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The smell of cigarette smoke settling in Natalie’s room is nothing new. What is new, however, is the circumstances surrounding it.
To put it shortly, Natalie got dumped for Jeff fucking Sadecki. And, no, she still isn’t over it.
“Nat, I’m serious! It’s not you, I just-“
“You just what? You just need to end this for a guy who doesn’t even fucking like you?” Nat shouted, trying to make Jackie realize what she was doing.
Something about those words set Jackie off, and she shot up from her spot on Natalie’s bed, which Natalie herself had done already in her fit of anger.
”You think I want to do this? I love you, Natalie! But this just isn’t working for me!”
”If you didn’t want to do this, you wouldn’t be doing it!”
“Oh what-fucking-ever. I’m not gonna argue about this with you, it’s over.” Jackie snarked, tugging her hoodie over her head.
Natalie wanted to scream until she couldn’t anymore, but instead could only say three words.
“Fuck you, Jackie.”
After a while, Natalie got tired of wallowing in self-pity and decided to pick up her phone.
She dialed the first pinned number in her contact, the first one after Jackie at-least
Natalie can’t find it in herself yet to delete her contact.
After a few rings, she hears a voice on the other line.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Lott.”
“Oh shit, what’s up Nat?” Lottie exclaimed brightly.
“Is ‘wanting to play soccer on the freeway’ a proper answer?” Nat sarcastically replied.
She heard a scoff on the other line “Is this just gonna be you moping about your sad gay relationship again?”
“Sad gay breakup, actually.” She corrected.
“And for your information, i’m not moping. I’m just reminding you of its absurdity!” Natalie added, her accent becoming slightly stronger as she got more emotional.
“Whatever! I have to go anyways, some dinner bullshit my parents are making me go to. I’ll talk to you later, okay?” Lottie muttered, and Natalie can hear the eye-roll in her voice as if she was looking at her in person.
Before Natalie could respond, the line went dead and she was left alone with her own thoughts again.
Maybe, that’s just the way it’s meant to be.
Jackie has been taking things well. At least, that’s what she would say.
To everyone else, though, she’s seemed abso-fucking-lutely miserable.
Ever since she got with Jeff, her life has been completely and utterly mundane.
When Jackie told her parents about her new boyfriend, they were thrilled. Almost immediately, they suggested inviting the Sadecki’s over for dinner.
And like clockwork, that was the night Jackie realized Jeff just wanted to get her clothes off…gross.
Honestly, Jackie doesn’t understand why that idea bothers her so much. She never minded doing things like that before, like she did with Nat.
“It shouldn’t be any different than that, should it?”
“Maybe it wouldn’t be, if you actually liked Jeff.” Tai stated with an unreadable tone, who since the breakup had been spending lots of time around Jackie when she wasn’t with Van.
Jackie spun on her heels urgently. “I do like Jeff!“ She defended “Things are just confusing, Tai. You know that.” She continued, sounding unsure in her own words.
Tai raised an eyebrow, practically staring a hole into Jackie’s skull.
“Be honest with yourself, Jackie. When’s the last time you kissed him?”
Before she could respond, Tai continued “And I don’t mean the last time he kissed you.”
Jackie crossed her arms over her chest, groaning as she started pacing across her bedroom.
“Okay, fine! Maybe I’m not, like, obsessed with him. But so what? Even if I don’t wanna kiss him, that doesn’t mean anything!” She began rambling off reasons that could cause this, but Tai just shook her head dejectedly.
“Jackie. Do you seriously not see what the real reason is?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Jackie, I hate to break it to you, but I think you’re just not into guys.” Tai sighed, like it was obvious.
Jackie let out an incredulous laugh, despite finding nothing funny.
“Seriously, Tai? I know i’ve… messed around, with girls before, but that doesn’t make me lesbian!”
“Jackie, you were with Natalie for six months.”
Jackie stilled at the name, before running her hand through her hair.
“Okay, but my parents love Jeff! Plus, I can’t just go ‘Heyyy, Jeff! Guess what, i’m still not over my lesbian relationship from a few months back, sorry!’ and pretend nothing ever happened!” Jackie exclaimed with frustration.
“Jackie, you can’t just-“ Tai cut herself off as she heard a ding! from her phone.
“Shit! I’ve gotta go, Jackie. Van needs a ride.” She rushed around, collecting her things and grabbing her keys from Jackie’s beside table.
“If you really wanna be happy, though, you need to stop playing pretend as a straight girl. Plus, isn’t your parent’s big party happening in a few days? Just get Natalie to show up, and go from there!”
“…Whatever, Tai. See you around.”
Natalie scoffed at the letter she received in the mail. Her mom didn’t bother to check the mail anymore, so it became routine to grab it everyday.
You’re Invited!
Please consider coming to this year’s annual house party at the Taylor’s residence!
Date: May 4th, 2025
From : Jaqueline Taylor
To : The Scatorccio family
Natalie knew this invitation wasn’t to her family. Nobody in Wiskayok saw the Scatorccio’s as anything but trailer trash.
What caught her eye was the name it was signed by.
Natalie quickly stormed towards her room, not stopping to check on her mom. After she stared at the invitation for a few minutes, her leg began bouncing up and down.
With an uncertainty that she couldn’t find reason for, she tossed the letter onto her nightstand. The paper floated down, guiding her eyes to her ash tray.
It was apple red, and heart-shaped. It had been a gift from Jackie for her birthday last year. Honestly, she isn’t sure why she still has it.
She remembers the night they broke up, the urge to pick up the ash tray and launch it towards the wall.
She never had the guts to really do it.
Natalie picked her phone up and decided to consult Lottie by text.
“r u going to jackie’s party?”
Jackie sat on the back steps, wearing the new dress her mom had picked out for the occasion. She didn’t hate the thing, the color being a light green, going down to her ankles.
Jeff had gotten on her about it the night before, saying it showed too much skin for a big party.
She broke up with him that night, not caring much about letting him down gently.
Jackie didn’t have much faith that Nat would be there, knowing that if it were her she wouldn’t be caught dead showing up.
She was broken out of her own thoughts when she heard a familiar voice behind her.
“Well, don’t you look nice?” Nat muttered, not even trying to sound sincere.
Jackie flashed her a smile “Hey, Nat.”
She patted the spot next to her on the stairs, and tried to act normal about Natalie sitting so close that their shoulders touched.
…
“So, what’s this about?” Natalie finally asked, growing tired of the silence between them.
“I’m sorry.” Jackie blurted out.
“…What?”
“I know I fucked up, Natalie. Like, really bad. And I’m so sorry. I know you probably don’t give a shit and don’t wanna see my face, but if I’m being honest Nat? I never got over you—over us.”
Natalie stared at her dumbfounded.
Jackie began fidgeting with the strings tying her dress together, her eyes fixed on her off-white heels.
“Are you being serious?” Natalie questioned, but she didn’t sound upset. It was almost as if she was asking for permission.
Jackie just nodded, not looking up from the group beneath her.
“Well then,” Nat started “I guess we should get away from all the noise.” She rose to her feet, grabbing Jackie’s hand in the process.
Jackie stumbled a bit while standing, her feet hurting from being in high heels for so long. She let Natalie lead them both towards Jackie’s room, almost like it was muscle memory.
The further through the house they got, the quieter the buzz of the party became. When they reached Jackie’s room, the two girls made brief eye contact before Jackie locked the door.
Click!
Jackie looked back, and it finally registered how good Natalie looked. She had on a leopard print dress that cut off near her mid-thigh. Underneath the dress straps, you could see a line of red lace underneath.
Natalie made her way across the room and onto Jackie’s bed, making sure to kick her shoes off. She knew how particular Jackie was about stuff like that.
She sat down on the bed cross-legged, and leaned back a bit, scanning Jackie for a reaction.
Jackie soon followed suit, slipping off her heels and sitting next to Nat, propping herself up on her knees.
“Music?” Jackie questioned, raising an eyebrow at Nat, who nodded coolly.
She pulled out her phone, scrolling till she found spotify, and clicked on her playlist.
The first song that played was one Jackie had on repeat more than she would like to admit recently.
“Seriously?” Nat chuckled lightly “The Smashing Pumpkins? You kept that on your playlist?”
“I didn’t just add it for you! I’ll have you know I enjoy listening to them, thank you very much!” Jackie deflected, while Nat ignored the obvious lie.
‘I’ll sing for you, if you want me to.’
Jackie batted her eyelashes, though she could tell herself whether it had been intentional or not. She sent a longing gaze to Nat, who met her eyes and
‘I’ll give to you.’
Natalie moved her hand onto Jackie’s thigh, a touch that left a burning sensation.
It wasn’t bad touch, though. It was a burn that didn’t harm her, but one that woke her up. A feeling that gave her life again. She had been asleep, ignoring her truth for so long. She somehow wasn’t shocked that Natalie Scatorccio was the one to revive her.
‘And it’s a chance I’ll have to take.’
After a few moments of comfortable silence, Jackie leaned forward. She stopped herself though, looking into Natalie’s eyes.
“Do you want to?”
…
“Holy fuck, yes.”
‘And it’s a chance I’ll have to break.’
Taking the offer, Jackie continued leaning into Natalie until there was no space left between the two of them.
Natalie rubbed her hands down Jackie’s back, realizing how much she missed this. How much she missed her.
The scents of Natalie’s lingering cigarette smoke and Jackie’s Strawberry Pound Cake perfume mixed together, forming something familiar between the two of them, despite how distant they’d been the last two months.
Jackie locked her hands in Natalie’s hair, tugging it a bit in the heat of the moment. She had forgotten what it felt like to be so loved.
There was something so intoxicating about this feeling, for Jackie and Natalie. Both girls filled an aching void somewhere deep inside of eachother.
It was a part of Jackie she didn’t know she had until she ruined it for herself.
It was a pain Natalie had felt ever since the day she was born, even when she was on-and-off with Travis.
After tonight, it’s a pain they’ll eventually forget the feeling of.