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No one really knew what to do when the singer broke into soft tears during the recording. It was supposed to be a standard recording session, with the band having nailed their parts down for Don’t Go Away and everyone knew it would be a hit. However, Liam had inexplicably choked on the lyrics and began crying.
“Shut the fuck up, I’m getting a drink of water and a smoke,” Liam announced as he wiped his eyes. No one had even been talking but the message was clear.
“Our kid, just hold on a minute-”
“Shut the fuck up, I said,” Liam retorted as Noel bit his lip.
“Right then, everybody out. Give our kid some space,” Noel directed to the other band members. Bonehead, Guigsy and Alan each nodded and left. This wasn’t new, them being kicked out, but the weirdness of these occurrences never changed. Liam had his back to Noel as everyone filed out and Noel didn’t really know how to address the situation. “Our kid-”
“Don’t be daft, I meant you too,” Liam added.
Noel opened his mouth with his brows furrowed and his face unreadable, not that Liam was looking in his direction anyway. He exhaled and brought his hands to his hips. “What for?”
“Coz I fuckin’ said so,” came Liam’s sharp reply. Something was clearly the matter and he didn’t seem intent on filling Noel in as to what. Noel bristled for a moment. He really didn’t want to leave his brother to his own devices, but that was looking like the best option available to him.
“Jus’ want to talk, Liam,” Noel tried carefully. Hearing his real name used instead of the affectionate nickname Noel had been using stirred something in Liam and he wiped one more tear from his eye.
“Nothin’ to talk about.”
“Right, just wanted to hang out, then,” Noel replied with dry humor. Liam rolled his eyes but his lips quirked up a bit despite himself. Finally he turned to face the older man with his lips pulled back into a line and his eyes only slightly red.
“Fine then, hang out. I’m fine.”
You don’t look fine, Noel wanted to say, but he shook his head and tried thinking of a different response. “Right, me too.”
Liam and Noel stood there, looking at each other. Noel’s face seemed a bit older, a bit more weathered than Liam remembered it being three years ago in 1994. To Noel, however, Liam’s face looked young and even slightly innocent, despite his brother being twentyfive now. Both stared as though they were trying to read the other’s mind and figure out what they were playing at. Finally, Liam’s voice broke the silence.
“Why are you still here?” he asked and Noel noted how genuine the question sounded.
Because it’s my studio and I don’t leave unless I want to, Noel stopped his ego from ruining the moment. “Because you’re here.” Liam’s lips straightened further, pulling them into a sharper horizontal line across his face. Noel wondered if Liam was going to cry again. “What’s got you so upset?”
“Dunno man, the lyrics,” Liam sighed and threw his hands up. Noel’s brows raised and his eyes widened slightly.
“The lyrics?”
“The lyrics, I dunno,” Liam repeated and his eyes fluttered shut.
Noel’s mouth went dry and he stuttered for a response. He fumbled with his hands, parted his lips and then closed them and searched Liam’s body language for an explanation. “What about them?”
“Dunno, got me choked up is all.”
Noel nodded. “Don’t worry about it, just…” He thought for a moment. “Just drink some water and then we can retry recording it, alright?”
“Right then,” Liam responded and his eyes met Noel’s again. Liam’s face was easier to look at now, with his tears dry and eyes back to glassy and white. Noel nodded his head awkwardly and turned away.
“I’m going out for a smoke.”
…
Noel stood just outside the studio lighting his cigarette, trying desperately to shake the image of Liam crying from his mind. He didn’t like it. And he really, really hated that it was the lyrics choking his little brother up.
“Bloody hell,” Noel muttered to himself as he raised the cigarette to his lips. “You’d think he knew the song was about him.”
It took about two minutes for Noel to finish the cigarette and round up the band to rerecord the track. Noel made a mental note to himself to tell Liam the song was about their mum and missing her.
Maybe Liam would believe him.