Chapter Text
S C E N E 1.
The village of Berk.
Enter Hiccup on balcony.
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Hiccup |
(Speaks to audience.) This bare and hostile spot of land is Berk. It lies a fortnight North of hopelessness And any further up you’d freeze to death. It firmly sits on misery’s twisted arc.
The village from which I originate― To put it briefly: ‘Tis a sturdy place. The Vikings have been here for generations But ev’ry single house we have is new. And while there aren’t many big attractions, There’s Fishing, Hunting, and a lovely view.
The only ever problem are the pests: While flies and bees are terrible companions And mice can put your patience to the test, The thing we’re dealing with on Berk is― |
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Enter Spitelout below on stage, from left.
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Spitelout |
―Dragons! |
Enter Hoark and Burnthair from right, alarmed.
All three exit left, with battle cries.
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Hiccup |
(Continues to audience.) A man in his sane mind would surely leave But our Viking nature makes us stay. In fight, there isn’t much we can achieve, And yet these men fight gladly any day.
(Descends from balcony onto main stage.) My name is Hiccup Haddock― Great, I know. But trust me, it is really far from bad! Strong names can ward off gnomes and trolls, and so There’s many names much worse I could have had. |
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Vikings, including Spitelout, Hoark, and Burnthair, begin to pass from one side to the other, preparing for the fight.
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Hiccup |
Prepare to meet my lovely Viking tribe! This one is Hoark the Haggard― |
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Hoark |
―Get inside! |
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Hiccup |
Burnthair the Broad― |
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Burnthair |
―What are you doing here? |
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Hiccup |
And Spitelout― Well, the names are rather clear. |
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Enter Stoick.
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Stoick |
Hiccup? What jest is this? To me at once! (To Vikings) What is he doing out here in the fight? (To Hiccup) Your place, young boy, is Gobber’s weapon shop! Get back inside this very instant! |
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Hiccup |
―Right! |
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[Exeunt Vikings with battle cries. |
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Hiccup |
Stoick the Vast! Berk’s chief― First warrior, too. It’s said: When he was just an infant boy He killed a beast as if it were his toy― Do I believe that tale? I surely do! |
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Stoick reappears with Spitelout, catching breath.
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Stoick |
Good Spitelout, pray you give me quick report! |
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Spitelout |
‘Tis Gronckles, Nadders, Zipplebacks, and Hoark Did see a Monstrous Nightmare, I am told! |
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Stoick |
Any Night Furies?― |
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Spitelout |
―None!― |
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Stoick |
―Pray stay that so… (Shouting to Vikings offstage.) Now hoist the torches, man the gates anon! To move against these fiends with swift attack Will save our village and protect our kind! |
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[Exeunt Stoick and Spitelout. |
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Enter Gobber on balcony, handing out weapons to Vikings offstage.
Hiccup ascends to join him.
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Gobber |
Ah, Hiccup. Nice of you to join this madness! Methought you had been carried off by one of those beasts! |
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Hiccup |
What, me? You jest! I’m too big for their taste. They know not what to do with all of― this! (Points down at himself.) In truth, with my gigantic power faced The largest beast would come to see its place! |
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Below on stage, enter Stoick and Vikings, passing.
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Spitelout |
Good chief, the grain reserve is under siege― We must retreat and switch to ground defense! |
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Stoick |
Pray, move on to the lower half of town And counter their attack with catapults! |
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[Exeunt Stoick and Vikings. |
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Hiccup |
(Speaking to audience.) I’ll warrant now you understand the meaning Of why we have no single seasoned building! As dragons haunt us almost every night Is tested our vim and Viking might, But when the air with dragons breath is filled And fire spreads, so we’re forced to rebuild. |
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Enter Youngsters from right, pulling a large cart filled with water. They start extinguishing the fires.
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Hiccup |
And these young lads form our fire defence, Although ‘gainst dragons it’s a hopeless task. ‘Tis Snotlout, Spitelout’s son, the Thorston twins, Fishlegs, and that young lady there is― Astrid! (Watches in awe as Astrid returns to the cart to refill.) And while they work, I am in here confined! Their job is truly worth much more than mine… |
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[Exeunt Youngsters with cart. |
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Hiccup |
(Tries to descend to stage, but is held back by Gobber.) Gobber, please! The fight’s about to start! Pray, let me join, I need to make my mark! |
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Gobber |
Oh lad, you have made far enough of those, just all in quite moronic places! If you indeed held any skill at all, I’m sure our chief would let you out to fight. |
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Hiccup |
I beg you, Gobber! If I slay a dragon My life will hence be infinitely better! If even Thorston’s twins can pull that wagon Why won’t you let your youngsters do’t together? |
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Gobber |
Hiccup, you can’t lift a hammer, you can’t swing an axe. Heck, you can’t even throw one of these chains! (Holds up a rope with rocks attached.) |
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Hiccup |
‘Tis true to say my skill with arms is flimsy― (Heaves up a large crossbow-like device, shows it to Gobber.) ―But technical device shall throw it for me! What I may lack in Viking grit I more than make up for in wit! (Device backfires, taking out Vikings offstage.) |
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Gobber |
See, this right here is my entire point. |
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Hiccup |
‘Tis but a slight concern of calibration! With cunning and this powerful contraption I’ll gain at last chief Stoick’s full attention! |
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Gobber |
Hiccup, you are for warrior’s work unfit! If you ever want to get out there and fight dragons, methinks you need to stop with all of― this. (Points down Hiccup’s body.) |
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Hiccup |
But you just pointed well to all of me! |
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Gobber |
That’s right, young lad. Just stop with all of you. |
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Hiccup |
Ohhh, you do tread on dangerous terrain To keep this much raw Viking-ness contained! (Points down at himself.) There will be consequences!― |
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Gobber |
―Hand them to me. At present, your concern should rather be to sharpen all these swords ere sunrise. |
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[Exit Gobber. |
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Hiccup |
I truly wish someday this fight to join― On Berk, to slay those beasts is ev’rything!
A Deadly Nadder head perched on my wall At least would have me noticed by them all. The Gronckles are robust, though hideous― Such price would surely spawn admirers… A Zippleback? Exotic, and exciting― Their double heads would net me twice the liking! And then those fearsome dragons that are Monstrous Nightmare named― A price that ever no-one but the bravest men can claim. It hath the ghastly property to set itself on fire― And anywhere it doth appear the crisis soon is dire! Yet still, the ultimate reward― The dragon none have ever seen: The one that since these fights began has Stoick’s adversary been. I wish one day my price would be The one they call the― |
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Enter Stoick and Vikings on stage, exhausted.
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Spitelout |
―Night Fury! (Explosion nearby.) |
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[Exeunt Stoick and Vikings on opposite side. |
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Hiccup |
This dragon― relentless, effective, and vicious― Never steals, never shows― And it never misses. No-one has ever killed this kind of beast, And that’s why I dream to accomplish it first! (Takes the device and descends to stage.) |
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Enter Vikings, passing.
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Spitelout |
What are you doing, Hiccup?― |
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Hiccup |
―Nothing, Sir! |
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Hoark |
Get back!― |
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Hiccup |
―I won’t be long!― |
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Hoark |
―They need you here! |
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[Exeunt. |
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Stage lighting switches to indicate change of location.
Enter Hiccup on balcony, carrying the device.
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Hiccup |
This meadow plain shall make my shot fly true. Yet night’s so deep, I cannot see a thing! Wait, over there― I spy a sudden fling When dragon’s wing across the starlight flew… If now, by chance that tower burst to flame― Alack, it did! The light shall guide my aim! (Fires the device. Distant shrieking from offstage. Hiccup surprised at first, then runs down to stage, elated.) I did it! Yes! Did anybody witness? |
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Enter Monstrous Nightmare from right.
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Hiccup |
I hoped for Stoick, not your ghastly grimace! Alack, the feat is done, yet now the breath Of this vile beast might be young Hiccup’s death! (Stumbles back to left edge of stage, evading attacks.) |
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Enter Stoick, from left.
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Stoick |
Hiccup? Again at chaos’ very centre? If you survive, I’ll swear you taste my wrath! But first unto another matter, Aye― Thou fiend shalt not today on Viking prey! (Fights the dragon. It breathes fire, but Stoick dodges.) Your fire’s all extinct and empty, Devil! Flee to that evil place from whence you came! (Hits the dragon on the head with his hammer.) |
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[Exit Monstrous Nightmare, fleeing. |
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Silence. Enter Gobber, Vikings and Youngsters.
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Hiccup |
(Speaking to audience.) And there is one more thing you should not miss: That Stoick, Chief of Berk― my father is. |
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(Awkward pause, Stoick panting. All eye Hiccup angrily.) |
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(To Vikings.) I shot the Night Fury― |
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Stoick |
(Embarrassed.) ―Enough of it! |
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Hiccup |
But father, ‘tis unlike the last attempts! This night, while all the town was in the thick I had a shot and took the dragon― |
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Stoick |
―Silence! How come that on the moment thou appearst Disaster is the single thing that follows? Canst thou not see that I have larger needs? When winter comes, all Berk I have to feed! |
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Hiccup |
As son to father, I have to confess: Mayhaps the men could eat a little less― |
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Stoick |
(Enraged.) Tell me, my son: Is this a joke to you? Why canst thou not obey the simplest order? My clear command was that you stay inside, This fragile body from those fiends to hide. |
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Hiccup |
‘Tis in my nature, take it as you will: If I espy a dragon, I must kill! |
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(Pause. Stoick exhausted.) |
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Stoick |
My son, ‘tis true that thou art many things But dragonslayer is not one of them. Return to our home this very instant. (To Gobber.) And Gobber, pray keep eye he does it true. |
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[Vikings and Youngsters begin to exit. |
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Tuffnut |
What a performance!― |
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Ruffnut |
―Truly, it was flawless! |
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Snotlout |
Aye, never hath a Viking caused such multitude of problems! |
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[Exeunt Vikings and Youngsters. Only Hiccup and Gobber remain. |
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Hiccup |
I thank you, fellows! Truly, ‘twas my effort. (Aside.) Though, in my heart I know: I killed the beast! If only I could make my father see That finally I succeeded my endeavour… If I attempt to tell him of my feat He doth not e’en my utterance consider, And no attention pays at all, indeed Because my weakness and my tiny figure! |
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(They ascend to balcony.) |
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Pray tell me, Gobber: Why can he not listen To anything his son hath need to say? Not even doth he any will display To open up and see his son’s position! (Mimicking Stoick.) Excuse me, barmaid, there’s been a mistake, For this is not the kind of son I ordered! A large and beefy offspring was my wish And not a talking fishbone such as this! |
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Gobber |
Methinks you have the wrong approach on this. It’s not so much what you look like, but what’s inside of you that he cannot accept! |
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Hiccup |
…My thanks for this explicit summary. |
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Gobber |
Young lad, the point is: You should stop trying so hard to be a man that you are clearly not! |
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Hiccup |
My only wish is to be one of you― Succeed in but a single Viking task! Such is my aim― Is that too much so ask? |
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[Exit Hiccup from balcony. |
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