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“I can’t fucking believe this shit!”
Fanny looked up from her notebook towards the blond boy who had just unceremoniously barged into her room and flopped onto her bed in frustration. “Well hi there, Wally.” Of course, Fanny knew he was coming, but a knock and a simple hello before he began lamenting his teenage woes would’ve been appreciated.
Today was Saturday and like every Saturday, the three members of the Wicked×Hellions had decided to plan a lyric brainstorming session at Fanny’s house. Fanny’s house ended up being the primary place they hung out because despite Fanny’s hang-ups about having to deal with two very annoying boys in her room, it was nowhere near as bad as dealing with either Wally or Patton’s families.
Fanny sat at her desk, a notebook that was supposed to be for lyrics but was instead mostly filled with various doodles in her hand. Patton sat next to her bed (not on her bed, on the floor leaning against it) with his laptop appropriately on his lap. He looked up at Wally, who now lay flat on his back on Fanny’s bed. “Wally, what's up?” He asked.
Wally immediately sat up “Hoagie’s girlfriend!” He yelled. Fanny and Patton looked at each other and then back at Wally. “I didn’t know Hoagie had a girlfriend” “Me neither!” Wally exclaimed, “I mean, you would’ve thought I’d be the first person he’d tell! We’ve been best friends for years, but no! I had to find out by coincidentally seeing them on my way here!” He threw his hands in the air, gesturing wildly. Fanny blinked. “Well Wally, I can’t say I understand, seeing as I do not have a childhood best friend I’m emotionally dependent on, and while I can say that certainly sounds upsetting,” She mindlessly drew a doodle of a cartoon character “I don’t think it warrants barging in here and immediately claiming my bed without even a hello.”
Patton looked up at Wally with a smirk “Unless, of course, there’s something else about Hoagie having a girlfriend that makes you upset?” He raised an eyebrow. Fanny snickered. A pillow was thrown full force at Patton’s face and Fanny outright laughed. “It’s nothing like you’re implying, dickhead!” Wally yelled, “I’m upset because his girlfriend’s a fucking bi-”. Wally’s tongue caught in his throat as he felt Fanny’s glare. “… She’s a fucking nightmare to be around!”
“Really? I haven’t known Hoagie to be someone who’d willingly hang around bad company,” Patton said, recovering from the pillow shot. “She called me a girl!” Wally shouted. Fanny held back a wince but her face turned to a grimace. “I think she was totally doing it on purpose too! She was all like ‘Aw Hoagie is this your friend? What’s her name? She seems like a nice girl!’ God!”
“Wally, I know that was definitely annoying, but I think you need to chill,” Fanny decided to ignore the fact that she was the last person who had the right to tell someone to chill. She knew if someone called her a boy, even by accident, she’d need to be held back from hurting them. “She didn’t even know you, how was she supposed to know that it’d annoy you?”
“Besides, you can’t really blame her,” Patton said. That time, Fanny did wince. Wally snapped his head around, staring at Patton. “And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?!” “Dude, your hair is down to your shoulders and completely covers half your face, you’re short as shit, and your clothes are super baggy. You can’t really blame people for confusing your gender,” Patton shrugged. Fanny’s eyes darted back and forth from Patton’s nonchalant expression to Wally’s seething face. “Anyone with working eyes can tell I’m a fucking boy!” Wally practically screamed.
“Okay, don’t start fighting or I’ll seriously kick you both out,” Fanny said. Patton exhaled through his nose. “Besides, I think there’s another reason you’re upset,” with a devilish grin, he turned to face Wally directly, “I think you’re jealous.”
Wally shot back against the wall, the bed mattress bouncing from his sudden movement. “Jealous?! Are you fucking stupid?!” Patton simply raised an eyebrow and then looked back at his laptop. “You sound pretty jealous to me dude,” “Patton I swear to God I’ll knock your teeth out if you keep-”
“What the fuck did I say about fighting?!” Fanny yelled. Both boys turned to look at her. After a moment of silence, Fanny said “If I hear another word about Hoagie out of either of your mouths, I’ll defenestrate you both. Now, about these lyrics.”