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Saying you'll go to the end of the world with someone is one thing but actually going there is another.
After the thousand millionth reset, Lu Guang had lost count of how many times he'd repeated the first time he'd lived the life with the man who would become his world ending forever. Cheng Xiaoshi looked at him with the same golden eyes, sun exploding inside them, always with a smile that would cut through planets and a kiss that would end existence.
And now?
He was floating inside an infinite nothingness. White all around, nothing for as far as the his eye could see, Lu had assumed he was dead. Vein had once again ended his world, he thought the universe had finally said its time to go.
Amidst the initial panic, Cheng Xiaoshi's body slipping inside a gaping crack in the floor and Vein’s maniacal laughter echoing inside his head, everything changed. Lu Guang normally clapped and went back to the birth of his universe, a basketball to the face. This time was different. When he had put his hands together, there was no clap sound, only a glow of golden light and a warmth that engulfed the boy which transported him to where he was now. He landed gently on what he assumed to be the floor of wherever this place is, he noticed two things.
One was a large black door that appeared a few feet away and the other was a humanoid figure enveloped in black wings lying at its entrance. He couldn't see their features from where he was stood but Lu Guang walked over anyway. He knew nothing of this liminal space and nothing of the potential creatures within it but for some reason his heart rung and trusted them.
When he eventually reached them, Lu Guang knelt by the cocoon and looked it over. The wings themselves were huge, easily over 7ft long, deep black feathers ran down their body. Upon closer look the wings had a slight gold tint to them, a sheen that twinkled in the white light. The creature itself was around 6ft with what looked like a mop of brunette hair over its face. It was also lightly breathing, like it was asleep. He didn't know why but Lu Guang was transfixed. Watching every breath it took, he felt almost tranquil which made no sense. How could something so effable on a strange plane of existence make him feel the calmest he’d felt in years?
Suddenly they started moving. They huddled their wings into where their face would be, as if they were rubbing the sand out of their eyes first thing in a morning. Slowly they unfurled and stretched their 4 limbs, 2 arms and 2 legs. They then sat and looked around as if trying to assess exactly they were. They were wearing all white shirt and matching trousers, very plain with bare feet. Their brunette hair had grown past to their shoulders, falling over the beings face.
When their golden sun eyes met Lu Guang's ocean blues, Lu Guang's heart fell.
"Is it you?" he asked quietly, his heart tapping morse code beats
"Yes. But also no" they replied calmly, as if such emotional weight didn't exist. There was no malice or harsh feelings behind the voice, just calm collected melancholy.
"If you are saying if I'm the same version of me you knew last time you went back, the answer is no. I'm more like a collection of all of me. I'm the one that held your hand when you cried after your nightmares, I'm the one that made you laugh when I spilled my milk tea all over me when you made me laugh, I'm the one.." the being paused as if it was thinking. A tear fell down their face "I'm the version that you held when he lay bleeding, that told you to save them all, that didn't believe you when you said you wouldn't travel back again"
"But"
How could this be, Cheng Xiaoshi had died. He'd died no matter what he did and now the universe has given him to him again. Why now? Is he going to die again? Can he save him this time?
The being then laughed "I called you Guang Guang didn’t I?” they paused “I love that name" they smiled warmly. "Take my hand Guang Guang, let's walk"
They stood up, shaking his wings, and offered their hand to Lu Guang who took it.
So soft.
He wasn't sure what to say, mind racing. This was the man he loves but at the same time someone new.
"How can you be here? Why aren’t you-?”
“I’m here because the universe said so, I chose to be here and yet the world wills it. I’m just as in the dark as you are and yet I don’t question it” a warm smile crept over the being face making Lu Guang’s heart melt “I know you like to understand things Guang Guang but I think this once it’s ok to let go and embrace things as they are”
The white haired boy’s face crumpled slightly, nearly dropping his hand from the other being.
“After everything? Everything I've done-I've killed, I've watched you die” pools of tears bundled under his blue ocean eyes, escaping down his cheeks “How can I just-How I can I forget that?”
“You don’t. All those attempts all those dives back to save me? They weren’t for nothing. They all brought you to me now, I believe that. I’ve watched you, all of me have, say goodbye over and over and it-” the being stopped for a second, hand squeezing Lu Guang’s grasp. They turned and looked, really looked, the pools of golden were swirling, like a golden sunshine in autumn. “It broke me, it broke all of us. Watching you fail and in turn we failed you, we couldn’t help but die that’s what we were made to do after all. Without our death, you would never have lived which is was all we wanted”
“But I didn’t” Lu Guang sniffed, frustration boiling his stomach “I died EVERY GODDAMN DAY without you. Every fucking day I went back, got hit in the face with that basketball I just, I couldn’t live if it meant you died”
The being smiled as Lu Guang clung to his arm a little. It was warmer than he expected, so familiar yet there was something beyond comprehension. It was so real from how the being smelled to how he walked exuding the same aura as his previous iterations.
"Of course I can’t even being to imagine what you have gone through. I always admired your resilience, your drive to do anything, how you would be able to work out solutions to problems instantly when I'd have zero idea" the being laughed "which I think was a lot of the time eh"
Hearing the being laugh, brought tears to Lu Guang's eyes. He'd longed for this for so long and now he had it it felt..he felt whole again.
"I think...I remember when you used to cry before. Back when we stayed together and I used to hold you all night long. I...I liked that. Being able to be with you truly and know that in that moment we were both safe."
"It's ok" Lu Guang whispered, gripping the beings hand tighter "I'm not letting go" He turned to face them, wiping their tears away with his other thumb.
A pink blush speckled across the beings face.
"Please, I need you" they whispered, eyes flickering staring into the man's.
Lu Guang's eyes flickered back, leaning in to meet their lips together.
It was soft and sweet and beautiful, everything it had been before. The being melted into Lu Guang's hand, pulling his arms around to embrace the white haired man. The kiss then got more intense, like Lu Guang was addicted and the being was the drug he craved so badly. Wings fluttered in the background, clearly reacting to the passion its owner was feeling. It felt like when the meteor crashed into the Earth, Lu Guang's tongue battled devoured.
Breathless, Lu Guang broke the kiss suddenly. A strand of saliva still connected them before falling onto Lu Guangs chin.
"I love you Cheng Xiaoshi. I didn't want to die without doing that one last time"
"I love you too Lu Guang” the being smiled “You won't have to. We will be together forever now"
"What now then? Where do we go?"
"Anywhere we want. Through that door is paradise. Time doesn't exist here so we won't grow old and we won't have to run anymore. We can finally just be together forever just like we said we would"
"My forever is with you"