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When Seiya passes through Usagi's doorframe and into her bedroom it seems like his immediate objective is to touch every single item she owns.
He runs his hands over her beaded lampshade, passively takes a book off her bookshelf and when he goes to set it down onto her desk he picks up her snow globe and shakes it vigorously.
“Hey, be careful with that!” Usagi protests as she snatches the globe away. “It was a gift.”
Seiya lets her but Usagi hardly has time to set the heavy glass ball back down before he starts rummaging through her jewelry box.
She reaches over and closes it sharply, narrowly missing Seiya's fingers as he yanks them out. “Stop touching everything, Gosh!” Maybe this was a bad idea after all.
Even if Usagi was afraid to be home alone with her parents out of town she should've asked one of her friends to stay over instead. But at the time it seemed like a babyish thing to ask for and Seiya had volunteered.
“Okay okay, geez.” Seiya says sheepishly, he glances over her shoulder. “Hey, you have a guitar?”
Usagi follows his gaze to the pale brown acoustic guitar that’s tucked between her dresser and the wall. “Oh. Yeah but it's broken.”
Seiya frowns, brushing past her. He kneels down and pulls the instrument out and Usagi can't help but feel embarrassed at how dusty it is. He sits down on the floor plucking the strings experimentally.
“It's not broken.” He mumbles after a few minutes. “It’s just not tuned.” He tinkers with the dials on the side for a moment and when he plays a few notes Usagi is annoyed to realize it sounds way better than all the times she’s played it.
Show off.
Seiya is still strumming the guitar when he goes back to looking around the room.
“Is that your boyfriend?” he asks when he spots the framed picture on Usagi's nightstand.
“Fiancé.” She corrects instead of answering.
Seiya doesn’t look impressed. “He has a weird haircut.”
“So do you.”
Seiya looks like he wants to laugh. “Fair enough.”
***
“It’s just a lot of pressure, having people count on you.”
Usagi doesn’t really know why she’s opening up to Seiya of all people about “sailor moon stuff” but he seems to be paying attention. But, with how intentionally vague she’s being she's surprised he’s not asking for any more details.
They’ve been talking for hours already. Every now and again Seiya will get distracted by something else in her room but he keeps coming back to the guitar. Constantly playing half melodies and songs that don't seem to have an end.
“I get it, Being a leader isn't all it's cracked up to be.”
Usagi snorts.
“What?”
“Nothing, it's just, you're the lead singer of the Three Lights, sure, but a leader?”
To her surprise, instead of agreeing, Seiya actually looks a little offended. “They still depend on me.”
Usagi backs off, that was pretty rude of her. It’s not Seiya's fault that he doesn’t really know what kind of leadership she’s talking about; he’s just trying to relate.
And she’s pretty sure he was assigned his role just as she was assigned hers.
Sailor Moon isn’t the leader of the group because she’s the most qualified, or has the best ideas. Everyone follows her because she’s the princess and that’s that.
And unfortunately that means Usagi has to lead even when she doesn’t want to.
Every now and again, there are moments when Usagi feels like she and Seiya are more alike than they are different.
She's been quiet for a long time. And Seiya has too, his hands are still on the strings and he's watching her curiously.
“What?”
“You're really pretty. You remind me of someone I know. ”
Ah, then there's moments like this. Ones that Usagi doesn't really know what to do with, where she gets the sense that there’s more to Seiya than he’s letting on.
She kind of wants to get to know him but at the same time she doesn’t know if she’s allowed to.
It's easy not to think about these kinds of things when Mamoru is around.
Usagi doesn't really have to think about much of anything when Mamoru is around, it's the whole point of having a boyfriend.
Anyways, she doesn't want to worry about Mamoru right now. Her ego is still a little bruised from not getting a letter or a call from him all this time. But she doesn't want to not worry about him either.
Despite herself, she decides to put Seiya in the hot seat. “Who?”
“Hm?”
“Who do I remind you of?”
“Oh uhm… just someone.” Seiya mumbles, turning his attention back to the guitar. He shrugs. “Just a girl I know, or used to know. I don't know, I haven't seen her in a long time.”
Usagi climbs off her bed and comes to sit on the floor with him. “Did you like her?”
“What? No.” Seiya's answer is quick, but he's making a point not to look at her so Usagi knows she has him cornered.
“Liar. Did she move away? You should call her.” She tilts her head to catch his eyes. “I bet she'll give you a chance now that you're a big time rockstar.”
“I tried. She doesn’t answer.” Seiya replies, surprisingly seriously. He shakes his head. “But who cares, we should prank call your overseas boyfriend instead.”
“I tried, he won't answer.”
Usagi's expecting a jab after that, a snide comment or something but Seiya just sighs and holds out the guitar to her.
“Here, I fixed it. Play something.”
“I don’t know how.”
Seiya makes a face. “But…it's yours, isn't it?”
Usagi pouts back. “Yeah, but I never learned how to play it.” She can't help but feel like this new line of questioning is her karma for prying into Seiya's personal life.
“It’s easy, here I’ll show you.”
Usagi takes the guitar in her lap and Seiya leans over her, adjusting her fingers on the strings. Usagi doesn’t really realize how intimate the action feels until it's already happening and she can tell by the way Seiya's face is slightly red where it wasn’t before that he’s thinking that too. But if he is he doesn’t say anything.
It’s actually kind of…frustrating, Seiya will flirt with Usagi all day long and then, when she’s right there, right in front of him, that’s when he’ll decide to keep his distance.
Whatever, Usagi is a woman of action, of intention. One that doesn’t need an invitation to help herself to whatever or whoever decides to let themselves into her room, into her space, into her life.
Maybe when she leans forward and kisses Seiya it’s because she's tired. Tired of writing letters to no one and calling a phone that just rings and rings.
Maybe she’s fed up of feeling like she’s just going through the motions, mindlessly following the path laid out in front of her.
Sure, she and Mamoru were in love in another life but in this one? It feels like they're just playing house.
Except Mamoru gets to be the husband and Usagi is the needy housepet.
She doesn’t feel that way with Seiya, he's not perfect but at least he's listening. At least he pays attention, treats her opinions with as much weight as he can.
Maybe with all their similarities, what Usagi sees the most in Seiya, is an equal.
Or maybe she just wants to use him too.
Perhaps all this really proves is that crybaby Usagi is only with her boyfriend because she doesn't want to be alone.
Whatever her reason is, Seiya doesn't really seem interested in it. He kisses her back, only stopping long enough to move the guitar from between them and gingerly set it down on the floor.
Of course.
And just like that she has his full attention. Usagi doesn’t know how many girls at school would kill to switch places with her right now but it couldn't hurt to speculate.
It makes her feel special, desirable, and a little bit woozy. It’s great.
Until it isn’t.
Funny enough, it's Seiya's earring that stops Usagi in her tracks. His hair is kind of short in the front and with her eyes closed and her hands everywhere Usagi can almost pretend she’s kissing Mamoru instead of betraying his trust.
But as soon as her thumb brushes against the cold piece of jewelry guilt starts pooling in her stomach until it claws at the inside of her ribs.
Seiya actually notices the tears rolling down her cheeks before she does.
“Hey, what happened?” He says quietly and with more gentleness than Usagi thinks she deserves right now. “Are you okay?”
Usagi opens her eyes and even though her blurry vision Seiya looks nothing like Mamoru. In fact at this moment they couldn't look more different. She feels sick.
God, what have I done?
“I think you should leave.”
Seiya blinks. “What, why?”
“Because- Because it's getting late!” Usagi stammers, scrambling to put as much distance between them as possible. “And I don’t even have anywhere for you to sleep. And I’m not even supposed to have people over without permission.”
It’s three frantic excuses, one after another and Seiya doesn't seem to buy any of them. “Am I a bad kisser or something?”
Usagi claps a hand over his mouth even though he’s already finished speaking. Her heart is hammering. “Be quiet! I'm serious, you can’t tell anyone else about this!”
Seiya pulls her hand away by the wrist. “Neither can you! Besides, what's everyone gonna think of me if I get caught sneaking out of a girls house in the middle of the night?”
“I don’t care!” Usagi pleads, hurriedly stuffing Seiya's things into his bag and his bag into his arms. “Just go home, okay?”
“Okay okay I’m sorry, I promise I won’t tell anyone.”
Great, and now she's making him apologize. Usagi feels more terrible with each passing second and when she ushers Seiya out of the front door and shuts it loudly behind him she doesn't feel even a little bit better.
It isn't until she comes back to her room that she notices the photo frame, with the picture of her, Mamoru and Chibiusa in it, is face down on her nightstand.
Maybe Seiya left it that way, it wouldn't surprise her. He'd been the one to ask her if she had a boyfriend, and he'd been the one to invite her out on that date to the fairgrounds.
But she'd been the one to cross the line.
The photo is still facing down when Usagi finally crawls into bed that night.
Usually she’d look to it for comfort.
But tonight she feels too ashamed to prop it back up.