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In Have Cot's shared house, Ruby is seen laying on her bed in her room, crying her heart out after watching TPOT 19 with the world is about to end. She didn't want to deal with anyone right now as she buries herself with her pillow, bedrotting herself to escape from the harsh reality.
She was happy when she was joined to BFDIA after her failure from joining BFDI, excited to meet the old and new contestants she always wanted to meet, to compete and have fun, and what's a better team to go other than Freesmart?
The team didn't really form until episode 5, but never felt as much appreciated and loved as this team, at least for her time. She really had no one back then, and her sisters didn't exactly like her as she was annoying to them and couldn't handle her shenanigans, and anytime she does a favor for them, her sisters never thanked her or took her seriously.
Because of this, she or anything she does never felt was enough, so she wanted to do something actually useful so she can be respected but didn't know where to start, until her and her sisters heard of BFDI on TV and all of them wanted to join, although the Announcer said that only one gem can go, so he choose Ruby as her personality fits the nature of the show.
She was dancing in joy when Ruby got accepted to join, she can finally prove herself to be more than being ditzy to them as they claim, but all she met with nothing but jealousy, her sisters were furious as Ruby 'stole' the lights from them, and made them trick her to make her think Gem School was only for diamonds and letting her down furthermore, even though it wasn't entirely her fault, not only that but they all planned to replace her just to compete, she couldn't do anything as she was overpowered by her 35 sisters, but the nightmare was finally ended as all of them (including herself) were eliminated, and Ruby couldn't be more relieved when they're all been killed in BFDIA 15, she was fed up with them anyway.
In her time with Freesmart, she realized that she doesn't really need them anymore, they never respected her, they never appreciated and loved her for who she is, so joining that team was so refreshing as she finally started her new life and found her new family and a home. She loved everyone on that team, and formed a close relationship with Pencil, Book and Bubble. Even though Pencil and Match find her annoying sometimes, they loved her and tolerated her shenanigans, and that's what all she wanted.
Pencil was the leader and the heart of the team, always knows what to do with her strategies and doesn't give up no matter what it takes, even if it costs to kill herself to get further to the game. She always adored and looked up to her like some sort of a perfect leader who could do no wrong that she wanted to become like her one day.
Pencil found her a worthy member of Freesmart and one of the bestest behind Match, she loved her ruthless and chaotic nature, and Ruby gets happy when Pencil appreciates her efforts, and when she needed her help, she does it with no hesitation, that's how much Pencil meant to her.
Ruby got inspired by her when she was leading the team from the episode Match was eliminated, to being stuck in space before Ruby gets eliminated, although she wasn't as harsh or controllable as Pencil, she still managed to lead a team successfully at times.
Book was one of her best friends in BFDIA and IDFB through thick and thin, she is kind, smart and forgiving, very forgiving, and has more knowledge to BFDI and Yoyle culture more than anybody. She was the one who comforts her every time she feels down or messes up.
Even though Ruby loves Pencil, Ruby believes that showing any sort of weakness or failing the challenges is a disgrace to the team, so she never shows her struggles except for Book and Bubble.
She never thought she would open up about her personal issues to someone, whether it's about the show or outside that, yet Book's kindness and understanding nature made her body relax and let out her issues and worries to her, and Book surprisingly understands where Ruby is coming from, and made her believe that she's way more than her mishaps, so Ruby would push herself up, striving to become a better competitor thanks to her.
Although Bubble is a great friend, she's not a therapist like Book, speaking of whom.
Bubble is also her best friend, although she wasn't an official contestant back in the day, she's polite and a voice of reason of whether something goes wrong, and shares similar interests as hers. She was the one who encourage and participate her ideas (sometimes even improving them) and made her feel like she's the center of the world, leading Ruby to defend and protect her no matter what it costs.
Even though she was fragile, she was surprisingly the glue of the team in IDFB, whether the team starts a fight she stops them and figures out their issues.
As far as she knows, she has a close relationship with Pencil and Match since the very beginning, even before the show, so no wonder she knows what to do as she knows them more than anybody.
Match and Ice Cube were also great people, but she doesn't know Ice Cube that much despite they're in the same team for years, except that she has a vengeful nature and a close friend with Book.
It seems like they're an unstoppable team, even though if one of them gets eliminated, they're still a part of the team by heart, they'll still come back together after the show is over.
Ruby really believed that Freesmart will stay forever, no matter how many seasons they're gonna compete, nothing is going to ever break them, right? right?
It all went downhill when BFB began.
Book and Ice Cube had left Freesmart and joined Gaty's team, she didn't want them to leave at first, but she understood that they didn't like Pencil's leadership so she said nothing, they could just talk between episodes, right?
They never interacted again, she didn't reach Book, neither did she, as Book wanted to be distant from Freesmart because of Match and Pencil, but she isn't a bad girl, she can talk to her, can she? Yet Ruby never tried, why didn't she?
But come to think of it, it seems Book is actually happy with her new team and made new friends, and from the looks of it, she finally found her team that seemed healthier than Freesmart, so she didn't want to ruin that and left her be. What worse it could've happen?
Book then began to struggle, it started when Taco couldn't help her team because she was stuck in the jawbreaker. She finally freed herself in the end of the swingset challenge, but the team was disappointed at her for not helping the team. Ruby could've said she deserved it, but she thought that would be over and forgive Taco by the next episode, right?
That's when Book saw this as a betrayal and started her obsessiveness of 'protecting' her teammates over Taco, she thought it would turn like Freesmart again, so she puts all her sweat and tears to prevent this from happening again by confronting her. The thing Ruby noticed about Book that she wasn't a pushover once she was in BFDIA as she appears to be braver and can stand herself up, and had the potential to be a better leader than Pencil where she finally has the freedom and show her team what she could do.
Ruby understood Book's intentions, but the way it was handled makes her question if that's the Book she knew and love in BFDIA.
Book's entire team pushed Taco beyond belief, and when Taco tried to prove them she's worthy for the team, she's either being shunned, or trying to prevent her from doing anything, to talking filthy and death threats behind her back. It was so toxic to the point where Taco just gave up, not worth trying anymore for a team that'll never trust her no matter how hard she tried, just like when Book did too much to the team yet she was still considered an alter by Pencil, not appreciating her efforts and sacrifices.
When the team finally opened their eyes and realized their wrongdoings and apologized to Taco, Book is still stuck at her belief, still stuck in her painful past with Pencil and Match to the point where her team lost her trust as she was far gone from the Book Ruby once knew, but she isn't the only one who thought of that as Ice Cube left her.
At first Ruby thought what made Book to behave like this, she was always kind, smart, and forgiving to people who hates her guts like Pin no matter how awfully she treated her, and surprisingly strong too. How did Book go from defeating Evil Leafy to this?
But when gears in that gem's head started to move, she realized that all of this wasn't out of nowhere, this was all to protect them, preventing the team to become another Freesmart, her experiences with the old team is what made her think its the right thing to do, she was very afraid to be abandoned again that something triggered her that led her change her behavior.
The theory became more believable after a confrontation talk from Gaty and Pin, that's when Book finally realized that she had messed up, not just a simple mishap that can either be fixed or ignored, but she damaged her relationship with Ice Cube and her other teammates, she isn't trusted anymore, she's being seen like Pencil, the one what Book swore to prevent, she became just like her. The team became another Freesmart for a while because of Book of all people.
Ruby isn't the type to be the voice of reason and doesn't like to insert herself into the drama, but she's her close friend, she could've tried to prevent this, she could've helped Book to reflect herself just like when Book helped her through hard times, but she didn't. She never did. She never bothered to.
She could've helped her earlier before it got worse, comforting her, holding her hands, telling her her heart is in a good place but it wasn't the way to handle it, she could've convinced her that her way of dealing it is harming her and her team, but she did nothing. She hadn't done anything to help her out, and it was too late.
She knows they're on different teams, but would that excuse her being useless at times like this? People talk to another despite they're on different teams, she could've done that as well. So why didn't she do it? Pencil was eliminated when this was occurred, it's not like she could stop her, yet she couldn't move, stood still like a coward.
After everything Book had gone through and helped Ruby through hard times, is this how she repays her back?
Ruby hits her head with her pillow, wanting these bad thoughts to stop, she doesn't talk about it much, but she really missed her, she was a great friend and shame it had to turn out like that.
Book was able to move on and learned from her mistakes, and her and Ice Cube are friends again, yet Ruby couldn't help but feel guilty that she at least could've done something about it.
And if that wasn't bad enough, she now thinks about Match and Bubble.
Oh, poor Bubble, she was treated and insulted horribly by Pencil and Match, despite all she wanted them is to stop their abuse towards other people for petty reasons, but all she got was being demoted to a bember.
Bubble choose to stay silent and became defenseless as she was afraid to lose her friends she only have, yet Match treated her unfairly ever since Pencil got eliminated.
The final nail in the coffin was in BFB 8, when Bubble was truly fed up with Match after she found out by Fanny that Match didn't know the answer herself, all the pressure and toxicity from Match (and Snowball for some reason) was only to make herself look good the entire time, Bubble was furious at how Match cares more about her and their team's reputation other than helping her friend.
None of this would've happened if Ruby had done something about this, she could've helped Bubble out and told Match to calm down, but she was afraid to get demoted as well, but come to think of it now, is it really worth to have a role at this point if you don't help your a-long-time friend in need instead of adhering to strict and nonsensical rules?
Ruby could tell that Bubble is mad of Match as she ignores her in good amount of episodes, she could've tell her about why Bubble feels that way, making her figure out that she messed up in a way, but she brushed it as usual, thinking that having their own space will figure things out themselves, they're friends after all, they can take their time before going back to repair things up once they're ready, but oh boy it didn't turn out as she had hoped.
A fight broke leading to Match being eliminated, it made Bubble feel bad as she didn't mean to make her leave like that, she was in a miserable state because of this, Ruby could've been here to comfort her, to tell her there's still some hope even if situation is tight, but she didn't do that.
She got the situation out of hand, and she couldn't do anything at this point, but after all this, Bubble wasn't really mad at her, as she understands that Ruby isn't exactly the person to solve a conflict as huge as this as she was just a sweet person, a happy go lucky and chaotic but lovable person, yet Ruby couldn't help but feel bad as she could've done more, she could've done things better.
At least they're finally friends again, hung out and talked things together after years of separation thanks to these huge but confusing events that made her head hurt (post-split, TPOT, EXIT, etc), but why does she still feel bad? They're happy again! Everything was solved, so there's nothing to worry about anymore, right?
...it's not just about that, isn't it?
Pencil.
The name alone made her shove her head to the pillow further, wanting to disappear as the self-loathing were clouding her head that she couldn't think straight.
Pencil... Pencil... Pencil...
The one she thought she was the perfect leader, the one she thought she was a perfect person, the one she thought she could look up into, now she doesn't even know what she thinks of her. How can she look at her the same after everything she's done lately?
When she was joined TPOT, she tried to desperately befriend Book and Ice Cube again, but it always backfires as they always reject her offer.
Not helping the fact that she accidently joined CloudYAY, a team that Pencil hates, filled with people she despises, and Winner is there, I guess.
It was a rough start, but as time went on, even if they sometimes argue, she surprisingly gets along with them too. Hopefully she'll finally have the chance to calm and reflect herself.
Then, the time shift happened.
Now, Ruby understands where she's coming from, she just misses her friends as all of them, and her, were separated from her for years, and now that's she's finally free and is competing again, not only she has no idea where she was, and where are her friends, and what happened to BFB, and who the green number was, all she knows that she's stuck to a team she doesn't like, and has to survive to not get eliminated again, but not out of winning, it was more out of fear. A fear of not wanting to be stuck to an elimination place again, being separated from everyone for a long time until whenever Two will get them out, Pencil couldn't take this anymore.
She doesn't want to be lost again, and Ruby wanted to do something about it. She even wished at one point to visit Two's hotel so she could meet Pencil, Book and Ice Cube.
As a big fan of BFDI herself, the moment any TPOT episode airs she instantly watches it with her fellow Have Cotters as she thought they were fun and chaotic, especially invested with algebralians lore (as everybody does), and wishing Book and Ice Cube a good luck.
But however, that doesn't excuse Pencil's upcoming actions when the episodes get darker, and darker, and darker.
After she almost destroyed their universe, Pencil starts becoming harsh and incredibly selfish towards anyone, and even harm them for something they had nothing to do with.
And unfortunately, the team isn't the type to bring sense to people. Golf Ball and her were still rivals, Yellow Face and Pillow never heard of sympathy in their life, she barely knows Winner, and Donut, although he does comfort her, he doesn't understand her issues as he thinks she does this just for winning, but he doesn't know its deeper than that, and their talk in TPOT 16 certainly didn't help. Pencil has no one to talk to, and she kept acting cruel towards anybody as no one asks her for her reasonings.
Ruby thought she could've confront Donut, or talk to Winner even if both didn't go what Pencil went through, she could've at least tried.
Ruby began to feel uncomfortable but she kept watching nonetheless, wondering how her old friends are doing, but all it happens is Pencil's downfall.
The final straw for Pencil was Book calling out on her actions, finally telling her that all she did to her and Ice Cube was hurting them and she keeps doing so, and wanted nothing to do with her anymore, leading Pencil to give up entirely on them and Freesmart.
Her mental health declined further. She wanted all of this to end, she wanted to go back to where things were normal, to have friends she loved back, to make up for the lost time, but she lost everything... all because of her...
Until Pen reached her out, someone who for once actually understood her, made her believe that she's not a burden without them, and her time with the team and in the EXIT wasn't all for nothing as it helped her aware and learned what she went through to not repeat those same mistakes, and she should try to get closer to her team to get them know better, and vice versa.
As hard as the situation is, she really hoped that Pencil would actually consider it this time.
Then TPOT 19 came out.
Pencil really just ended the world again, from beating Four up to her giving Two's and Four's power to One that made her blood boil, resisting the tears as that helped One destroy the earth.
She never changed, did she?
Pencil is aware of her problems, yet she does nothing to fix them, instead she made things worse to herself and everybody else.
If anything that she wished she realized sooner, is that Bubble and Book opinions towards Pencil's leadership and behavior, especially right now, made her rethink about pretty much everything.
She isn't a great nor a perfect leader as Ruby thought her to be. She just got blinded by it because of both Pencil's adoration towards her, and the team was being her only family at the time.
And instead of being the leader she is and be responsible of her own very flawed actions, she just... agreed to One to go back in time... to reset everything from scratch...
Does she know that'll just erase everything they had together, as if all of their good times together meant nothing to her? Does she know that by doing this, nothing they nor she did would matter anymore? Do they matter to her anymore? Does she want to fix things just because she wants to feel good about herself, not because she truly cares about them? Does she regret from doing any of these current events?
So many conflicted feelings and thoughts that Ruby couldn't take it anymore, she already had ran away to her room as she never saw the part where Grassy was crying nor the flashback. She heard somebody called her name but she didn't care.
Book wasn't a leader yet she turned her life around and matured not just as a competitor but as a person too with Price Tag along her side. Match realized her mistake with her trying to be like Pencil, so she made things up with Bubble and changed for the better as well. Why Pencil couldn't have done the same? Not everybody on her current team exactly hates her, she could have the chance to change, yet...
In a way, she understood her problems and wished to help her out, and she still does, but in another way, she couldn't help but be furious at her for unnecessarily being a huge jerk to the contestants and caused destruction twice.
She was drowned in tears on her bed, sobbing nonstop at what Freesmart had become, from being a girls-only nonstoppable team to being barely a team. They all loathe Pencil now, and Match is horribly worried, which she doesn't blame them at this point.
What it pisses Ruby off the most is herself, constantly beating herself up for being an idiot. A moron who wasted her life by following Pencil instead of just being strong on her own, if that's not pathetic enough, she doesn't know what it is.
Pencil was an object, a person, yet she followed her like a perfect leader who could do no wrong, she could've been there for her, she could've helped her overcome this. She could've joined TPOT and took Bubble with her so none of this would've happen, she could've joined Book's team and help her overcome her fears as well.
She should've been there for them, was it worth the BFB if you're not competing with your friends?
She hasn't been exactly smart like the others, prone to mistakes like anyone else, but this felt like a failure beyond redemption. She had never felt such a crushing burden. She didn't know what to do, who to be anymore, if all her hopes and personal growth had been built on a foundation of her false beliefs. What did that make her? Was she a good person? Was she even a person at all, if all she seemed to do was cause pain?
She feels so lost. All that build up, all that toxicity from her sisters, to Freesmart, to whatever the hell the show has been doing, it all conflicted within her, should she change herself and start over from square one? Would that make feel people better? Or is it too late to fix that? Was she being selfish? Was she asking too mu-
"Roiby..."
Ruby didn't hear Bubble opening the door, taking a peak as she saw her crying on her bed.
Ruby hadn't heard Bubble open the door, peeking in. Now, she saw her friend standing there, observing her tear-streaked form on the bed. Bubble slowly closed the door, moving silently in the dim light of the room. Ruby froze, aware of Bubble's presence but powerless to speak or move. Minutes stretched into felt hours of heavy silence.
Then, she felt a soft hand gently stroking her back. Bubble knew the recent TPOT episodes had taken a toll on her, and in her quiet wisdom, she offered comfort through physical touch, no words needed.
After everything they had been through, Ruby felt profoundly undeserving of Bubble's unwavering kindness. She had been ignorant, sometimes dismissive, of Bubble, yet Bubble still cared. Why? Why would Bubble still care when Ruby herself felt she had done nothing truly good for her in years? Ruby believed she wasn't a good person. Bubble deserved someone better, someone who could stand on their own, not a mere echo of Pencil.
Lost in these thoughts, Ruby suddenly felt arms wrap gently around her. Bubble was hugging her, carefully, so as not to pop. The shock gave way to a poignant realization: Bubble and Match were the only friends she truly had left.
While Bubble was friendly with most of her team (except Gelatin), their bond wasn't as deep as Ruby's with Bubble and Match. Bubble knew Ruby better than anyone, and Ruby knew Bubble deeply in return.
She sometimes forgot that their bond had formed not from her mimicking Pencil’s leadership, but from Ruby simply being Ruby. Bubble loved her for her ditzy, chaotic nature. Bubble didn't want to lose what they had, and neither did Ruby. Even if Freesmart was no more, they had always found ways to connect, whether on different teams or outside the game.
Even now, as Ruby wrestled with her self-perception of being "not enough," Bubble would always be there, a steadfast reminder of her positive qualities, of the fact that she was more than she seemed. No matter how much Ruby messed up, Bubble’s love remained constant.
Ruby hugged her back tightly, mindful of Bubble’s fragile form, and wept louder. Bubble returned the embrace, tears beginning to stream down her own face.
They stood still together before both felt different arms reach them as well, that was Match, hugging and getting them closer.
Both accepted her warmth, leaning into their friend, letting out all the pent-up frustrations and hopelessness. No words were exchanged; the shared affection and quiet sobs conveyed everything.
Even if the world was tearing apart around them, even if their existence felt precarious, they knew that no matter how dirty and bleak things got, they would always have each other.