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January 27th — Afternoon
It had been a month since Nukemaru joined the citadel. He still felt distant, but many approached him regardless. Admittedly, the tour that Nukemaru had received the morning after his arrival from the Head of Education—as Kashuu proudly declared himself—had quickly taught him that much had changed in the time he spent trapped within the darkness of his own scabbard.
While the structure of the citadel itself was largely as he remembered it to be, its inhabitants had undoubtedly changed; everyone was much livelier, much happier. The welcome party that was thrown for him on the day of his arrival was proof enough.
Nukemaru watched as a small group of tantous ran out the halls in laughter. He wasn’t used to such carefree behavior, nor the way Kashuu’s smile reached his ears at the sight of their playfulness. The tantous he knew were a reserved bunch, rarely spending time outside of their overcrowded room to play.
He predicted that the sleeping quarters were their next stop before Kashuu made mention of it. Most rooms were empty at this hour, but one was noticeably occupied as chatter leaked through the closed partitions. Kashuu quietly slid back the shoji screen just enough to look inside and, with his right hand, motioned Nukemaru to take a peek. There, he saw Kogarasumaru engrossed in a conversation with two unfamiliar swords; a duo with beautifully long purple and black hair. He didn’t know who they were speaking of, but Kashuu—standing to his left and away from the crack of the shoji screens— softly chuckled as if he were in on their gossip.
These small interactions made Nukemaru feel blatantly out of place. As if he were left behind. Still, he couldn’t look away even as Kashuu spoke about the citadel’s current room arrangements. There was an odd feeling growing in his chest that Nukemaru wanted to quell.
Kashuu softly tapped his shoulder. Nukemaru knew that it was time to move on. Kogarasumaru didn’t notice him as he quietly closed the partition door.
He was more interested in what their comrades were up to; Kashuu caught on quick and changed his tour plans on the spot. Instead of showing him around the rest of the citadel, Kashuu formally introduced Nukemaru to everyone currently living at the citadel. He had excused himself from yesterday’s party before most anyone could talk to him after all.
Nukemaru was not accustomed to speaking to so many residents in a day. It was overwhelming having to pretend to meet most of them for the first time, but not terrible. To know that everyone was safe and thriving in this citadel brought him much needed relief.
However, Nukemaru still couldn’t put a name to the strange feeling that followed him well past the end of the tour.
He spent the rest of his evening ruminating in his room. By the time the lights had gone out and the darkness of night washed over his room, Nukemaru finally understood what was gnawing at his chest.
He was the only one carrying memories of a citadel that no longer existed.
Tears started to spill down his cheeks. The grief within his scarred body unraveled as he mourned the loss of his home.
After that day, he continued to observe the citadel from afar, speaking little when assigned chores with others. He felt fulfilled seeing everyone get along, so he thought.
Two weeks after his arrival, a spontaneous action on his part led to him accompanying the Saniwa and her attendant to a government event in the capital; a conversation he had with Yagen in the late night had him reconsider his reluctance getting close with everyone.
Since then, he would occasionally sit on the veranda of the main dining hall during lunch to allow the other residents to approach him if they wished. Some days he ate alone and other times there would be company. It was difficult for him to engage in conversation at times, as he still dealt with inner sorrows over the loss of his comrades, but it was a step forward. It had only been a week since he began this habit, after all.
—
Today’s lunch was ochazuke—a dish he recalled as one of Leila’s favorites. No one had approached him thus far so Nukemaru savored the comforting meal alone. He let his eyes take in the scenery in front of him, wondering if the Saniwa was enjoying the meal. Nearly done with his food, his thoughts were interrupted when he heard footsteps approaching him from behind.
“Oh, Nukemaru. Mind if I join you?” a deep voice called out.
Nukemaru turned his head towards the sword behind him. It was the Saniwa’s attendant, dressed in a white coat and glasses today instead of his usual battle attire.
“Yagen? What a surprise, please feel free to sit.”
The tantou accepted Nukemaru’s invitation with a nod and sat beside him. “Thank you. It’s been a while since we’ve last talked like this, hasn’t it? How have you been?”
“Just fine, I’m taking a break before I fly off elsewhere,” Nukemaru joked.
He sipped the last of the bowl’s contents, setting it aside before leaning back, arms crossed beneath his head. He thought about leaving, considering that he was finished with his meal, but refrained.
Instead, he turned to look at Yagen, who had yet to touch the food on his tray. “And what of yourself? I assume that you did not come for idle chatter.”
Nukemaru pointed at Yagen’s own bowl of ochazuke, silently advising the tantou to not let the food go cold.
Yagen smiled and took a spoonful up to his mouth, humming contently. “Busy as usual,” he said, followed with another bite.
“I would imagine,” Nukemaru replied. He closed his eyes, careful not to be drift into sleep, as he let Yagen eat as his leisure. It was a surprise to Nukemaru how comfortable he had become with Yagen in such a short time.
A few minutes passed before Nukemaru’s ears picked up on the sound of utensils being placed down. He opened his eyes and craned his neck towards Yagen, who was staring out at the garden.
“I didn’t get to ask you when we spoke after the banquet, but how familiar are you with flower language?” Yagen asked out of the blue.
The question made Nukemaru push himself back up. “Fairly well, I would say.”
He propped his face on the palm of his hand as he looked to where the tantou had his eyes fixed. Not too far off in the distance were beautiful camellia flowers in bloom: red, pink and white splashed over the green of the bushes they grew from.
Nukemaru felt himself smile as a certain memory came to mind. “There was someone I knew who loved flowers, so this kamuro decided to learn their meanings.”
“Is that so…” Yagen trailed off, contemplating his words.
There were many things that the tantou didn’t know about him, and might never know, but Nukemaru was sure that he had his suspicions about who he was referring to.
He heard the sword beside him clear his throat. “Well, may I ask for your help then?”
Nukemaru froze. He turned to face Yagen, seamlessly hiding the shock he felt a moment ago. “Is your request related to Aruji-sama?”
“Yes, actually…” Yagen started off, pushing his glasses up with his right hand, “I would like to make her a bouquet since her birthday is soon. I figured you would know a thing or two about that kind of thing.”
“Oho, and you didn’t go to Sayo or Kasen for help? I’m surprised.”
“They crossed my mind, but I thought this would make for a good opportunity to get to know you better.”
Nukemaru watched as Yagen stood up, picking the food tray off the wood floor.
There was a knowing smile on the attendant’s face as he continued to speak. “Not to mention that you understand what sort of meaning I want to convey to our Taishou.”
Nukemaru let out a childish laugh realizing Yagen had discovered a secret of his. “Love can be communicated with many types of flowers, not just the ones we have growing now. Let us go out in search of the perfect flowers—but first, we must wash our dishes.”