Chapter Text
“We have to go back?” Drizzt asked, pensively.
He had woken up in this forest not a few moments ago, elated to see his old companions again. The last thing he remembered before then was laying on Bruenor's climb, the snow and ice biting at his skin. He had thought this little paradise, this forest was his afterlife, his gift for a good life well lived. However short it might have been by elven standards.
But then Catti-brie explained why they had all been gathered to one place, why Bruenor and Wulfgar weren't feasting in the halls of their gods and why they had to go back, what Mielikki had sensed and wanted from them.
“We don’t have to” the woman corrected, placing a comforting hand on Drizzt's arm, like she used to in while they were living, he could feel her warmth and melted into it, “We can enter the pool and go to just rewards, the people whom we love who went before us are waiting for us. As are our chosen gods.” Drizzt saw Wulfgar’s gaze shift towards the pool,
“And we’d be right to walk away now, if we wanted. We had our adventure;
Our names are spoken in stories and legends from Mithral Hall to Icewind Dale, and along the sword coast.” Catti-brie continued, she stood in front of the rest of the group between them and the pool now, “People will speak of Wulfgar son of Beornegar, Mighty dragon slayer;” she said, gesturing towards them all,
“Of Bruenor Battlehammer, King of Mithral Hall. And of Regis and of Me and especially of Drizzt Do’urden; you, who proved drow are more than what anyone said they were, you were better than most, you’ve earned your rightful rest. You all have.” Drizzt shifted uncomfortably, casting his gaze downward.
“But, you’re going back.” Wulfgar stated, “because Mielikki said so, without telling you anymore than that.”
“She doesn’t know anymore,” Catti-brie said, exasperated. She had told Wulfgar this many times before Drizzt woke up in the forest, “only that there is a great shadow in the future, and she thinks we can help. Drizzt especially,”
“No pressure then” Drizzt mumbled, scoffing. “In the century since you left my side, the world has changed. Some for the better, I'm sure, but it seemed only for the worse as far as I could see.. Though maybe it was just the company I kept.”
“What do ya mean Drizzt?” Bruenor asked,
“After you died in Gauntlgrym, I was lost and heart broken, Dahlia took advantage of my weakness. she….used me,” his voice trailed off briefly as he admitted to his companions what he had barely had time to admit to himself. He pushed past the sick feeling in his gut and continued,
“-It was Dahlia who ultimately killed me, though I dealt her a blow she won't soon forget…” Drizzt ran a hand through his thick hair, the sharp memory of the blow to his head made him wince but he was able to shake it off.
Bruenor harrumphed and crossed his arms over his chest, “never liked that elf lass,” he muttered. “but I can see how she might have lured you in, I'm sorry, my friend; that I wasn't there to help ye.”
Drizzt shook his head and smiled sadly to Bruenor “there is no need for you to apologise, my friend. My actions, or lack thereof, were my own to make. Under her influence… I did things I regret, and I didn’t do things I should have done. I don’t think Ten Towns will tolerate the name Drizzt Do’urden being uttered for some time, like you believe they will Catti-brie. Like I said, a century has come and gone since those better days.”
“Perhaps. …but perhaps a second chance will help right those wrongs?” Catti-brie suggested, hopefully.
The group waited, talking amongst themselves, while Drizzt thought about what it meant to return to the land of the living, to be reborn. Could he really just start again? Pick up where he left off when it suited him? Could he fix his previous mistakes?…it felt a little too good to be true; To be the Companions of the Hall, together again. There was so much to consider. His childhood, his race….
“You say we will return. Looking as we are with all our memories intact?” Drizzt asked finally.
“Yes, I believe so, “ Catti-brie said, “though our parents may have some influence in appearance, we'll look pretty much as we did in life. As they aren't our actual parents, their influence will be limited, ”
Regis wrinkled his nose at that idea, “maybe not to us. But they won't know we are reborn” he crossed his arms over his chest thoughtfully, “we’ll be affecting so many other lives;”
'' They will give up a great deal to raise us and protect us. Imagine how you would feel if your child turned to you and said you weren't their real parent, even after you carried them in your own body. Even if it was the will of the gods. I’d still be pretty heartbroken” the halfling had a good point, they would be affecting the lives of others by returning, and may even alter their lives entirely. Catte’brie opened her mouth to speak but Drizzt beat her to it.
“Maybe yours might,” Drizzt said, drawing attention back to him.“ I want nothing more than a second chance at life, to be of use to my Goddess, but you're asking me to potentially go back to Menzoberranzan. Or Ched Nasad, or another drow city, I could be born a third son again and be sacrificed to Lolth full knowing what is happening. Or I could be saved and know that another drow died in my place, like my brother Nalfein already has. I’d be forced to fight and to kill just to satisfy the political aspirations whatever Matron had me” he took a breath, his eyes glistening as spoke, Drizzt did his best to blink the tears away, unwilling to admit to himself how much of an effect his upbringing had, had on him. He looked down as he spoke further, avoiding his companions' steady pitying eyes.
“What use to Mielikki am I; if I am killed before I can lift a blade. What if…” Drizzt started to shake, for years he and pushed down the thoughts of his childhood, the memories of that dark place and it was all coming back now with the prospect of returning to it
“I don’t know if I can stomach the bite of another whip. Or the years of indoctrination, standing in a hall of other drow boys, day after day, being told about the evils of the surface, of my cousin elves, or humans, and other races. Knowing what I know now… who I've known,”
Drizzts companions listened as he started to weep, fear driving him to act uncharacteristically. They could all tell how conflicted Drizzt was with the idea of returning; He wanted desperately to return, to be with Catti-brie knowing she would do as Mielikki asked without question, what kind of coward was he to baulk at an opportunity to return to Faerun and be with his friends again?
Wulfgar put his hand on Drizzt's trembling shoulder, attempting to comfort his friend,
“I too am hesitant, my friends.” the large man said quietly “not for the same reasons as Drizzt. But still hesitant all the same. I lived a full life, I had a wife, children and grandchildren, and a great grandchild before I died. It would be wonderful to be reborn among my descendants. But I miss my family, they are waiting for me, Mielikki is not my goddess, she is yours”
His grip tightened on Drizzt's shoulder. “But.. I can see the turmoil in Drizzt's heart. If he chooses to return. Knowing what may await him. Who am I to go to paradise, what kind of friend will I be? Drizzt, if you return to Faerun. I will do the same”
“Aye” Bruenor agreed “my ancestors are waiting, and I owe Mielikki this chance to see me Girl and me friends again, but she is not my Goddess. I’ll go for my friends. And my friends only.”
Catti-brie remained silent, her eyes closed as if communing with an unseen advisor. It took a little while for Drizzt to regain his composure, even with his friends gathered around offering support. He had fallen back into a headspace he thought he had left decades ago. He was experiencing fear he thought he had forgotten.
Finally Catti-brie spoke up, with a surety in her voice,
“You don’t have to return with me, Meilikki will not force any of us to go, of course.. She cannot control where we are reborn. But she will do what she can to protect us. We just need to trust her, and ourselves”
The companions were silent as they listened, Catti-brie had such conviction and was ready to march back towards the unknown without them if she needed to. They all knew it.
“How will we meet?” Regis asked tentatively
“On our twenty-first birthday, in Icewind Dale,” Catti-brie said
Drizzt laughed then, chasing the last of his tears from his eyes with his thumb as he did so “twenty one, by elven standards, I'll barely be considered teenager” he smiled weakly “this sounds like it would be quite the adventure”
“And quite the story to tell to one another when we meet each other again” Regis beamed
“So… in theory..” Wulfgar rubbed his chin as if in deep thought “Drizzt would be the youngest of us, at least by racial standards” Drizzt bumped his elbow into Wulfgars chest playfully, they both laughed together.
“Aw,” Catti-brie teased him, her voice catching in a northern lilt again that made Drizzts heart flutter “Oh I hope I get to meet ye when you're a wee elf still”
“Wee elf” Drizzt parroted with a chuckle and a final relieving sigh, “so how do we do this. Just walk back into the forest?” he asked,
“Aye,”
Drizzt looked between his friends, all in agreement and nodded, “let's be off then” with that, the Companions of the Hall walked together into the light between the trees.
The tranquillity of the forest vanished around the companions abruptly, and Drizzt felt his stomach lurched as if he had just jumped from a cliff edge. Lost in the blinding light Drizzt could feel Catte-bries hand being ripped from his own. He called out for her but he could no longer hear his own voice as his soul stretched and twisted as it was hurtled through space, he saw stars and lands, briefly catching glimpses of towns and cities, ones he knew, like Lusken, and Neverwinter, further and further south he travelled, for a moment he thought he saw Regis zip past him to the south east but he could do nothing to reach out to his friend, nothing to stop himself from flying through the world at a speed no one was ever meant to travel and in a way he couldn't fully comprehend. Drizzt could only close his eyes and pray, pray it would stop, pray he was born again into a better world. A kinder world.
Awareness returned in fleeting moments, he couldn't tell how much time had passed at first or where he was, For a time, Drizzt couldn't even remember who he was. He simply drifted in peaceful bliss, dreaming of his adventures with his dear friends and listening to the gentle thumping lullaby of his little cocoon
Slowly Drizzts dreams shifted, He saw a woman gently combing her fingers through his hair comfortingly, he could never quite see her face but he knew his mother. He felt the connection between them and knew her. His mother sang for him and he sometimes heard a lute in the distance. And he knew that was his father joining in on his mothers song. She encouraged Drizzt to dance with her in his dreams while his father played their song.
…It was perfect for a time.
until his mothers heart was pumping far too fast far too often and the calming peace around him seemed to shift and turn. They were moving more and it was uncomfortable, and then it felt like blankets had been ripped from his naked form, he gasped, panicked, and choked. Drizzts world contracted around him and he remembered where he was and what was actually happening.
He felt the contractions, His mothers heart quickening, her blood pulsing in his ears like a drum beat. It felt like it was going on for hours, days even. He felt something hit him abruptly, no, something hit mother!
Drizzt started to panic further, he could hear loud muffled noises and couldn’t focus on any of it, but he could feel the urgency in his mother and those around her, the same urgency that he felt. He needed to get out, he needed to breathe!
He felt the sting of something pass him as it was stabbed into his mother, it severed him from her. Drizzt tried crying out for his mother, but fluid blocked his throat. What in the hells happened? This wasn’t right! He felt something pulling at him, grabbing his leg.
Oh, gods… Drizzt could do nothing, nothing against being pulled away from his mother, nothing to aid his mother as she weakened, he could feel her pain, her screams reverberating through his body she screamed for him, screamed for someone to save him. He wanted it to stop and he begged the world and the gods for it all to stop!
Then he was free, he took a watery breath and gurgled, cough and then another breath, he couldn’t see what was happening, he wanted to know who birthed him, was she ok? he wanted to know where he had been born, what house? What City? Everywhere was too loud, screaming and banging around him, the clanking of metal against metal.. He didn’t open his eyes even as he was handed from one pair of hands to the next, Drizzt was too scared of what he would see. He just tried to focus on his breathing, deep coughing, breaths, as he braced himself for the cold stone of a pedestal, the bite of a dagger. anything…
But nothing happened. Eventually he was just too exhausted to keep up with what was going on, and fell into a fitful dreamless sleep.
When Drizzt could next open his eyes he was pressed against the breast of a drow woman, her face was too close and blurry for him to really see and he felt too weak to move and struggle away from her grasp. Not the baby he was wanted too, the smell of food was too good. He was starving and weak.
This routine happened often. He’d sleep dreamlessly for a long time and only wake occasionally while being fed or when he could feel the familiar threads of healing magic weave into his little form.
In those few sparse moments, Drizzt understood the woman who held him was not his mother and that this new body he had was unwell. He could pick up a piece of conversation he had to concentrate to understand.
“It's a miracle”
“But he’s still so small”
“Too early”
“...Wont give up on him”
Why would they waste so much energy on a male child? He was still so scared but he was so weak, so small he could do nothing. Nothing, but cry.
He didn’t want to cry, but one day big tears and little whimpers shook his tiny form; he hiccuped and squeezed his lavender eyes shut trying to fight his body.
God’s he was so scared, so confused by this new life, and could hardly move to do anything about it. How could he help Catti-brie like this-
A familiar but raspy humming distracted Drizzt from his building panic and pulled him towards the world around him again; Drizzt was surprised he recognised the male voice as his fathers. He realised he had heard that voice a million times and he couldn't understand why his father would have any access to a baby, males should not even know who their fathers were…
“hey little one…” Drizzt felt himself be picked up, the drow holding him rocked gently side to side. “Please don’t start crying now when I have only just managed to dry my own tears” the male half chuckled trying to lighten his own mood.
“You’ve barely opened your eyes since that day, little one. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry you must be so scared. But please believe me when I say our world is beautiful” Drizzt wanted to believe him, but the fear that had rocked his body over and over was eating at him so strongly, and he didn’t have Catti-brie or any of his friends to help him through it.
“you are not without love, I promise. I swore to your mother you’d have a better life than I did. And I swear to you to uphold that promise. I’ll protect you. I’ll protect you…” the voice of his father was so sincere it wasn’t like anything he heard from Zaknafein. Zaknafein had not been a gentle man, gentleness got a drow killed, and yet here was this male, This new father. Making promises and swaying back and forth trying to soothe Drizzts aching heart.
Maybe he had been born in a better place, but what kind of better place would start so violently? Once again Drizzt was born at the cost of another life and this time it was his mother, he would never know her and she was the only person he wanted at that moment. He couldn’t take it. It wasn’t fair.
But there was nothing he could do about it, was there? Not in this state, not when he was this small and already barely clinging to life
He was alive however. He was alive, and he wasn’t entirely alone…
Finally, reluctantly Drizzt opened his eyes to see the man holding him. lavender eyes, met maroon ones for the first time since his birth. His father’s face was soft, and wet with his own tears.
But his smile, it was wide and pure. Drizzt’s little body trembled as fresh tears started to rock his tiny frame.
relief.
“Come now, I can’t be that ugly” the drow laughed even as he cried himself, The drow eventually crumpled to the floor barely holding himself up against the crib, still holding his baby tightly in his arms as they both cried.
When the wet nurse returned she found the man and his premature baby boy in his arms, Both sound asleep.
As the weeks went by and as Drizzt grew stronger a lot changed in his little world; He learned that his fathers name was Saphrin. He didn’t know his mothers name, Saphrin couldn’t bring himself to say it. Which Drizzt understood. He felt the same about Catti-brie when she first passed.
Drizzt also discovered that the wet nurse that fed him wasn’t just his wet nurse; She was his aunt, Chendra. Sister to his mother. Chendra was soft spoken and would sing to Drizzt quietly.
Her husband on the other hand hadn’t quite learned how to lower his voice around new babies yet, and though Drizzt never saw him, he knew Quevven’s voice and the sweet smelling food he often brought with him for Saphrin. He also learned there was another child, his cousin, in the home but he had never seen them. Drizzts new family were isolating him for his safety apparently.
All of this Drizzt learned while mostly from his cot or while he was in his fathers arms. listening as best as he could to conversations that were had around him. It helped that his Father talked to him often, about mundane day to day things mostly, about the laundry, or the meal he was cooking. He kept his son involved even though the baby couldn't talk back.
beyond the frequent visitors from family, the healer visited them once a day, inspecting Drizzts little body and giving him medicines or using magic
He tried to listen to what the healer would say to his father about him. Only catching snippets to piece together his traumatic premature birth;
“He's finally coming up to the correct weight for his age.” he heard the healer tell his father one day. “And there are no signs of lasting injuries from the attack.”
Drizzt heard Saphryn release a held breath, and breathed his own.
After another tenday Drizzts health improved enough to allow more visitors. Friends of Saphrin. They came with gifts; Clothes, food, even toys. Drizzt was passed around the group as they cooed at him;
It felt rather strange to be complimented so much for his nose, his hands, His feet and even his tiny nails by so many strangers.
he couldn't keep up with all the new faces. They were all drow, all smiling with a pure joy that Drizzt hadn’t often seen from his race.
Drizzt was also aware that whenever he was passed around Saphrin was near, a worried expression on his gentle face, the male was not quite willing to give up his child to visitors
“He has his mothers eyes,” one woman said with excited awe, as she gazed at Drizzt.
Another woman nodded wisely “Lavender, a sign of good fortune” Drizzt hadn’t realised another drow could be born with eyes like his, was it a chance that his mother had the same purple colouring? Or fate?
“Or a sign of a mischievous soul, depends who you ask” that voice Drizzt recognised, Quevvin. Drizzt finally landed into his uncle's large arms, and caught site of his uncle's goofy broad smile as the man used an Owlbear plush to make funny noises for the baby
Drizzt felt the giggle bubbling up and allowed it, Not that he could stop the childish instincts that controlled his new little body.
“Do you have a name yet?” one woman asked his father, and Drizzt was no longer focusing on the owlbear plush that was being waved in front of him. Drizzt hadn’t realised that his father hadn’t named him yet…
Saphrin hesitated “Chel, had one she loved” he said softly, and the room grew quiet. “When he is presented for the blessing I’ll say it. But not a moment before.”
“Only a tenday to go, we can wait until then, '' another guest said. '' we trust trust Chelrys' judgement” Saphrin smiled and reached for Drizzt, who had pinned his father with a stare, Drizzt reached out as well grabbing the tip of Saphrins finger. Their guests cooed and Saphrin smiled fondly at his son.
His mothers name was Chelrys… Drizzt thought about it long after the guests left, he thought about what Catti-brie said. How their parents weren’t really their parents, He then thought of Regis, And…then, then he imagined the pain in Saphrin's eyes if he refused whatever name his mother had in mind for him..
Chelrys had given her life to bring him into this world again. Sometimes, Drizzt swore he could hear her voice while he slept; His infant reverie filled with fresh memories of his mothers warmth in ways he never would have understood had he not been an old soul in a new body.
Yes, he thought, Whatever name she chose. He would cherish it.
A Tenday passed and the healer gave Drizzt a clean bill of health, much to both his own and Saphrin’s relief, and to prove as much Drizzt could almost lift his legs high enough to see his little feeties that the adults had cooed over so much.
One morning Saphrin woke up to see Drizzt mid stretching and chuckled warmly
“You’ll be a dancer for sure” the male commented picking his son up, “today's the day you get your name. Excited?”
Drizzt had grown like a weed in the past ten days alone able to just about hold his own head up now, and he was practising what noises he could make as well, he babbled excitedly to his father while he was dressed in his best baby grown, the one with the least spit up on it.
He wasn't proud of the fact that he sometimes couldn’t keep milk down, but Drizzt had long come to terms with the fact that there were some things he just had no control over.
For the first time in his new life Drizzt was carried from their little home, which seemed to have actually been an annex to a larger building carved into the cave wall. Drizzt realised that the rest of the cavern they lived in was just as bright as his home, there were glowing flowers everywhere, and blue fairy fire atop high pedestals in the distance giving the whole place an otherworldly glow. Drizzt babbled excitedly, looking forward to the day when his legs would be strong enough to allow him to explore on his own. He wanted to know more about his new home.
Eventually they entered a large chamber with dozens of other drow, a few faces Drizzt recognized as they cooed at him. But most he didn’t recognize as Saphrin walked to the very front of the crowd, where his Aunt and Uncle met them with their own baby boy.
Drizzt was too awestruck by everything around him to really pay attention to what was happening. But he was pulled back to focus when the woman who was speaking on the dias in front of the crowd commented;
“Well Saphrin it appears you have a singer on your hands” the crowd chuckled and Drizzt realised he had been babbling loudly while this woman, this priestess, was doing a sermon of some kind.
“He dances too” Saphrin said with a proud smile
The priestess smiled with him and motioned for him to step forward, and Drizzt was held over a basin.
“Eilistraee” the woman said as Drizzt looked up at the priestess and his father and then passed them to a large statue of a naked drow woman holding a sword. Eilistraee.. He was in a temple of Eilistraee… that.. It made so much sense now. That answered so many questions he had.
“Bless this babe,” the priestess ran a line of holy water over his head and then bathed his already messy white hair in the water. She said some other words Drizzt couldn't hear, his focus was on the statue of Eilistraee looking down at him, he swore the carved knowing smile grew broader as she gazed down at him.
“What is the child's name?” Drizzt was brought back to the present as Saphrin held him up high, so he could see the many, many drow looking up at him expectantly,
“Jaskier!”
The crowd cheered Drizzts new name loudly, then the crowd started to sing, play music and began to dance. They were celebrating him; For a second time that day Drizzt was caught up in the moment, he never thought he would have a moment like this. acceptance among his people as a community, And his name!
Jaskier. His name was Jaskier, the name his mother had picked out..he liked that name.
Saphrin carefully lowered his son and stepped down from the altar, allowing the other drow to step forward and congratulate them and introduce themselves to the newest member of their community.
Jaskier once again found himself being passed around, with each drow giving their own blessing, a holy symbol had been draped around his neck resting on his stomach. Drow patted it or pressed a coin into his hand, for luck and fortune.
When he was finally back in his fathers arms there was a feast happening, without Teeth he couldn’t join in but he could watch his father sample some of the food, and drink the wine, and laugh with his friends.
The final surprise came when his Aunt Chendra and Uncle Quevvin approached holding their own child,
“I’m so glad they can finally meet,” Quevvin said excitedly. He held his own son close to Jaskier “Ellas this is your cousin, Jaskier! We told you about him, remember?”
The larger baby stared at Jaskier with a with a wide eyed stare almost like he was sizing Jaskier up, like a competitor, Drizzt met him with his own defiant one untill Ellas reached out to touch him, Jaskier squirmed.
“He’s small so be gentle ok” Chen reminded her son and Ellas' grab for Jaskiers downy hair turned into an awkward pet instead.
“BAB!” the boy announced finally, seemingly concluding that he liked this new addition to their family. Jaskier wasn’t as convinced, however. Ellas’s hand had been sticky and now there was sticky in his hair, And his father was too busy laughing to notice!
“They’ll be close as brothers when they are older, I'm sure” Saphrin said, as he watched Jaskier scrunched his little face and stare at his wean brother incredulously.
“I hope so,” Chen agreed as she struggled to pull Ellas away from poking Jaskier more.
As the day progressed Drizzt had several naps and each time he woke up Saphrin was further into his cups. But still holding his son carefully and tightly enough not to lose balance. Though eventually Chen had to take him away from his father, for a feeding and to be put down back home.
Jaskier couldn’t sleep a wink; he was too buzzed up and excited. He had a name. He was a part of a community that loved him, his father loved him. He had an aunt and uncle who loved him and he had a cousin! The relief was almost overwhelming.
All his worries had been washed away with the holy water, he didn’t care what Catti-brie said. This was his family. Yes he still had his companions. He still remembered Zak and Mooshi and everyone in his life who he loved. But he would not forsake this community for his past. He would not forsake the name his mother gave him. A name given with love. Not for sacrifice.
Finally Saphrin and Quevvin stumbled home and Chen laughed at the state of them distracting Drizzt from practising his kicks.
“thank you for bringing him home for me” he could hear Saphrin hiccup as he spoke, and reaching into the small bassinet jaskier had been placed
“Oh please no need for that,” Chendra waved Saphrins thanks away, and helped him stumble from her home to his annex.
“You really have been so good to me-us”
“How could I abandon my sister's husband and child, hm? You’re family Saphrin. always will be.”
Saphrin smiled appreciatively as Chen helped him place Jaskier in his cot.
He heard his father and aunt leave and bid one another goodnight.
Saphrin stumbled his way back to the cot, the man held onto the wood and got to his knees, leaning against it so he could peer inside without losing his balance. A fresh goofy smile spread across his face
“Jaskier~ my little dancer,” Drizzt babbled up at his father, thoroughly amused by how disheveled he looked “still awake and ready to go huh?, guess today was exciting for both of us. What do you think of your name?”
Drizzt babbled and cooed again approvingly, “your mother was great at naming things, She loved you so.. So so much.” Saphrin sighed wishfully, “I wish you could see her, when I first saw her she stole my breath. Dancing in a field under the moonlight”
Saphrin raised a hand up as if to grasp something “I had just made it out of the Underdark, I probably looked awful compared to her ahah” Drizzt listened to his fathers drunk rambles as the man rocked from side to side, resting his cheek against against the cot,
“It was awful, and it was dark. I had been so loyal up until the.n believed every word of the Matrons, up until they gathered us all up… they wanted to sacrifice us. An entire graduating group from Magthere as retribution for something Drizzt Do’urden had done” Saphrin scowled at the memory surfacing in his mind,
Jaskier felt his joy be replaced with confused dread as his father spoke, but then he noticed his fathers grin.
“-I’ll tell you all the stories I know about him, don’t you worry, he’s the reason you’re here after all.” Sephrin winked at Jaskier and reached out to stroke down his son’s messy white hair, Jaskier felt himself calm a little, but knew he could not stop his fathers drunk rambles. Only listen to him open his heart to a baby, assuming the baby would forget everything spoken…
“ I still don’t quite know how I escaped, but I did. For a while I cursed Do’urden. I lost everything; my family and my life, my faith, everything, The Matron made it out that he was the reason we were being killed, but that was just an excuse… they just wanted the excuse.… But then I saw the sunrise and I met your mother and I realised… it wasn’t him. He was a good drow who just wanted to be free from all that. And I wanted to be a good drow too. Your mother taught me to dance and sing, and taught me how to protect others with the skills I had but.. But I-. Gods I wish she were here.”
Sephrin started to weep silently “ in the end I couldn’t protect her when they attacked us… we barely got you out… I nearly lost you both” Sephrin sobbed “I promise.,.. I promise Jaskier, I won't let you down.. I’ll teach you to be good. Like your mother. Like Do’urden, you’ll be better than me I promise” Sephrin reached forward and kissed the top of Jaskiers head gently, brushing away the tears that had fallen against the baby's cheeks. pulling his son toward sleep by stroking his cheeks
“My little dancer. Jaskier, I love you so much.”