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He trails slightly behind Agent Bronze and Choi lost in thought and exhausted.
But it’s that good kind of exhaustion that comes with having given something your all. He’s no stranger to this feeling but that familiarity doesn’t diminish the effect on his mood. This holds true for his seniors as well. He finds himself smiling seeing the light hearted way the two carry themselves. All that’s left is to return to the bureau and submit a report then they get to go home and rest for the day.
He hasn’t thought about home in a while. Usually it’s on the very front of his mind even in the most tense moments. ‘If I don’t make it out of here alive how will I go home?’ and additionally ‘If I fail to do my job and fail to rescue these citizens I can’t go home.’
‘Is that really okay?’
Somedays it felt like he’d lose his mind if he let go of that dream but lately…. It seems time really does heal all wounds. He’s been stretching the definition of “home” for a while now. Would it be so bad to stretch it a bit further?
To go home is to also return to the waiting room with Hyunmu team 1.
He plays around with that sentence in his mind imagining several varying possibilities.
And strangely enough it doesn't seem completely impossible, because he trusts Hyunmu team 1 and they trust him back.
He feels his legs falter as he’s overcome with a warm feeling of belonging.
His teammates, ever observant, turn around at the sound of his footsteps halting. A question on their lips. Having stuck around as long as he has he already knows what they're going to ask.
‘Is something wrong?’ ‘Are you okay?’
So he prepares his answer. ‘Sorry, it’s nothing.’
And as a way to show concern they would inwardly click their tongues and pull him forward with topics of mundane conversation while also slowing down their own walking speed out of consideration. It’s a song he’s danced to many times before, sometimes he even gets to be the person expressing concern rather than being concerned over. That’s just the nature of their trio.
But before even a syllable is exchanged he blinks and the agents are gone. Instead in front of him is a cream colored wall, a worn yet nostalgic room.
The blanket that presumably covered him during his rest was kicked to the floor as if awaking from a lengthy nightmare. For some reason he is at home in his bed.
That home
His eyes frantically blink trying to adjust to the sudden darkness currently enshrouding him.
“What just happened?”
His heartbeat frantically pounds in his chest. It was a melody so loud he could hardly hear himself think. After everything he’s been through…there’s no way. Absolutely not. It can’t be that easy.
…
He pulls down his sleeves. Through the faint light of the moon streaming through the window he finds his tattoos weren't present alongside all the scuffs and scratches he suffered from today’s disaster.. The sleeve wasn’t even that of the standard agency uniform jacket. It was just a long sleeved t-shirt he bought on clearance and randomly wore to bed.
He pats himself down in search for his phone before finding it charging on his nightstand.
It looks like his phone still works. 2.AM. The current date flashes brightly. It’s a day after the roulette incident. Then he checks his contacts. Every single person related to his time in the world of Darkness Exploration Records is gone. Instead it’s all family, co workers, friends... names he hasn't layed eyes upon in quite some time in fear of his memories blending together. He quickly refreshes the app multiple times to no change.
Everything is just as he remembers it. So naturally he thinks about different memory or past related ghost stories. The first thing that comes to mind is [We once existed] a disaster that uses the person's own memory against them so they stay trapped in the disaster of their own volition. The entry conditions were…entering and exiting through the same doorway seven times while reminiscing on a long gone memory. Hm. That doesn’t match his circumstances at all.
Maybe [Don’t gaze back]? A person thinks themselves having a normal day however slowly, so slowly you don’t even notice until days later, details distort, faces blur and memory escapes them until the person kills themself after succumbing to madness of the mind.
However, his normal is now a run down motel, grapeades, paperwork and never ending danger. He’s accepted that.
Then maybe….
He mentally crosses off another entry in his head. Frustrated he finds himself bawling his fist and slamming it into the nightstand. It stings.
Not a dream then. Also crosses out three other possible darknesses and disasters.
“Brrring~”
An alarm startles him out of his thoughts. It was his usual 6 AM alarm he would set for his office job. If it’s the day after yesterday then he already used one of his vacation days…Braun! He should have the merchandise box if it’s really his world and not a parallel one where he so happened to not go to the pop up shop or God forbid get a different prize on that cursed roulette wheel.
Cautiously he opens the door and for the first time since awaking leaves his bedroom. The hallway and sparse decor is of course the same as he left it. There on a coffee table was the accursed box and so was the plush keychain.
Quickly he presses his good friend to his chest.
“Braun?”
….
Oh right. No tattoos. Nor a ghost story.
So he props up the doll and sets up the area appropriately allowing his friend room to speak.
“Braun?” he tries again. One minute, two minutes, five minutes later. There’s no reply.
Okay.
So for Kim Soleum's final test he goes onto his phone and searches up a popular franchise known as the Darkness Exploration Records. His heartbeat quickens. Three characters in it fills itself out in the search bar due to him having the site bookmarked and having visited it so frequently.
He clicks on it and just like every other thing today it’s an eerily familiar sight.
‘Oh my god…’
His hands won't stop shaking.
Quickly he plans out his day to do everything he possibly can. Mainly, visiting and calling his loved ones and lounging at home. He never had a plan post wish ticket but that’s an appropriate way to start.
He rushes out the front door eager to start the day as if it was his last one alive before remembering he has to get properly dressed first.
For the first time in a while he even styles his hair in that neat middle part he used to do at Daydream- no before Daydream.
Sitting on his couch eating take out he watches some random show on his TV. He tries to pay attention but his attention is spent anxiously watching the time tick by. Then, unable to stomach it anymore he begins cleaning his house for when he officially returns via the elusive Wish Ticket. He fondly drags his hand alongside the edges of various furniture remembering their particulars through touch. A concerning amount of dust collects on his finger tips. You don’t appreciate what you have until it’s gone huh? Eventually, the clock strikes 12.
But the spell remains intact; he's still home.
Kim Soleum unknowingly lets out a sigh of relief.
…
So now what?
…
It’s been a week. He’s already adjusted back into his old everyday routine and now all that’s left is the lingering terror. Just as suddenly as he had left and been brought back into this world there’s no guarantee he’ll stay this time. He’s propped up the good friend doll on a corner table by the door. Sometimes he lingers near the entrance wondering if this time he’ll finally tuck the doll in his front pocket. It would stand out and he doesn’t want to be known in the office as the guy who plays with dolls or worse one of his co workers recognizes it and finds out he likes Dark Exploration Records. More importantly, having the doll in his pocket was a reminder of those days and he’s already reminded enough of them by his nightmares and the way his heart starts furiously pumping in normal everyday locations. But, despite all of that…! He loathes to admit it but he really really misses the comfort and assurance from Braun and that familiar weight near his chest.
He reminds himself that there’s no darkness residing in this normal plush toy…and then one day compromises by attaching the keychain to his briefcase. If anyone asks, it was a gift from a dear friend.
It’s been two weeks.
His superiors at his office aren’t the best people, always scolding him for small mistakes due to sleep deprevation. Jokingly another reminder that that other world consisted of a fictional setting. At least they weren’t trying to actively harm him if you don’t count the mountains of paperwork he’s been slowly dealing with over the course of the past few days. His brain, trained for worst case scenarios, hasn't accepted the idea it could possibly be safe here. But that’s just trauma isn’t it? He’s safe. He’s home.
Should he see a therapist?
Ah. Wait.
That’s funny. Just as he couldn’t possibly explain how he came from another world and the contents of the wiki to everyone the same also applies here. In fact his story has even less plausibility here due to the lack of ghost stories.
Hahaha.
Suddenly, he feels a bit lonely. But that’s an insignificant price to the feeling of euphoria of everything being over.
Today is Tuesday. Kim Soleum, on his way to work, is riding normal everyday transit in his typical suit and tie.
He blinks and is back in front of the tall building before everything that happened. His knees scrape into the concrete sidewalk as he falls to the floor in disbelief. There was no build up. He didn’t even get an equivalent of days in his world to days spent in the world of Dark Exploration Records. Why on a Tuesday? Why now? Why him?
“Hahahahah…” He weakly laughs. How frustrating. Rather than any pain his mind is focused on something way more pressing.
Rapidly he starts blinking his eyes to drive away tears and out of desperation. ‘One more time. Just once more, please….’
‘I just want to see it again…’
Nothing changes. He stands back up peering into the sky. It’s still night out, the cold wind bites into his skin despite the comfort of the bureau jacket he’s now wearing, and he’s still here cursing it all.
[Friend! Goodness, what happened to you?!] A pleasant deep voice rang clear in his head.
Braun. The good friend doll. He’s here again. He’s really here.
He folds his fake frames and tucks them into his pocket before silently swiping his sleeve across his eyes. Leaning against a wall for support he pathetically tries to silence his sobs leaving his chest heaving and vision blurry. Vaguely he thinks he hears Braun offer words of comfort. He probably read his thoughts to be caught up from the past few weeks.
He must look absolutely awful. A grown man sobbing late into the night. Additionally, all the aches and pains from that day are back just to make everything worse. It makes sense since he suddenly spirited back into his body in the DER world but he feels he has the right to complain especially when it’s just insult to injury.
Something grasps onto his arm, their grip warm and firm. Kim Soleum flinches before beating himself up mentally. That was rule number one of this world. At any time he could suddenly find himself within a ghost story so he should always be guarded. He didn’t even hear them approach…
He turns their way.
It’s Agent Bronze.
A familiar face he missed terribly but a stark reminder that he’s not where he needs to be. Without his consent Soleum’s waterworks begin to turn once more.
“You…”
The hold on his arm tightens as his eyes widen as he finally realizes who it was in front of him.
“Kim Soleum.”
He says it so wistfully it comes off not as an addressment but almost out of distress like he couldn’t believe what he’s seeing.
Ryu Jaekwan freezes. His eyes frantically darted around seeing the state Kim Soleum was in. Looking away from his tear stricken face out of consideration but at the same time feeling the need to keep him in his gaze out of fear.
Fear of what? Kim Soleum briefly ponders before he’s pulled into Jaekwan's embrace. His knee buckles and he collapses his face into Agent Bronze’s left shoulder. Mentally he apologizes for staining his jacket with tears but he can’t find the energy to bring himself back up as all that energy is used to just..cry.
Suddenly, Agent Choi is also at his side turning this into a group hug. “Kim Soleum, Kim Soleum, Kim Soleum, Grapes, our youngest.” He hears his senior mutter repeatedly under his breath. Funnily enough he seems to be completely out of breath actually, his appearance implying he somehow ran all the way here.
It’s so shockingly out of character from how the agent typically carries himself it almost broke Soleum out of his stupor.
Finally, the reason for their behavior is revealed.
“Grapes, you’ve been missing for the past weeks. And-” Agent Choi takes a moment to catch his breath. His hands are shaking by his side craving a cigarette more than ever.
“And, hahaha, we didn’t even realize it!”
“I-I couldn’t even remember your name until Bronze messaged me ten minutes ago.”
The question on everyone’s mind was obvious. What happened? Where did you go?. Of course, calming down Kim Soleum came first. And Kim Soleum’s mind was an absolute mess.
How could he tell them? It’s real… The dream he was chasing for the past years wasn’t a mere dream. It was tangible in the way he hugged his mother, ate meals and watched films with old friends and interacted with the wiki as a fictional setting.
Some might see this as an event of despair. But how could the universe allow him a drop of the sweetest ambrosia and not expect him to chase after more? If anything this event just reaffirmed his beliefs. He can’t stop until he’s back home. And that means he needs to go back to work.
He pulls out of the embrace of the agents but doesn’t raise his head in fear of meeting their eyes. His colleagues are kind people, kinder than he deserves. If he looks his resolve will falter once more.
He tries to tell them that he plans to just go rest but the two agents beg but then later force him to come back to the agency with them for a routine checkup and to be put under observation just in case he randomly disappears again.
Randomly. Right. There was no foreshadowing or correlation to him going home. It just happened. Unpredictable, he can’t rely on it at all. So the goal remains unchanged. Get a wish ticket. Go home.
Exhausted, he just follows Agent Bronze and Choi and they escort him the entire way there. What happened to him during that time? He doesn’t know either. That's the truth, unfortunately. And so a heavy silence falls between them as they trudge shoulder to shoulder to the agency with Soleum in between.
“Don’t disappear on us again, okay? What happened to Hyunmu Team 1 forever, huh?”
“...It wasn’t a voluntary decision on my part.”
“...right. Yes, of course.”
The atmosphere turns cold again with Agent Choi’s attempt at conversation shut down and Agent Bronze is still stuck in his head processing the whole ordeal. However, while Agent Choi is smiling, his normally bright eyes seem to have momentarily lost their shine; whereas Agent Bronze continues looking forward with an intense resolve.
With his seniors taking care of all the dialogue and papers they pat him on the back with easy reassuring smiles and send him in for a check up.
There was a much easier solution he’s been purposely ignoring. And within the isolation room he has plenty of time to consider it too. He’s 99% sure on what kind of disaster Director Ho is looking for. He can just write down the information, pass it on and go. He was being cruel to his fellow spies as well making them wait this long for his decision. They all have impossible dreams like he does, that’s the whole reason they’re in this together. And the impossible can only be granted by the wish ticket. Yes, there’s no reason to drag out this spy mission any longer.
Beyond that, after returning from the observation period he’s now under even tighter scrutiny by his colleagues. Agent Bronze and Agent Choi specifically have made it a habit to cling to him at any available moment. Touches that seem casual at a glance are movements born from severe anxiety. Any chance of espionage happening in this state is practically zero.
Tonight he doesn’t sleep. He usually has trouble sleeping anyways. He settles down into the corner of his shabby motel room and he begins writing. First, a detailed report for Director Ho regarding the disaster he’s seeking and then he writes letters for the many people he will never see in the future.
Well, that was the plan at first but… if it’s anything like the past week then he won’t be remembered won’t he? His parting words wouldn’t have any value. To disappear without a trace is the perfect way for a spy to go anyways, right? The thought saddens him greatly but maybe that’s for the best. He would feel even worse wasting the time of the agents looking for a missing man who’s already right where he needs to be.
[A tiny correction Mr.Soleum! Even if their memories were to disappear, your mark on the world will still remain. At the very least this host won’t ever forget our time together.]
Then how about an anonymous tip off? Here’s a list of disasters I’ve personally been involved with and some solutions I’ve come up with to ensure the safety of citizens and some additional items.
And just in case since the exit is different he’ll tack on an additional clause when he has his wish.
“I wish to return home, to the day before I joined Daydream-”
“...and for everyone here to forget me and be happy.”
Something along those lines.
[I can't help but shed a tear as we near the conclusion of your story! The ending was a bit abrupt but it certainly wasn’t boring. But it seems I must make one final correction. There seems to be a contradiction in your words! How could our audience nor anyone find joy in forgetting our star, Kim Soleum?]
Braun heartily chuckles and Kim Soleum laughs along humoring his friend one last time.
“You’re exaggerating...”