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Amy watched Sonic run away, a cloud of dust trailing behind him. She stared as he disappeared into the horizon and for minutes after that.
He's leaving her. Again.
Amy had been here before. More than anything, she wanted to run after him, demanding that he stay or apologize for whatever she could or ask what she was doing wrong. This was bad and she felt like she was dying and she needed to make it right.
But Amy was better than this. Sonic had a good reason to leave this time, but even if he didn't, she wasn't the boss of him. She wasn't that little girl who would run after Sonic demanding that he marry her. She wasn't going to get angry. She wasn't going to get sad. She was fine, she was fine, she was fine.
She finally sat down on the grass. Deep breaths, Amy told herself. He's not leaving you forever. No crying this time. Use your grounding techniques.
What could she see? Massive trees towered over her, even as she sat at the top of a massive hill. The sky was a bright, cloudless blue.
What could she hear? Birds chirped back and forth, singing beautiful songs to each other. Water flowed in a distant stream.
What could she feel? The sun's rays, usually warm and gentle on her skin, were hot. They were burning her. The wind ruffled through her fur and her dress.
Breathe in, she thought. Count to five. Breathe out. The fire that started to well up inside her reduced back down to an ember.
To Amy's side were the remains of the picnic. The sandwiches were still in the basket, but everything else was set out, untouched.
Sighing, she picked up her phone and scrolled through her contacts. She chose one out of instinct and waited through three rings until it went through, then spoke through forced cheer.
"Hi Blaze! I’m at Leaf Storm. Have you had lunch today?"
Amy didn't know what happened. She really didn't.
One day, Amy felt like a whole person. She made scrapbooks when she was happy and read tarot when she was scared. She went for walks in the sunshine and talked with her animal friends. Sure, not having many people around was a little lonely, but she was happy.
And then one morning, by the lake, a tarot reading said she'd find the hero of her dreams. And then she Sonic, who saved her life from Metal Sonic.
Slowly, over time, she found herself unable to stop thinking about Sonic. Why wasn't he around? What was he doing? Were they still friends? And suddenly the tarot deck on her shelf was covered in dust and the photos on her table had been there for weeks and all that mattered that day was whether or not she saw Sonic.
And she knew something was wrong! She knew this wasn't okay! But Sonic was her first friend and she just couldn't get enough time with him. He kept running off to do his own thing and leaving her again and again.
Amy thought this was love. Maybe it was. But every time she tried to talk to Sonic, she could feel herself getting more and more intense, talking about dates and marriages and forcing him to be with her. And he kept running away faster and faster and seeing her less and less.
One day, she got to the worst of it. It was after they beat Neo Metal Sonic. She was lying on the beach, flipping through a magazine without reading any words. She looked up and saw Sonic and Tails walking in front of her. But before she could run over and say anything, she heard them talking.
Sonic said, "Boy, Amy's a lot, huh?" She was a lot? Was she too much?
Tails said, "Yeah. Sorry you gotta deal with all that." Tails was apologizing for her?
Sonic said, "Yeah, it's getting old." She's getting old? Are they sick of her?
Then they started talking about the Tornado. That was all they said about her. As quietly as she could, she backed away from them until she was far enough to run. She ducked into a rocky cave, where no one else was. There, she cried.
While Amy started to take the food out of the picnic basket, Blaze sat on the blanket they laid out, looking up at the cloudless sky. “Thank you for inviting me,” Blaze said, polite as always. “Are you sure you don’t want any help setting up?”
“I’m sure,” Amy said, handing a wrapped sandwich to Blaze. “Here, try this.”
Blaze bit into her sandwich and her eyes widened. "Amy, you made this?" Blaze asked, mouth still full of food.
"Of course!" she said, smiling pleasantly.
Blaze looked embarrassed to have talked with her mouth open. She swallowed before continuing. "I've never had anything like it! What's in it?"
Slow-cooked pork she slaved over for days. Homegrown mustard mixed with garlic, lemon, and jalapeno. A cayenne pepper blend made with twelve herbs and spices that took her months of trial and error to find the perfect flavor. Gosh, she was being bitter, wasn't she? "It's a secret," she said, winking and making a peace sign. “What were you saying?"
Blaze smiled. "Right. I’ve been helping Silver with his garden recently…"
Amy tried to pay attention to what Blaze was saying. Really, she was! But her usual cheer was replaced by a storm of dark thoughts. Wasn't she good enough? Why did she keep getting treated like this? What was wrong with her? She almost regretted asking anyone else to come with her, but she knew that being alone would just make her spiral worse.
Amy wanted to open up. She needed to. But could she talk about this with Blaze? She was so proper and mature and independent. Maybe Blaze could help Amy be more like her, but maybe she thought Amy was annoying and clingy now. Would Blaze leave her too?
Before Amy could make up her mind, however, Blaze put her hand on Amy’s shoulder. "Are you okay?" she asked.
"Huh? Yeah, I'm great!" she said instinctively.
Blaze kept looking into Amy’s eyes and try as she might to find anything else, there was just concern there. "Are you sure? You've been so quiet. It’s not like you."
"It’s– it’s fine. I’m fine!" Amy said, feeling her voice start to shake. She couldn’t cry. Not now.
“Amy, I’m your friend. You can talk to me. Please.”
The dam broke. Tears started falling down her face. She grabbed hold of Blaze and brought her into a hug. Amy couldn’t say words, she could just make little whimpers. Blaze stiffened, but only for a moment before wrapping her arms around Amy, letting her head rest on Blaze’s shoulder.
They stayed there as Amy’s crying slowly faded into sniffles. The sounds of birds chirping and wind rustling through the trees did little to calm her, but kept her company as her energy drained.
“What’s going on?” Blaze asked.
“Everyone’s always leaving me behind,” Amy said, her voice a little raspy. “And I messed up and I’m scared and I’m tired and I want to be better, but I just can’t.”
“Amy, I’m not going to leave you,” Blaze said.
“Yes, you are,” she said, feeling something sting inside her. Because it was true. Blaze was going to leave her.
“No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are!” Amy yelled, pulling away from Blaze. Her hands were shaking, but she clenched them tight because she needed to get this out. She needed Blaze to stop denying the truth. “Of course you are! Everyone does! Everyone is always running away from me! No one wants to be around me! Sonic was supposed to be here instead of you! But of course he couldn’t stay! He never does! And I’m trying to be better and it’s not working! So just leave me alone!”
Amy couldn’t see through her blurred tears. She didn’t want to wipe them away, she wanted to stay angry, but they fell anyway. She looked up to see Blaze’s face. Blaze was leaning away, hands up, scared.
Amy messed up again.
So she ran away. She heard Blaze yelling her name, but she didn’t stop.
After hearing what Sonic and Tails said, Amy hid in her house for the next couple of days.
The first day, Amy laid in bed. The second day, she drew a little comic about her other friends: Knuckles, Rouge, Blaze, Silver. The third day, she went outside to lay in the grass. Flickies flew by overhead and a few of them landed to keep her company.
Amy felt devoid of energy. It wasn’t fun being alone. It hurt. But she couldn’t act like the immature kid she was before. She was just too much. She knew that now. She had to be more mature and independent.
Three days after that, Amy was walking through Green Hill, looking out at the sunset and hearing the sounds of the wildlife. She was happy – it was a nice day, she was wearing her favorite pink dress, and the gnawing emptiness in her chest was almost unnoticeable.
A rush of wind whipped by the right side of her body, which soon came to a screeching halt. She was almost certain it was one of her friends, but judging from the blue afterimage, it was almost certainly Sonic. Amy pushed down the churning in her stomach at the idea of talking to him. It was fine. She wasn’t going to marry him, she wasn’t going to threaten him, and she wasn’t going to chase after him. In fact, she was going to be unrecognizable.
Sonic was standing a couple feet away from where he stopped. He turned to look at her and immediately jerked back in shock. Now that Amy knew what was going on, it hurt to see. “Amy?!” he exclaimed, looking like he was about to run.
Amy breathed in and out. This was going to be a normal conversation, not the last chance she would ever get to see Sonic. She thought about what Blaze would do. She would be calm and polite and refined.
“Hi Sonic,” she said in an even tone and with a pleasant smile. “I’m going for a walk. Do you want to join me?”
Sonic raised an eyebrow. “That’s it? This isn’t going to lead to a proposal or anything?”
Amy kept the smile plastered on her face. “No.”
Sonic slowly relaxed, then gave a small, genuine smile. It was so unlike his normal confident smirk or big grin. Amy hadn’t seen it for a long time. “Yeah, let’s do it,” he said.
And they did. They went on a nice walk and had a pleasant chat and everyone went home happy. Amy did it. She became normal.
Maybe if Amy could keep this up forever, everything would be okay.
Blaze stood at the top of the hill, watching Amy run away. To say that she was surprised was an understatement. She had no idea that Amy was carrying that kind of weight. Feeling like no one cared, feeling like no one likes her. Blaze knew exactly how she felt: growing up as the Imperial Princess of the Sol Empire and the Guardian of the Sol Emeralds, having no parents and only mentors was a heavy burden. In addition, Blaze's gift of fire was dangerous. If she didn't control it at all times, she could hurt someone. She had to remain calm, collected, and measured at all times.
With all that on her mind, Amy's outburst felt deeply familiar. Saying all the things that Blaze wanted to tell everyone growing up, everyone who distanced herself from her. Her mentor, a priest of the Sol Emeralds who always had a word of criticism and never a word of praise. The other children in the academy she attended, who were more than happy to laugh behind her back, but claim she was dangerous when she confronted them. Her court physician, who, despite being the one to prescribe her estrogen since she was a child, still never seemed to remember that she was a princess, not a prince. Didn't they know that Blaze was special? Didn't they know that she was trying her best to fulfill a legacy that she didn't even want? Didn't they care about how she was as a person, after all she did for them? After all she sacrificed for them? Blaze was their ruler and had to lead them, care for them, solve all their problems. In a world full of ocean, an element uniquely dangerous to her and her alone, she still had to go and fight the Robot Pirates, the Blackguard Pirates, Eggman Nega, without only a child as her backup because everyone else was terrified that as soon as she lost control of her emotions, she would lash out and hurt them despite the fact that she was restraining herself at all times to stop that exact thing, which they never appreciated–!
A blade of grass by her shoe caught fire. Blaze gasped, then stamped it out. Right. This wasn't about her. This was about Amy. She couldn't unravel now. Not when she had to care for Amy. She took a deep breath in and out, let all her emotion fill her chest and flow out. It was fine, she was fine, everything that happened to her was fine. With one last glance at the burnt grass, now flattened by her foot, she ran in the direction as Amy.
Blaze expected to find Amy right away. There was only a period of a few minutes before Blaze followed Amy in pursuit. However, the forest in Leaf Storm was dense and dark. Her sight was limited to only a few meters ahead of her. With the way her emotions were churning, she didn't want to risk using her fire powers and causing more damage than she already had. That meant no light to see and no flying above the trees. Searching on foot it was.
Just when Blaze was about to give up and hope that Amy returned to the picnic, she found her. Amy was crouched beside the largest trunk Blaze had seen all day. With the way that Amy was silent and curled up in a ball, Blaze nearly tripped over her.
"Amy! Are you alright?" Blaze said, reaching out to (but being careful not to touch) Amy. Amy silently shook her head. "Can I do anything for you?" she asked. Amy didn't make a move this time. "Can I sit with you?" Blaze tried, one last time. Amy didn't make a motion at that. Figuring that was the best she was going to get, Blaze sat down, back against the tree trunk.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, all the while Blaze's mind raced, trying to figure out how to make this better. She could try to reassure Amy, but that would feel completely empty. She could ask one of their friends to come, but Blaze doubted Amy would want anyone to see her like this. She could try to distract Amy and cheer her up, but that just felt condescending.
Before Blaze could come up with an answer, Amy broke the silence. In a quiet whisper, she asked, "Why can't I just be normal?"
Seeing the opening, Blaze quickly jumped in with the (safe, empty) advice she had heard countless times. "It doesn't matter if you're normal! You should just be yourself!"
"No, it's not!" Amy suddenly yelled, startling Blaze. "I try over and over to be respectful and kind and whatever else I need to be! I have to work so much harder than everyone else just to stop being too much! And it doesn't matter! I'm still going to get abandoned at the first convenience!"
Ignoring the way her head rang, her blood chilled at hearing her thoughts said by another person, Blaze tried to focus and say something appropriate. "We all appreciate you just for being yourself, Amy! I love you the way you are! And I'm sure everyone else, like Tails and Shadow and Sonic–"
Amy interrupted her, speaking in a low, quiet tone again. "This picnic was supposed to be for Sonic," she said.
Blaze's heart stopped. Amy didn't call originally want to call Blaze? "Wh-what?"
"He said he wants to be friends. He said he cares about me. I asked him to lunch a week in advance. He agreed. I slaved over making the perfect meal for the two of us. I arrived here. He said he needed to fight some Badniks. And then he just left. So I called you."
Okay. Okay, Blaze could do this. If she ignored the nausea she felt at being second fiddle to Sonic and the rapidly growing dislike she had for him, she could find the words to comfort Amy. "That's... not good, but I'm sure he had a good reason..."
"Of course he had a good reason!" Amy yelled, standing up. "He always has a good reason! He's the hero! He needs to save the world from Eggman! He's going on some adventure! He's helping one of our friends! But I never get to see him! Why does he keep running away whenever he sees me? Why do I need to keep chasing after him to get a conversation in with him? Why does everyone else take his side? Why does he get to be the hero and I'm the danger?" Tears were welling in Amy's eyes at this point.
Amy's panic and fear were feeding into Blaze's resentment. She could feel the mask she so carefully crafted to make sure she'd never hurt anyone begin to crack. This was bad. "I – I don't know..." she said, beginning to hold her head in her hands. The thoughts, the memories were overtaking her.
Amy pulled out her Piko Piko Hammer and begun to swing it at the tree. Every time she hit it, Blaze felt the ground and tree beneath her begin to shake. "Why do I keep getting pushed away?!" she yelled, punctuating the last word with a fierce hit. "Why does everyone leave me?! What more do I need to do?!"
The priests. They took Blaze away from her family, the king and queen, because of her powers. Her parents died. The priests pushed her away too. She was alone. She would always be alone.
Another hammer hit, another earthquake. Blaze felt the tree beginning to crack and tilt. "Sonic gets to run around! See people when he wants! Leave when he wants! Why can't I do that?! Why do I have to sit around and play nice and wait for him to see me?!"
So much responsibility. Rule her empire. Save the Sol Emeralds. Take out the pirates. Thwart Eggman Nega. Control her powers. Never, ever get caught slipping.
Tears were fully pouring out of Amy's eyes by this point. The tree's bark was splintering and the roots were coming out of the ground. "Am I not good enough?! Is there something wrong with me?! Am I dangerous?!"
Danger. Everyone in Blaze's life treating her like a time bomb that was about to go off. Never get angry. Never get upset. Save the world alone. Otherwise, she's a dangerous, violent, abusive–!
In a moment, everything snapped. One final hammer hit fully uprooted the tree, sending it toppling over. Before it could hit the ground, Blaze screamed. All her fear and anger and resentment and exhaustion she had to keep buried deep down was brought right up to the surface. With nothing to keep her powers in check, it was unleashed. The currently falling tree was engulfed in flame in an instant, from the bottom to the top. Then, just as suddenly, the flame was extinguished, leaving nothing but ash and soot.
Blaze and Amy, having both backed up from the tree once they realized what had happened, stared at it in shock for a moment. Blaze felt Amy's eyes turn towards her, but she was stuck staring at the space the tree had been. All those fears of hurting other people came rushing back. "Dangerous" echoed in her head in the voices of so many people throughout her life. Shaking and hyperventilating but otherwise unmoving, tears fell out of Blaze's eyes.
In an instant, Amy rushed over to Blaze, grabbing hold of her. Blaze didn't have the strength to hold her back. The guilt at endangering her closest friend when she was supposed to be comforting her was overwhelming. Blaze knew she had to say something. "I'm sorry," Blaze whispered at the same time as Amy. Both of them looked at each other, surprise on their face.
Amy talked first. "Blaze, I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have dragged you into my problems! I put your life at risk!"
"No," Blaze said quickly, shocked that Amy thought that of all things was the issue. "No, I'm sorry. I got too caught up in my problems. I could have killed you!"
Amy looked at her, the confusion on her face erasing the sadness. "What problems? You're so... perfect."
"Because I have to be. I have so many responsibilities to my dimension and I have this – this curse," Blaze said, summoning a small, controllable flame in her hand.
Amy stared at it, mouth open. The glow reflected from her eyes. "Blaze, your fire powers are beautiful. They aren't a curse," she said.
"It is," Blaze insisted. Amy had just seen Blaze at her worst, her most emotional and reckless and dangerous. She still thought Blaze's powers were good? That was both exhilarating and terrifying, like looking off the side of a cliff and getting ready to jump. Blaze needed to put the conversation back on track, or else it could take her somewhere terrifying. "I need to have complete and total self-control or I'm a danger to others. I could hurt someone. I could've hurt you right then!"
Amy held Blaze's other hand with both of hers and stared Blaze right in the face. "Blaze, you're incredible. You're kind, you're selfless, you're responsible, you're cool, and your powers are amazing. You couldn't be dangerous if you tried. Not like me."
Despite the blush growing on Blaze's cheeks and her immediate instinct to deflect, it felt right. She wasn't dangerous, was she? She was incredible, wasn't she? "Amy, you're incredible. Everything you said, everything about being abandoned, useless, and dangerous, I've felt it too. But I let it turn me into a shell of a person. You're vibrant. You're full of life. You show your caring towards your friends so openly. You're always trying, always helping, always friendly. I wish I could be you."
Amy's face grew soft, kind, and so very pretty. "I wish I could be you, too," she whispered. "You and me, we're the same, aren't we?" She laughed, smiling with the brightness of the sun. "This us who we are! This can be us!"
That fell onto Blaze like a bucket of cold water. "No. No, Amy, we can't act like this. We can't let others see us like this," Blaze said, hating the desperation that entered her tone.
"No, Blaze, don't you see? We don't ever have to be alone again." Amy looked at the space where the tree used to be and shivered. "That? The me that broke that tree? That was the happiest I've really been in a long time."
Despite how horrible Blaze felt reliving those memories, despite how scared she was after she burnt the tree, despite her current fear that she would never be able to go back to the way she used to be... she agreed. She finally grabbed Amy's hands in her own and smiled. Blaze knew her hand was burning hot, but Amy didn't try to move it away. She just kept smiling at Blaze.