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Brandon had known Ozo for probably over a few months now and he already felt like he was catching feelings for him. Which he knew was wrong.
It’s just that he saw him cross-dress once with Bkinger at a hangout and…if the goods could hear his thoughts, he would surely be punished for thinking like that.
He didn’t even know if Ozo would even like him back.
He has tried subtly hinting a few times by being closer with him whenever given the chance; like that time they had a sleepover together and he got to lean onto him while they watched a movie. Ozo was pretty warm if he was being honest. He wouldn’t mind leaning onto him again. Maybe cuddle if he was lucky.
His dad would probably punish him or something if he caught him, he was already in enough trouble as is.
Brandon sighed, nestling his head further into his arms; huddling into himself further. He briefly thought about it being Ozo’s arms around him but quickly suppressed that thought.
He was just lucky Ozo thought he liked Bkinger. It’s a pretty good lie too. But he hates lying, he really wishes he could just tell him because lying like this is what makes a bad sundowner.
Why did he have to be like this?
Brandon’s mind drifted back to the hangout again; when everything went wrong.
Bkinger fitted Ozo’s jacket on and spun around a bit in the mirror near her dresser. She turned to Brandon who was idly kicking his feet on the floor while he sat at the edge of her pink bed.
“so…how do I look? pretty rad huh?”
Brandon lifted his head and was about to answer before Ozo interrupted abruptly.
“I don't sound like that!” Ozo muttered while he struggled to fit on Bkinger’s tights.
She giggled, setting her hands onto her hips. “then how do you sound?”
Ozo hesitated for a moment as he managed to slip them on. “...nevermind that, do I look stupid like this?”
Brandon watched as Ozo awkwardly stood in front of the mirror, checking out how he looked. Bkinger adjusted the bows in his hair while he was doing that.
He could’ve sworn his heart skipped a beat as he looked at Ozo’s reflection. He’d liked Ozo before but he just looked even more pretty wearing girly clothes.
more right.
“I think you look great; what do you think brandon?”
Brandon blinked for a moment. “you two look…very nice” He was trying not to let his emotions overpower him as his eyes kept drifting towards Ozo’s figure.
…what would they think?
With that thought engraved into his head, he subtly shook his head and looked back down at his shoes. What was he thinking?
“thanks brandon,” He could feel Ozo smiling from his compliment even though he wasn’t looking. that had to mean something…right?
Brandon lifted his head from his arms for a moment before plunging them back in. He didn’t feel like praying right now. he just wanted ozo with him in this moment.
His mind flickered back into his thoughts. It might be a good idea to sort those out maybe. and maybe afterwards he’d feel like praying. he needs to repent this somehow; he’s in here for a reason.
It’s starting to get dark.
Brandon and Ozo were huddled together under Ozo’s blanket on his couch. They were watching something scary but Brandon wasn’t really paying attention.
He used this time to think a bit. He never really got to think much at home or at school so he’d take any quiet moment he could get.
Ozo’s house felt much cleaner and a bit nicer than his own but he knew it wouldn’t be like that forever.
Although he knew it wasn’t truly clean. But that didn’t matter to him.
Not in this moment, Not ever.
Ozo was in his pajamas which was just an old band shirt (he assumed, it was pretty faded) and some purple pajama pants. Either way he looked good in them.
His hair was down too which he liked.
It helped him forget he was crushing on a guy.
Brandon blinked quickly and refocused on the movie to purge those thoughts from bubbling up. He knew Ozo wouldn’t ever like him back like that.
These feelings were so annoying sometimes. He wished Ozo hadn’t dressed up like that…maybe it wouldn’t be so awkward whenever he was around him.
He doesn't think he’ll ever get that image out of his head.
Maybe if he prays tonight he could forget about even liking him like that in the first place.
He suddenly jumped as lightning crashed loudly on the screen, interrupting his train of thought and causing him to hold onto Ozo instinctively. He didn’t even really notice what he was doing.
After a moment, Brandon relaxed a bit but stayed where he was, leaning onto him.
“you alright dude?”
Brandon nodded slightly, not trusting himself to speak right now.
He felt an arm wrap around him slowly and he felt like his chest might explode. It was rare for him to get any sort of affection so he didn’t really know how to react to it except to freak out a bit.
He hoped his smile wasn’t obvious
or worse,
the red faintly dusting his cheeks.
Sometimes he wished he could have more time to spend with him.
sometimes he wished he wasn’t a sundowner.
Brandon opened his eyes as he heard a knock on the wooden door. He must’ve fallen asleep.
He didn’t even get to pray.
that’s okay though, he can pray later.
At least he got to leave the dirt room now. He was feeling a lot better too.