Work Text:
it's been two years.
two years since she heard the explosion, two years since she get up in this fancy apartment, now all destroyed and dusty, it took her a moment to catch her breath, two years since she called her sister's name and never heard her sister's voice called hers back, two years since she hold her lifeless body, screamed, beg and cry for her to stay with her, two years since her last breath, and she's not sure hers didn't stop as well.
-
Vander tell the kids they have something to discuss after dinner, and the familiar buzz in the back of Powder's head return.
every since she lost her sister, they have those...meetings.
piltover decided to give us independent buzz the air in Zaun become more clean thanks to the kirammans buzz next year its going to open up the first hospital in the lanes buzz the council decided to give undercity kids better future, you kids can get scholarship for the academy buzz meet Silco buzz we use to be close in the past but we drift apart buzz but ever since... buzz buzz buzz
yeah, ever since that day it seems like everything just fall into place, Powder know she need to be happy about it, that things getting better for her family and Zaun, but she just can't, something back in her mind just tell her its wrong, it make her furious.
Vander's voice took her out from her thoughts "so," he started "I get good news"
they all sit in the table in the last drop, now close and empty, only family.
Mylo and Claggor look at Vander, can't wait to hear what he had to say, Powder just want it to be over so she could go back to her bad and end this day, whatever the news are, it's not important to her.
"you know that piltover decided to invest in the Zaun" Vander continue "and part of it is building new homes, they decided, because...because of what happened, to give us an apartment, completely new"
the buzz in Powder head go out of control, she didn't say anything, but she couldn't even look at Vander's face.
"wait, it's means-" Mylo started
"yeah" Vander said "you guys can't stop living in the basement, you get to have real home, with your own rooms and everything"
"I'm not moving" Powder suddenly said, it get them by suprised, Powder almost never talk when they have those meetings, and she even less being so negative about it.
"Powder, you can't stay here-" Vander try to reach her
"why not?" she avoided his touch "I'm perfectly fine here, I live here most of my life, I don't see a reason to change it"
"you guys are getting older, you can't live in the same room anymore" Vander try explaining to her "also, you get a chance to get better-"
"what were going to do with Vi's stuff" she cut him "she's moving with us?"
"I.." Vander didn't know how to answer her.
Vi's bed wasn't being touched since that day, Powder don't have the nerve to move anything, everything have to be in its place, keep it like Vi loved it, it's was stupid, she know no one understands it, but she won't let anyone touch it either, not to mention remove it completely.
"we can" Claggor's said, his eyes move from Powder and Vander, nervously "we can take her stuff and put her in the basement, of the new apartment"
"or we can keep it here" Mylo suggested in in quite voice "it's not like...it's not like she's going to use it, anyway"
"I don't know, I don't want is best to keep it here" Claggor said "I mean, Vander you probably want to use the basement here, no?"
"it's not an issue at the moment" she hear Vander's voice far away, all she can see in front of her is this damn day, in this piltover's apartment, the body in her arms.
Powder's buzz move from back of her head to her entire body, she couldn't do it anymore, her family being talking about her sister, her sister like she's in their way from their better life a head of them, that her lose is nothing more than an opportunity, and while they keep moving on, they want to put Vi in some box in a basement, away, forgetting, not needed anymore.
"you are not taking her anywhere" Powder try to keep her voice low as much as she can "and you don't put her in some basement so she won't interrupt your new shiny life"
"Powder!" Vander raised his voice, he never did it before, not to her anyway, but she find she didn't care so much
"you can all move to this new house if you want, I'm staying here with her"
"Powder, you being irrational, I know this is hard for you, but we need to move forward" Vander try to say more gently
"we understand you, she was our sister to-" Claggor try to get up and come close to her but Powder jump from her sit.
"no she wasn't, she was my sister, mine, not yours!" she could feel the tears on her face alongside with the relief in her heart for finally get to say what she thought for so long "and yes it's hard for me, and you don't understand shit, because if you did you'd never sit here talking about it like she's just some...meaningless thing you need to figure out what to do with, her sacrifice give you guys anything you ever wanted, didn't it? so now, when you get your fair share she means nothing to you! so don't get to sit here and pretend shes your family!"
the room went quite for a moment, everyone just looked at her, after a while she see Vander's mouth start to open, probably want to tell her she crossed the line, but she didn't stay to listen, she walked away from them and go to her room, leaving them to keep discussing about the next best thing that come out of her lost.
it's been minute or hours, Powder couldn't tell, time is been weird for her since than, but she heard the basement's door open.
she didn't need to turn to see who it is, she can tell by the heavy boots sound from the stairs it's Vander.
she closed her eyes, she's not a kid anymore, it's not like if she don't see him and pretend shes somehow else she won't need to face him again, but she hope it would work, because she just can't do it now, or ever to be honest with herself.
"hey pow" he said in gentle voice, she can hear him sit beside her bed, she still didn't turn to him, he knows she's awake and listening though, she can't fool him.
"I know you probably don't want to talk about it, but we kind of have too"
"no we don't"
Vander sigh "your brothers are very hurt, and I know you don't actually believe what you said" he ignored her stubbornness, try to make her talk anyway "you know we love Vi deeply, it's have nothing to do with blood, we all grieving"
"not like me" Powder suddenly said, turn to him, it took her few minutes to talk, she need to find the best words to make him understand how different they are, Vander didn't push.
"sometimes Ekko talk about clocks" she start "how the one he get are stuck in the same minute and you need to fix it, sometimes you can, sometimes it's stopped forever"
"mine stopped the same day with Vi's" she could feel the treas in her eyes "for me, time didn't move forward, I'm still there, still holding her. and I just can't understand how you all can just...keep going, how can you not drown in the same pain that I feel everyday"
"and I keep thinking, what's the difference between us, because it feel so easy for you, to live, to laugh to...benefits from what happened to her, while I'm still waking up at night, looking at her bed and hope to find her there"
Vander close his eyes, she can see his pain, but selfish part of her couldn't stop, he want to talk about it, right? so she will.
"and most of the time I keep quiet, I say, they don't love her like me, she's not important to them like she was to me, it's her blood in my veins, that's why I feel it like that and you dont"
she finally sit up, her emotions couldn't let her stay still anymore
"but I'm still...I'm so angry, at you, Mylo, Claggor, me, everyone. she did everything for us, she put herself out there for her family and for what? so the people she cared about the most just toss her aside and only find use in her to get something for themselves?"
she look up, she see that Vander eyes on her, she can feel he have something to say but hold it back. she want to stop herself from say the next thing, because it's ugly and painful, and she can see in his eyes what she say affecting him, but she can't, her sister fight for her, for them all her life, how can she back off now, when her family treat her memory so poorly?
"how can you to do this to her? to even suggest us to move away?" Powder's voice cracked "she lived here, this was her home, all our memories in this room, and you want to just...leave her behind, like she never exists in the first place, put her stuff in dark corner in some place and keep her there? my sister deserves better than that, and I won't let you or anyone do this to her"
it's look like Vander wait to see if Powder have more to say, when he realizes that she speak everything on her mind, he took a deep breath "I knew your sister even before she was born" he started "your mom told me and Silco she's pregnant, and she needed things being better yesterday because she's going to have a baby girl and she can't let things keep the way it is if she bring a new life to this world"
"we...I promise your mom that Zaun would be a better place so Violet can live here care free, it didn't happen"
she never knew those stuff, she knows Vander as her parent's friends, but she didn't know they try to fight for her sister.
"before we go to the protest on the bridge, your mom took me aside and told me that if something happened to her and your dad, that I would take care of you too. I brushed it off, youre going to be ok..."
Vander stop for a faw minute, it's looks like he battle with himself to keep going or not, but he decided to continue.
"I managed to keep this promise for 4 years, til...but I still didn't fulfill the first one, and now I...didn't fulfill the second either"
"me and Vi have a lot of discussions, she was..." he laughed "she was a stubborn one, no one could move her from the ideas she put in her mind, you know how she was"
she did, she remembers the clashes between them, even though they were close, they have a lot of arguments, Vi always think she knows better, and almost never give up on what she believed, no matter the consequences.
"one of the things she use to tell me that she don't want you to grow up how she did, she want more for you, that you can have the childhood and the innocent she never could experience"
Powder can see now the tears in his eyes, he try to hold it back the entire conversation, it's rare to see him like that...
"I miss her, everyday, words can't even describe what happened inside of me since the moment they told me" he said in heavy heart "she was more than my daughter, and I feel like a piece of me is missing"
"and to tell you the truth, I'm not comfortable with what happening either, neither dose your brothers, but I can't fail Vi again" he looked in her eyes, "you understand? she fight hard so you can have this, it was her dream, and I need to do it for her"
"I'm not trying to make her go away or make you forget about her, we could never do it, i know it's painful, but...its just a room, the memories of her is in our heart, not here. she's always with us, even if physically we apart, and you can always come here if you need it, I won't touch the bed if you don't want me too" he said softly
"but, and I say it with heavy heart, we have to move forward, Vi would kick my ass if she see me let her family just drown in pain"
Powder laughed, for the first time since forever.
"So, what do you say?" he said, sound a bit more light, his warm hand caressing her face
"I'm sorry for speaking like that, I just...those changes, it's so hard on me, Vi deserve to enjoy those things just as much as we do, and see we get it because of her....its drive me crazy"
"I understand, it's ok"
"but, I don't want to fail her either, I want her to be proud of me, of us, that we make zaun better for her"
"So you won't entrench yourself to the basement?" he said with a smile
"no" she laughed again "but...I don't want Vi to stay here, either, I think I have a better use for her things, something that could...honor her memory"
Vander look at her with affection "whatever you decide to do, I'm sure it be wonderful"
--
later on Powder go out of her room, she see Mylo and Claggor are still sitting on the table, talking quietly with each other, she was worried to approach them, but she have to do it.
"hey" she said in small voice, both boys look at her, didn't say anything "I just...I want to apologize, for what I said earlier, I was just angry and you don't deserve it"
"it's ok, we understand-" Claggor start to say but Mylo stopped him
"no its not, it wasn't ok and we don't understand, and if its already in the open, let's talk about it"
Powder nod, fair, she was way out of line, she sit next to Claggor.
"Vi was our sister too, we might not were close like you two but she was our sister nonetheless" Claggor open
"I was so jealous of you because of that" Mylo continued "I look up to her so much, I never has siblings before, and everything I did was to get her approval"
Powder understand this feeling completely, she felt like that so many times herself.
"wheh she...died, Mylo and I fall apart, but we never let you see it, we didn't want to be a burden as well, also, we wanted to protect you from this" Claggor said.
"I still see her in my dreams" mylo said in his quite voice "I still look for her in the street, it's not over for me, as well, but I know Vi would tell me to stand up and keep moving, so..I'm trying"
"So, we do understand your pain, believe me non of us are too excited about this, and it's not fair for you to use it against us when this topic is so hard to begin with"
"I know, im so sorry I took it out on you, I shouldn't never say those words, I understand it now" Powder apologize again
"good, I'm glad, you also need to know that, you don't need to carry it alone, we're on the same boat, and you can talk to us if things get to heavy"
Mylo and Claggor put their hands close to hers, she took both of them, appreciate their understanding and care even after the way she treated them.
"and for what it's worth" Mylo said "I hate to think of moving her stuff either, maybe I'll stay here with you, those pilts can shove their new apartment"
"it's probably ugly anyway" Claggor agree with a smile
"no" Powder smiled as well "Vander talk me to move out too"
"traitor, I was about to get some chains!" Mylo laughed
"So, what do we do with Vi?" Claggor asked in a small voice.
"I have a place, i found it a while ago when I needed some space, I have an empty room in it so I thought..." she said "I'm not strong enough to take it alone, can you help me? I think our sister deserves some pretty place to cherish her"
Mylo and Claggor exchange looks
"sure pow" Claggor said, caressing her hair
"I think it's a great idea" Mylo agree
---
after a month the family moved to their new home, even though most of Vi's belongings go to her memorial, her blanket and her favorite toy that Vander manages to find, come to the new place and sit in the living room, so everyone can see it.
it's still hard, but Powder reminds herself Vander's words, that is what Vi fought for, its what she wanted her to have and it's just a room, and her sister, no matter where she is, always with her.