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John took a deep breath as he stood in the doorway and looked at his sons room all packed up. He was moving out and headed to University tomorrow. Hamish had been packing up his room the entire day with John. Sherlock was in and out saying that he was ‘busy’ to help pack but he always seemed to be in the area where Hamish and John were. Hamish had left to go and get dinner with Violet and Matt before they all moved in tomorrow.
“Where did the time go Sherlock?” John asked as he felt his husband behind him. “One day we get a basket on the door and now he is packed up and leaving for University.”
Sherlock rested his head on John’s shoulder. “I don’t know. Why did you let him go out tonight?”
John smiled as he turned his head and kissed Sherlock on his lips. “We have all of tomorrow with him. He promised us.”
“Still,” Sherlock complained.
John smiled, “Are you getting sentimental on me Sherlock Watson-Holmes?” John asked him.
“No,” he said, his voice growing deep. John knew that he was trying to hold back tears. Sherlock hadn’t said much the past few days. But John knew that something was up with Sherlock. John knew it was going to be hard to have Hamish leave. Sure, he had been gone for a few months at a time. But Sherlock was taking his officially moving out extremely hard.
John smiled and kissed Sherlock on his neck. “Just think,” he said to him. “Now we get our bees.” Sherlock nodded mutely and went into Hamish’s room to finish packing up his son’s room. John sighed and looked at his husband as he packed.
The following day Mycroft sent a car for them. John, Sherlock and Hamish loaded up the car and were on their way after a few hours. The car ride was quite. It was just a 13 minute ride but it felt like hours. Sherlock looked out the front of the car and drove. No comments about the other drivers on the road. No deductions just silence.
“When is Matt moving in?” John asked Hamish as he turned around to look at his grown son. He looked up from his mobile his blue eyes looking back at his dad. His black hair cut short and styled to look somewhat like David Tennant.
“Now, and then Vi, is on her way.” Hamish said as he looked back down at his phone. He then looked over at his Papa. “Papa are you okay, you are quiet.”
Sherlock nodded his head as he got onto the A40.
“You guys are staying for dinner right?” Hamish asked them.
“We will see,” John told his son with a smile as he placed his right hand on Sherlock’s knee as he drove. He gave it three squeezes and he saw a smile on Sherlock’s face for a brief second before turning back to the sullen stone face he had before.
“I hope that you do. Violet’s parents have to drop her off and then head back down to Sussex. We really want to treat you guys to dinner.” Hamish explained to them.
“Okay, but only if it’s just you and us for lunch,” John said. “We won’t get to have very many more Watson-Holmes boy lunches,” John offered to Hamish.
Hamish smiled. “Deal. Papa what do you think?”
“Fine.” Sherlock said.
Hamish frowned as his Papas tone but he didn’t comment on it. He held his lip and pulled out his mobile to text Violet.
My Papa is acting odd. Even for him- Hal
His only son is leaving. My dad is acting odd today-Violet
I’m worried he might do something stupid-Hal
That bad? - Violet
Yeah….. – Hal
Hamish slid his phone into his pocket as they pulled up to his dorm. He saw Matt’s parents and sister as they moved in his boxes into their new home. Hamish went to the building and got his house keys. Sherlock parked the car as they began to load the cart to bring up the boxes. They managed to get all the big items up in just two loads.
They began to unpack a few things when Hamish was growing hungry. “Lunch?” Hamish offered as Matt had gone with his parents and sister to lunch and Violet had just gotten there and he knew she would want to spend that time with her rents as well.
“Sure, how about some pizza?” John suggested. Sherlock shrugged as he grabbed his coat and headed on out of the room. Hamish looked at his dad as John pushed his lips together in frustration with his husband. Hamish went searching for a jumper as John walked after Sherlock to yell at him. “You know ignoring him won’t help.” John told Sherlock as he reached for a cigarette. John grabbed his from his lips and then grabbed the pack he was holding in his hand.
“I’m doing no such thing. Now give them back.” Sherlock hissed looking at John with his long hand outstretched towards him. John put the cigarettes into his coat pocket and shook his head as Hamish came down.
“Violet says hi,” Hamish said as his Papa rolled his eyes and began to walk. Hamish huffed out a sigh of frustration as he stuck his phone into his pocket and followed. Sherlock said nothing when they got to the pizza parlor. He sat down with a huff; they ordered the pizza and drinks. As they waited Hamish once again recited all the numbers he needed to know and how to get to the new country house in Sussex if he needed to. John and Sherlock had decided to stay in London till the first snow and then they would semi retire to Sussex till the spring. When they would then return to 221b.
Hamish laughed as he finished off his apple juice. “Jeeze guys! We’ve been apart for long periods of time.”
“But this time it’s more permanent,” John explained to him as he reached across the table and took his sons hand.
“I know,” he said to him. “But we can Skype and I’ll call.” Hamish paused as he looked over at Sherlock. “Papa is something wrong?” he asked. Sherlock looked up at his son. “Normally you would be deducing everyone in the restaurant and having Dad yell at you.”
Sherlock shrugged. “I’m fine.”
Hamish took a deep breath in. He had just about enough of his father and he was tired of putting on a happy face. “I don’t like that I’m moving out and you will be in Sussex and you dad, you are being a bloody tit!” Hamish yelled. John looked up from his pizza and turned to Sherlock as his face looked shocked. “You could at least pretend to have sad feelings about me leaving. I mean a little sentiment isn’t going to kill you!” Hamish yelled as he stood up from the table. “I need to…. Take a piss,” he said as he walked away and to the back of the restaurant where the toilets were.
John turned and looked at Sherlock. “What the bloody hell is wrong with you?” he hissed as he placed his hand on Sherlock’s.
Sherlock squeezed his hand. “I don’t want him to go…” he admitted to him.
“Yes but why are you being so mean to him?” he asked looking at his husband as he felt his body grow stiff.
Sherlock was quiet for a long time before he squeezed John’s hand again. “It’s a trick.” He told him.
John remembered those exact words from over 20 years ago and gasped. “You are trying to make him mad so he doesn’t realize you’re upset.” John stopped; he placed a hand on Sherlock’s face. “Hal will still think you’re a hero if you cry.”
Sherlock shifted in his seat as Hamish walked back in and sat down. “I’m going to dinner tonight with Matt and Violet. I don’t want to keep you two here any longer than need be, I know you have to pack up the flat.” Hamish said anger laced in his voice.
John looked at Sherlock as he pulled out his credit card to pay for lunch. Once the check was paid they walked back. The walk was quiet. Sherlock held John’s hand as they walked. Hamish was a few feet ahead of them with his head buried into his mobile. When they got back to his room John and Sherlock wanted to help Hamish finished getting settled before they left.
“I’m going to go and see Violet,” Hamish said as he grabbed his key.
“Hal…” John pleaded with his son.
“I’m going to say goodbye to Mr. and Mrs. Baker okay,” he said shutting the door. John turned and looked at Sherlock.
“Talk to him.”
“Just unpack,” he said as he opened up a box.
John unpacked Hamish’s bedding and was able to get his bed made (And no doubt the only time it would be made that nice ever again) before he came back. Sherlock had gone out to get another item from the car, though John new he had stolen his cigarettes back and was out having a smoke.
Hamish came back to his room crying. John set the hangers that were in his hands down as he pulled his son into a hug. “Is Papa mad at me for leaving? I thought he would be happy I’m going to Uni. Though it’s not for Chemistry but still its Uni. Why isn’t he happy Dad?” Hamish asked as he buried his head into his dad’s chest.
John gave Hamish a hug and then rubbed his back. “Hal, he is happy for you. He is just upset you are leaving and he is deflecting all emotions at the moment.”
Hamish sniffed as he looked at his dad and they both took a seat on his bed. “He doesn’t act like it.”
“Well, I’ve only seen him like this one before.” John admitted to his son.
“When?” Hamish asked as he took a tissue and blew his nose.
“When he faked his own death. He told me he was a fake. He made me so mad at him.” John confessed. “But later I found out that he was just as upset.” John wrapped an arm around his son. “It’s just how your Father deals with stress like that.”
“It doesn’t make sense!” Hamish complained as he leaned against his side. John bit his lower lip as he looked down at his grown son. His son who was now in University. His son who was saving up money to propose to his girlfriend. His and Sherlock’s son.
“He is our father Hal. He doesn’t ever make sense.”
Hamish nodded his head as his Papa came back. John could smell the smoke but said nothing. He just got up and excused himself. He knew Hamish needed to talk to Sherlock. Hamish got up and walked over to Sherlock. “Papa, I’m sorry for yelling at you. I love you and I know it is hard to see me leave but I can’t stay away forever.”
Sherlock clenched his jaw as Hamish talked to him.
“I could never hate you. No matter how much you try and make me hate you I never will.” Hamish informed him.
There was a knock on the door and Violet pocked her head in. “Hey Papa, I came to see…bad time?” she asked looking at Hamish.
“No,” Sherlock said as he walked quickly past her.
Violet walked in and looked at Hamish as he pulled her into a side hug. “Is he okay?”
“No,” Hamish said.
John came back into the room to help with a few more things. Sherlock finally reappeared just in time to tell his son goodbye. John gave Hamish a hug and wished him good luck before he walked out with Sherlock. When they got to the car, Sherlock unlocked it go in and then locked the doors. John grabbed Sherlock’s hand. “Just let it out love.” He said.
It began with one tear, then two. Suddenly Sherlock had his head bent as he leaned into John’s opened arms. His body just shook as he cried. John knew how much Sherlock cared about Hamish, but seeing him this distraught was even too much for John to handle. He held his weeping husband as he held back his own tears. “It’s okay Sherlock. Shh, he is still our little doctor.”
John looked up as there was three knock on the window. Sherlock looked up and saw Hamish standing there. Sherlock opened up the door and Hamish looked at him. “Papa….” Hamish had tears in his eyes. Sherlock didn’t want to look at his son but he did. Getting out of the car Hamish pulled his Papa into a hug and held him tight. “I will always need you Papa. I don’t want you to push me away. Ever.”
Sherlock tried but he began to cry again as he held his son. John got out of the car and walked over to his two boys. “I don’t want you to go,” Sherlock said almost inaudible. But Hal heard it, which was all that mattered.
John put his arms around Sherlock’s back and one around Hamish’s. “He has to grow up Sher.” John told him as he put on a brave solider face. “Though… dear gowd I don’t want you to.” John felt a lump in his throat. “Take care of yourself. Eat, and sleep and shower…”
“Of course I will shower!” Hamish laughed as he wiped a tear away.
“Good,” Sherlock said pulling Hamish into yet another hug. “Deduce your teachers,” Sherlock advised him.
Hamish giggled as he looked over at his Dad. “Not you two...”
John took a deep breath and smiled. “Don’t let Vi be too big a distraction.” He laughed as he saw her coming.
“Who… me?” she asked as she hugged both John and Sherlock. “I promise you both to take care of him for you.”
Sherlock looked at her. “You better.” He then smiled to let her know that he wasn’t upset with her.
This time when Sherlock hugged Hamish goodbye he felt a bit better as he got into the car. “You ready?” John asked Sherlock as he started up the car.
“No, but we have to let go.” Sherlock said as he turned the car on. Putting it in reverse they pulled out of the parking spot.
“But letting go doesn’t mean forgetting.” John said as the car went into park and then began to drive away. “We will be so busy getting the cottage ready and the bees…” John trailed off as Sherlock placed his hand on John’s knee.
“John.”
“Yes.”
“I’m still sad.” Sherlock told him.
Hamish watched as his dad’s pulled away. “I have never seen your Papa cry.” Violet admitted to him.
“They are going to raise bees. My Papa made my Dad that promise when I was 2.” Hamish looked down at Violet. “I’m making you a promise that we are going to travel the world.”
Violet looked up and kissed Him. “I will hold you to that Mr. Watson-Holmes.” She said with a smile. But she saw the sadness in Hamish’s eyes. “It’s okay to miss them.”
Hamish nodded. “I just never realized how much I was going to till they drove away.”