Chapter Text
“You know, Geralt, I’ve been wondering…”
Geralt stepped steadily across a fallen log and waited patiently as Jaskier stumbled his way over it, too. “Hm?”
Jaskier hesitated for a long moment, then blurted out all at once, “Could you use the Maple potion to put maple syrup on hotcakes?”
Geralt froze midstride. “Could I what?!” He stared at his friend as though he’d never seen him before.
Jaskier fidgeted in place “You know, with how you sweat maple syrup when you drink the Maple potion? If it’s gonna get everywhere anyway, you might as well make use of it, right?”
Geralt could hardly believe what he was hearing come out of his best friend’s mouth. And he’d heard the man say a lot of strange things over the years. Unfortunately he seemed to be working himself up to a full monologue, one which Geralt wasn’t entirely certain he wanted to hear. “Jaskier, what-“
And then it got worse.
“Hell, you could probably make some good money off the stuff. Take the potion, bottle the syrup, sell it in town-“
Geralt’s look of bewilderment shifted to one of pure horror. “Good gods Jaskier, you realize that’s my sweat you’re talking about!”
“Well, I mean…no one ever said you had to tell them where you got it?”
Geralt wasn’t sure where to even begin with a statement like that, let alone…everything else. He stared at the bard for a long, long moment, trying to convey the sheer intensity of how harshly he was judging him right now. Jaskier stared back at him, entirely unrepentant. “What? It’s just an idea.”
Geralt grimaced and turned back to the forest, deciding to just pretend this whole exchange had never happened. He heard Jaskier settle in step behind him, and made a point of putting at least five feet of distance between them.
Several minutes later, he finally found his voice again, and he just had one thing to say.
“Jaskier?”
The bard focused in on him. “Yes?”
Geralt took a deep breath. “Remind me to never accept food recommendations from you ever again.”