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Have you heard? Mika Kagehira killed himself.
–Oh, he's the guy who performs alongside Shu in Valkyrie. He wasn't that special apart from those eyes so no wonder he's only recognized when Shu's mentioned.
He wasn't my favorite, but I guess I'm still pretty sad.
What? I didn't know him personally so it's not like I have to feel pity. I liked him, but he was just… there. As I said, I'm still sad.
I mean…he was a human, and what if Valkyrie disbands? I just hope Shu continues, I really like Valkyrie.
Oh, no, he probably will continue. I witnessed the funeral and it wasn't crowded at all. There were two people so I dunno, probably his parents.
My point is- Shu wasn't there so maybe Mika wasn't all that important anyways? I mean he probably had friends, but if someone's unlikeable then…
Okay, okay! Maybe I'm being disrespectful but it's not online so I won't get attacked or anything, I'm allowed to speak my mind. It's not that deep bro…
But yeah, it was unfortunate. Pretty unexpected if you ask me.
The water's gone cold.
Mika turned the water off and stepped out of the shower. He took a towel but felt pretty tired, so he sat down on the rug and wrapped himself up in the white towel.
Kagehira? That bigshot idol? He's a weirdo. The fame probably got to his head so he probably doesn't know how embarrassing he acts. It's all thanks to Itsuki anyway. He's really unlikeable.
Me? Oh, I'm just another idol under the same agency. I've never spoken to Kagehira but he's genuinely such a pushover. When I spoke to him and mentioned my hobbies he just agreed with everything so we have something in common.
Oh, no, I wish I was misinterpreting. He does this with other people too. Kinda sad how he tries to be all liked by others yet is still being viewed as annoying by everyone. But I mean…I don't really give a shit about him. Seeing him pisses me off though, how are you this oblivious to how dense you are?
…He's dead? Oh, suicide…? Uhm, my bad. Rest in peace.
All dried up now.
Mika put his clean clothes on, feeling fresh from the shower. He's at it again, imagining his own death. He knew he was an idol so some people must've liked him, but he still felt… His thoughts are being too loud.
He's okay, but he was a bit much sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I didn't mind being around him but it was just a lot to handle. I would make an excuse and leave before I even know it.
Okay…I know he's dead and all but I mean– it's kind of on him? He never tries to get better and he makes it annoying for the people around him.
Don't look at me like that…! I wasn't his friend, why do you expect me to act differently now that he's dead? I'm not being disrespectful.
Okay, I get it, I get it. He's dead though, so at least I didn't say this when he was alive.
Hm…I guess, yeah, sorry…Actually, I'll leave flowers, the flower shop is on the way to the cemetery.
His handwriting was shaky.
He felt a sob climb up his throat, maybe he should write faster.
Yes, I…I heard.
Didn't know him but really, I wish he had said something. I'm not good with words, but…at least he would've known he had someone there for him.
Too bad he already blocked out the scenarios in his thoughts.
…
Please don't dislike me.
Please attend my funeral.
Don't forget me. I beg you.
I swear I tried to get better, but- hic- I was scared.
Will I become unimportant if I'm healthy? I don't wanna be left alone.
Don't leave me alone.
So please attend my funeral, please don't forget me.
I tried to be liked, I wanted to be nice…I never tried to be annoying.
I wish I was more than a pair of heterochromic eyes.
My eyes feel like they're burning.
…!!!
Flying wasn't something he thought about often.