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Juvia is not one to typically feel the unique emotion of “nostalgia.” The water mage doesn’t like to think about the past. To her, all she can remember was how she was viewed as “gloomy” all the time. It wasn’t until she met the man she loved, Gray, in the battlefield where she started to see the light pass the gloomy atmosphere she was so accustomed to, both figuratively and literally.
Ever since Juvia had joined Fairy Tail, she would always avoid talking about her past and her experience as one of Phantom’s Element 4. Because she never wanted to be viewed as the gloomy girl of the rain ever again. That’s not who she is anymore, she is happy just living in the present and (constantly) thinking of the future.
However, on a previous job, Juvia had an encounter with an opponent that reminded her of her past. Not more so the actual individual, in fact Juvia doesn’t even remember his name. He had a scrawny build and a weirdly shaped nose. He also had an irritating voice and demeanor. But it was his powers that caused Juvia to have the unique emotion of nostalgia.
Kinesis, the magic to control whatever element of their own will. Juvia recognized that magic very clearly, as she used to be acquainted with a fellow Phantom member who had that magic. Totomaru, who bears Pyrokinesis. The last she had heard of him was when she and the rest of Phantom disbanded and went their own ways. Unfortunately, Juvia had lost all contact with all the members of Phantom. With the exception of Gajeel, as she vouched for him to join Fairy Tail. It only got more distant after being stuck in the Fairy Sphere for 7 years.
Juvia always avoided talking about her past. But today, that all changed. After asking Gajeel in private and him informing her that Romeo Conbolt had been taught Rainbow Fire magic by Totomaru, Juvia decided to use that information and pay the Pyrokinetic a visit.
Oak Town had hardly changed over the several years ever since Phantom’s disbandment. The old building had been demolished long ago but the town itself remained mostly the same. That emotion she felt again, nostalgia. Juvia had been feeling it for awhile, but can’t seem to describe *how* it felt like. She wasn’t sure how to present herself to an old acquaintance, so she went in with her usual blue coat and hat.
It didn’t take long to locate the building Totomaru worked in. It was a magic school located in the middle of town. The building had stone walls all over and wasn’t terribly large. The water mage was able to locate Totomaru’s room pretty quickly. Juvia could feel her chest throbbing the closer she approached the room. It was late in the afternoon so he shouldn’t be teaching right now.
To her surprise, the door is already open. Juvia slowly pokes her head inside. The room was dimly lit, most of the light shining in from outside the room. It was also rather tidy, as it was just cleaned up earlier. There were about six student desks and a larger desk facing the smaller ones. It certainly resembled a normal teaching room. There was a wooden board with several drawings of fire and text, as well as a crude drawing of one Natsu Dragneel with a large red X over him.
Juvia could see the man she was looking for tidying up his desk. His physical appearance was very recognizable, even with a new red coat. His back was facing her, he hadn’t noticed anyone entering the room yet. Juvia took one nervous step and happened to step on a loose piece of wood that made a creaking sound.
“Sorry, class is closed for the day.” Totomaru spoke, standing up straight and closing a booklet on his desk. “You can come back tomorrow, I’ll be here pretty early.” He waves his arm, gesturing to leave the room to whoever he’s speaking to.
“...Um…” Juvia stutters, she didn’t prepare herself on what to say to him. But it only took that one word for Totomaru to flinch and quickly turn around. He immediately recognized the voice.
Totomaru’s physical appearance hadn’t changed much in years. His hair was still half black and half white and still had the black line across his face. But he had facial hair now, showing his older age. He was still expressive as ever, gawking at the water mage standing in front of him.
“J-Juvia… I, uh, wasn’t expecting to see you…” Totomaru stutters, eyeing side to side. He clears his throats and shakes his head.
Juvia steps in, avoiding direct eye contact and slightly blushing. “May Juvia… come in?” She asks in a small voice.
“Heh, I see you still refer to yourself in third person.” Totomaru jokes, pulling up a chair and gesturing Juvia towards it. “Of course, please take a seat.”
Curving a tiny smile, Juvia enters and takes a seat. Totomaru walks behind his desk and pulls out some small tea cups. He pours water in both cups and gently slides one to her. Juvia quietly thanks him and takes a sip, Totomaru taking a seat behind the desk and sipping his cup as well.
This was the first time Juvia had reconnected with someone, so she wasn’t sure what to say. The atmosphere was very awkward as neither of them said a word for minutes. The throbbing in Juvia’s chest hadn’t left yet, in fact it was worse. Why couldn’t she find the words on what to say? She feels more sadness rather than joy in this situation.
“So…” Totomaru breaks the silence. “Have you been well lately?”
Juvia nods. “Y-yeah. How about you, Totomaru?” She manages to look him in the eye.
Totomaru smirks and scoffs, gesturing his cup towards the student desks. “I’ve been teaching for over 5 years now. I’d say life has been pretty good on my end lately.”
“Juvia sees.” Juvia smiles. “She’s glad. She has heard that you helped young Romeo learn Rainbow Fire magic. He’s a strong young man.”
“Is that so?” Totomaru responds with a hint of pride in his voice. “Well he had a pretty good teacher.”
The two share a chuckle, followed by deafening silence again. Juvia was starting to get a little more comfortable. She finishes her cup and places it on the desk, looking back at the fire mage.
“Have you been talking with Sol and Aria lately?” Juvia asks.
“We all went our separate ways, but we’re still in touch.” Totomaru answers, putting his cup on his desk. “On occasion I receive letters from them, but we haven’t exactly met in person in years. They’re both doing well though, still their old selfs.”
“Ah… that’s good to hear…” Juvia comments, her smile now appearing a little more sad. She stares down and her smile drops to a frown. “... What about Jose?”
Totomaru leans back and stares at the ceiling. “Haven’t heard from him ever since his arrest.” He answers without hesitation. “I don’t even know if he’s still alive or not.”
Juvia flinches, not expecting the quick answer. But also not surprised by said answer. She slowly raises her head and looks back at Totomaru. Her lips begin to tremble, the words unable to escape her mouth. The fire mage raises an eyebrow, noticing Juvia’s expression.
“... What’s on your mind, Juvia?” Totomaru asks.
Juvia takes a deep breath and bows her upper body. “J-Juvia apologizes! The truth is… Juvia had avoided thinking of all of you! She never thought of getting back in touch for many years! Not even send any letters! For a while… she had forgotten about you all and her time in Phantom!” Tears start pouring from her eyes, voice raspy and full of regret. “Juvia feels… awful!”
Totomaru was caught off guard and raised both his hands. “W-woah woah! There’s no need to feel that way! It’s alright, I promise! Besides, you’ll flood the room if you keep crying like that!”
Juvia takes a hitched breath, wiping her face with an arm. She lets out a few hiccups before glancing back up. Totomaru chuckles and lays one arm on his desk.
“Listen, there are times where people drift apart. That’s normal in life.” Totomaru educates, raising a finger. “I don’t think any one of us expected you to think about us all the time. Not thinking of us doesn’t mean you forgot about us. I mean, you came here because you remembered me. And you still remember the others.” He points out.
Totomaru proceeds to open up a drawer and dig through it. “Besides… I haven’t forgotten about you either.” He then pulls out a small ghost-like white doll.
Juvia gasps, her eyes widening. “Y-you still have that…?”
“Of course. You remember what these represent right? These dolls are meant to bring in good weather.” Totomaru explains, putting the doll away and closing the drawer. “But it’s also a reminder of the people I used to know. I have items reminding me of the others too.”
Juvia softly smiles, slightly lowering her head. “You’ve changed quite a lot, Totomaru…”
“You think so? If anything, you changed a lot more.” Totomaru points out, to Juvia’s confusion.
“W-what do you mean?” Juvia flusters.
“I knew it when I saw you a couple years ago.” Totomaru begins. “I saw you at the Grand Magic Games. You were once very secluded towards others. None of us could really get a read out of you. But now, you’re smiling, flustered and even crying. It’s like you became a completely different person, one full of light in her life.”
Juvia manages to smile a bit more brightly, her eyes looking back at Totomaru’s “...Indeed. Juvia had found her light. She’s been grateful for the life she has now.”
“And what would that light be?” Totomaru asks.
“Why, it’s my lovely Gra-” Juvia almost answers immediately, but stops herself. It’s true that meeting Gray Fullbuster and being with him has filled her with much joy and love. But something didn’t feel right. While Gray is the most important person in her life, there are others that also fill her with love and joy. Many she can call friend and comrade. Much like Gray, people she calls family. “... Being a part of the Fairy Tail guild has been the light Juvia wanted to see for so long…”
Totomaru smirks. “And I’m sure it’s a similar story for Gajeel.”
Juvia nods. “Juvia admits… while she doesn’t like to think of her past. In a way, she is still grateful to have met all of you. I’m thankful to Jose for reaching out to a lonely gloomy girl like me, even if he turned out to have ulterior motives…” She recalls. “But, Juvia is so happy to be in Fairy Tail. Her friends, her lovely Gray. She wouldn’t trade them for the world.”
Totomaru scratches the back of his head. “It seems we both found a new path in life we’re happy with.”
“Speaking of… What made you want to teach?” Juvia wonders.
“Well… it's for two reasons.” Totomaru shows two fingers. “One, I want to teach a new generation of young mages. Especially since I don’t want them to go down a similar path I did back then.”
“You don’t need to be hard on yourself.” Juvia comforts as she tilts her head. “And… the second reason?”
Totomaru proceeds to pick up his teaching stick and smacks it on the wall behind him, the stick pointing right at the crude Natsu Dragneel drawing. “This guy.”
“N-Natsu?!” Juvia sputters.
“Yes, him!” Totomaru exclaims, abruptly standing up and clenching his fists. “That neanderthal is a crime against fire magic! And the children of today always say ‘I wanna be like that Salamander!’ or ‘Salamandar is so cool!’” He rants, slamming his palms on his table. “What’s so cool about him?! I refuse to let the new generation be like him!”
Juvia was taken aback at the teacher’s sudden rant. She proceeds to laugh out loud, which catches Totomaru off guard.
“Don’t laugh! I’m serious!” Totomaru objects.
Juvia calms down, still smiling at Totomaru. “Apologies. Juvia guesses some things don’t change for everyone. But, she is glad you are resolved in your teaching.” She compliments.
Juvia proceeds to stand up and once again bow her upper body at her old friend. Not in an apologetic way, but in a thankful way.
“Juvia is thankful to have seen you again, and for your comforting words.” Juvia thanks, raising her body and smiling brightly at him. “She can find comfort, knowing you are doing well.”
Totomaru pauses for a second, seeing just how much Juvia had really grown. This wasn’t the gloomy witch of the Element 4 anymore, but an outward girl full of joy in her life.
“...Yeah. Same at you, Juvia.” Totomaru softly smiles.
Outside the school entrance, Juvia prepares to leave as Totomaru stands by the front door.
“Juvia promises to start writing letters to you! As well as think about you more often! And Sol! And Aria! Jose too!” Juvia assures, determined steam puffing out her nostrils.
Totomaru laughs. “No need to get too hung up. Focus on your own life mostly. But I’ll look forward to reading your letters. And tell Gajeel I said hi.”
Juvia nods. “She will! He’ll be happy to hear from you!”
As the two wave goodbye and Juvia makes her way back home, the throbbing on her chest has long since vanished. But her chest still had a certain feeling in it. One that remained the entire time she first stepped foot back in Oak Town. Juvia finally started to realize what the unique emotion of nostalgia felt like.
It felt warm.