Work Text:
2025 September 21st 15:24pm
The tiredness doesn't go away, the brainfog returns. This relapse may leave me messed up forever, but that's what you wanted right? I don't know what I want anymore. Constantly feeling judged because of paranoia, life isn't beautiful. Overflowing tasks and noises to loud for the brain are making me wonder if it's all worth it. Atleast I have friends nowadays, but we don't talk much. I wonder what's going on in your brain, but you won't tell me. I want to talk to you, but i'm bad at starting conversations, my voice trembles and my body is shaking. I'll say something but right after doing so i'll get asked to repeat what i was saying because 'i didn't hear you'. I'm sick of those people to be honest. I'm sick of loud people that treat me like i'm a toy, like i'm not worth anything. Maybe the loneliness and trauma has shaped me to be like this. But either way, i'm tired of being something i'm not. To my friend: Please talk to me, please tell me anything even if it's difficult. Maybe I shouldn't expect this much from you. I like being in your presence.
I don't care if anyone reads this, it's a way to clear my thoughts.
Sinking into depression, i dont know. My mood likes to change a lot, due to hormones. Nothing else.