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I used to think one day, we'd tell the story of us and how we met and the sparks flew instantly
How they met was almost as if it had been written out of a fairytale : the two crossed path in the park on the campus, Mina was busy gathering her stuff that spilled out of her bag because she unintentionally knocked it off the bench and Chaeyoung was just walking there after class and immediately went down on her knees to catch the pen that was rolling on the pavement. She picked it up, making sure it wasn't damaged nor dirty and handed it to the unlucky girl finally grabbing the last pieces that fell down. When Mina looked up, she was surprised there was someone helping her at all, not because people were usually closed off or unfriendly but because there was not many people around that time in the park. Still standing with a smile on her face was Chaeyoung, given the chance to admire the stranger's features. Eventually, after dozing off for a few seconds, Mina gently took the pen out of her hand and put it back in its case, slightly blushing. "Thank you... for this... I'm a bit clumsy these days." She said, a bit embarrassed for the awkward silence that was just there for a moment. "Pleased to help. So you're clumsy hmm? Nice to meet you, I'm Chaeyoung. "
So it was started with a pen, but the next few days, it continued with small messages written on torn paper pieces, small poems turned into real poetry and shared time between classes turned into planning whole day with each other. At this point, you would say that everything was perfect and that it would turn into one of those beautiful stories everyone has heard of but had never experienced but no. Yes, they fought, sometimes. Nothing out of the ordinary for a couple, it was even cute and ridiculous sometimes but it was even worse when nothing happened, no fight, no argument just simple complications, miscommunication.
I used to know my place was the spot next to you, now I'm searching the room for an empty seat.
It started with Chaeyoung, who would usually be next to her at every chance she got to barely hanging out outside of campus; she would see Mina in the library, and fake not seeing her to sit down few rows further.
Mina, hours later would still be waiting at the same spot and stand up to look for her and catch her on her own few meters aways.
Now I'm standing alone, in a crowded room and we're not speaking
And it went on, Mina never spoke about it, she was trying to not make a big deal out of it, maybe Chaeyoung was more focused if she was to study on her own after all, it was moments where they would not talk that much but it was the first crack in their story. After all, they would still hang out Friday nights and during the weekend.
After a week or two came the messages, the excuses, the messages left on read to be replied few hours late. At first, it was school related such as a project to prepare then it was because of a family trip and then, no answers until the afternoon.
I'm scared to see the ending, why are we pretending it's nothing?
: I miss you
CY : we saw each other on Friday, and I'll see you tomorrow
I've never heard a silence quite this loud
And at some point, Mina stopped waiting, she just did not want to be disappointed. At first when she saw a notification, she would unlock her phone to see if it was one of Chaeyoung's messages but now, she would just turn it silent and unlock it few hours after.
And I'm dying to know, if it's killing you, like it's killing me yeah
Their friends had sensed that something was strange between the two, well, they would still sit all together for lunch break but where at some point they were attached to the hips now they would not sit next to each other but around the same table. Nobody addressed it directly it seemed more like secret whispering after eating. "What's going on with you two these days?" Jihyo asked out of concern. "Why are you asking?" Mina replied while throwing away what was left of her plate. "The two of you seem off, I mean, you obviously long for the other since you keep on looking at each other but you guys don't interact and it's been almost a month ever since it started so I'm genuinely concerned. What is going on Mina?" Jihyo explained calmly but with some frustration in her voice. "Nothing, that's the problem Jihyo. I don't know why, I don't know how but things just turned this way." Replied Mina with an exasperated sigh but sad expression. "Did you talked to her ab-" she was cut off by Nayeon "Come on guys, you've been taking forever and classes start in 10 and I'd rather not arrive late. You know how Mrs. Lee is when it's around mid-term."
Mina sighed but followed the rest of the group while Jihyo just shook her head before going ahead.
The ball is in your hands now, but I would lay my armor down if you say you'd rather love than fight
Mina had thought about it for hours if not days ever since the short conversation with Jihyo happened, she should talk about it with Chaeyoung... right? But how can she possibly discuss this further if she cannot get a hold of the latter without her not running off to who-knows-where. So one day, after her third attempt on talking to Chaeyoung face to face and being brushed off, she sent a simple but straight to the point message : Let's talk, I guess we can't avoid the subject for much longer.
So yes, you would say it punched Chaeyoung straight in the face. Not that she did not deserve it but more like she had reasons she was afraid to discuss with Mina. Because, yes she avoided her for the past month and yes she did not think twice when she made her decisions but she decided out of impulse, out of fear.
Like, forty-five days earlier, they talked about life but more precisely, life after university, life few years ahead, their dreams. Mina had been very passionate and vocal about it, as if it was an evidence, she would go back to Japan where she would find her dream job and go back to her family and possibly, after three or four years, go to the United States, it is where she was born after all. But what she did not calculate or put her attention on is how Chaeyoung took the news. Sure, she would love for the older to be able to achieve all of this but where did she stand in all of her plans? Did she even consider her as part of them or was what they had just something that would last until Mina completed her studies in Seoul? Chaeyoung was confused, sad but she did not want to make it about her so she just smiled, diverted the subject before leaving suddenly pretending her mother had requested her to be there for dinner. In her room that evening (and night), she thought that maybe, what she thought that would last for decades was meant to last for few years and then what? She did not want to break up with her, Mina was too much of a treasure to be left buried but staying with her also meant being more attached to the woman and also being hurt a whole lot more when it was meant to be the end of the chapter in Mina's book. So she did the next stupid thing : keeping everything to herself and distancing herself step by step but keeping loving her still. It was never easy to do so, every time she had to avoid her in a room or make up an excuse to not hang out after class, it would make a dent in her heart but she had to endure it or so that was what she would tell herself.
So when she was the text, she freaked out. She knew that was she was doing was risky, wrong but somehow, since she convinced herself that it was the right thing to do, she felt less guilty about it but that text just made all her worries come crashing down. She took a few minutes to breathe and think carefully and she replied : I'm coming at yours, i'll be there in a nine minutes. Love you.
Okay, the last part was not mandatory since she messed everything up and she knew it would not fix everything but she felt like that might be one of the last times she would actually be able to say that to her (even by text message) if Mina was to break thing off with her (dumb ass).
She did not just arrived, she ran to Mina's house and crashed into the front door before Mina had the time to unlock it.
"What- didn't you see that it was closed, pabo-yah! Now you can enter safely" Exclaimed Mina, concerned but still had the ghost of a smile on her face. "An idiot, that I am."
She walked and they climbed up the stairs to Mina's room and Chaeyoung awkwardly stood still in the middle of the room.
"So, tell me why I have barely seen you this past month and why it does strangely feel like you've been avoiding me this whole time? And if you're asking, yes people actually noticed especially Jihyo." Chaeyoung looked down, at loss for words and ashamed of how she has been behaving with the girl she secretly swore to not hurt. "I... I know I have... been distancing myself lately..." Mina let out a sarcastic laugh. "Distancing? That's the word yeah. But may I know where this all is transcending from? I mean I remember the last day it felt... normal. I had talked to you about my dreams and... I don't know, the next day it was sweet and a regular day and then, you started acting weird I mean, can't say much about how you've been acting since you're apparently avoiding me and not denying it." Mina crossed her arms and turned her head. "I've been an ass, I know but- that's the thing." Chaeyoung tried to explain miserably. "Obviously you've been an ass to me but what think are you talking about? What's wrong?" "You- you've talked about your dreams and- and I am sincerely thrilled and happy that you have all those plans but when you talked to going back home... I mean... where does that leave us? What does that leave... me?" Mina turned her head back to take a look at her girlfriend, almost tearful from confessing what has been on her mind for weeks. "What- baby, I was just saying this because that's honestly my dream and being able to go back to work in Japan would mean a lot to mean but that doesn't mean I'm planning on breaking up with you. I don't necessarily have to go back to Japan... it could be in years and you could... come with me..." she carefully explain full of sincerity in her voice.
At that moment, Chaeyoung understood she had been torturing herself with her thoughts and what she thought she had understood all along. Mina had gotten shy but she was still pretty much angry. She turned her head to the side waiting for a reaction, Chaeyoung immediately turned and dropped on her knees in front of her girlfriend. "First, I apologize for how unfair I've been treating you, you didn't deserve it and I'm just the dumbest girlfriend ever." Mina relaxed a little. "We were talking about the future, your future more precisely and- and I- when I heard you wanted to go back home in Japan I panicked because you didn't say anything related to... us or to me. So I thought that you never planned for this relationship to last... and I was so happy for you to have a clear long-term plan but I was also so heartbroken that I decided that I would slightly distance myself in order to protect my feelings even though I could never stop loving you." A pause, Chaeyoung searched for Mina's eyes to continue and to assure her that she was genuine and serious. "I know I should've talked to you about it but I was so scared that you were just going to confirm what I had been fearing all along and I just avoided talking about it or talking to you. But Mina, I swear on everything I have that I have never loved someone as much as I love you and, if didn't mess everything between us, I would love to follow you wherever you go."
Chaeyoung was breathless but she could not care less, she just wanted to convey what she had been feeling and she desperately wanted Mina to forgive her even if it meant that she had to be given some time. What she expected was for Mina to go away or even to be slapped but what surprised her the most was how soft Mina's hands felt against her cheeks and how soft her lips felt against hers. After a second, Chaeyoung reciprocated the kiss, slowly elevating herself to be at the same face level as Mina and put her hands on Mina's thighs. After a minute of kissing, they separated. "You are right, you should've talked to me about it because, Chaeyoung, I never said I wanted to go home, I said I wanted to go back to Japan because home is wherever you are. I don't care if we end up in Japan, in Thailand or in Australia as long as I get to be with you, it's all im wishing for." After those words, the both shed some tears and hugged, getting some comfort after this month of silence and avoiding. "Let it be in Thailand or in Australia because I really want to marry you at some point. That if you're still on board of course because I've been the worst girlfriend for some time now..." Mina cracked a smile. "Mmmh... let me think about it... I don't know yet... Let's say that you have time to make up for it from..." Mina checked her watch and tried to sound serious. "Now on". Chaeyoung pouted but a second after, had a smirk painted on her face. She decided too could play this game. She started pecking Mina's lips, repeatedly and shortly and after a dozen small kisses, she suddenly stopped. "Oh sorry, I have to be forgiven first, kisses will be on hold for thr meantime." She faked a guilty reaction with a sneer but she was quickly taken aback when a hand reached for her t-shirt's and brought her lips back against her girlfriend's. "Don't you dare trying to tease me like this when I should be the one making fun of you like this." She connected their lips again. And again. Well there was no time to lose but... forgiveness can be earned with kisses... right?
The end.