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“Good afternoon folks, this is ***** ******** with the top latest headlines on ****. This morning in Paris, France: After the defeat of France’s most dangerous super villain terrorist Shadowmoth, the super heroin Ladybug gave a public press conference about the situation. Strangely, the heroin spoke alone with not sight of her partner, Chat Noir, or her superhero team. Ladybug, despite most of her facial features being covered by her mask, was seen looking somber.
At the conference, Ladybug described how famous fashion brand owner and designer Gabriel Agreste was caught up in the battle, heroically sacrificing his life to save Paris and once in for all putting an end to Shadowmoths reign. The identity of Shadowmoth was never discovered. Today we thank Ladybug and Gabriel Agreste for their hard work and sacrifice. Rest in peace, Gabriel Agreste (19**-20**). He leaves behind his son, Adrien Agre-”
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Every word the news reporter covering the final battle said made Marinette’s chest feel heavier and heavier, a feeling she can only describe as painful. The world feels like it’s crashing down on her and the debris is stabbing her repeatedly. The pain is fed by thoughts of what had just occurred no more than a couple hours ago.
Everything she ever thought she had known was basically fucking flipped within minutes.
So many different feelings passing through her mind. Things that no 15-year old girl should have to ever worry about. She felt like a child; she IS a child.
Yet, she felt more grown up than ever. Forced to grow up and pretend to be the confident, smart, loyal, and trust worthy Ladybug everybody has grown to love; to trust, to depend on.
No, today Marinette did not feel like Ladybug. Ladybug is a fraud. A liar, a pretender, a backstabbing overpowered dumb teenager. Truly , just what the hell was Master Fu thinking when entrusting two of the most powerful and dangerous magical jewelry to two 13-year olds back then?
It’s absolutely irresponsible when Marinette begins to really think about it. Just another thing to add to her mental list of shit to panic about. Not good.
—
Marinette’s bed feels damp and smells funky from the buckets of sweat she’s poured out her pores. Her pillow stained with now dried tears after crying for what felt like eons. She finally musters up the energy to turn off her phone and drops it on her bed. Curled up in the fetal position, she feels no comfort to a position she often does when she’s stressed out of her mind. There’s really nothing in the world Marinette feels can help her. Nothing.
A small red figure floats down onto her hair, softly caressing her soft but tangled hair. “Marinette” Tikki says worriedly.
She gets nothing in response.
Truth is, Tikki has been watching Marinette for a while, way before things got so out of hand. For about two years now since Marinette was “blessed” with her miraculous, Tikki has noticed some negative habits from Marinette.
It all started when she found Marinette chewing her nails down, leaving her skin irritated and starting to bleed. Her self-harming habits gradually went from innocent nail biting, to head banging, to scratching the skin of her arms and thighs till they bled.
Every time without fail, Tikki would be there to help relax her and occupy her mind with literally any other thing. But eventually, Tikki noticed that it has also happening when she wasn’t around; in the shower, at night when every other soul was asleep, even during class as secretly as Marinette possibly could. It went from being something she subconsciously did out of habit, to something she did now for comfort.
Before when Marinette was down in the dumps, she would curl up in the fetal position and doom scroll on her phone; not the best coping mechanism but it helped. Now, she doesn’t have the luxury of only worrying about school and whatever other futile teenage worries she had before. Now, she had to worry about the safety of Paris. Now she was the guardian of the Miracle Box. Now she had what felt like the entire world on her shoulders to take care of on top of her stupid teen problems.
When Tikki didn’t hear a response, she sighed. As a small floating god, she could do anything. She could do the impossible. But as a secret small floating god, there wasn’t much she could do. She couldn’t tell anybody else about Marinette’s problems and struggles. How could she help if Tikki and the earrings are the struggle. It’s not like she could take the Ladybug responsibility away from Marinette, freeing her from the one thing in her life causing her the most pain. The world needs Ladybug. There simply isn’t anybody else Tikki can confidently give the miraculous , Marinette is the only Ladybug, her current Ladybug.
Left with no other choice, Tikki decided to cuddle up in the crook of Marinette’s neck, giving her the little comfort she could provide.
A gentle knock coming from her bedroom hatch door startles a soft grunt out of Marinette. “Hey Mari, can I come in?” a even gentler voice says from bellow. Tikki quickly flies to her hiding spot- a small room in a dollhouse Marinette had cleaned up for her.
“Well I’m not hearing a response so I’ll take that as a yes.” The voice says, opening the hatch door. Marinette grabs her blanket hurriedly to cover herself in shame.
“Mari, I’m worried about you.” She recognizes the voice as her sweet, caring, loving, so undeserving of every bad thing that’s happened to him, boyfriend, Adrien. A tear rolls down her face and down, adding another tear stain onto her pillow.
“I can hear you sniffling, hey whatever it is-“ Adrien walks up to the ladder of her bunkbed, “We can deal with it. Trust me, I’ll do anything to help you.” He states as calmly as he can. Truth is, Adrien has been concerned for a while too.
Alya and Nino had noticed too, but Marinette had waved them off saying it was just stress and not getting enough sleep. When Alya had asked Marinette privately if Ladybug was okay, she just got the generic answer Ladybug gave to all the news outlets— “There’s no need to worry about me, I’m just focused on keeping Paris and my team safe.”
Alix had visited her a couple days ago too, comforting a sobbing Marinette, whispering encouraging words. Although Alix was the only person who could ever truly understand what Marinette is going through, she had to keep her distance for the safety and balance of the universe.
Marinette turns over to face Adrien, slightly uncovering her face to see him. What she saw wasn’t her usual loving boyfriend, instead she saw his face full of worry, concerned over her and her stupid emotions. The sight made her feel the tears coming back, she held back by biting her lip as hard as she could.
“Can I come up? Please?” Adrien pleaded, she nodded her head hesitantly. Adrien climbed up her bed ladder, sitting on her bed as she made room for him.
“Adrien I’m- I’m so sorry for this.” Marinette whispered as she looked down at his lap in shame, still mostly covered by her blanket. “Hey hey, it’s okay. Let me see your face, I’ve always loved looking at your face.” Adrien said softly as he reached for the blanket, uncovering her face. He had expected to find Marinette is disarray, but it hit harder to actually see her with his own eyes.
“We’ve been through this before Mari, you know I love you. You can tell me anything or nothing. But please, don’t hide away here alone.” Adrien said to her, softly lifting her face to meet eye to eye. He felt Marinette shake and begin to cry again, yet no tears came out.
“Adrien, I- I can’t do this anymore. The pressure, the responsibility, the work load, it’s just too much for me. I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried everything and anything to help, but nothing does.” Marinette cries out softly. “I don’t even have the energy to go to school anymore.” She sighs. “You’re the one who lost everything and I’m here complaining about dumb stuff, I’m sorry Adrien.”
“What are you apologizing for Mari, we all have our limits. What I’m going through doesn’t diminish the fact that you’re struggling.” Adrien says in a serious tone, lifting Marinette to sit up. He takes his hands away from her face, leaving her missing the warmth of his hands. But it’s short lived as her grabs her hands instead.
“No matter what, I’ll always be here for you. Even if I’m hurting too.” He says as he stares into her eyes, she sees nothing but care and concern in them.
“I wish I could make this all go away for the both of us. All I want is for us to be okay.”
“It will be Mari, we’ll be alright. I promise.”
“You promise?”
“Promise.”