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5 words.
5 words was all it took for Jimin to feel her world fall apart. Flames everywhere, cars and planes crashing. A meteor striking her like the one that had made dinosaurs go extinct.
All because of these horrifying 5 words.
Yu Jimin and Uchinaga Aeri.
No matter how often she had closed and opened her eyes in an attempt to make the words go away (hoping it was all just a nightmare), the letters were still there. Staring at her. Mocking her.
What was the teacher thinking when she put them together for a project that made up 60% of the course’s grade?
“Minjeong please tell me this is not real and that it’s a nightmare that I’m going to wake up from soon”, Jimin said as she continued to stare at the paper on the wall.
“Unfortunately for you this is very real”, Minjeong smiled in amusement.
“Ugh, what am I going to do now?”, Jimin whined.
“Well, work on the assignment with her so that you can pass?”, Minjeong leaned against the wall, her smile growing bigger, “I still don’t get why you dislike her so much. She seems nice!”
“Listen, I try my best to not judge others, to live and let live… but we are just too different. I mean…”, Jimin grimaced before continuing, “she is irresponsible. All she does is party. She goes to class with hangovers and then doesn’t pay any attention at all. I bet her grades are awful.”
“Okay, we all know that you’re definitely not the type to live and let live.”
Jimin ignored Minjeong as she ran her hand through her hair in distress.
“I mean… this is who I have to rely on to pass the course and eventually graduate from this bachelor? It’s a death sentence!”
Jimin turned towards Minjeong with a disgusted expression.
“And she always smells like cigarettes. The rest of her friend group is exactly the same. It’s like they don’t take anything seriously! And on top of that, I heard she has an inner lip tattoo. She is not good news at all.”
Minjeong raised her eyebrow.
“I mean I have a tattoo too.”
Jimin waved her off.
“Yeah but yours is three puppies. It’s cute! I bet hers is something edgy or weird.”
Minjeong hummed in thought, only for a smirk to appear on her face. The type of smirk that meant trouble.
“You know, for someone who dislikes Aeri that much you sure have paid a lot of attention to her. Even I didn't notice these things about her before.”
Jimin shot her a dangerous glare.
“And what do you mean by that exactly?”
Minjeong put her hands up in fake-innocence.
“I’m just saying that maybe you secretly think she is hot!”
Jimin gasped as if Minjeong had offended her family and all of her ancestors.
“Me? Thinking Aeri is hot? Are you crazy?”, Jimin’s voice was absurdly high-pitched.
“I don’t know, maybe you’re in denial!”
“I am NOT in denial. I would never ever find Aeri attractive. Ever.”
“Uh huh, right”, Minjeong smirked again, “well hey, now you have your chance to hang out with her and do some soul-searching on it. You know, just to confirm you would really never find her attractive.”
“I would be happy to just survive through all of this.”
“Well I have to go to my class. Good luck with yours. It’s the one with Aeri right?”
“Ugh don’t remind me. I’m seriously considering jumping off that window over there”, Jimin rolled her eyes.
Minjeong chuckled and turned around to walk away, but not before she said some final words.
“Well, update me on the situation. It sounds like it’s going to be fun. Besides… they do say that opposites attract.”
Before Jimin could answer, Minjeong had already disappeared around the corner.
Jimin looked up at the ceiling internally begging for god to strike her down. But of course nothing happened. So she grabbed the strap of her bag, sighed and then made her way towards the classroom.
After a brief conversation in class about where and when to meet up to start working on the assignment (with Jimin being as curt as possible and Aeri just nonchalantly agreeing with the plans), she was sitting in the library and typing away on her laptop in deep concentration, brainstorming for ideas.
They had agreed to meet up from 9:30 to 10:00 in the morning to briefly discuss what their topic would be, but Jimin had already been in the library since 9:00 as public transport was very unreliable and she hated being late. She took a glance at the clock on the bottom right corner of the screen. It was 9:25 and there was no Aeri in sight.
Technically it wasn’t 9:30 yet so that made sense, but when it came to her, Jimin couldn’t help but jump to conclusions. Which also meant assuming things like Aeri being the type to be late (which would honestly check out given her attitude in class).
Jimin rubbed her temple and sighed as she once again processed the reality of them being forced to work together. She could only hope that this month would pass in the blink of an eye so that she could be free from the torture.
As she continued to type and scroll through the list of literary theories that they had learnt about in class, thinking of the ones that appealed to her and what stories could be analyzed with them, her flow of thought got interrupted by the scraping sound of the chair next to her getting pulled.
Jimin took a quick look at the clock.
It was exactly 9:30.
“Good morning!”
Jimin briefly glanced at Aeri who was looking at her with a relaxed but bare-toothed smile on her face.
It didn’t take a genius to figure that this girl had some sort of passion for black given how almost everything she owned and wore, from her beanie, to her hoodie, jeans, shoes and bag was dripped in that color (well, if you could call it a color. Jimin personally thought it didn’t classify as one). The only trace of color on her was her bright blonde, long hair. And thinking of it, she couldn't recall any moment when Aeri had worn something that wasn’t monochrome.
“Exactly 9:30. Surprising”, Jimin simply stated, her voice devoid of emotion. She returned her gaze to her screen.
“You thought I was the type to be late?”, Jimin could tell Aeri was amused by the tone of her voice. She listened as the latter took off her backpack and hung it behind the chair.
“Yes.”
“Wow… based on what?”
“Your lazy attitude in class.”
Aeri let out a faint chuckle as she sat down.
“Okay, ouch that kind of hurt.”
“Which is also why I took the liberty to already decide what we are going to write about”, Jimin turned her screen towards Aeri, “since we had to read Mrs. Dalloway and Krapp’s Last Tape which are two novels that represent modernist literature, I think it makes sense to use nihilist theory to argue for the increasing nihilistic attitude in modernist literature. I already found some sources we could use.”
“So, you aren’t going to ask what I’m interested in?”
This time Jimin took a longer look at Aeri, who was holding her chin in her palm as her elbow rested on the table. There was still a smile on her face, though this one seemed amused.
“I didn’t think you would have any interest or an opinion.”
“Well, I actually do! And I have the same opinion. Nihilism is interesting to me, so I’m totally down to write about this,” Aeri’s smile changed into a teasing smirk, “I guess we do match after all, how lucky!”
She leaned in just slightly.
“Speaking of matching, we were both born in 2000 right? Let's speak comfortably with each other!”
Jimin scoffed.
“My only goal here is to get a high grade and pass this course. And I want to get over this as soon as possible. So let’s just keep things formal between us. I’m not interested in becoming friends with you.”
For a moment, she noticed Aeri’s smile falter. It was for a brief second, something you could miss if you blinked. But Jimin did catch it. And for some reason, she realized the harshness of her words. Maybe even to the point of feeling slightly bad, even though she disliked her.
Jimin couldn’t help it though. It’s not that she was being harsh on purpose. In fact, she didn’t like people who were rude for no reason. But she was the type to speak before thinking. And her unfiltered honesty was both a strength and a weakness. Even when she tried to keep her opinions to herself, you could read it off her. Like she was an open book.
“Well, the offer stays up in case you change your mind one day.”
“I doubt that”, Jimin replied before she could bite on her own tongue, “let’s not waste time and meet up as much as possible to get it over and done with then.”
“Yes boss!”, Aeri saluted, earning a deadly look from Jimin. It frustrated her how she couldn’t take anything seriously. She really did not have a good feeling about this.
Which is why she decided that, if needed, she would do most of the work. There was no way she was going to rely on Aeri for this. Ultimately, she would rather take matters into her own hands.
“Then the topic has been decided”, Jimin said as she closed her laptop and put it in her backpack.
“Well this was a short meet-up”, Aeri chuckled. The sound sent shivers down Jimin’s spine. Probably out of disgust.
“We met up to discuss what the topic would be. And now we have a topic and a framework to use. That’s all there was to it”, Jimin got up from her chair and put on her jacket.
Aeri watched her silently, still with her chin resting in her hand and that same relaxed and amused smile on her face.
“I will plan out what each of us should work on and will send you the layout of the essay. What is your email?”
“Give me your number and I will text it to you.”
Jimin grimaced at the thought of Aeri having her number, but there was not really any other choice. It was the most efficient way of communicating, besides meeting up in person.
She watched as Aeri saved her number and then sent her a text.
[09:46]:
“Hello hello~”
[09:46]:
Jimin watched the notifications pop up on her screen and then put her phone back in her pocket.
“Okay, let’s meet up on Wednesday at the same hour, same place”, Jimin said, putting it out as more of a statement rather than a suggestion.
“I have a class then, but I have a free spot at 14:30 if you can?”
Jimin nodded somewhat stiffly.
“Also works. I’ll see you then”, Jimin turned around without sparing her a second glance.
“Bye Jiminnn.”
Jimin rolled her eyes at how Aeri said, or rather, sang her name so casually. Too comfortably. They had barely talked and she was already getting annoyed at the blonde. Her attitude was frustrating. The way she carried herself. How she smiled. The audacity to even suggest for them to speak comfortably as if they were friends. How infuriating.
She pulled out her phone and opened the messages to save Aeri’s number. Jimin’s gaze, however, briefly fell on her profile picture instead.
On it, Aeri was wearing a black tanktop and a black beanie, with her long, pink hair cascading down over her right shoulder and chest. The picture had a somewhat grainy quality, which reminded Jimin of those old macbook selfies that used to be trendy back in the day.
Jimin reasoned that Aeri probably took it at least 7 months ago when she still had her bright pink hair. She vividly remembered the day she first saw her, recalling how Aeri had been the first person in class that she had truly noticed due to her hair. Even back then she had been loyal to her black clothes, which made her bright hair stand out even more.
Jimin zoomed in on her face. She was wearing very sharp eyeliner and there was a slight pout on her lips. Despite how much she disliked her, Jimin couldn’t deny that Aeri was very pretty. She had already thought so when she first saw her.
“I’m just saying that maybe you secretly think she is hot!”
Minjeong’s voice suddenly popped up in her mind, haunting her with words that perhaps held some sort of uncomfortable truth after all.
Jimin grunted as she shoved her phone back in her pocket.
So annoying.
During their next encounter, Jimin felt like she was going to explode. Aeri was smelling like cigarettes. Again.
The perk of meeting up in the morning was that it was too early for Aeri to smoke, therefore, preventing Jimin’s nostrils from getting destroyed. Jimin would choose waking up at an ungodly early time over being tortured like this.
“Don’t smoke before our meet-ups. The smell is disgusting”, Jimin said while glaring at Aeri, whose eyebrows instantly raised from surprise before her infamous smile found its way back to her face.
“Well hello to you too Jimin.”
Jimin grabbed a pack of mints from her backpack and put them on the library desk with a thud.
“At least eat one of these, so that I can talk to you without having to smell your bad breath.”
“But my breath doesn’t smell, though?”
“So you’re expecting me to believe that even though all your clothes smell like cigarettes, that somehow your breath doesn’t?”, Jimin deadpanned, entirely unamused by the situation.
Aeri’s mouth opened and then she closed it. Whatever she had to say, it seemed like she had changed her mind about it.
“Got it, boss”, she saluted before grabbing the pack and popping a mint in her mouth.
“Stop calling me that”, if looks could kill, Jimin’s gaze would’ve made Aeri spontaneously burst into flames.
“Okay, chief”, Aeri smirked, feeling clearly amused.
“You’re so annoying.”
“Well, thank you!”
“Not a compliment.”
Jimin rubbed her temple and sighed.
“Whatever. Let’s focus”, she said as she entered her password on the laptop, a word document popping up on the screen, “I have already written down some ideas about how to connect nihilism to the two stories. Or at least to Mrs. Dalloway. I think her being an atheist is the most obvious connection to Nietzsche and nihilism since religion argues for objective truth while nihilism says that there is not one truth but that truth differs for each individual.”
Aeri nodded.
“Yeah, it was a good point. I agree with it. I also think that the fact that Virginia Woolf used the stream of consciousness technique further supports the individual truth argument. Cause it’s like a continuum of the beliefs and thoughts of each character, so you just get a continuous shift in perspective without there being much or any attention to the factual narration of events. I wrote about it right after your part, scroll down a little and see what you think.”
Jimin blinked a few times. She then scrolled down to verify that Aeri had indeed written down everything that she had just said. The latter had even highlighted certain parts and added some comments.
She had honestly expected Aeri to just nod in silence and pretend like she was listening while sitting on her phone doing unrelated things.
To say she was surprised was quite an understatement.
“Yeah… that’s… that’s a good point”, Jimin replied with a frown on her face, clearly having been taken aback.
“I was also thinking about how in both Mrs. Dalloway and Krapp’s Last Tape the narrative fights against imposing some objective moral truth. There are a lot of problems that the characters deal with but the stories avoid telling the reader the right course of action. You can see it especially with how young Krapp talks about a vision that is important to him but then old Krapp doesn’t care about it. Even his younger self and his older self don’t view the truth of life the same way. It could connect to how nihilism basically argues that each individual finds their own meaning in life, and even that meaning can change for the individual themselves. I didn’t write that down though, but maybe we could do something with that?”, Aeri continued, while again casually resting her chin in her palm as she gestured with her other hand.
“That’s… also a really good point”, Jimin said, her voice barely above a whisper, as she typed down a quick summary of what Aeri had just said.
“Are you okay?”, Jimin looked at Aeri who seemed to have a worried frown on her face.
“Yeah, it’s just that I didn’t expect for you to have actually read these.”
“Well, I like reading and I like to analyze what I read. It’s fun”, Aeri smiled, “surprised?”
“Yeah, a lot actually.”
Her smile grew wider.
“Guess you don’t know me that well after all, huh?”, Aeri said. She pointed to the pack of mints on the desk, “can I have another one? I like the taste.”
Jimin slowly and silently nodded, still processing whatever the hell had just happened.
And as she watched Aeri pop another mint in her mouth, Jimin started to entertain the possibility that maybe, just maybe, this wasn’t going to be as much of a catastrophe as she had expected after all.
It turned out that they were a good team. An excellent team even.
From how they bounced ideas off of each other, to how they completed each other’s trains of thought, corrected each other’s mistakes, took over tasks when the other didn’t have time to work on the assignment and all without any of them having to ask for it. As if they were two gears that made a well-oiled machine move constantly and smoothly.
And in the meanwhile Jimin could tell she was starting to soften up, just a bit. Enough to say yes to a suggestion that she would’ve immediately shut down if it had been 1.5 weeks ago.
“Okay so my teacher is sick, which means I don’t have to travel to uni this Wednesday and Thursday. So what do you think about working on the assignment at my place?”
“Your place”, Jimin repeated somewhat monotonely.
“Yeah, it’s close to uni anyways! And as a bonus, I will cook some kimchi fried rice for us for lunch. I’m pretty good at it”, Aeri replied as she sucked on the mint in her mouth.
“I’ll be the judge of that”, Jimin said before she realized what exactly she had accepted.
Aeri’s eyes grew bigger, and Jimin could practically see them glow from excitement. It made the corner of her mouth twitch a little upwards (but just for a millisecond).
Jimin fixated her gaze on the laptop screen, suddenly wanting to avoid making eye contact with Aeri.
“I won’t disappoint you”, the blonde grinned.
And you see, Jimin believed her immediately.
Because in these past 1.5 weeks, Aeri had been full of surprises, none of which were bad. She had turned out to be quite the reliable and responsible teammate, always having stuck to the deadlines Jimin had put down and always showing up on time. Showing up in general. Sharing the workload fairly and delivering quality. All while wearing that same relaxed and warm smile on her face and keeping her quite easygoing energy.
Rather than disliking her, Jimin had come to tolerate her more. Or apparently enough to accept an invitation to her house without a second thought.
“Okay then”, Aeri got up from her chair and threw her backpack over her shoulders, “I’ll see you tomorrow at my house at 10:00.”
“Don’t forget to text me the address."
“Will do!”
And as she heard Aeri’s footsteps become softer, Jimin teared her gaze off of the screen to look at her. To watch as she walked through the library’s hallway, and observe how her blonde hair cascaded down to her waist and how she slightly swayed her hips with each step she took. Even the way Aeri stood still waiting for the elevator was enough to not only catch Jimin’s attention but also that of some other students who were either engaged in conversations with each other, studying or waiting for the elevator as well. Jimin certainly wasn’t blind to how others looked at Aeri, especially now. And for some reason it had started to make her feel uneasy.
Eventually Aeri got into the elevator, disappearing from Jimin’s line of sight. And yet she kept looking in that direction. Waiting for something. But as to what that something was, Jimin didn’t know. All she knew is that she felt growing disappointment settle in her stomach.
“Ugh”, Jimin groaned as she turned to look at her screen, her reflection on the black surface staring back at her, “so annoying…”
It was truly no secret that Jimin was pretty quick to assume things when it came to Uchinaga Aeri. Even after the time they had spent together, she still had a certain perception of her that wouldn’t disappear that easily. Which is why she, once again, was proven to be wrong.
“Wow, no cigarette smell. How surprising. It actually smells really good in here.”
Aeri playfully rolled her eyes and then gestured to Jimin to follow her.
“Come, let’s go to my room.”
Jimin stopped in her tracks at the information.
“Your room?”, she asked, her voice coming out more highly pitched than she had wanted to.
Aeri leaned against the doorframe of her bedroom with a lopsided grin on her face. Her bangs rested messily against her forehead and one of the straps of her black and tight tank top threatened to slowly fall down her shoulder. Jimin felt her heartbeat’s rhythm change slightly at the sight. It made her feel somewhat restless.
“Well yeah, as you can see, my place is very small. There is only a kitchen, bathroom and bedroom. Which means my bedroom is the only place where we can do the assignment.”
“I suppose you’re right”, Jimin mumbled, earning a chuckle from the blonde.
“Come on, hurry up. We got some work to do”, Aeri winked before turning around and entering the room. Jimin suddenly felt heat spread over her face.
She hated it.
Something in her was changing and she wasn’t a fan of it. At all.
Her dislike changing into something more neutral? More tolerable? Maybe even a mild liking? Fine. That she could accept.
After all, she was starting to forget why she disliked the blonde in the first place, especially with all her assumptions having been violently shut down in such a short time.
But something more than that?
It made Jimin feel like she was slowly losing her sanity.
Who in their right mind would start falling for someone they previously disliked so much? Certainly not a normal person. Right?
And yet Jimin wasn’t blind to it. She had noticed how she had started to look at Aeri for a few seconds longer than usual, than needed. Even when the blonde wasn’t looking back. She was aware of how sometimes her heart would skip a beat when Aeri did something as simple as tug her hair behind her ear, or rest her face in her palm, or slightly tilt her head with an attentive look in her dark brown eyes whenever Jimin said something important.
Fine.
Aeri was pretty. She was really, really pretty.
And maybe Minjeong had been right all along. Maybe it was true that Jimin was attracted to her.
But there was nothing wrong with that right? It was just something physical, nothing more.
At least that’s what Jimin told herself. And she truly did believe it. It was what made the most sense.
Nothing emotional. Just physical. Objective. Factual. This was fine. She could deal with that. Not a problem. No stress.
Except for the tiny little fact that she felt like her body was going to explode from the sudden rush of blood streaming to her head when she saw Aeri casually sit on the bed, her back against the wall, wearing that infamous teasing smile on her face as she patted the spot next to her. As if she was reading Jimin like an open book, though she didn’t utter a word about it.
Jimin walked towards the bed and sat on it, feeling the weight of the mattress dipping down. She tossed her backpack next to her and grabbed her laptop. Smoothly, casually. Wordlessly. Pretending like she wasn’t on the verge of a cardiac arrest. And like she wasn’t in tune with every movement Aeri made.
“Bluetooth mode.”
Jimin raised her eyebrow, confused by the sudden robotic voice breaking the silence in the room. Aeri pointed at the dark brown radio sitting on her desk.
“My friend Yizhuo got this for me when she went to visit her family in Harbin. It’s cute right? I can connect it to my phone and play whatever music I feel like listening to.”
Jimin briefly thought about Yizhuo who wore eyeliner like it was a weapon, owned about twenty leather jackets and whose movements, words and aura in general often carried a certain type of sass about them. Naturally, a lot of students seemed to be intimidated by her. Not Jimin though. The only reason she stayed out of her way was because she seemed like the type to give her a massive headache. Just like the rest of Aeri’s friend group in general.
Besides, the dislike seemed to be mutual with the way Yizhuo and Jimin would sometimes glare at each other when their gazes met in class or on the hallway.
“What kind of music do you like?”, Aeri asked as she scrolled through Spotify playlists on her laptop.
“I like r&b and jazz. Like the Chet Baker type.”
“Oeh, Chet Baker is a classic”, Aeri nodded, “that’s actually perfect background music.”
The first notes of I Fall In Love Too Easily played from the small radio, immediately turning the atmosphere into something soothing and gentle. And coincidentally, it happened to be Jimin’s favorite Chet Baker song.
“Such a good song, I think it’s originally sung by Frank Sinatra.”
Jimin blinked.
“Yeah, it is. I’m surprised you know.”
Aeri shrugged, before opening the word document they were working on.
“I listen to a bunch of genres.”
Jimin mouthed a silent ‘ah’ as she processed yet another piece of new and unexpected information. It started to dawn upon her that they matched in ways she had never foreseen, and that some of their differences were not as big as she had first anticipated.
After a few hours had passed without Aeri having left the house to do what she usually did when they had class, Jimin couldn’t help but give in to her curiosity.
“Don’t you have to take, like, a smoke break or something?”
Aeri looked up from her screen, a tiny smile forming on her lips.
“A smoke break?”
“Well yeah? When we have classes you and your friends are always going outside to smoke during every break. And you always reek of that stuff so…”
Aeri let out a breathy laugh to which Jimin raised her eyebrow.
“What’s so funny?”
The blonde leaned with her back against the wall, her laptop slightly sliding down her crossed legs.
“It’s just kind of amusing how you’re one of the smartest people I know and yet so oblivious sometimes.”
“Now what’s that supposed to mean?”, Jimin said in a somewhat defensive tone.
“Jimin, I don’t smoke.”
“Huh?”, that came out louder than Jimin intended but she couldn’t help it as this was probably the most shocking piece of information about Aeri so far, “what do you mean you don’t smoke? You often smell like cigarettes. You always go outside with your friends for smoke breaks!”
“But have you ever actually seen me smoke?”
Jimin opened her mouth to argue only to think of all those times when she had walked past Aeri and her friends outside. And at that moment she realized that she did, in fact, not have a single memory of Aeri smoking. Or even holding a cigarette.
“I… have not actually.”
Aeri chuckled. Very amused. And also unsurprised. Like she had expected this.
“My friends smoke, yes. But I don’t. I have tried it once, though. I don’t recommend it. I absolutely hated how it tasted and I almost died coughing. I just join my friends for the vibes. To be with them. Otherwise I would have to sit alone in class during breaks and that’s way too boring! But… I did hear that your lungs get damaged more quickly when you’re breathing in smoke as a non-smoker, so maybe I should start doing that less.”
Aeri lifted up her arms to stretch a little. She had been in the same position for too long, so it was natural for her to feel a bit sore by now. Jimin tried not to look at the sliver of bare skin as her tank top moved up slightly.
“I told you that my breath didn’t smell, you just didn’t want to listen”, she smirked.
Jimin thought back to the first day when she made Aeri take mints, saying that she had a bad breath. It had just been an assumption. Another wrong one.
If the earth swallowed her whole right now, she wouldn’t complain.
“Speaking of which, do you have mints on you? I’m kind of addicted to that now”, she said, opening up her hand and waiting to receive a mint.
Jimin blinked a few times and then silently grabbed her backpack, pulling out the familiar blue pack that she carried with her everyday.
And as she watched Aeri pop a mint in her mouth, she wondered what other surprises the punishing universe had in store for her.
It was now Thursday which meant that Jimin and Aeri were at the latter’s place again, diligently working on their assignment.
Or well that had been the plan, except for the fact that Jimin’s focus was deteriorating.
She kept glancing at Aeri who was typing away on her laptop while lying down in bed with a focused look on her face.
Or so she thought.
“Are you enjoying the view?”
Jimin felt her face burn up, as if she had been caught in the act… whatever the act was.
“I was not staring!”, Jimin exclaimed a little bit too defensively.
“I never said anything about staring though”, Aeri smirked slightly (Jimin wanted nothing more than to wipe it off her face), her eyes still fixated on the screen in front of her, “but you were looking, weren’t you?”
“Well, it’s just that-”
“Hmmm?”, Aeri hummed teasingly, her smirk never faltering. Jimin thought the wall was looking really headbangable right now.
“Is it true that you have an inner lip tattoo?”, Jimin blurted out.
Aeri raised her eyebrows at the question and it almost made Jimin regret having asked about it so suddenly. Unfortunately she did have the habit of often speaking before thinking. But her curiosity was just too strong.
Aeri put her laptop aside and turned to lie down on her side, supporting her head with her right hand while resting left arm on the mattress. The right corner of her mouth curved up slightly.
In the meanwhile Jimin was putting in all her mental effort to not let her gaze travel over the curve of Aeri’s waist (why on earth was she even lying down like that? It was like her purpose in life was to torment Jimin).
“Where did you hear about that?”
“Well…”, Jimin rubbed the back of her neck, realizing that she was coming across as someone who sticks her nose into other people’s business, “I overheard you telling your friends that you had one. It was a while ago.”
“Wow, for someone who claims to hate me, you sure do pay a lot of attention to me”
“It’s not my fault that you’re so damn loud!”, Jimin answered. Once again a little too quickly. And she knew it. And probably so did Aeri.
“Okay okay, I’ll pretend I believe that”, Aeri said in an almost singing tone.
Jimin let out a frustrated sigh and turned to her laptop to continue the assignment. Except her fingers didn’t move but kept still on the keyboard. Her curiosity was unfortunately still not satisfied.
“Can I see it?”
Aeri’s eyebrows raised again.
“See what?”
“Your tattoo, obviously. What else have we been talking about?”, Jimin rolled her eyes.
“I don’t have it anymore.”
This time Jimin was the one who was surprised.
“Did you remove it?”
“No, it faded away. I have this habit of licking my lips so it didn’t take long for it to disappear… well, mostly.”
“Ah yeah, I did notice that”, Jimin said, mentally slapping herself for basically admitting out loud that she had, in fact, paid that close attention to Aeri.
“Don’t you know that’s how your lips get chapped?”, she quickly added in a scolding tone in an attempt to shift the attention away from her hidden confession.
Aeri looked at her in silence for a few seconds. Jimin couldn’t read her gaze. She felt herself fidget, lightly tapping her fingertips on the keyboard.
“Yeah, I’ve been trying to stop doing that, but it’s hard. Guess I just have to rely on lip balm to save me”, she joked.
Jimin didn’t know if she was grateful for Aeri’s lack of usual teasing or concerned. Especially after that moment of brief silence.
“Do you want to see where it was?”
Jimin’s fingers immediately stopped moving. She didn’t even have time to reply as Aeri got up and closed the distance between them so quickly that she barely had any time to register it.
Jimin’s heart slammed against her chest at the sudden proximity.
Aeri briefly licked her lips, adding a quick but soft bite to it (Jimin couldn’t tell if this was her habit or if she was doing it on purpose), before gently pulling down her lower lip.
Jimin noted a few faint traces of black ink on the inner side. It was unreadable and almost entirely gone, right on track with Aeri’s story.
“Oh, it really did fade”, Jimin said, her voice just above a whisper. It felt like she could barely breathe.
Aeri let go of her lower lip and flashed a soft but teasing smile that Jimin would normally find irritating (well it still was a bit annoying) but now just made her heartbeat sound louder in her ears.
“Told you it did.”
Jimin gulped. Her throat felt very dry, as if she hadn’t drank anything in weeks (she had literally taken a few sips of water 15 minutes ago).
“Did it hurt? To get it done?”
“Hmm…”, Aeri pouted slightly. Before she could stop herself, Jimin’s gaze fell on her lips again. For someone who had such a bad habit, Aeri’s lips did not show a single sign of being dry nor of having any cracks in them. Instead they looked soft, smooth and full.
For a split second, Jimin wondered how Aeri’s lips would feel against hers.
“It was quite painful but more itchy? A lot of people told me it’s painful as hell, though. I guess I got a higher pain tolerance than I thought.”
“Just thinking about the pain, I could never do it. My friend Minjeong also has a tattoo on her arm, and she said it was painful too. It sends chills down my spine, my pain tolerance is way too low for that.”
“Well hey, at least fake tattoo stickers exist right?”, Aeri chuckled.
“True, I’ve seen nice ones”, Jimin looked at the black screen of her laptop, deciding on whether she should ask the next question that was jumping around in her head. In the end, her curiosity won. Again.
“What kind of tattoo was it? Like, what did you get tattooed there?”
Aeri’s wide smile changed into something softer, more quiet. And for a moment, she looked away. Jimin wondered what was going through her mind. And if maybe she shouldn’t have asked this.
After a minute or so of silence, Aeri finally looked back at Jimin. The usual teasing and twinkling look in her eyes had been replaced by something that Jimin again couldn’t read. But it felt more vulnerable and careful.
“Ikiro.”
Jimin slightly tilted her head and frowned her eyebrows.
“Is that Japanese?”
Aeri nodded.
“Yep. It means live, or be alive. That type of feeling.”
Jimin immediately sensed the heaviness behind those words, behind that meaning. And for once, she didn’t ask any more questions. Even though she was curious, this felt like something so personal and private that she didn’t want to overstep the boundaries.
And yet, to her surprise, Aeri continued talking as she looked away once again.
“Years ago when people asked me things about my future… things like what would you tell your future self? Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? When they asked me those things, I always wondered if I would still be alive. Because some part of me thought I wouldn’t be. So I always wanted to ask my future self if I was still alive.”
Jimin felt her heart drop down to her stomach. But she didn’t show it. All she wanted to do is listen carefully. Not jump to conclusions like she always did, but truly listen. She wanted Aeri to know that.
“Whenever I thought about the future, nothing came up. It was always empty. As if there wasn’t really a future for me”, Aeri let out a soft sigh and then smiled, “but then one day I woke up and suddenly I really wanted to live. Despite all the bad things, I really genuinely wanted to live. I wanted to feel alive. So I got that tattoo, as a reminder to myself to keep going. To make the most out of everyday and feel alive as much as I could. I wanted to have it tattooed somewhere nobody else could see or know about it, except for me. So, I went for an inner lip tattoo.”
Aeri finally looked up, the twinkle in her eyes was back but this time it lacked a wall.
“Now when I think about the future, I can picture my future self. My older me. I don’t have plans for it, I don’t know where I will be. But at least I can picture myself alive, and with a smile on my face. And even though the tattoo has faded, I still think about it almost every day. So I guess it was a good decision to get it”, she let out a soft laugh.
Jimin really wanted to say something. Something along the lines of ‘I’m happy for you’ or even ‘that’s really nice’. At this point anything would do, even if it came out awkwardly.
But the information had been so unexpected that Jimin couldn’t get herself to speak. And apparently the shock was visible.
“You are surprised, right?”, Aeri asked with a somewhat teasing tone, “I bet you expected me to tattoo something like ‘bad bitch’ huh?”
“Well… yes.”
“Ah Jimin, you’re so honest that it’s funny at this point”, Aeri chuckled as she moved away to lie down on her stomach again with her laptop in front of her, just like before.
Jimin felt a wave of guilt wash over her.
All this time she had judged her, made things up about her, jumped to conclusions based on a few interactions and observations, never given her a chance until the universe had basically forced them together.
And had forced her to see how wrong she was. And how judgemental she actually is, despite having denied this.
It made her feel guilty and quite a bit ashamed of herself.
“Hey, don’t worry about it, okay? I’m used to it”, Aeri again seemed to be able to read her like an open book, “besides, you’re warming up a little to me now! You know, instead of hoping I spontaneously burst into flames.”
Despite Aeri’s attempt at making the mood lighthearted, Jimin couldn’t shake off the feeling of guilt so easily.
“I’m sorry.”
“Jimin, I told you to not worry abo-”
“But I want to apologize. I have to. I judged you and was unfairly harsh to you, even though you are just trying to live your life. You kept being nice to me and I just made things hard for you. I was an asshole for that. I’m really sorry.”
“Hm yeah, not gonna lie, you were a bit of an asshole, but…”, Aeri smiled, “at least you weren’t fake about it. Most people are pretty judgemental behind your back but act like they are so kind and open-minded to your face. I got used to most of it though and I try to ignore it.”
Aeri looked at her black laptop screen like her thoughts were written on it.
“But you have never pretended. You’re probably the most honest person I know, even though you’re a bit harsh sometimes. What you see is what you get. That’s the type of person you are. And it’s nice. It’s safe. Cause I know that with you I don’t have to try to read your mind or look for hints of pretence. You’re quite an open book. And that is one of the reasons why I like you.”
And just like that, Jimin suddenly felt like she was the one bursting into flames.
She raised her hand to her face as she felt it heat up and turned away towards her laptop, hoping Aeri wouldn’t see that she was probably as red as a tomato.
She likes me? What does that even mean?? Is it in a friendly way? Why am I even feeling like this? I need to get it together.
Jimin didn’t answer. She couldn’t. Didn’t even know what to say, what to think, what to feel. Her brain felt like scrambled eggs.
Aeri didn’t say anything else either, typing away on her keyboard with uttermost concentration. And Jimin was thankful for that. Both because she didn’t have the ability to continue talking right now and also because her mind was such a mess that she could not focus on the assignment, even if she tried.
After one hour of staring at her screen without any additional words being added to the assignment, Jimin decided it was best for her to go home (she could’ve sworn she saw a flash of disappointment on Aeri’s face when she told her that).
And to make matters a little bit worse, their goodbyes had felt pretty awkward. To Jimin at least, because she had no idea what to do. Wave? Give a hug? Just dryly say goodbye like she always did before?
Because even though they still weren’t exactly friends, things weren't like they used to be.
There had been a lack of usual harsh banter from Jimin’s side. She had even grown to actually care about Aeri enough to even feel guilty and apologize. And Aeri had told her something very personal about herself. The way she had spoken about it made Jimin believe that it wasn’t something many people knew about Aeri.
And of course on top of all that, Aeri had told Jimin that she liked her. Those words kept running through Jimin’s mind like a broken record.
Even though a tiny voice in her head had kept telling her to go for a hug, in the end Jimin opted for a “see you tomorrow” and a wave. Still pretty dry, but less than usual.
Aeri had told her the same, except with a warmer smile on her face and with her head leaning against the doorframe (which had totally not made Jimin’s heart skip a little beat).
And now here she was. At the bus stop. Staring at the rain dropping down from the dark sky like a waterfall. Cursing herself for not having brought an umbrella even though this was one of the rainiest months of the year.
Just the thought of having to possibly walk in this rain for 10 minutes made her shiver. One of the things she hated the most in the world was feeling raindrops fall on her head.
She sighed and then looked in the direction where the bus would be coming from.
Except a silhouette in the near distance caught her eye instead. Especially because it looked very familiar.
Aeri walked through the rain with a hand in the pocket of her black hoodie while holding a black umbrella in the other. The darkness of her clothes and her umbrella against the bright white lights of the lamp posts gave the sight an ethereal feeling. Almost as if there was a halo surrounding her.
Jimin couldn’t look away.
“I saw the rain and realized you didn’t bring an umbrella. I remembered that you have to walk for a bit, so I brought you one”, Aeri casually said while closing the umbrella. She stretched out her arm while holding it.
“Here”, she smiled.
“But don’t you need it for yourself?”, Jimin noted how Aeri didn’t bring a second umbrella with her. This must have been the only one she owned.
“It’s fine, you know the bus stop is only 5 minutes walking. And even less if I run.”
“Still I can’t take this. You’ll get wet, don’t you see how hard it’s raining?”
Aeri grabbed her hand and pressed the umbrella against it. Once again she felt her face burn more strongly than the fiery pits of hell.
“Don’t worry, I'll be fine!”
Before Jimin could even attempt to push the umbrella back into Aeri’s hands, the latter had already taken a few steps back.
“Besides, I got my trusted hoodie to protect me”, Aeri said as she pulled the hood over her head, “just give it back to me tomorrow or when you don’t need it anymore, okay?”
And just like that she spun around on her heel and started sprinting in the direction of her house, disappearing from Jimin’s sight when she reached a corner.
“Thank you…”, Jimin whispered, still feeling bewildered by whatever had just happened.
She looked at the umbrella in her hand, and gently traced it until the bus arrived, unaware of the smile that had crept up on her face.
“Okay, what the hell was that?”
Jimin should've known better than to have done what she did when Minjeong was walking next to her.
And what she did was simply wave at Aeri, mouthing a quiet ‘hey’ when they had walked past her and her friends outside, right before entering the building. The surprised look on Yizhuo’s face hadn’t gone unnoticed by her either.
“It was me saying hello”, Jimin simply stated, trying to sound as neutral as possible while ignoring the rapid beating of her heart. As if she was close to getting caught.
“And since when did you start saying hello to your archenemy?”
“Okay first of all, she is not my archenemy. Second, we are literally working on an assignment together. Why wouldn’t I acknowledge her existence?”
Minjeong raised her eyebrow.
“You literally kept ignoring her during the first week.”
“And now I stopped doing that.”
Minjeong quickened her pace and grabbed Jimin’s shoulder to stop her from walking away. She looked her straight in the eyes, and suddenly Jimin felt like disappearing into thin air.
“Oh my god, you’re warming up to her. I can’t believe it. What happened? What made you change your mind?”
Jimin started tapping her foot on the floor both out of impatience and nervousness.
“Maybe I was wrong… about certain things. And maybe I realized that I am a bit too judgemental”, she muttered.
Minjeong’s eyes were sparkling. Both from excitement and mischief.
“She really got you to change her mind about her… you, one of the most stubborn people ever. Yeah, I can already hear the wedding bells.”
Jimin suddenly felt like her body and especially face were on fire. Rather than the heat creeping up, it looked like someone had splashed a bucket of lava over her.
“What… what the hell are you even saying? I don’t like her that way. I just think she’s really pretty but-”
Minjeong’s eyes widened so much that it looked cartoonish.
“Oh. My. God. So I was right… you do have the hots for her. I can’t believe this.”
“I do not have the hots for her.”
“Oh yeah? Then why are you blushing like crazy right now? Like you got caught.”
Jimin opened and closed her mouth like a fish. She was starting to run out of arguments. And everything was starting to feel overwhelming.
“Okay, you know what? I have to go to class, so I’m just gonna go.”
But Minjeong wasn’t going to let her off that easily.
“No, no. You still have 10 long minutes before it starts. Now tell me, since when have you thought she was attractive? Give me all the details.”
Jimin sighed.
“I have always thought she was pretty. Why is this such a big deal?”
“Because it’s not just about her being pretty. You are obviously attracted to her and I need to know how that happened!”
“I’m no-”
“Jimin, you are an awful liar”, Minjeong immediately interrupted.
Jimin bit her lip. She was right. Lying was probably the one thing she couldn’t do. It was exhausting and she was horrible at it. She was already feeling drained by it and this conversation had barely hit the 5 minute mark.
She sighed once again, this time more deeply.
“Okay, fine. I realized it when I was at her house and-”
Minjeong gasped.
“You were at her house? And you didn’t bother to tell me?”
“Because I knew you would be annoying about it”, Jimin shot her a glare.
Minjeong nodded.
“Yeah, fair enough. Continue.”
“I was at her house and there was this… one moment when she was leaning against the doorframe and… looked a little too good doing it.”
Jimin could tell that Minjeong was trying not to squeal.
“So… you got paired up with Aeri, who you disliked more than cilantro, and after two weeks you not only warmed up to her, but also started to feel attracted to her. Oh this is too good. I ship it. It’s a good enemies-to-lovers story! Well, except that the hate was one-sided, but still.”
“We are not going to date.”
Minjeong chuckled.
“Sure you aren’t”, she said this somehow ominously. As if she knew something that Jimin didn’t.
She decided to ignore it.
“I’m going to class. And don’t stop me”, Jimin shot her another glare as she walked past her.
“I’ll see you later! And try not to daydream about Aeri too much!”
Jimin was sure Minjeong had said that on purpose to jinx her. To curse her.
Cause Aeri was all she could think about as she tried to pay attention in class, replaying the events of the past two weeks over and over again. Especially those at her place. That one rainy day.
Jimin started to look forward to seeing her at the class that they shared together.
—--------------------------------------------
It was now the third week. Jimin kept greeting Aeri whenever they came across each other at school. And as for the assignment, they had permanently ditched the library in favor of working on it at Aeri’s place since it was very close to university anyways.
Slowly Jimin started to feel comfortable staying there. To the point of even taking turns cooking for lunch, much to Aeri’s surprise. Jimin had argued it was only fair for them to share all tasks (she ignored the butterflies in her stomach when she realized how domestic it all had started to look).
And yet, despite it all, nobody had been prepared for Jimin to willingly sit down next to Aeri in class. Not even Jimin herself. But before she knew, her feet had brought her to the empty chair on the blonde’s right side. On her left side, Yizhuo wordlessly raised her eyebrow in surprise, her gaze shifting back and forth between Jimin and Aeri as Jimin tried her best to pretend she didn’t see it.
“Oh, good morning”, Aeri said, surprised written all over her face.
Jimin greeted her with a nod, well-aware of the eyes on her. For some reason, it felt like she had just opened Pandora’s box.
And like on other days, it was hard for Jimin to focus. Even more now that Aeri was sitting right next to her. Jimin was hyperaware of every movement she made and every word she said, whether to her or Yizhuo.
During their 15 minute break, Aeri didn’t join her friends for their smoke break.
“You’re not joining them?”, Jimin frowned.
Aeri pouted as she shook her head.
“No, I wanted to stay with you”, she replied. So casually. As if it was just another fact, like water being wet or ice being cold. And entirely unaware of how those few words made Jimin’s heart flutter. And how those same words would pop up in her mind countless times as she stared at her ceiling in bed that night.
A few days later, Jimin sat down on the same chair. Aeri was surprisingly not there yet, which meant there was an unoccupied seat between her and Yizhuo.
“She’s not coming today”, Yizhuo said without looking up from her phone.
“And why not?”
“She’s sick.”
Jimin couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed at how Aeri hadn’t at least sent her a text about it. But then again, it’s not like they were that close. After all, the most they interacted was when they worked on the assignment together. It made more sense for Aeri to inform her actual friends who she talked to all the time.
Jimin briefly wondered if they would keep talking to each other once the assignment was finished.
She hoped they would.
“Fever?”
“Headache and a cold.”
Jimin nodded slowly and silently. She then grabbed her backpack and took out her notebook.
“So, when are you going to offer me a mint?”
She immediately looked up at Yizhuo who met her gaze with a deadly glare, despite the smile on her face.
“Aeri told you about that?”
“Yeah, she thought it was a funny story,” Yizhuo rested her chin in her hand, her gaze still as intense, “but I didn’t.”
Jimin didn’t look away. She did not feel intimidated, despite the tension. But she did feel a pang of guilt in her chest.
“I don’t like you. But I guess that’s not much of a surprise, it’s not like I really hid it. And I know you don’t like me either.”
She was right. It wasn’t a surprise. And Jimin didn’t care. Or well, she used to not care.
That is until things had started changing. She had started changing.
“You’re exactly the type of person I don’t like. Judgemental, close-minded, acting like you’re above everybody else. Honestly, the only thing I respect about you is that you are at least upfront about it. You don’t pretend to like someone that you actually dislike. So hey, at least I can appreciate that trait of yours.”
Jimin didn’t answer. She knew Yizhuo was right. And yet her words did sting, because the truth does hurt even when you’re aware of it. Especially if it’s a truth that you don’t like. And even more if it’s the truth about you.
“I don’t know what Aeri sees in you. Sometimes I really don’t get her. But I hope that she’s right about whatever it is that she sees. Because if you hurt her, I will hunt you down.”
Jimin stayed silent as Yizhuo looked back at her phone. Thinking about what to say. Thinking about how apparently Aeri saw something in her, and thinking about what that could mean.
“I don’t dislike you.”
Yizhuo looked up from her phone, her face lacking an expression and her eyes lacking any trace of emotion. If she was surprised by Jimin’s words, then she was very good at hiding it.
“At least not anymore. Right now, I feel neutral about you as a person. And you’re right. I am judgemental and close-minded. I realized that recently.”
Jimin made sure to hold Yizhuo’s gaze with that of her own, so that she knew that she meant every word.
“I won’t hurt her.”
They stared at each other in silence for a few seconds. The teacher walked into the classroom and announced that class would start soon. Yizhuo broke eye contact to look at her phone.
“Sit next to me.”
Jimin raised her eyebrows at the unexpected request. But she didn’t question it. Instead, she got up and moved her stuff to the table on her left. She then sat down on the chair next to Yizhuo.
“And give me a mint”, Yizhuo said, holding out her hand without looking at Jimin, “I really want to chew on something right now.”
Jimin didn’t know why she was feeling this nervous. It wasn’t even a big deal.
It was just a friend bringing her sick friend some rice porridge to make her feel better (wait, could they even be considered as friends?).
She shook her head in an attempt to get rid of those thoughts.
“Get it together Yu Jimin, ugh seriously…”, she sighed.
She held her breath before ringing the bell. It didn’t take long before she heard the door get unlocked.
“Jimin? What are you doing here?”, Aeri sniffled as she wrapped the blanket around her tightly because of the cold wind. Her hair was tied up in a messy bun, her nose was slightly red and the bags underneath her eyes were a bit swollen.
“Yizhuo told me you were sick”, Jimin stiffly held up the bag towards Aeri, “so I brought you rice porridge.”
Surprise was painted all over Aeri’s face. Jimin tried to not show any emotion at all, as if this was completely casual and not that much of a big deal.
She carefully grabbed the handles of the bag.
“Thank you… I… I really appreciate it”, Aeri said softly.
Jimin cleared her throat and then slowly stepped away.
“Well, I hope you feel better. Rest a lot. And don’t worry about the assignment, I’ll work on that.”
“I can work on it too, it’s not really not a big deal.”
“No. The only thing you need to do is rest. I will work on it. There is not much left and we still have time anyways”, Jimin replied. Her tone was firm and she was clearly not open to discussions.
Eventually Aeri gave in.
“Okay, I will. Thank you. I really mean it”, Aeri said as she sniffled right after. Jimin mentally slapped herself for thinking it was cute.
“Well, I’ll be going now. Get well soon.”
Aeri smiled softly and waved, her hand sticking out from under the blanket.
Jimin nodded and turned around.
“By the way. I would like it if we spoke comfortably to each other. If you want of course”, Jimin didn’t mean for her voice to slightly waver with that last phrase, but it couldn’t be helped.
She was a bit nervous about it. Even though Aeri had been one to suggest it during the first time they met up, Jimin still feared the rejection. She wouldn’t have blamed her for it though.
“I would love to, Jimin-ah.”
She didn’t need to look at Aeri to know that the latter was smiling. She could hear it in her voice.
Jimin waved again as she walked away, not turning back. Mostly to not show the big smile that had also grown on her own face.
The fourth and final week arrived and they only had to finish writing the conclusion and the introduction to their assignment. It only needed a few tweaks and then they would be able to hand it in and finally be free from this burden (until they got their grade back that is).
And as usual, they were sitting on Aeri’s bed, silence only broken by the typing sounds on the keyboard and the soft jazz music playing on the radio.
“Okay, I’m done with the conclusion”, Jimin said, nodding to herself in satisfaction. She was sure that they would have to barely change it.
“I’m also almost done with the introduction. Just need to figure out how to say this in like 3 sentences”, Aeri said, frowning in concentration.
“Do you want me to help?”, Jimin put her laptop aside.
“No, it’s fine. I got this”, Aeri looked at her to throw a quick smile. Jimin couldn’t help but smile back.
She held her legs against her chest and rested her chin on top of her knees as she watched Aeri, who was looking at her screen with a focused pout. Her blonde hair was tied in a low ponytail and a strand hung on the side of her face. Jimin suddenly felt the urge to tuck it behind her ear.
If four weeks ago, you had told Jimin that she would end up falling for Aeri, she would not have even laughed in your face. No. She would’ve immediately called the psych ward to come and pick up their patient. Cause in no existing reality would she ever like her in any way. That is what Jimin back then would’ve thought.
Current Jimin however?
Well, she couldn’t have been happier that the universe had brought them together, even if the start was rough. And it had taught her a lot.
“Okay, I’m done!”, Aeri threw up her arms in celebration.
Jimin quietly smiled at the blonde’s excitement.
“And 3 days before the deadline, we are so good”, Aeri grinned as she looked at Jimin, “see? We were a good team after all!”
“We really are”, Jimin replied softly, her smile never faltering and her eyes never leaving her. And Aeri noticed it.
“Are you enjoying the view?”, the blonde jokingly winked. Jimin thought back to when she had made the same joke a few weeks ago. Back then she had immediately denied it. But right now? She didn’t feel like running away any longer. Besides, honesty was one of her strengths after all.
“I am.”
Aeri’s eyes widened. She was clearly not expecting that answer. Jimin couldn’t help but chuckle when she saw the blush creep up on her cheeks.
“You’re really pretty.”
This made Aeri feel even more flustered. She sat up on the bed as her hands looked for something to fidget with.
“Okay wow, where is this suddenly coming from?”, she laughed.
“It’s not sudden. I’ve always thought you were pretty, even when I used to dislike you.”
“Oh, so you mean to tell me that you actually like me now?”, Aeri wiggled her eyebrows in an attempt at another joke.
“I do. A lot.”
“Well, glad we got past your anti-me era. It was a bit rough”, the blonde joked again.
“I’m happy too. I mean that”, Jimin made sure to never break eye contact. She wanted Aeri to know that she meant every word she had said.
The blonde, however, was the one to tear gaze away to look at her laptop screen. Jimin thought it was cute that she was being the flustered one for once. She could get used to teasing her like this.
“Hey, since we are done…do you want to stay here for a bit longer? Maybe watch a movie together?”
Jimin nodded.
“Sounds good.”
“What kind of movies do you like?”
“I love animation. Disney movies, Ghibli movies, anime in general. Things like that.”
“Wow, who would’ve thought that Yu Jimin would love fun movies?”, Aeri chuckled.
This time Jimin was the one to sit up straight, feeling defensive at those words.
“Hey, I’m not that serious!”
“Oh come on, you can’t blame me for thinking that! You’re the one who was always so serious when we were doing the assignment stuff. Even in class you’re always so serious!”
Jimin pouted.
“That’s because you have only seen me in school settings! Outside of that I can have fun!”
“If you say sooo”, Aeri was clearly enjoying this reverse teasing.
“It’s true and I’ll prove it to you! Go on a date with me!”, Jimin blurted out.
“Huh?”, Aeri’s mouth dropped open, “Wait, are you serious?”
“Of course I’m being serious! I told you that I like you a lot, didn’t I?”
“But… but how? You disliked me so much…”, Aeri’s voice dropped down to a whisper. As if she was too scared to believe this.
“I was wrong about you. I was so wrong about you. And the more time I spent with you, the more I started seeing you for who you are. And… I really, really like you”, for the first time Jimin was the one to look away, “but you don’t have to say yes. I would understand if you don’t want to. Especially with how I treated you at the beginning…”
“I like you too.”
Jimin whipped her head so quickly that she swore she had just broken her own neck.
“You like… me?”
“I told you before, didn't I? That I liked you?”
“You did but, it could’ve been just casually. Like a friend or something. Even then I kept wondering in what way you had meant it.”
Aeri looked away again, a shy smile grew on her face.
“Well, I’ve had a crush on you since the first week of the school year so…”
Jimin scratched the back of her head in disbelief.
“But why? I was a jerk. Especially to you.”
Aeri leaned against the wall, holding her legs to her chest with her arms around her knees.
“I mean, I thought you were really pretty. Like not to sound shallow but the first time I saw you I was like ‘holy shit’, you know?”, she let out a soft laugh, “but then I saw how honest you were. I told you before that it was one of the things I liked about you. Sure, sometimes you sounded like a judgemental asshole, but I liked that I didn’t have to second guess. Like I said, with you… what you see is what you get. There are no mental games, no lies, no pretending, no faking. That’s not so common anymore these days.”
She met Jimin’s gaze.
“Besides, I really liked how much of a hard worker you were. I don’t think it’s bad that you are pretty serious. I can be a bit… lazy, too laidback. I honestly thought it was really cool, how ambitious and disciplined you are. And really smart. It’s like you almost always know what to do.”
Jimin felt herself get flustered by all the compliments, heat creeping up from her neck to her face.
“I don’t think you’re lazy. Well, at first I thought you were but you turned out to be really reliable. I liked that surprise. And even though I was hard to deal with, you kept being kind to me. You were always so warm. I guess that made me want to be less cold. And more open to things. Just… more open-minded. You actually taught me things just by being yourself. I don’t know… you just made me want to change for the better?”
Even though she had been honest all this time, this was probably the most unfiltered she had been about her feelings. It made her a bit nervous but it mostly felt right.
“That’s… honestly so cute, I could kiss you right now.”
“W-what?”, Jimin’s eyes widened comically. She could swear that smoke was coming out of her ears, and definitely not from anger.
Aeri threw her head back as she laughed.
“Oh that was a priceless reaction”, she wiped fake tears off, “don’t worry, I was joking. Unless you want to, of course. Then I wouldn’t say no.”
Being the menace that she is, Aeri threw a wink at Jimin, obviously enjoying all her flustered reactions. And just like that Jimin was back to her role as the eternally embarrassed victim.
“L-Let’s just go on that date first okay?”, Jimin then quickly shook her head in panic, “it’s not that I don’t want to kiss but I don’t want to rush anything.”
Aeri smiled gently and her gaze suddenly looked incredibly soft. It made Jimin’s heart do somersaults.
“It’s so cute how you always know what to do, except when it comes to this.”
“Uhm… thanks, I guess?”, Jimin rubbed the back of her head.
“Now let’s go watch a movie. What do you think of Kiki’s Delivery Service?”
“Oh I love that one”, Jimin nodded excitedly.
“Perfect”, Aeri grinned, “scoot over.”
The blonde sat next to her, their backs against the headboard, Aeri’s laptop in front of their feet.
Jimin wondered how much attention she could pay to the movie with Aeri’s arm rubbing against hers. She could practically hear her breathe. The bed was pretty small after all.
The answer was that she barely could. Especially when Aeri fell asleep with her head on Jimin’s shoulder somewhere during the middle of the movie. Jimin made sure to sit as still as she could, not wanting to wake her up.
Eventually she had spent more time looking at her than the screen, and this time Jimin was well-aware of the smile that had formed on her lips.
Yes, if you had told her about this moment four weeks ago, Jimin would’ve definitely gotten you locked up based on accusations of insanity. Probably would’ve thrown a few harsh words towards you on top of it.
Current Jimin, however?
She couldn’t have been more grateful for how things had turned out. She felt happy. The happiest she had felt in quite a while. And she would make sure Aeri was even happier. Cause that’s what she deserved. To live each day with a full heart and to feel alive. To always be able to imagine her future self, smiling back at her, just like she had told her.
And Jimin’s future self would be by her side, smiling back at her too.