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You think the devil has horns? Well, so did I
Dabi remembers when he still thought his father could do no wrong, when he still thought heroes were aptly named.
Remembers being young and staring up at his father in wonder, overjoyed at the thought of one day becoming all he had ever wanted his eldest son to be.
But he remembers the fall just as clearly.
The day he became worthless in Endeavor's eyes.
A son with a strong flame quirk, made to withstand the cold rather than the heat, burning himself alive every time he used his fire. A sardonic smirk on his face as he stares down at his scarred hands, at the skin grafts holding him together.
He still recalls the day he burned, but what rose from the flames was something different. It was the beginning of the end.
Touya didn't die that night, he died in a myriad of moments, had already been half dead when the fire claimed him.
The first death had been Endeavor's ire, the loss of who used to be a father, a protector.
Then his mother's distaste and fear, Shouto's birth.
Being thrown away like he was nothing, replaceable.
The fire only took parts of him, what was left died the day he tried to return only to find nothing had changed. His absence made no difference. Nobody cared.
Endeavor might claim the flames had taken his son, but the ugly truth is that it was his ire, it was the secrets of the Todoroki family hidden behind walls of fire and ice that had killed the eldest son.
Killed Touya and allowed Dabi to rise from his ashes.
But I was wrong, his hair is combed, and he wears a suit and tie
Just seeing Endeavor's face on TV makes something in him break wide open, smoke escaping from the badly stapled grafts as he is forced to listen to the praise that is rained upon the number two hero who leaves nothing but destruction in his wake.
Who would never be hailed a hero if people found out what happened behind closed doors, if they knew who he truly was.
It makes him sick, makes rage course through his veins, fire licking at his skin the longer he stares at the face of the man who deserves nothing but pain. One day Dabi will make him suffer, will make him wish for a quick death, beg for mercy.
Just the thought brings a sneer to his face, mercy, as if Endeavor deserves the kindness of it.
Dabi knows his own flames are a curse that one day will take him down, will burn him alive from the inside, and when they do he knows just who will go down with him. He will make sure of it.
The longer he thinks about it the hotter his flames grow, everything illuminated in blue, and he can feel himself heating up, overheating, skin threatening to ignite, and he blindly reaches for a syringe.
Before he had fled the place he had been held prisoner, he can still hear Sunny's voice"You'll be safe here! We're your new family and we'll take care of you", the doctor had injected something into his veins that had made him able to handle the heat, freezing him without hindering his rage, his flames.
It had taken him a while to find out what it was, but once he held the information in his hands nothing stopped him from leaving, from setting the place ablaze, still Touya, still filled with hope that maybe this could be what would restore his place in the family. The disappointment that soon followed had been a bitter pill to swallow.
Finding the drug hadn't been hard once he found his connections in the dark alleys, slowly making a name for himself in the darkest corners of Japan, becoming a part of the night, of all the people left to rot in the shadows.
It feels like liquid ice is spreading through his veins as he injects it, something that sounds suspiciously like a moan escaping his lips when the relief sets in, when he no longer feels like his grafts are about to peel off once more, staples failing and leaving him vulnerable. Thick skin had never been in the cards for him.
A glance toward the TV tells him he will have to find a new one once more, parts of it had melted, leaving a hollow shell behind, almost a mirror image of who he is on the inside.
Groaning Dabi gets up, stretching and feeling rather than hearing his spine crack. He needs a distraction, maybe he'll find one outside. Late at night the most interesting people seemed to prowl the streets. Maybe one of them would be enough to get his mind of the number two hero, even if only for a moment.
If he had known the consequences his actions that night would have he would have never left the door but foresight wasn't a quirk he possessed, and in hindsight one is always wiser.
He's nice, polite, he'll catch you by surprise
The alleys are suspiciously quiet for 2 am, and Dabi can hear his own steps echoing in the silence. It makes him feel itchy, paranoid but still he continues walking, not ready yet to return to the empty flat and the melted TV that would only be another reminder of all he was trying to forgot for a moment.
It isn't until he has almost reached the bar Toga likes to drag him to whenever she can get her hands on him that he comes across another person, sees them way up high.
Crimson the first thing he sees and for a second he thinks of fire, of cursed flames, of burning, but Dabi pushes it away, instead squinting up and trying to make out who it is. If they are familiar and it doesn't take long before he lets out a quiet curse.
Hawks, or rather Takami Keigo, number three, held tightly on a leash not only by the HPSC but by Endeavor as well. Indebted to him because number two is great at saving and caring for kids that aren't his own, and of course Hawks' fucking birdbrain would imprint on the hero like that one duckling did on Natsuo when they were younger, following him around until Endeavor had grown annoyed and grilled it right in front of them.
To run into him of all people is not a good sign but before he can turn around, go anywhere else, go back to the flat for all he cares, he hears something moving through the air and Dabi knows he wasn't fast enough.
"You new here? Never seen you 'round before." Hovering, not yet touching the ground as is befitting for a winged being like him and for a moment Dabi imagines burning his wings, harshly forcing him back down to earth in more ways than one.
Maybe make Endeavor feel the pain of hurting one of the few children he had ever cared enough about to save. Fire in his veins flaring and he can already feel the spark, waiting to be set ablaze once more, but he'd rather not have heroes flooding the alleys he could almost call home and so he only hums noncommittal, uninterested in even giving an inch. Knowing that heroes always wanted the mile.
Dabi continues walking, hoping despite knowing better for Hawks to lose interest, to return to his perch high above all else, but of course Dabi had never been that lucky. The flutter of wings follows him through the streets, follows him wherever he goes. "Not very chatty, are you? Well I can talk enough for both of us. You know ol' Kazi's bar?" A snort almost escapes Dabi, the bird's not very subtle. He would have expected better from the pet of the HPSC than to simply outright ask something so damning.
Kazi's bar is the very bar Toga likes to drag him to the rare times she manages to catch him off guard, it's known for catering to the less than savory types, to the creatures hiding in the shadows. The best place to get information and there are three types of people who know of it; Underground heroes and the ones who don't mind getting their hands dirty, desperate people and the scum hiding in the dark. Dabi likes to think he belongs in the third category by now, but when he first found it he had been desperate. Desperate for something, for a way out of the hell he found himself in.
"Never heard of it. Whatcha want birdie? Got nothing better to do than follow me around?" Silently cursing as he realizes he had given Hawks just what he wanted; an inch.
Feet hit the ground behind him, and suddenly the red-winged hero is right next to him, a wide grin on his face as he falls into step next to Dabi. "Oh, so he can speak. Nice to meet ya, Hawks at your service."
Giving out his name in return feels like signing his own death sentence, Hawks' smile as bright as the fire that had consumed him once before.
A smile so bright, you'd never bat an eye
Ever since that night Hawks always seems to find Dabi when he leaves the house once the moon stands high. Not making a sound until he suddenly appears with a quip on his lips, cackling while escaping the blue flames Dabi sends his way.
Some nights he falls into step with Dabi, others the winged hero flies circles around him, launching himself into stories, being so full of energy that the fire quirk user wants to strangle him. Then there are the rare nights Dabi likes hates the most, when Hawks is exhausted but still comes to bother him, dragging him up up up the roofs and staring into the sky.
Voice soft in the silence, and Dabi knows he can't trust any of what the hero says, but he still finds himself intrigued. Fascinated. Wondering what else there is, if there is more to the whirlwind of feathers than what he shows. The nights on the roof only heighten the curiosity.
But curiosity would get him killed and so he abstains, carefully maintains the distance between them while Hawks seems to do anything to try and bridge the gap. Dancing on a wire across the abyss, waiting for the dark to devour him, for fire to swallow him whole.
"Hey hot stuff, up for some flying?" So it's a roof night. Looking at Hawks and Dabi understands why, the other looks exhausted, drained, and like he should be at home in his bed, or nest, rather than out and entertaining a lowly villain pretending to be a civilian at best, a vigilante at worst.
But it's not his place to worry about the HPSC's pet project. "Do your worst featherbrains but don't be surprised if I singe your goddamn wings again if you fly like you did the last time."
Hawks' laughter rings through the night as he forces Dabi into his arms, filed down claws digging into his waist and thigh, and the flame user would never admit it, can barely admit it in the depths of his own mind, but the closeness feels almost nice. It's been a long time since anyone touched him, reached out to him not out of malice but simply because they wanted to for whatever reason. Pretending like holding onto Hawks is a hardship, fingers entangled in the collar of his shirt and face pressed into the side of his throat to hide from the onslaught of wind.
Heating up his palms in warning when the winged hero flies higher, spinning, and Dabi feels the nausea settling in his stomach, acid burning what is left of his esophagus. "If you don't land I'll make sure you won't be flying for a while." The words are hissed into Hawks' skin, and he feels the laughter more than he hears it, but they do end up landing, the avian hero teasing him as Dabi stumbles on unsteady legs, needing a moment to find his center of balance once more.
"Commission's pissed that I stopped covering the markings around my eyes but jeez, do you know how annoying it is to always have all I need to conceal them on hand? Also make-up might be waterproof, but it sure as hell ain't sweat- and windproof."
Vulnerability covered up by humor. Or is it the other way around? Humor masquerading to be something more? Manipulating him to get under his skin, find a way through the gaps between grafts and flesh to poison his blood directly? Dabi doesn't know, can't quite reconcile what he knows about Hawks with the person lying next to him.
Close enough that Dabi finds his back cushioned by Hawks' wing, close enough that their hands brush, and on more than one occasion Hawks had linked their pinkies, grinning at Dabi when his hands would heat up but not saying anything before looking back up. It seems to be one of those days if the pinky caressing his is anything to go by.
He doesn't know what to make of it, all he knows is his skin is itching and he needs to understand but fears the day he will. Can't see this ending well but unwilling to call it quits quite yet. Trying to tell himself it is only for information, that Hawks is a good source even if the only thing the hero gives him most nights is gossip and small hints to who Hawks is underneath the mask.
There is something deeply unsettling about the situation he has found himself in, the illusion of closeness making a deep buried wound throb with need and there is nothing he can do about it. Nothing but curl his pinkie tighter around Hawks' and pretend for a while longer. "Well, fuck the commission. The markings are hot birdie. Don't let them tell you otherwise."
An evil sight, you should know the warning signs
Dabi finds himself growing used to Hawks, to his presence, to having to hide the more unsavory parts of who he is when faced with the hero night by night. It has alarm bells ringing in his mind.
There is danger in getting comfortable with a hero around, especially when Dabi takes his main goal into account. The destruction of Endeavor not something any hero would ever stand for, least of all Hawks, the leash dangling from his throat strangling two people now.
His continued presence has frozen the slow progress Dabi had been making, every single one of his projects in stasis, unable to interact with any of his connections as long as Hawks is around.
He'd seen Toga slink back into the shadows a few nights ago when she had seen the winged hero flying circles around Dabi, heard him cracking jokes and being a nuisance.
It has him thinking that Hawks knows who he is, or has a hunch as to what Dabi wants to do and what he has already done. Or the least likely option, the hero is simply lonely and enjoys the company. Something in the back of his mind wondering if it truly is so unlikely. It hadn't been hard to dig into him, to find out his name and his origins. All of it stunk of loneliness, the same way Tou- Dabi's childhood had.
But every interaction has its price and there is no world in which a hero like Hawks wouldn't have ulterior motives when interacting with someone who clearly has villainous ties. Nobody is out and about in the parts of the city Dabi lives in without having ties to heroes or the darkened corners of the world.
And so he takes notes on what Hawks tells him, a book filled with things the hero had said that one day might be of use to him. Maybe even beneficial to his own goal.
"Commission's still tryna figure out who set fire to the orphanage. Burned a real pretty blue, ya know?" Hawks had seen Dabi's blue flames enough times that he would be able to connect the two, but on paper there is no connection between Dabi and that place. He had burned all the evidence the day he vanished from its halls, left nothing but his flames behind.
And so he simply hums. "Well, there are lots of people with fire quirks, not even speaking of, if you know how, you could even achieve it without a fire quirk, could have been a chemical reaction." One of the hero's feathers offers a paper bag to Dabi and he can see the logo of the fancy soba restaurant on it. He can't remember when Hawks had dragged his favorite food from him, but ever since at least once a month a bag like this would find its way into his hands.
And the winged hero would watch as Dabi relished in it, nibbling on his chicken nuggets all the while, and wasn't it ironic that chicken was Hawks' favorite? A subtle reminder that hawks were birds of prey.
"Heard you got a lil' vampire problem 'round here lately." If it wasn't for Dabi's paranoia he might have missed the topic change, it might have appeared smooth to someone else but the fire user can't help but be suspicious. Growing even more suspicious when he realizes that Hawks statement could very well allude to Toga. She had been growing careless lately without Dabi around to talk sense into her, and there had been whispers about a little girl and her knives.
The cold Soba suddenly doesn't look quite as appetizing anymore. "Haven't heard anything about it. You know how it is around these parts. People talking, and in the end there's nothing."
Something in Hawks' eyes shifts at his words, something calculating in those golden eyes and Dabi thinks this might the sign that it is time to end whatever they have, time to step away before it's too late and the hero's feathers drag him down from where he is barely hanging on to the wire.
He manages to stay out of Hawks' sight for a week, staying in at night, and finding Toga in the twilight, talking her down from her rampage. Offering her a bit of his blood, the closest thing to an apology he has to give.
In the end he finds out it didn't matter, didn't make a difference. It was already too late. Hawks knows whose ashes he rose from.
He's nice, polite, he'll catch you by surprise
"Todoroki Touya. Funny how the whole world seems to think you're dead. You seem pretty alive to me, maybe a little roas-" The smell of burned feathers fills the air before the winged hero has the chance to finish speaking.
Blue flames dancing on Dabi's fingertips, the scent of iron in the air as the pressure under his eyes seems to grow. The cursed bird, he should have eviscerated him the day they met, should have known better than to think there might have been something worthwhile to be found in a hero. "Think carefully before you speak birdie. Don't fucking tempt me."
The grin spreading across Hawks' face is anything but kind, but still far too bright. His easy going nature makes it all too easy to forget that he is a predator, but Dabi had never felt more like he is staring down the maw of a monster, never felt more like prey.
"Ya know, you're not even denying it. Pretty sure I know a hero, or two…" He doesn't even need to continue speaking for Dabi to know the way this will end, the way he emphasizes 'two' tells him all he needs to know. "…who will be very interested in learning of your survival."
Silence.
Dabi doesn't know what to say, what to do, something in him vehemently against the only way out he can see. Burning Hawks until he is nothing but a pile of ashes not an option, his flames fighting him for the first time in his life.
Or maybe it is the rage, the fear gnawing on his bones, turning the fire in his veins to ice.
"Unless we make a deal."
Feathers circle him, cutting off every escape path.
A smile too bright on Hawks' face as he opens his arms, crimson wings fawned out behind him, an eerie glow from the street lights making him look otherworldly, and Dabi feels like he is about to sign his soul away.
But there is no other choice, not now.
One day, he'll find a way out of this, but today is not the day.
And maybe, just maybe it will end up beneficial to him after all. A Top 10 hero would be a great source even if he has to sell himself for it and play along.
"What do you want?"
A smile so bright, he's the devil in disguise