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“What are you two whispering about?” Zoey asked, stifling a yawn right after as she walked into the kitchen. It wasn’t unusual for Rumi and Mira to be up before she was, but the hushed voices were. Even before she walked in, to be speaking so quietly was odd; usually she could hear them talking, laughter drifting to her ears as she got closer, immediately able to join the warm energy they built before she got there.
Mira and Rumi froze, words dying on their lips instantly as they turned to watch Zoey.
“Nothing important. Want some tea with your breakfast?” Mira asked quickly, standing to go to the stove before getting an answer.
Rumi flashed Zoey a wide grin, pulling out the chair next to her for Zoey to sit.
Zoey knew that smile. It was the one Rumi pulled out where she was dodging interviewers’ questions, trying to act like she didn’t know what they meant. It was her ‘I’m hiding something’ smile.
Zoey squinted at her, suspicion building as Rumi kept up that same dumb expression, adding a weak thumbs up like it added to the authenticity. It only made Zoey grow wary.
“You’re hiding something…” Zoey whined, childish pout emphasising her words. “Both of you!” she jabbed an accusing finger at Mira as well, who pointed to herself, feigning shock.
“Zo..” Rumi started gently, placing her hand over Zoey’s on the table.
Zoey took her hand away like Rumi’s touch burned, crossing her arms and pushing her lip out, fully engaging in a tantrum.
Mira set a plate in front of Zoey, steaming cup of tea right next to it, but Zoey just huffed, turning her nose up.
“I’m going on hunger strike until you tell me what’s going on. We said no more secrets, remember?” Zoey started again, betrayal lining her voice. And they had promised it, openness being their first priority when it came to each other now.
Rumi hummed, guilt stabbing her as Zoey’s eyes found hers. She was the one who had suggested it too; more as a promise to the others that she herself would come clean about everything than an expectation for them to do the same. It was backfiring on her terribly.
She broke eye contact with Zoey, staring anywhere but at her, trying not to let herself be broken down by Zoey’s pleading stares and quivering lower lip.
Zoey turned her puppy-eyes to Mira then, trying to get her to cave. She knew her girls, and she knew they would fall victim to her tantrum with just a little push.
It was Mira’s turn now to try not to break, fist clenching at her side in the focus not to give in. So, she closed her eyes, face scrunched in her effort not to spill her and Rumi’s secret.
Zoey huffed, disbelief and mild frustration obvious as she watched between Rumi, still dodging her gaze, and Mira, comically sitting with her eyes shut, avoiding looking at anything at all.
“Fine, whatever. Keep your secret. In fact, keep everything to yourselves.” Zoey stood up, chair pushing back with a loud screech, and stomped off, leaving her breakfast untouched, and Rumi and Mira left to sit in the deafening silence her absence left.
Rumi whined, feeling every bit as awful as Zoey likely thought she was, already thinking about chasing after Zoey to come clean, spill everything and grovel at her feet, beg for forgiveness about breaking her promise.
A steady hand at her shoulder paused Rumi’s thoughts, amber eyes coming up to meet hazel.
“It’s only until tomorrow, Rums. We’ll tell her that it’s only secret for a bit longer, but we make sure we aren’t making her feel neglected, okay?”
Rumi sighed, nodding minutely. A birthday surprise for Zoey had to be an exception to the no secrets rule, but it was still making her feel terrible to hide anything at all.
“I’ll go make sure she’s not getting in her head and feeling like she did something wrong. You go find something fun for us to watch, okay?”
“Okay.” Rumi took a breath, trying to shrug off the guilt about excluding Zoey. It was only for now, just like Mira said. It would be okay.
Rumi snagged Mira’s hand, pausing her mid-step. Mira looked back at her, questioning, meeting her glassy eyes before she hugged the shorter hunter. “She doesn’t hate us, Rumi. Don’t go getting in your head either.” Mira reassured softly, forever the stable and reasonable voice of the three.
Rumi squeezed tightly, feeling childish in her need of assurance at the mildest hit of rejection, but took Mira’s words to heart, nodding as Mira released her.
With that, they split apart, Rumi going to the couch to pick a silly movie for them to watch over snacks, and Zoey’s saved breakfast, Mira going to Zoey’s room to clear the air a bit.
Zoey was curled up on her bed, strangling her turtle plush, getting in her head exactly as Mira had predicted. After she stormed off, the angry tears came, much to her irritation, feeling like a child again. Always out of the loop, no one willing to fill her in, all smirks and hushed voices when she asked what she was missing. She was furious about being excluded, but even more so at herself for letting that unravel her so rapidly.
Further, she was mad at herself for reacting that way. She was probably blowing it out of proportion; they didn’t all have to share everything with each other; and it was likely something not even worth all the tantrumming she did, but it stung so badly. She didn’t have to storm off, or say what she did. She could have just let it be, laughed it off, swallowed it down like always, not shown any anger. Be bubbly, roll-with-the-punches, people-pleaser Zoey.
Somewhere in the back of her mind, the term rejection sensitive dysphoria popped up, and she knew that was likely why being excluded hurt so bad, but she shoved it down quickly, flinging it and the tears where she didn’t have to deal with them. She didn’t feel like trying to therapy speak herself into calming down. She would rot and fester and hold her grudge for today, and then be better for tomorrow. Couldn’t be mad on her birthday.
The knock at her door surprised her, eyes snapping to it before she huffed, not wanting to fake niceness with either of the others right now. As much as she knew to herself she was being unreasonable and childishly petty, she also wanted to indulge it, lash out in the tiny ways she was never bold enough to when she was small. If they didn’t want to talk to her, she didn’t want to talk to them.
Mira invited herself in after the lack of answer, hovering just next to Zoey’s bed, not bold enough to come closer without permission. She watched the hunched form of Zoey, noting the tiny sniffles she tried to muffle, hating herself for making her feel this way even by accident.
“You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. You don’t even really have to listen either if you don’t feel like it. But I just wanted to come say sorry, and let you know we’re not mad at you, or purposefully excluding you or anything.”
The glacier around Zoey’s heart melted just a fraction at the warmth lining Mira’s voice. She always understood where Zoey’s thoughts spiralled, the perfect reassurance right on her lips when needed. But she was still mad all the same, and was going to indulge every last petty feeling while she could.
Mira could feel herself breaking, wanting to let Zoey know it was a surprise for her, apologise for the misunderstanding of their secrecy. She and Rumi probably should have known better than to openly hide something from Zoey; it just invited too many misunderstandings, muddying what should have been clean, open communication.
“It’s.. I promise we’ll tell you tomorrow. Birthday girl gets to know because it’s her birthday.” A half truth; she would know for her birthday because it was for that same reason after all. But then she stuttered, regretting her phrasing. “I, sorry, that sounded patronising. I’m not treating you like a kid. I do promise to tell you soon though.”
Zoey rolled over slightly, watching Mira with puffy, squinted eyes, Mira almost clutching her chest at the metaphorical stab wound.
“Fine.” Zoey answered softly, letting the curt response hang in the air.
Nodding at that, Mira started to back out of the room, pausing at the doorway to call quickly. “Join us for a movie day if you feel up to it.”
Silence filled the room again, leaving Zoey to mull over Mira’s words. She was not being excluded or rejected, not really. She would find out tomorrow. She could wait a little for that. And really, the anger was dissipating quickly, unable to hold a grudge with the two people she was closest with.
Zoey lay in bed for a bit more before she got up, half-heartedly tossing her plushes back into place. The resentment left her just as quickly as it came, always wanting to let things go quickly so people would like her again.
“This is a perceived rejection, and doesn’t need to make me feel weird.” Zoey said softly to herself, repeating it slightly louder until she was tricking herself into believing it well enough.
She rejoined the others, grumpily eating her breakfast after it was handed to her again.
The air was a bit heavier, lingering guilt and shame hanging unspoken, but it was easy enough to sit with, slowly lightening the longer they sat with each other.
When the movie was halfway through, Zoey piped up, not one to let silences last too long. “I’m still mad at you guys.”
Rumi and Mira turned to her, a mix of remorse for being the cause, and pride for Zoey actually voicing it instead of pushing it down for the sake of peace, filling their chests. They shifted, flanking Zoey, leaning into her despite her half hearted protests, trapping her in their embrace.
“You have every right to be.” Rumi answered softly, patterns flashing deep purples briefly. It gave her away immediately, Zoey snorting a bit seeing it.
“At least I know you feel bad about it. But.. I’m sorry for storming off and being whiny about it. It’s childish and feels so stupid, but it just hurt to see you two keeping something from me. Especially after we promised to have everything in the open.”
Mira hummed, leaning her head into Zoey’s, choosing her words carefully. “I think it’s perfectly fair to have gotten upset, and even still be upset. In fact, you could be madder at us, and it’d be your right.”
Zoey huffed, but the others could see the tension melting off her rapidly, shoulders easing as she leaned more into their contact, already forgiving despite the hurt still present in her eyes.
“Yeah, okay. If you say it’s not childish, sure. But I’m going to be so petty about it tomorrow, you’ll never hear the end of it.” Zoey teased, the brightness coming back to her voice.
“As will be your right.”
The heaviness in the air eased little by little afterward, movies playing in a marathon as they settled back into the usual comfortable energy they always had with each other. By the time it was dark out, the energy had completely lifted, laughter and jokes filling the space like it always did.
Despite the lazy day, Zoey was falling asleep on herself, sometimes blinking, and realising she’d missed a whole section of the movie, lost to what was going on as characters she didn’t recognise spoke on screen. She wasn’t sure what time it was, but she knew it was late, sunlight long gone, time having passed in a blur.
She was just about to try to drag herself to bed, eyelids drooping again, when she felt more than heard movement. Suddenly, there was something on top her head, strap lightly pressing against her chin.
“Happy birthday!” Mira and Rumi cheered in unison, kneeling in front of her with a small box held between them.
She reached up, feeling the pointed hat, and snorted. They put a party hat on her, matching the ones they wore as well. As she blearily focused on the clock, she saw that it was indeed midnight, the others seemingly having been waiting for the exact moment.
“You guys are dorks,” she mumbled, weariness clinging to her every syllable.
“The secret is in the box. Mira said you would find out on your birthday, and it’s your birthday now, so you can know-” Rumi rambled, urging Zoey to open it as soon as possible. She had been so close to breaking all evening, and didn’t want to carry the weight of her guilt a second longer than necessary.
Zoey hummed, mischievousness and pettiness deafening in just the soft noise. “I’m kinda tired though, so maybe you can tell me in the morning? When I’m more awake to accept the apology that’ll come with it too, y’know?”
Mira rolled her eyes, taking the box from Rumi, and opened it, setting it in Zoey’s lap.
Inside, was just a small wooden carving of a turtle, intricately painted in deep blues and black with spots of white. Zoey picked it up, studying it, tiny smile cracking as her eyes absorbed every detail.
“A leatherback. It’s gorgeous, thank you.” Zoey started gratefully, warmth blooming as she held the gift close.
“And we’re going turtle watching.” Mira added, relief flooding her at finally being able to get it off her chest. Rumi wasn’t the only one close to breaking.
“Oh, I’m so glad we can tell you now. I’m sorry we were being so secretive and weird, and made you feel rejected, Zo. But we wanted to keep the birthday surprise, and it was going so well until you heard us whispering, and we shouldn’t have tried to keep a secret even if it was for a good cause, and-” Rumi rambled, apology and explanation tumbling out of her, patterns fading back to their light iridescence as the guilt left her.
The words were hardly reaching Zoey, still sleep addled and stuck on Mira’s words. They were going turtle watching? Turtle watching like what she’d always wanted as a kid, but never could have afforded or was never taken seriously? Rationally, she knew she could have done this for herself, but with their schedules and work, it had always felt so out of reach, that she let the dream fade. Until now, when its promise was lighting a fire that burned so hot in her she was sure the others could feel it.
“Rumi-” she took Rumi’s hand, startling her out of her speech. She had still been speaking, pouring out every detail she could think of, laying it all bare for Zoey in the seeking of forgiveness. Zoey hadn’t heard half of it. “I forgive you both forever. In fact, I owe you guys forgiveness now. You get freebies for the future. When do we go?”
Rumi huffed a short laugh, ecstatic seeing the fire in Zoey’s eyes replacing the hurt that had taken root. “We actually have about an hour until the flight. We already packed a bag for you, so any last prep you wanna do-”
“Wait, when did you pack a bag for me?” Zoey asked, startled she didn’t notice anything.
“You were falling asleep a lot harder than you think.” Mira said, lightly patting Zoey’s leg. She and Rumi had taken turns monitoring their half asleep bandmate, the other packing bags and getting the gift out of its hiding spot while Zoey drifted in and out of consciousness. They had intended for one of them to distract Zoey if she grew suspicious about the other’s absence, but it had been a breeze with how deeply Zoey slept while she was out, and how lost to the world she was in the brief pockets of time she was awake.
“Where are we going?” Zoey asked, deciding to just accept that she had slept through their sneaky planning, and find out more details about the actual trip.
“You’ll see,” Mira winked at her, teasing with just one more little secret, this time not weighed down by crushing guilt.
Zoey shook her head, smiling, and just got ready for their trip, excitement hardly contained as time drew nearer and nearer to her biggest dream coming true.
Zoey slept for the first few hours of the flight, head leaned against Mira’s shoulder in the comfort of their private jet. When she woke, she looked out the window, tracing shapes out of the night clouds she could see. Or was it morning? No, morning technically again, since they were travelling to a western island. She supposed it was going to be around 2am on her birthday when they landed, having travelled ‘back in time’. The thought made her giggle - time was so funny like that, how loose it was and how it could be so easily unravelled. She jotted a quick note in her book, inspiration coming to her in a few short sentences.
Mira glanced over at her, rubbing her eyes as she spoke, voice gravelly with sleep. “Song inspo?”
Zoey glanced up at her, flashing a small smile as she nodded. “Tiny bit. Sorry, did I wake you?”
Mira shook her head, stretching, cracking her stiffened joints. “It’s fine. Don’t want to sleep through your birthday. Which-” Mira leaned in, giving Zoey loud, exaggerated kisses on the cheek, holding her face still as Zoey giggled and half protested.
“Happy-” Kiss. “Birth-” Kiss. “Day-” Kiss. “Zoey.” She spoke between each press of lips, making sure to give Zoey exactly eleven kisses, just repeating the words until she had finished.
After she was done, Zoey rubbed her cheek affectionately, light blush colouring over her freckles. “If you’re giving me a kiss for each year I’ve been alive, you’re missing a couple.”
“Rumi has the rest, I’ve done my part.” Mira said as she stood, stretching further, going to their snack fridge to get a drink.
Zoey just shook her head, smiling down at her book as she continued to write, margins filling with tiny doodles as she went.
The next time she looked up, having gotten absorbed in her musings, Rumi was standing in front of her, flashing that goofy smile Zoey had come to love. All teeth and affection in her eyes, genuine in how not picture perfect it was.
“Are you coming to give me the other thirteen?” Zoey asked dryly, setting her book aside to give Rumi all her attention.
Rumi nodded, grin widening.
Zoey leaned forward, giving into it with a mock show of exasperation, Rumi take her face into her hands and giving Zoey exactly eleven kisses to the opposite cheek Mira had kissed.
Giggling as she was released, Zoey looked up at Rumi, taking in the satisfied look on her face for having completed her objective. They were missing two kisses, but maybe that was because they had lost count. She didn’t mind, anyway. Mira and Rumi were so sweet and silly to her, and she couldn’t have asked for better people in her life. Not just for the gift they were giving her, but all the little ways they made her feel important. She loved them.
After they landed a short while later, Zoey tried to figure out where they were, looking for any signs or landmarks she could recognise as they were transported to their hotel. In streetlights, she saw signs at the side of the road, lit up and gone again in flashes, but they were in English. And she absently noted they were driving on the left side of the road in the short drive to the hotel, barely any distance at all from the airport.
When they got into their room, a simple two bedroom space connected with a single door, she paced, pondering. Mira had yet to tell her where they were, and Rumi had opted to get a bit more sleep, so neither of them were going to be of any help in figuring things out. It became a sort of game for her, whether or not that was intentional on the others’ parts a mystery, but she was already having fun, using clues to deduce it herself. It reminded her of playing geoguesser on quieter nights.
English street signs, some having Spanish translations below them; left side driving; short distance between the airport and the hotel; and it was 2am in July, still in turtle watching season. It was definitely somewhere in the Atlantic ocean, considering the distance they flew. And it felt too small to be one of the Southern American countries. It was most certainly an island.
Mira lay on one of the beds in the room, watching Zoey pace with a smirk. She could see the gears turning in Zoey’s head, listening to the mumbles as Zoey put every piece of evidence together. She had been going to tell Zoey, but watching her sleuth it out was amusing, and it felt like it would ruin the game if she told her now.
Zoey tapped her chin thoughtfully, eyes squeezing shut as she tried to remember her geography. She felt like she almost knew where they were, name just at the tip of her tongue, knowledge in the back of her mind, almost within her reach.
“Mir?”
“Hmm?” Mira looked up at her as she answered, watching as Zoey came to a stop in front of her.
“Are we in Trinidad and Tobago? Like, more specifically are we in Trinidad right now?” she ventured a guess, about to start naming all the islands she could remember.
Mira pulled out a small party popper she’d saved, having not used it when Zoey was half asleep during the initial birthday wish, and released it with a soft bang, colourful pieces of paper and glitter drifting lazily down through the air.
“Oh my god, could you be any cornier?” Zoey laughed, taking that as confirmation.
“I wanted to use it when we gave you the midnight birthday celebration, but you were so sleepy, I thought it might scare you.” Mira said sheepishly by way of explanation, light blush colouring her cheeks. “But yeah, you got it. Here has some of the most prominent turtle nesting spots, and we thought you might like to check out some of the beaches as well.”
Zoey practically dove into Mira, wrapping her in a tight hug as the movement sent the now settled confetti into the air again.
“You both know me so well. I love you both so much.” Zoey spoke into Mira’s shoulder, squishing herself into the taller hunter.
“Love you too, Zo.” Mira replied softly, hand coming to the back of Zoey’s head, fully embracing her.
When Rumi woke a couple hours later, Zoey dove into her too, tackling her into a frenzied hug, much to her amused confusion. When she looked to Mira for explanation, all the pink haired hunter mouthed was ‘go with it’ and so she did, returning every bit of affection in the hug as Zoey gave.
Now all awake, Rumi and Mira looked to Zoey, asking what she wanted to do with the day. They had left it open for her, ideas drawn up, but ultimately deciding they would let her take the lead for her special day. True to her nature, Zoey wanted to try foods before they went to the beach, content to swim the day away until the night brought the main appeal of the trip.
They got an early start, exploring every bit of local cuisine they could find on the way to the first beach, indulging in everything that caught Zoey’s eye.
The food was wildly different from what they were used to, even Zoey who had grown up with an even more varied palette, but they absorbed it all, picking favourites and trying to figure out what it most reminded them of. Zoey decided she liked aloo pies best, the soft potato interior with its mild curry flavour unlike anything she’d ever had, but still comforting in a nostalgic way. Mira liked the spicy sauces more than the actual food, new combinations of fruit and vegetable and heat giving her brand new culinary ideas for home. Even Rumi found something she deeply loved, usually the pickiest about what she ate due to her heightened sense of taste from her demonic side. She liked the sweets best, cardamon and ginger a common factor in everything she found the best.
Zoey had to translate a lot, the others not too used to speaking English full time, and even then, she struggled a little with the accent, having to apologetically ask for certain things to be repeated.
Then, there were the beaches. Rough blue green waves rolling in, battering and churning up the sand before they rolled out again, the perfect state for Zoey, who loved when the waters were everything but calm. She wanted to feel like a sock in a washing machine.
Mira and Rumi mostly let her go crazy, joining her in the water at times, but just watched her be thrown around in the water, joyful laughter only stopping when she was under the waves, starting up again even louder when she breached the surface.
The day went easily by like that, roving from beach to beach, soaking in the sun and trying every food they could get their hands on, non stop enjoyment until night fell when they returned to the hotel to clean up and prepare for the main event.
It was almost 11pm when they got to the final beach, excitement of the day mellowing into quiet anticipation. Their shoes crunched softly in the sand, following their beach guide with baited breath. There was no one else around, the night’s only sounds being the waves rolling softly, the air rushing, and distant bugs all singing together, creating its gorgeous natural symphony.
They linked arms as they walked, flashlights panning over the sand as they looked for shells, mindful of each step. Zoey was practically vibrating with excitement, kept quiet only by the sheer effort not to break the spell that had settled over the magical night.
Their guide stopped ahead of them, light landing on a spot of dark with mottled spots, the girls coming to join as their eyes settled as well.
A turtle shuffling her shell into the sand, digging out the nest where she would lay her eggs.
Zoey’s eyes widened, her hands gripping at Mira and Rumi’s, trying to contain her excitement. She had only ever seen videos before, but being here in person to experience it was awe-inspiring, filling her with all the childhood hope and joy she thought had faded with the years. It was taking everything in her power not to get closer and rest her hand on the turtle, but the guide had made it clear it was simply observatory, and interfering with the turtles was a serious crime. In her heart, she would never want to do anything to harm the turtles, but the appeal of one so close was almost too much.
With a gentle nudge from Rumi, getting Zoey's attention back, they were walking again, giving the turtle a wide berth, looking for an older nest to see if they could catch the turtles hatching.
She looked back fondly on the leatherback as they walked past, quietly wishing and hoping for its safe return to the sea, and for its clutch of eggs to hatch safely.
Near the edge of the beach, tucked away between rocks, they found old shells, cracked halves scattered over the sand, tiny drag lines already being blown away by the wind before them. The signs of recent hatches. And then-
“Oh-” Zoey breathed out softly, her first sound since reaching the beach.
Her flashlight fell on a tiny creature, slowly dragging itself toward the water, flippers working tirelessly in its effort to find its home. Just a few feet behind it, another was also moving, seeking out the crash of waves. As their flashlights moved, they spotted more and more moving, some even just kicking their shells off, starting their great migration to the expanse of the ocean.
Zoey sat on the sand, overcome with emotion, hand coming to her mouth to muffle the sob that almost escaped her. She didn’t care that sand was getting on her pants, or in her socks. What she was witnessing was far greater than any mild discomfort or mess; she could always fix it later.
Mira and Rumi sat with her, just watching as well, arms wrapping around her in loose hugs as they kept their flashlights steady for Zoey to keep watching.
Turtle after turtle emerged, kept in sight until it reached the edge of the water, quickly swimming away out into the night. With each one, Zoey sent out a wish for its safety and long life, hoping it would be able to return to the beach again someday for its own nesting.
They sat for a while after they stopped spotting turtles, simply shells left in their wake, absorbing the cool night air as their guide waited patiently to lead them back.
Zoey rubbed at her eyes, wiping the last of her tears away before she sighed, letting the crashing sounds of the water wash away the rest of her overwhelming joy. Maybe it was silly to cry over something so simple, but it meant everything to her, both the sight itself, and the gesture of being brought here.
“Happy birthday, Zoey.” Mira whispered, leaning in to kiss her cheek.
“Happy birthday, Zo.” Rumi echoed, kissing the other.
The last two kisses, Zoey thought fondly, touched by their endless sweetness and love of her.
“Thank you.” she said quietly, turning to each of them to press a kiss to their cheeks by way of further emphasis. And then, staring back out at the ocean and speaking to no one in particular, Zoey spoke, “Happy birthday, turtles.”