Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It hurt. It hurt so bad. God he should have never let it get this bad but he did.

There was only 3 minutes left on the timer and Shedletsky only had 20 health left. He had used up his chicken earlier while being chased by c00lkidd for half the round before guest showed up and distracted him so he could escape. He was currently trying to find Elliot so he could heal but no matter where he l ooked Elliot was nowhere to be seen.

“This is bullshit!, these stupid fucking wings are useless!” he said while trying to reach over his shoulder to try and help the itch where his wings were hidden just below his skin.

After another 30 seconds of trying to find Elliot, Shedletsky had run back into c00lkidd who wasted no time charging at him and sending him back to the cabin. Shedletsky just sat on the couch to take a second to compose himself. He was so close to getting to the end of the round that if he was just able to run away until the timer ended he would have been able to survive. The ache and pain was starting to return and Shedletsky was sick of it, he hated his wings and that he had to deal with them. After stepping down from godhood he was hoping it would erase everything that came with it but instead it only took the wings on the side of his head and left him with one pair on his back. He was lucky to figure out a way to retract them but the wings still needed to be preened and taken out from time to time or else situations like this happen.

At first they just start to itch a little and then it gets worse until they start to hurt and they will keep getting more painful until he takes them out but since he ended up here he hasn't been able to without risking someone finding out. He can't stay in his cabin for hours without someone noticing, he can't do it at night unless he wants to stay up all night and risk having no energy for the rounds so instead he will ignore it in hopes it will go away.

Shedletsky let out and sign before standing up and deciding to go back to his cabin before everyone else got out of the round. He can't risk them seeing him like this. It's not like they’re bad people but he can't stand the idea of them looking at him differently if they found out who he used to be. If they knew he used to be them then it would only be a matter of time until they found out about 1x1x1x1 and they would never trust him again.

Slowly he made his way outside and closed the door behind him. There was no breeze outside and everything was quiet with nobody around. He walked down the stairs and went over to the door of his cabin before heading inside. The cabins weren't big but it was better than nothing and each of them had one to themselves. Inside and to the right was a basic fireplace with a couch and a small table, along the back was a kitchen with a sink, a stove, an oven, a fridge with nothing in it , and a small bench at the end. Next to the kitchen was a table pushed up against the wall with two chairs for visitors, not that it mattered much to Shedletsky since the only person he invited over was Builderman and, on the rare occasion, Dusekkar. On the left side of the cabin was a door that went to the small bedroom. It had a bed, a nightstand with a lamp, and a two shelf cabinet that had a spare first-aid kit in the bottom.

Being done with the day as a whole, Shedletsky walked over to the bedroom and flopped onto the bed, not even bothering to turn the lights off. All he needed was a small nap to help distract him from the pulsing in his back so he could show up to dinner without doubling over.
-

The round had finally ended. Everyone had survived except for Shedletsky so the cabin was in high spirits. Builderman was talking with guest when he noticed how Shedletsky was nowhere to be found.

“Hey guest, did you see Shed at all in the round?”

“Hmm? Of yeah i helped him escape from c00lkidd, he seemed to be struggling a lot with losing him but he disappeared after that”

“Really? He’s usually good witc00lkidd..”

“Thats what i thought but i guess it was bad round for him..hey i need to go help Elliot with dinner, sorry i couldn't help you more”

“Thats alright i ask him later when he shows up for dinner”

With that guest walked off in the direction of the kitchen while Builderman walked over to dusekkar.

“Hey matt, can i talk to you outside”

“Sure”

While everyone else chats, Builderman and Dusekkar slip outside. Builderman closes the door and walks over to lean on the rail

“Is everything ok?”

“I think there is something wrong with shed. I’ve noticed he’s been off recently but after this round i cant get my mind off it”

“It is a bit strange that he was the only one killed..”

“I'm hoping I can get him to talk after dinner but I needed to know if anyone else thought it was strange.”

Builderman turned to look at dusekkar while the silence fell over them. He had an idea what might be happening but he didn't want to jump to conclusions. Despite Shedletsky trying his best to hide it, Builderman knew he retained a pair of his wings. At first he didn't think much
but slowly he noticed the small tells, the way he would guard his back, how there would always be feathers in the big of his office. Eventually he went to taph to ask them how it worked where he finally figured out how he hid them. Builderman knew Shedletsky was ashamed of the choices he made when he was still Telamon and it would make sense that he would hide any reminders of those times but why hide it from him? They have been friends for years and have worked together for even longer. After all they have shared with each other how could Shedletsky not trust him. Finally Dusekkar spoke up.

“It is strange. Dinner should be ready soon which means he will have to show up. I’ll keep an eye out incase you need any help but would probably talk to you before me”

“Yeah probably. I’ll go check his cabin to let him know”

“Good luck, and do let me know if you need help”

With a nod Builderman walked down the stairs and over to Shedletsky's cabin. He knocked on the door once and after no reply slowly walked inside

“Shed?”

Chapter Text

Builderman looked around the small main room. All the lights were on but Shedletsky wasn't anywhere to be seen.
Looking over at the bedroom he saw that the door was only half closed so he walked over and peeked inside.

“Hey Shed? Are you in there?”

After a few seconds of silence there was the sound of fabric rustling and Builderman took that as a sign that he could enter.
He walked in and walked over to the bed where Shedletsky was slowly getting up.

“Dinner is about to be ready so im coming to let you know”

“Oh yeah..thanks for getting me i’ll be over in a minute”

First strike

“You're not heading over right now?”

“No i..just need to wake up and fix my bed”

Second strike

“Wow, I never thought I would live to see a day the almighty Shedletsky would stay back from food to fix his bed”

“Yeah who would have thought but the day has come”
Third strike

“Well i’ll leave you to that, see you in the cabin”

“Yeah bye Builder”

That's all the confirmation Builderman needed to know something was wrong. Builderman quickly left and walked back over to the
main cabin where everyone was heading into the dining area. After grabbing his food, Builderman walked over and sat next to Dusekkar
at the far end of the table. The only other people nearby were Chance and Noob who were too engrossed in their conversation to pay attention to them.

“Somethings definitely wrong”

“What happened?”

“When I went over all his lights were on like he wasn't bothered enough to turn them off before going to sleep and when i told him dinner was ready he didn’t seem to care at all”

“That is strange, he’s usually the first person to appear for dinner. Were you able to figure anything else out?”

“No but we should stop talking before he walks in. I'll confront him later when the others aren't as likely to find us”

-

Shedletsky was fucked. He didn't know how much longer he could keep up appearances while in so much discomfort.
The skin on his back itched and he was so close to just locking himself in his room and pulling his wings out so that he
could be done with this already. It didn't help that people were starting to pick on how he was acting, and by people he meant Builderman.
It’s like the man has a sense for when Shedletsky is hiding something. Even when Shedletsky was still them he would still know and despite
the fact that they were much stronger than him, He always helped with whatever was troubling them. Despite how much Shedletsky would try
to get Builderman to drop the subject, whether that be through ignoring him, arguing or in rare cases fighting him about it, he never
backed down and never judged him when he eventually spilled his guts about whatever the problem was. God Shedletsky didn't deserve him.

Even though Builderman had shown again and again that no matter what happened he would always care for Shedletsky something always
stopped him from bringing up his wings, and now that he;s been hiding them for so long it feels impossible to finally bring it up.
Shedletsky knew he was being stupid, deep down he knew Bulderman wouldn't care and would stop whatever he was doing to help him but
he just couldn't do it because there was still that tiny chance that he's wrong and Builderman will hate him for lying to him about something he should trust him with.

Shedletsky sighed before getting up and making his way over to dinner.
-

Soon Shedletsky walked in looking more tired than he usually looks despite having slept. He grabbed some food and walked over to Builderman
and Dusekkar. For all of dinner the three didn't talk at all, letting the sound of everyone else fill the silence while eating in peace. After dinner
while everyone else was slowly making their way out to head to bed, Taph walked over the Dusekkar while frantically signing something that must
have been about something very important to them because Dueskkar quickly said goodbye before walking after them leaving just Shedletsky and
Builderman in the dining room.

“So how was the round today?”

“Hm? Oh yeah it was ok. Noob ended up sticking near me the whole round since they couldn't find anyone else anywhere”

“I can agree with that, i saw guest once when he helped me get away from c00lkidd but other then that i was completely alone”

“Is that why you died so easily?”

“Um yeah, c00lkidd kept targeting me so I used up my chicken pretty fast heh..”

After looking around and seeing only a few people still in the main cabin, Builderman looked at Shedletsky with a completely serious face before standing up.

“I need to talk to you in your cabin”

Tension quickly filled the space as Shedletsky stayed completely still. After a few seconds Shedletsky spoke up again.

“Why so eager to be alone me me huh”

He tried to lighten the mood but the anxiety in his tone and the way he couldn't seem to look Builderman in the face for more than a few seconds gave away how he really felt.

“Either we go talk in one of our cabins or i will drag you there myself”

That was enough to shut Shedletsky up.

“Ok”

The two of them started to walk out of the dining room while saying goodnight to the remaining people. The least Builderman can do is keep up
the act for Shedletsky. Walking about on the porch Builderman stopped and took a deep breath before continuing over the Shedletsky's cabin with
him trailing close behind. He opened the door and let Shedletsky inside before shutting it and blocking it in case Shedletsky got desperate enough to try
and dash. The two stood in silence just looking at each other until Shedletsky spoke.

“So what did you want to talk about Builder”

Chapter Text

“Cut the bullshit Shed, I know something's wrong so what is it?”

“What are you talking about? Nothings wrong with me i dont kn-”

“For fucks sake can you take this seriously! You have been off since last week maybe even longer, you were the only person to die today and it WAS TO C00LKIDD. And then you
get back here and you don't wait for the round to end before you walk off to your cabin and fall asleep with the lights on. Do you need me to keep going or is this enough to
prove my point”

“So now I can't even go to sleep anymore or die without it being a problem. Seriously Builder can you even hear yourself right now. So i forgot to turn the lights off that doesnt
mean somethings wrong with me”

“No no no we arent doing this again, im not going to sit here and watch you deny everything just to avoid this conversation. I will stay in this cabin for as long as I need to for
you to talk to me and it’s final.”

“You can't do that, this is my cabin!”

The tension was growing and both of them were quickly losing their patience. Whatever was bothering Shedletsky must be a massive problem if he is this adamant about
refusing help. Builderman took a second to calm down before trying again.

“Look Shed, im not going to sit here and watch you hide yourself away from everyone. Im your best friend and i care about you so much, so why can't you let me help you”

At this point Shedletsky couldn't even look at him, instead keeping his gaze on the lines in the floor.

“Im fine.”

“Oh my GOD SHED, WHY MUST YOU MAKE IT SUCH AN IMPOSSIBLE TASK TO HELP, YOU WOULD THINK AFTER EVERYTHING YOU HAVE DONE TO CHANGE YOURSELF, TO BETTER
YOURSELF! THAT YOU WOULD LOSE THIS SHITTY HABIT BUT NO YOUR STILL THE SAME PERSON YOU USED TO BE!”

…

Shit

He didn't mean to say that, god he just fucked up badly. The air felt suffocating as he processed what just came out of his mouth. God he’s so stupid, out of all things he could
have said he just had to bring Telamon up.

“Shed wait i din-”

“NO FUCK YOU BUILDER, YOU DONT GET TO BRING THEM BACK UP THAT NOT FAIR I GAVE UP EVERYTHING TO BE WHO I AM TODAY AND And..what”

Shedletsky slowly lifted his hand to touch his face only to feel tears on his cheeks. When did he start crying? He was so worked up he didn't notice his eyes starting to well and his
voice cracking. While Shedletsky was distracted, Builderman took a few steps forward while lifting his hand to Shedletsky's cheek.

“Oh shed, i din-”

Shedletsky lunged, he was still mad and listening to Builderman trying to comfort him after all he said felt humiliating. He didn't even feel the way his back burned from the sudden
movement, all his thoughts were on how mad he was. Builderman tried to step back but he couldn't get far before he was pushed back against the door with Shedletsky holding
him by the collar of his shirt.

“Shed calm down, this isn't worth fighting over”

“Why should I listen to you!”

Shedletsky wasn't going to listen to him when he was like this. This isn't the first time they have fought over a stupid argument before and the only way these end is when someone
gets the sense knocked back into them but Builderman didn't want to hurt Shedletsky more than he already was.

Quickly, Builderman grabbed Shedletsky's wrists and pushed up before reaching behind him and pushing down on his shoulder blade hard enough for Shedletsky to yell out in pain
before collapsing to the floor. Both of them were exhausted, muscles hurting and slightly out of breath. Builderman crouched down before hugging Shedletsky, being careful to
not touch his back too much.

Immediately Shedletsky grabbed onto Builderman sobbing. Builderman just held him for as long as he needed to calm down before he pulled away a bit and Builderman let him go.

“Im sorry”

“I know, and I'm sorry too, I never meant what I said and I'm sorry I had to hurt your back like that, i just could find a way to end it any other way”

“I don't blame you but…how did you know to do that”

“Shed i know about your wings”

“WHAT, how, when, why are you only telling me this now!”

“I knew you were uncomfortable with them so I was waiting for you to tell me but seeing how you would rather be in pain then tell me i decided to out my foot down”

“Fuck im such an idiot”

“Yeah I know…so will you finally let me help you?”

Shedletsky looked away. He still didn't want to show his wings to anyone even though he knew it was safe to do so around Builderman. Builderman picked up on his discomfort
and changed the subject.

“You know I know how to preen wings”

“Really”

“Yeah, Taph would get theirs all messed up because of the bombs and rubble. They used to find me at the end of the day and ask me to help since they can't reach their back.
I would sit for hours as they told me what to do until I got the hang of it. It took a bit but eventually it became our routine. After we got stuck here they taught matt as well since
i wouldn’t always be available to help”

“I should have realised sooner that they went to you”

“So now will you let me? The more you push this back the worse it's going to get”

“Yeah, but you should know that it gets messy. I may be able to hide them easily but pulling them out is different”

“I’ll be fine, don't worry about me”

Builderman stood up before helping Shedletsky up and over to the couch.

“You’ll need to grab the first aid kit from my room and a cloth from the kitchen”

“It’s in the bottom shelf right?”

“Yeah”

Builderman walked off to collect the supplies while Shedletsky started taking off his shirt, being careful of his back. Soon Builderman returned with everything he needed and sat
back down next to Shedletsky.

“Whenever your ready”

“Yeah just give me a second”

The cabin was filled with silence before it was filled with the sound of skin ribbing and blood dripping. Shedletsky immediately put a hand over his mouth to muffle the sound of his
whimpers and his winds unfolded, ripping the skin further. The back of where Shedletsky was sitting was now covered in bits of blood and a few feathers that fell out. Builderman
could only stare in show at what just happened. He knew that taking wings out was a painful experience but he didn't expect it to be as bad as that.

“Holy shit shed are you ok”

Shedletsky could only put up a shaky thumbs up as Builderman as he slowly recovered from the event. After a few minutes Shedletsky had calmed down enough to sit up more and
remove his hand from his face.

“Thats the worst over with, you’ll need to clean the blood or else it gets infected”

Builderman picked up the cloth before getting up to go soak it in water. After walking back and sitting down, Shedletsky turned so his back was facing Builderman. Builderman
gave him a small warning before starting to wipe away the blood around the wounds where the wings where protruding from. Shedletsky immediately hissed but eased into it as
Builderman continued to clean away the blood. Soon all the blood on his skin was wiped away and the only bits left were the ones on his wings.

“What am I supposed to do about the wounds?”

“Im going to put my wings back in after this so you can to patch them up then”

“What do you mean you're putting them back after this?”

“I can't keep them out or else people might see me and they’re a massive inconvenience to have”

“Your not putting them back in and thats final”

Builderman's tone was enough to stop Shedletsky from talking back.

“I’m going to have to take my gloves off for this part ok”

The idea of Builderman preening his wings with his bare hands was enough to make his cheeks warm but he didn't have any time to question that before calloused hands were
sorting through his wings and inspecting the damage.

“God Shed this is so bad, how did this even happen”

“Oh um it uhh just did”

Shedletsky wasn't used to people touching his wings so this was a completely new experience for him. Soon he started to ease into it as Builderman sorted through all his crooked feathers.

“So how long have you known?”

“Oh um a while, i noticed how you acted about your back after you stepped down from your role as telamon. I just put the pieces together after that”

Silence filled the room.

“You're not them, you know?”

“What”

“You're not telamon and you never will be again. You are a different person and you have worked so hard to get to where you are now. I was wrong for what I said earlier and I just
said it because I was too worked up. I know that doesn't excuse my actions but im hoping you can forgive me”

“Of course i forgive you, i could never hate you Builder and i was acting like a child anyways”

“Im about to start getting your pin feathers ok”

Shedletsky only hummed in response as Builderman started to free the pin feathers on his left wing. When he got up to the right wing he noticed a small noise coming from Shedletsky.
It sounded like some type of vibration and Builderman paused before it clicked.

“Shed are you…Purring?”

“Hmm? Oh yeah I guess I am. Don't worry about it”

As Builderman continued working on the last of his wing he couldn't help but enjoy the noise. Dare he even say it was cute.

“All done, your wings are still dirty but there is no way im getting you to leave this cabin so you’ll have to wash them later”

Shedletsky slowly stood up while yawning. After everything that had happened he was ready to sleep for a week. Builderman also stood and grabbed Shedletsky's hand before
leading him over to the door to his bedroom. After making sure Shedletsky made it into the room he turned to leave before being stopped by a hand grabbing him.

“Wait stay with me tonight, please”

He should say no, leave and walk back to his cabin and go to sleep in his own bed but he didn't want to spend the night alone.

“Yeah sure, just let me shut off the lights”

Builderman could have sworn he saw Shedletsky's wings puff up at his response. He walked over to the door to shut the lights off before heading back to the bedroom and closing
the door. Shedletsky was already sitting in the bed with the sheets pulled back waiting for him, even though his eyes were drooping. Builderman walked over and took his shoes,
hardhat, and toolbelt off before sitting down on the bed.the bed wasn't really big enough for two people so Shedletsky quickly grabbed onto him before pulling him down so he
could lay on Builderman's chest. Builderman reached down to pull the sheets up before turning the lamp off. Soon they were both settled with Shedletsky laying his head on
Builderman's chest and his left wing laying over Builderman's waist.

“Thanks for helping me Builder”

“You don't need to thank me, i would do this for you anytime”

Soon Shedletsky was fast asleep in Builderman arms and for the first time since getting here, Builderman fell asleep with a smile on his face