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Ever since the scripts were handed out for the first season of the show Megumi had a weird feeling about this scene. When flipping through the script or rehearsing his lines he always found himself rushing through, or even completely avoiding, this exact part: Itadori’s death. Rationally, of course, he knew that Itadori wasn’t actually dead, they were just acting. It was all makeup and greenscreens – nothing to be anxious about. But that didn’t stop Megumi from breaking into a light sweat when it was finally time to film it.
“Megumi!! Are you ready to film this scene? It’s so cool isn’t it!!” Itadori called out, jogging up to him as water gently splashed below his feet. The scene they were filming takes place after the fight with the curse in the abandoned prison.
“Uh, yeah,” he answered nervously, and of course, Itadori picked up on it.
“You sure? You sound a bit off, do you want me to ask for a few more minutes before we start filming? Maybe you can take a seat and I’ll get you some water?” he asked, a bit of concern dripping at the end of his voice.
Megumi couldn’t stop the soft smile that crept onto his face, looking at Itadori like he held the stars and the sky without even realizing it, “No I’ll be alright, thank you though.” He could barely even remember what he was worried about in the first place.
Almost immediately a bright smile reappeared on Itadori’s face, “Yeah, of course!” That's what he loved about him.
“Alright everyone get in place we’re going to start in a few minutes!” Megumi heard the director call. Suddenly the sinking feeling was back, both in his heart and his gut.
Oh he was so fucked.
___
“I'm a Jujutsu Sorcerer, not a hero,” Megumi said, willing himself to repeat the lines he’s reluctantly rehearsed so many times. “In all this time, I’ve never once regretted saving you.”
Itadori laughs. It’s like music to Megumi’s ears but his heart aches. “Aha Right! You’re really a pretty smart guy Fushiguro.” Itadori says with a soft grin on his face, but all Megumi can think about is how badly he can’t stand seeing the gaping hole in Itadori’s chest ooze blood. “I know you’ve put a lot of thought into this, I think your conviction is a good one.” Megumi looks at Itadori with the fondest expression as he speaks, like it’s second nature. “But I don’t think mine is exactly wrong either.” The sound of blood splattering onto the ground is sickening. “Agh, sorry, I guess I’m done for. At least I won’t be here worrying about you anymore. Or Kugisaki. Or Gojo.” And as Itadori falls forward with his eyes rolling to the back of his skull, Megumi has to stop himself from yelling out his name and rushing forward to catch him. “I hope you live a long life.” His limp body hits the ground with a wet thud, painting the puddles on the floor red while forming its own pool of pure blood.
Megumi doesn’t make a move, he doesn’t even feel like he can. Instead, he tilts his head up towards the sky with his lips tightly pushed together and his teeth grit. His lips tremble as he shuts his eyes, trying his best to not make a sound. The rain is cool against his face but his eyes sting and his face feels hot. His chest is tight, unbearably so, and it feels like someone just carved out a part of his soul.
He hears the words, “CUT!” and opens his eyes, turning his face to the side and away from Itadori’s view as the pink haired man stands back up with a smile on his face that makes Megumi’s eyes sting and his vision blur even more. The water that runs down his face is salty, maybe he can get himself together and convince Itadori it’s rainwater before he worries him for no reason. He truly had no reason to be crying so why make a scene out of it?
But as Itadori comes and stands in front of him, calling out his name softly, “Megumi..?” he couldn’t help himself from covering his face completely, afraid that if he opened his eyes Itadori would still be dead on the ground. His breath hitches and a quiet sob falls from his lips. So much for schooling himself and being discreet.
Whatever's left of Itadori’s smile falls as his eyebrows furrow in concern, “Megumi? Hey, what’s wrong?” he asks quietly, trying to get a look at his face as steps in front of him, hovering his own hands over Megumi’s.
Megumi simply shakes his head, “It’s stupid,” is all he can muster in a voice that’s barely a whisper before it cracks.
“If it makes you upset it’s not stupid Megs. You…you don’t need to tell me anything just..” Itadori places his hands over the back of Megumi’s tentatively, watching for any reaction.
When Megumi’s hands flinch upon contact he draws his hands back and immediately a desperate whine comes from Megumi. He reaches his hands out almost frantically to grab Itadori’s hands, revealing his face. Itadori’s heart breaks at the sight of Megumi’s flushed face and red-rimmed eyes spilling tears, “Don’t go,” he sobs before hanging his head in shame, his hands clutching at Itadori’s like a lifeline.
Itadori doesn’t waste a second in reassuring him, “I’m not going anywhere, I’m right here,” and if that wasn’t enough to break Megumi completely then what he said next was, “I’ve got you.”
All of Megumi’s composure crumbles as he practically falls against Itadori, sobbing into the crook of his neck, his arms tightly wrapped around him like he’s afraid he’ll disappear, and Itadori doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around Megumi’s back, holding him just as tight as he trembles in his arms. “Yuji..” he says shakily in between cries, prompting Itadori to hold him tighter. He can feel Megumi’s tears hitting his skin and damp clothing against his chest.
“Let it out,” Itadori encourages, his hand moving from Megumi’s back to settle in his hair instead.
“I don’t know why I'm reacting like this,” Megumi tries explaining himself through his tears, “Yuji it hurts and I don’t know why,” his voice cracking as he screws his eyes shut and presses his face against Itadori further. “It’s like,” he pauses, trying to form the words, and Itadori waits patiently as he begins carding his fingers through Megumi’s wet hair. “I know that you’re ok. Logically. But I guess just…seeing you like that…on the ground and-” his voice trembles and he stops talking again, instead taking a deep breath.
“Can I say something..?” Itadori asks quietly, and Megumi simply nods against him. “This was a pretty heavy scene, it’s bound to take a toll on you if you’re getting into the mindset of the character,” Itadori comforts him, “If it helps, know that I’m not going anywhere, I’m not planning on it and I never will, I could never leave you Megs.” He feels Megumi smile a little bit against him, if that isn’t a victory he doesn’t know what is.
He continues to hold Megumi, “I could never live with myself if I did, which y'know, is kinda ironic considering what we just filmed,” Itadori says, a terrible attempt at trying to lighten the mood.
And Megumi agrees as he lets out a huff of a laugh and mutters, “Idiot,” despite the fondness in his tone and the small smile on his lips. Itadori mentally high fives himself as he smiles at Megumi brightly.
“You feeling better?” he asks carefully, afraid of rocking the boat.
“Yeah,” Megumi says, pulling back slightly to look Itadori in the eyes, and Itadori lifts his hand and cups Megumi’s cheek, wiping away whatever tear tracks were left behind before placing a gentle kiss on his forehead.
“Good,” Itadori replies after pulling back and taking another look at Megumi’s face, his cheeks slightly flushed but with affection instead of sorrow. “Come on, we should head back to the trailer and get dried up before we get sick.”
Megumi nods before pulling back completely and then immediately looping his fingers with Itadori’s. There’s a small smile on his face as he places a kiss on Itadori’s cheek, “Thank you, Yuji.”
Itadori laughs and Megumi’s soul feels full, “No need to thank me, I’m here anytime you need me, Megs.”
Megumi gives Itadori’s hand a gentle squeeze as they start walking back, and before long Itadori drags him into a jog as the rain picks up. Megumi goes along more than willingly, relishing in the sound of Itadori’s laugh, and content knowing that this is the man who holds his heart.