house had felt only half alive, even with two young boys running around. He was used to being away from them for a while, to not always have Eric by his side, but this had been different than when he was away on a case. Even though the physical distance between them had not been as much, he had felt miles away. With Eric back home, everything felt right again. 

“Do you remember what we talked about when you first came to visit me?” Eric asked, voice low, almost unsure. 

“How could I forget?” He had come back to their conversation almost every night when he lay in their shared bed, the kids asleep and him finally alone with his thoughts. Back then, he had told him he’d be on his side no matter what he decided on. He had mulled it over again and again, thinking about what it would mean for their little family. What it would mean for the kids if both of them had dangerous jobs with irregular working hours. Eric would have to work in shifts, day, night, weekends and holidays, while Aaron himself never knew when the phone might ring and call him away. 

“I keep thinking about it, the pros and cons.” He started biting his lip, Aaron gently placing his thumb on it to make him stop, softly stroking over it. “I like my job, it’s secure, it’s safe, I’m home at reasonable hours and got time to spend with the kids… but if I’m being honest, there’s not a day I’m not missing being a firefighter. The camaraderie, the adrenaline, being the first at the scene, being there for people in what can easily be the scariest time of their lives. Ever since I said it out loud, all I want to do is call Arthur and ask for my spot back.” Aaron quietly listened to him, drawing small circles on his arm. “Cynthia’s going to kill me for even thinking about it.” 

“She won’t,” Aaron said, “she actually saw it coming. At least you toying with the thought.” Eric couldn’t hide his chuckle, the movement luckily no longer causing too much pain, or at least that was what he kept telling Aaron. He’d been through worse, he had stated, but not further elaborated on that. Aaron leaned down a little, pressing a kiss to Eric’s temple. 

“You never told me why you became a firefighter…. or why you left Boston and came to D.C..” For a split second Eric seemed to tense, before relaxing against him again. 

“I had just turned eighteen, went to the airport and the soonest flight was one to D.C. so I took it… all I wanted was to get out and I didn’t really care where to,” his voice was almost a whisper, his head again resting against Aaron’s shoulder, “I stayed in some run down motel, just a few blocks away from the old firehouse. One day I ran into Arthur and that’s how it started. He first just let me hang around the station, do some odd jobs for them, and seeing how they worked and lived together… I think I realized that was what I wanted in my life.” He gently pulled Eric closer, reading between his lines, wanting to know more but also not wanting to pry any further. 

“When I came here, I’d never thought this town would become my home, I thought it was just a temporary stay, but here I’ve met Nora and Cynthia, Adrian’s been born here… you’re here. All my best memories are in D.C., and doing this job always felt like giving something back.” One hand settled on Aaron's, their fingers intertwining. 

“Is there anything you miss from Boston?”

“No.” The answer was definite, without any hesitation. “You could call my family dysfunctional at best, a father who’s never around and a mother who forgot about my existence half the time. The one good thing was my grandma, but she died when I was five… the last time I talked to my mother was the day before I left Boston.” He pulled him a little closer, afraid to hurt him if he held him too tight. 

“I’m sorry…” He didn’t know what else to say, knew how insufficient those words were. 

“There’s no need to be, it doesn’t matter to me anymore.” There was something in Eric’s voice that made Aaron believe him. When it came to his own past, his own struggles, he could never say that. As much as he wanted to pretend, the experiences of his childhood and youth would always matter, would always in some ways shape his decisions. 

Cupping his face with one hand, thumb softly stroking over his cheek, Eric looked up at him, a soft smile on his lips, and a warmth in his eyes that had captivated him from the first day on. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” he said, pulling him down into a soft kiss, “it’s all in the past and in the end, it’s been worth it all. Every choice, every hardship, everything we’ve been through, it led me right here. This is where I belong, with Adrian, Jack and you.” Aaron couldn’t hide his own smile, as he replied.

“Don’t forget Cynthia and Jessica.” Now Eric laughed, trying to hold his voice as low as possible not to wake the sleeping kids. 

“How could I ever, we wouldn’t manage without them.”

“That we wouldn’t.” 

They let silence settle over them again, just basking in each other’s presence until they grew tired and went to their bedroom. Aaron helped Eric get dressed, his partner still restricted in his movements. The bruises were slowly fading, turning from a deep purple to a greenish yellow, the surgery scars still a slight red against the light skin. 

Their lips found each other in another kiss, as they cuddled together on the bed, Eric using Aaron’s arm as a pillow. 

“Once you’re fully healed,” he whispered into the silence of their bedroom, “you should call Arthur.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“I am,” Aaron answered, “we’ll make it work somehow.” Gently taking Eric’s hand in his, he pressed another kiss on his knuckles. Next to him Eric fell asleep within minutes, still on the path of recovery, spending a whole day with their sons was exhausting for him. In his sleep he cuddled a bit closer, abandoning his own blanket to sneak his way under Aaron’s, conjuring a soft smile onto his face. Watching him like this now, he could almost forget the feeling of loneliness that had plagued him the last few days. Pressing a last kiss to Eric’s head, Aaron closed his eyes, slowly drifting off to sleep to his partner’s gentle breathing. 

~*~

Upon entering the firehouse, the boys immediately ran up the metal staircase leading to the community area, screaming for Eric’s attention. His partner has been back in his old job for almost three months now, their family slowly getting used to their new schedules. Jack and Adrian especially looked forward to every visit to the fire house, the whole station transforming into some kind of extended family for all of them. He followed the kids with a smile, Eric, Arthur and Tyorne appearing in his field of vision, all of them sitting around a table listening to the boys’ excited chatter. 

Even though Eric had first feared Adrian’s reaction to his change of jobs, the boy was more resilient than they had thought, simply accepting that new reality and just asking for his father to try and be safe. And just like that, and a lecture from Cynthia who had of course seen all of this coming later, it had been decided. Seeing him approach, Eric gestured for him to take the free chair next to him, greeting him with a kiss as he sat down. On the other side of the table, Arthur and Tyorne shared a grin as they watched how Aaron put one arm around Eric’s waist, holding him just a little closer. A few minutes later Tyorne brought the cards out, asking the boys about their latest addition to their uno-house-rules. It seemed like they came up with new ones every game, to make it more complicated or more fun, however they saw fit. Tyrone shuffled the cards, handing them out to everyone who wasn’t fast enough to leave the table. Their game started innocent enough, Arthur being caught trying to cheat at least twice, Tyrone showing almost childish excitement whenever someone had to draw more cards than the usual rules allowed and somehow Aaron got the feeling the kids were rather playing together than against each other to see all of them suffer the consequences of supporting their house-rules. Their laughter drew in even more of the team, some of them joining, others just watching for a little while, giving the kids small tips on how to make their opponents’ lives a little harder. 

“So, how have you settled in?” Arthur asked, leaning against the railing, watching as the kids slid down the pole, Eric and Tyrone waiting on the end to catch them. 

“Relatively well,” he answered, “it’s still tough at times, but we knew what we were getting into. At least I hope we did.” Arthur placed a hand on his shoulder, giving him a reassuring smile. 

“You can never know,” the captain replied, “that’s the uncertainty of life in every decision we make.” He knew about the truth in those words; experienced them every day. His eyes traced Eric and the kids, Jack and Adrian exploring the trucks and every corner of the firehouse under his watchful eyes. There was a new light in Eric’s eyes, like he got a part of himself back he had lost some time long ago. That alone made every struggle they might face in the future worth it. 

“You’re a wise man,” he said, turning towards Arthur with a smile. Sometimes the older man reminded him of David, offering the same kind of advice, being a calm and reassuring presence. 

“Not wise,” he replied, “I’ve just been around a while longer.” 

Their conversation was cut short by the siren going off, the whole firehouse buzzing with movement. No matter how often he watched the firefighters jump into action, he always was amazed by their flawlessness as they worked together, like pieces of a puzzle just falling into place. He followed Arthur down, taking Adrian and Jack from Tyorne and Eric, his partner pressing a quick kiss to his lips. 

“Be careful out there,” he said, taking Eric’s hand for a second, squeezing it gently. 

“I will, I promise,” another quick kiss, “I’ll see you tonight.” Two quick hugs for the kids later, Eric jumped into the truck, the three of them watching them drive off, sirens wailing. Adrian tucked on his sleeve, looking up at him with his big eyes. 

“Will he be alright?” There was a hint of fear in the boy’s voice, this was the first time they were present when a call came in and the department sprung into action. Every call before had only been Eric’s stories at the dinner table, nothing too real. Kneeling down, he pulled Adrian in, letting the boy settle down on his leg. 

“Yes, he will,” he answered, trying to sound as reassuring as possible, “you heard him, he promised to come home tonight.” To this Adrian gave a nod, deciding to believe both of them. 

~*~

It was late in the evening, the whole house already asleep, when Eric returned. The soft creak of their bedroom door woke Aaron, the rustle of clothes making him aware of Eric’s presence in the room. He reached out for him the moment the mattress sank underneath him, a low chuckle escaping Eric as he sneaked underneath Aaron’s blanket. 

“Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you,” he whispered, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek, only to be pulled in for a real kiss by Aaron. 

“It’s fine,” he answered, “I’m glad you did.” As he opened his arms, Eric settled down, his head resting on Aaron’s shoulder, one arm over his chest, as their lips found each other in another kiss. For a brief moment, his hands roamed over Eric’s body, checking for any injuries in the dark, earning another low chuckle. 

“I promise, I’m fine,” Eric says, voice still low, as if not to disturb their peace. And as much as Aaron did believe him, there was something inside him that gave him the need to make sure, to check for himself. Probably the same thing that made Eric look a bit closer at him after every case, made him a little bit softer, a bit more alert after every bad night. Pulling him in closer, Eric nuzzled his nose against his neck, letting out a soft sigh, as he slowly drifted off to sleep. 

~*~

You might as well take the breath from my lungs
The stars from the sky
I wouldn't need the sun to rise
If you're not here, what would I be?
Darlin', don't take your love from me
I could live without, oh, just about anythin'
But, if I lose you, darlin', then I lose everything

~*~