Work Text:
I shouldn't be here.
I know that perfectly.
But I have to see him. I have to see him before he’s gone.
This morning, I read an article online. If I remember correctly, it was called: “Light the fireworks and break out the cake; Caped Baldy’s execution happens today!”.
I almost retched at the sight of those cheerful words. How could people - who are so hell-bent on social justice - rejoice at the idea of wiping out the man that has saved them all countless times? They owe him their lowly lives and this is how they repay him? By promising treats and festivals when he passes away? It makes me sick.
As I was walking through the streets, a small group of girls approached me and began screeching. I don’t recall their exact words, as their voices were rather unpleasant, but they uttered something about how they were glad that I wasn’t hanging around Saitama anymore. Honestly, I don’t understand why they were shocked when I shoved them aside and continued moving. Besides, they were in my way and after those words, they were worth less than dirt.
Despite the flood of guards and security cameras, I managed to make it in without being detected.
It was difficult, I won’t lie.
Now, I’m standing in front of a thick, grey door with a multitude of warnings plastered across it. The majority of them screamed danger and for the reader to retreat if they were not a specialised member of staff.
My arms move on their own, reaching out and grasping the rigid handle. It’s cool to the touch.
Without a moment to spare, I heave the door back. It creaks, similar to the sound of our floorboards in the apartment. I have mentioned the issue to him several times but I suppose it’s simply too expensive to renovate.
As I step around the obstacle, Saitama slowly raises his head towards me.
It’s horrible yet so satisfying to see him again.
The dusty bags under his eyes display his fatigue and in all fairness, they match the dull marks lingering beneath my own. My feet drag across the floor as I hurry over to the chair that he’s stiffly seated upon. The sound of the door closing is foreign to my ears, as the only thing I can truly focus on, is the pained look on Saitama’s face.
“Sensei…”
His posture hasn’t changed since I entered. I really want to tell him that if he continues to hunch over, the structure of his spinal cord will alter severely. But I can’t bring myself to do so. Not when those hazel eyes were gazing up at me from under heavy eyelids.
"Genos…You shouldn’t have come."
I know.
But I couldn’t bear the thought of never speaking to you ever again.
“What are you doing here?”
Saitama keeps his eyes trained on me as I kneel by his feet. This way, he will not need to strain his neck by constantly looking up.
“To check up on you, Sensei. How…are you?”
I lean towards him and I feel the aftermath of the small sigh that he puffed out. It feels nice to be so close to him once again. We were apart for approximately 22 days, 19 hours, 28 minutes and 47 seconds. Every moment was agony. I made several trips to Dr Kuseno, where I asked for reasons why I was no longer able to enjoy everyday life. At first, he was confused by my questions and ran countless scans on my body. In the end, there was nothing physically malfunctioning that made me feel that way. I soon realised that it was the lack of conversations in the early morning, the lack of sales in the evening, the lack of dinners shared at night and the lack of kisses before bed. It was the lack of Saitama.
"I wanted to check up on you because…you know you are not alone, right, Sensei?"
He casts his eyes down to his thighs, fingers lazily toying with the fabric of his trousers. I don’t even need to ask if the clothing that he’s wearing is his.
Clearly, they aren’t. I do not recall washing an outfit with practically nothing of interest decorating it.
“Are you okay, Sensei?”
He finally turns to me and lifts a trembling hand, reaching towards my face.
“Genos, you silly thing…I’m fine.”
Please don’t lie to me, Saitama. You can tell me anything.
A weak smile stretches across his face. I don’t have the strength to return the gesture so I continue to frown. It feels like my expression has been locked to one of despair for the last few weeks.
“What about you?”
He dances his fingertips across my cheek before clasping his palm around the side of my head. I can’t help but nestle into his touch. It’s comforting and reminds me of home.
“You look like you haven’t slept in days…”
It’s because I haven’t, Saitama. Our futons are still rolled up neatly by the wall. I haven’t touched them ever since you left. It didn’t feel right to fall asleep without you by my side. Believe me, I have tried. But I simply couldn’t. Each time I managed to successfully activate my sleep mode, I would be jolted awake by horrendous thoughts.
“Haha, I never thought I’d see you so worn out, Genos…”
A dry chuckle falls from his chapped lips. It was as if he had forced it.
Yet, I do not understand what is meant to be humorous. Is this one of those jokes that you attempted to explain to me?
“Worry about yourself more. I’ll never get any rest if you’re always like this, geez...”
As expected of you, Saitama. Even when you are in an unpleasant situation, you still care about the needs of someone like me. You truly are selfless.
I don’t care what anyone says; they are wrong anyway. You will always be the kindest soul I’ve ever met. You took me into your home and tutored me. You taught me what I couldn’t have learnt in a thousand years. You saved me countless times.
Although, I now wish that you should have just let me die.
“…Especially since you finally defeated the Mad Cyborg. Let yourself be a little more easy-going, okay?”
If only you had just overlooked the fight. Then, you wouldn’t be subjected to fate’s cruel games. You should have ignored my stupid cries and carried on with your day. It’s my fault that you’re going to be killed.
“For my sake, please…Be happy. Don’t worry about anything anymore.”
Saitama’s fingers stroke my hair and the sensation is heavenly. His skin presses into my artificial kind, his warmth enveloping me in a bittersweet daze. My own hand come up to rest upon his forearm.
I choke out a sob as oil wells up in my eyes, tainting my eyelashes.
Why must they take away every person that I’ve ever loved? What did I do to deserve this viscous cycle?
“Sensei…”
The black liquid begins to stream down my cheeks and I’ve never felt so useless in my life.
Back when the Mad Cyborg destroyed my town and family, I was young and inexperienced. I had an excuse. But I don’t anymore. I’m an S-Rank hero. I should be able to save one man. Just one person. But I can’t. And that’s because I’m not strong enough.
“Please, I beg of you, Sensei…Reconsider this, I will protect you. I will! It’s not too late, Sensei…”
My words tumble out of my mouth in one slurred train but I will keep my oath.
I will burn this place to the ground, Saitama. I’ll take you far away, so no one can ever harm you ever again. I’ll enlist help from Doctor Kuseno. We’ll be safe. Just…Please give me another chance. I may not be as strong as you want me to be, but I can try my best. I will gladly sacrifice myself so that you may live a happy life.
Saitama’s hand has gone cold as he gently swipes at my tears with his thumb. He looks wearily at me and I can already predict his answer.
“Genos…It’s too late. It’s my fault that this happened…And I am guilty of it.”
Both of his palms cradle either side my jaw, subsequently catching a pool of oil. I want to scream. I want to tell him that nothing is his fault. That it was me who messed up and got us into trouble.
But I keep my mouth shut for once and tilt my head up, staring into his glassy eyes.
“I need to pay for what I did. This is my decision, Genos.”
No, stop. Stop. Stop saying that this was your doing. You are not to blame, Saitama. Please, believe me when I say that it was me. After all, I’m always the one who causes the problems. You are the one who cleans up the mess that I make.
I don’t understand how you can tolerate me. I forced my way into your life and stuck with you like a bad memory. Now, I’ve dragged you down into this hell.
I’m sorry. Could you please find it in your heart to forgive me? I never meant for it to turn out this way.
I never meant to ruin your life, Saitama.
“So, please…Rethink yours.”
I apologise but I can’t change my decision. I can't even imagine living in a world where you are not by my side. I know perfectly well that I did spend a multitude of my years alone before I met you. However, I’ve changed. You changed me. You introduced me to the joys of hunting for sales. You encouraged me to take life less seriously. You gifted me with a new sense of happiness. You accepted me for who I was.
You have given me so much, so please, let me repay you.
“I’m sorry, Sensei…But I have made my decision.”
The oil collected in Saitama’s hands splash against the ground when I begin to lean up towards him. In comparison to the silence, the splatter of my tears is deafening as our lips meet. I can’t even begin to express how gratifying it is to finally kiss him again. All those wordless nights that I spent alone has led up to this moment. Has my personality softened since meeting Saitama? I’m sure it has. Before, I never had a problem with being on my own. I believe that I even preferred it. But now, I shudder at the thought of being forced into isolation again.
He soothes my worries by tenderly threading his fingers through the underside of my hair. They brush over the tip of my ear and the white tubing of my neck. His movements are delicate, as if he thinks that I might shatter at the slightest amount of pressure.
Meanwhile, I lift my hand up to his jaw, caressing the strong bone with my sensors. The relish I gain is short-lived.
We break away when a flashing, yellow warning obstructs my sight: “HYDROGEN CYANIDE DETECTED – RETREAT IMMEDIATELY!”
Saitama appears to have also realised what has happened. He stares at me, a lone tear rolling down his face as he pulls one more smile. He looks like an angel.
The hiss of gas is shrill on my ears. I bow my head down, resting it upon his thigh. My hand continues to grasp at his trousers. Is this how we’re going to leave this world? Will they cry when they find out that I died next to a “villain”? I manage to huff as my limbs are automatically locked into their current position.
It’s not your fault that we’re slowly being engulfed in pale grey fumes. I am sure of that.
This is all their doing.
They ignored the fact that you saved me from being another victim of the Mad Cyborg. They were blind to how I was on the verge of death before you arrived. They didn’t understand that we were oblivious to the number of hostages that the Mad Cyborg had captured. They assumed that you took their lives on purpose. They decided that only you needed to pay the price for your sins.
They branded you as a threat to humanity.
My ocular systems have shut down so I close my eyes. There’s no use in keeping them open if I’m blind. My hearing has not been damaged yet so I can tell that the electric current active in my core is beginning to spark. His breathing is now reduced to shallow pants and I can just make out the sounds of the words that leave his lips. I wish I could tell you something but my vocal apparatus seems to be malfunctioning.
There’s a furious pounding on the wall to the right of me. Have they finally realised that I’m in here with you? It took them long enough. I don’t understand why they are making so much noise. They can’t cease the procedure and come in to remove me.
The gas that is starting to clog my mind would affect them as well. Moreover, I believe that they are scared of you.
But I’m not scared of you, Saitama. I never have been and I never will be.
No matter what lies the public may spread about you, I will continue to follow you to wherever you wish to go.
Even to the realm of the dead.
I love you, Sai-
- SYSTEM SHUTDOWN -