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It's the first day of class, Hong's pacing around his room trying to find his ID. He spotted it near his closet, he grabbed it before heading out the room. Walking towards the kitchen to grab a pre-made sandwich, he heated it before leaving his apartment. He rode a motorcycle to his university as it's almost 30 minutes away and he don't know how to drive. Hong arrived at his university with a 20 minutes to spare, he looked around trying to find his class at the second floor. He found his class at Room 206, he entered and settled down at the end of the row near the back.
His first month was quiet and alone, he don't have friends yet and he's not making an effort in having one. He's observing his classmates, knowing their attitudes if he will like it or not. He spent his lunch days eating alone at fast-foods around the university sometimes spending it at cafes where he studies and write the lecture notes. It was okay for him being alone because his savings is growing and he have more money to spend shopping.
It was another day at class his classmates have gone out, he stayed at the room drawing something at his iPad when someone spoke in front of him "Hey, what are you doing?" he looked up and saw Nut, his classmate, he never spoke to him. On his side was their another classmate he don't remember the name. "Can we see this?" That classmate spoke, he showed them his iPad earning an amusement from them. They started talking to him, asking him about himself. He thought it was just curiousity so he led and talked to them until the next start class but when he came home, he saw that he's already added at the group chat they created. He looked at the members, he saw Nut and that boy there.
From there, they started including him and bringing him with them everytime they go out. He felt at ease as time goes by and he grew closer to Nut as he's always beside him at classes and always tag along with him wherever he wants to go. "Where should we eat?" Nut standing in front of him asked "Don't know, I want fried rice" Hong blurted out while writing their notes "M'kay let's go" Nut pulled him up not letting him finish what he was writing. He can't do anything as he now knows Nut, he will just complain if he don't get what he wants right away.
They walked out and strolled at the streets to the rice in a box cart, they bought the same one, beef rice. After some waiting, they got their foods to go and walked back to the university. They're going to eat it inside the room because the heat is getting unbearable. They sat at their seats and started eating "Hong" Nut called him, he whipped his head towards him while chewing his food only to be faced by a spoon full of green peas "I don't eat green peas" Nut said, Hong picked up his box and held it infront of him but Nut insisted to feed Hong from his spoon. Hong put down his box and opened his mouth still full of his own food, Nut happily fed it to him before returning to eating.
As if like fated, Hong, Nut and their friend group are now always together inside or outside the university. Doing school works together, groupings with each other thus Hong always groups with Nut, they became inseparable as months go by. They're now closer than everyone else, Nut always sat beside him talking to him only most of the time. Hong tagging along with him in school practices being Nut's only passenger despite of Nut being in a relationship, Nut made him feel like he's special. Special friend he thought. The friend group didn't have conflicts for the whole semester until the second semester entered it's most likely in an instant, the friend group's slowly falling out.
On March, the university planned a day tour for the first years where they will visit 8 different temples in one day. The friend group had a misunderstanding and is now fighting on what food to bring or they will cook or who's riding the van with who. Nut got fed up and ended up making a group chat with only Hong and William.
Nut: Let's leave them be and plan on our own
Hong: Okay, what we should bring?
William: They said we'll have breakfast provided by univ, guess we'll just have to bring lunch and snacks.
Nut: I'll buy and let my mom cook, for the snacks let's buy separately.
Hong: I'll send you the payment! See you two.
That's the start of their own group with just the three of them talking and not giving a damn to others anymore. The time flew and it's the day of the tour, Nut and William are already in the university since they live near while Hong's in the motorcycle with his backpack stranded in the traffic 10 minutes away from them.
Nut: @Hongshihoshi Where tf r u, u're late!!!!
William: Faster, Hong. Nut's grumpy here.
Hong: What should I do? Fly? This damn traffic's not moving!!!!
Hong arrived late but others are more late than him, he walked towards the van where they will ride with others "Too slow" Nut rolled his eyes at Hong "Shut up, I'm here right? Don't miss me too much" he sneered back. William already used their banter as if it's a daily thing just laughed at them. An hour past by before they left the university and head to the first temple, the three decided to sit at the back. Nut at the window side, Hong in his side, William on Hong's left side. Since there's still one seat beside William, one of their classmate occupied it. The ride to the first temple is not long as it's just near the university, it only took them 20 minutes to travel. They got out and payed respect not having much time to look around because it started raining, it didn't take long before they travel at the next temple.
The second temple are quiet far, it's a 30 minute ride this time. Hong's just scrolling through his phone when Nut nudged him "Ai'Tee" Nut called him in his nickname given by him too, he started calling him Tee for fun until he got used to it and became his nickname for him "Hmm?" Hong looked at him asking through a hum "Lean back, I want to sleep" Nut pushed him back slightly signalling to lean his back to the seat "Why? Just sleep" Hong asked confusingly but still leaned back. Nut didn't answer him and leaned against his chest making Hong stiff, Nut seems unbothered took his hand and placed it around his shoulder and laid it to his chest.
"Am I your mom huh?" Hong tried to argued trying to wipe out the thoughts coming to his mind, small gestures like this makes his mind and heart race. He's confused at first on why would he feel something like that, he thought it's normal to best friends but one day he realized that he feels something more than just friends. He tried to ignore it but he can't especially when Nut's always with him doing everything but be a just friend. He likes Nut, he knew since the end of first semester.
Nut grumbled "Let me sleep, I don't want to argue" he put on his earbuds and closed his eyes. Hong left him and tried to sleep too but his mind don't want that, he looked around the van looking if someone's eyes are with them but none. Luckily. After some time they arrived at the temple and took a quick tour around and payed respect before heading to the next one. The rain had subsided when they arrived making it easier to walk around, they stayed a little longer here taking pictures and videos with their friends. The fifth and sixth temple took a longer travel so they lingered longer there before they head at the nearest mall to have a lunch.
Since Nut, Hong, and William have a packed lunch, they ate at the mall parking lot. They opened the back of the van and laid their food offering the rest to the drivers they befriended. After finishing the meal, Hong rested and scrolled through his phone checking his social medias before Nut pulled him at the near empty lot to take picture "C'mon take my pictures Tee" he said passing his phone to Hong "Fine, stand there and be handsome" Hong said opening the camera before pointing the phone to Nut who stood slightly farther than him. He took photos until Nut decided it's enough, Hong started walking back to the van while Nut tailed him at the back checking his photos.
"Let's stroll around the mall!" William spoke the moment he saw Nut and Hong "Yeah let's go, I want ice cream" Hong answered getting his wallet before walking with the two. The cold breeze of air-conditioner hit them the moment they stepped inside giving them comfort, William led the way passing by stores until they pass by the shop they know. They entered and looked around the store for the things they might have interest "Hmm I'm looking for something that Phan like, if I see it here I'll buy it" Nut spoke beside Hong talking about his gf, he just shrugged and asked what it is. He should help his friend, right?
They ended up not buying anything at the store, they only fooled around and took picture to the big mirror near the entrance. An arcade is near from that store so they decided to play there, some of their classmates are already playing there. Hong bought some tokens and passed some to Nut before looking around the claw machines, he tried to get some but failed everytime until he just gave up and walked through the other games. He was busy looking around when a medium plushie popped infront of him "For you, Tee" Nut took down the plushie from eye level smiling at Hong who's shocked "For me? Don't you want to give that to Phan?" He asked confused not taking the plushie "Hmm I got it for you! Why would I give that to her?" Nut pouted trying to give it to Hong " Well, he's your gf why won't you get it for her?" Hong curiously asked grabbing the plushie from Nut and stared at it.
"You're the one who's here, Tee not her. I got it for you because I saw your loser ass not getting any" Nut teasingly argued earning a plushie slap from Hong "Ai'Nut! Take it back then!" Hong tried to throw the plushie but got blocked by Nut "Kidding! Take it, it looks like you! Cutie pie" Nut grinned turning his back from Hong calling William who's at the cars. Hong blushed from his friend's words, he stayed still looking at the plushie. It's a white bunny with pink dress and ribbons, it does have blush and indeed a cute one. Did Nut just called him cute? His heart raced as he tried to brush it off walking towards Nut and William who's now racing at a motorcycle game. He snapped photos and videos of the two laughing at their silliness, hugging the plushie on his left arm.
The three of them stayed more at the mall strolling around, it's half past 1 and they will travel to the next temple at 2, Nut pulled the two to a donut shop wanting a coffee and a donut before going back. They bought coffee and a box of donut deciding to just share, Hong tried to grab the box but Nut beat him to it "I'll carry it, just carry my phone and wallet. Thanks" he said carrying the box and their coffee out. William looked at them confusingly but didn't say anything. He sighed taking Nut's things and walked behind them.
When they arrived at the van, a professor informed them that they will skip the last two temples and instead will go to the big temple on the other city which is an hour away from them. By then, they will spend the rest of the trip there. Hong gone back to the van and sat at his seat, putting his and Nut's things inside the bag.He placed the plushie at his bag too. He then took out his extra shirt and changed, he don't mind anyway since the van was tinted. He's in the middle of changing when Nut entered, he looked at him before sitting down taking his extra shirt out too to change "Should we light a candle at temple later?" Nut asked while putting his shirt on "Hmm yeah, let's by souvenirs too. I've been planning that since the first temple" Hong answered folding his dirty shirt before putting it in his bag "Buy bracelets! I'll buy for Phan too" Nut leaned against him putting his head on his shoulder and scrolled through his phone. They stayed at that position until the rest comes back.
The trip to the last temple is a torture in disguise as they encountered traffic and their butts hurt from sitting at the van all day. Once they arrive, the three strolled around alone not listening to the professor who told them to stroll around by groups, well they're still a group but smaller. Nut and Hong offered a prayer at the candle lighting spot before going to the souvenir shop, Nut bought bracelets for him and Phan, Hong bought a keychain and bracelet for him while William bought a bunch of bracelets for him and his family. The trip ended smoothly, since the van will pass by Hong's street he asked the driver to drop him infront of his apartment instead of going back to the university.
After that tour, things quite turned around for Hong and Nut. They became closer, more inseparable and sometimes too dependent to each other. Since their course is IT, they depend their lives to their laptops. Finals are approaching and they are given a final group project, 4 members per group their professor strictly said. Nut, Hong and William are group mates, Hong somehow convinced his professor to let them have 3 members only. That's one of the things Nut likes about Hong, he have a strong relationship to professors because of his smart ass making him the top student of their batch. He's also the vice president of their department, president of their class, and vice governor of their university's student council. Everyone even the professors allows him to do what he wants making their lives slightly easier.
A month before their final presentation, they focused on the final project. As it gets too busy, Hong usually stays at Nut's house to do the project every after class and stays their until after dinner before going back to his apartment. The more frequent he stays with Nut, the deeper his feelings get. Nut and Hong didn't just learned about codes, they learned about each other too. Too deep to be considered as just best friends. After the final presentation, the stressed subdued and they took their semestral break. By this time, Nut, Hong, and William only talks on their group chat, too busy with their outside lives to meet. It's July, 3 weeks after the class ended, Hong's busy watching thai dramas he want to catch up on when he received a message. He checked it and saw it was from their group chat.
Nut: Wanna have a drink at my house?
He read, it's unusual to Nut to ask for drinks since he's quite not a drinker.
William: What's the occasion? Is it your birthday?
Nut: Dumbass, my birthday was almost 2 months ago!
Hong: It's unusual for you to ask to drink, are you heart broken huh Nutdan?
Nut: Yes, now answer my question or I'll leave this group chat blocking you two.
It surprised Hong to see that he guessed it right, he's just joking but found out it's actually the reason Nut asked to drink. He sighed typing a reply.
Hong: Fine, when?
William: Oh Nut's broken, I'll go!
Nut: Tonight ofc, go move your asses and be here!
Nut: @Jakrapatr don't make us wait your slow butt!
Hong laughed, he turned off his tv before getting up to take a bath. It's past 3 when he finished getting ready, he clinged his bag to his shoulder putting his charger inside before leaving. He arrived at Nut's a little past 4 pm, he called Nut to let him in "Should've just walk in, are you a new guest huh?" Nut bantered letting his friend walk first, Hong noticed his eyes are puffier than usual a sign that he just cried. He sat down the couch after greeting Nut's mom, Nut sat beside him leaning against him.
"What is it this time?" Hong casually asked as this event is not new to them, they know Nut and Pahn's relationship are not that ideal. They always fight but this time I guess it's something big to cause Nut to be like this "She broke up with me last night after we fought again over something small, she don't want to listen anymore just straight up told me to end our relationship because she's tired" Nut explained playing with Hong's finger not looking up once "She's always like that, her only solution was to end things. At first I was objecting every attempt and making up to her but I guess I got tired of this endless loop and agreed last night" He added his voice cracking at every sentence.
Hong tried to comfort his friend but he don't know how, he's sad for him but quiet happy for himself. They talk for more before they heard William outside calling, Nut stood up and let him. They're now seating at the porch, it's past 6 and they had a dinner first before starting to drink. Nut chose a hard drink, Hong tried to object but got convinced that it was just once in a while. Time past and they already drank 2 bottles of hard liquor. William's drunk singing out loud, Hong's drunk but can still think straight, and Nut on the other hand is unusually quiet. Hong looked at him and saw him reading something, his eyes full of tears. He tried to call him but he suddenly stood up and entered the house. Hong thought he would just go to the bathroom but he was wrong because not even a minute passed he heard a loud sob coming from inside. William looked at him gesturing to enter too, Hong stood up looking where Nut is.
Nut's now in his mom's lap sobbing loudly, incoherent words coming from his mouth as his cries are louder. William and Hong stood their watching their friend cry like baby, they stayed like that for almost 10 minutes before Nut stood up and entered his room. William offered to clean the porch and pushed Hong to follow Nut. He entered his room and heard the shower going on, he figured that Nut's taking a shower to sober up or to muffle his cries. William entered the room after some time "Where's Nut?" He asked, sitting at the floor "He's taking a bath I guess, he's already in their when I entered the room" Hong pointed at the bathroom door. They waited for Nut to come out, it took him time finish. When he came out, he's wearing a white shirt and boxers. His eyes so puffy, it made Hong laugh.
"Oh we're done?" Nut asked casually as if he didn't just cry his eyes out earlier "Yes, we finished remember and someone happened to be a baby" Hong teased "Baby my ass! You didn't see anything, okay?" Nut pointed at Hong before sitting beside him. William on the other hand, made himself a bed on the side of Nut's bed and slept not waiting for his friend to come out "This one's already dead, I thought he said he's strong? He even boldly told us he would go home after" Nut nudged William not getting a reaction. Hong laughed and looked at his friend, he snapped a photo of the sleeping William.
He saw the time that it's already midnight, he didn't bring any clothes because he decided that he will go home after. He stood up getting ready to get his things "It's 12 mn already, I'll go home" He stated "Stay here, it's too late to go home" Nut objected, slightly tugging Hong's shirt "Stay with me please" Nut added, Hong didn't react first processing what he just heard, did Nut want him to stay with him? He heard please, it's unusual for him to say that "I don't have extra clothes" Hong finally answered facing him "Then wear mine" Nut answered standing up to get clothes from his closet, he held it out to Hong "There's an extra towel in the bathroom, there's also an extra toothbrush. For the skin care, use mine it's hypoallergenic so it's safe" Hong just nodded and walked inside the bathroom, he took his time inside as he's trying to calm his nerves out. It's his first time spending the night at Nut's home as he's always going home after dinner.
He came out the bathroom wearing a big pink shirt and white pajama, he sat beside Nut who's scrolling through his phone "Mhmm you smell so nice" Nut spoke not looking up "Dummy, it's your shower gel of course you'll compliment it" Hong laughed slightly tapping Nut's head "I know, that's why it smells so nice" Nut stuck his tongue out. " "What side do you usually sleep?" he asked Hong "Hmm left side, I always face my right" Hong answered, laying down at the left part of the bed.
Nut turned off the light and settled down beside Hong, they started talking again about things they both give interest. They talk for so long they didn't know what time it is, when Nut checked it's already past 3 in the morning so he told Hong they should sleep. Hong face the right side, putting a blanket to his body and half or his face. He felt Nut facing him too but it's dark so he couldn't see him clearly, Nut's too close to him he's having a hard time to fall asleep. He don't know how long it's been but he felt Nut moving closer to him.
Hong stiffened when he felt Nut's hand bracing his waist, he thought Nut was asleep and unconsciously did it but he can't help but feel nervous. He's so near to him he can feel his breath, he tried not to move not, not even an inch. Hong's lost in his thoughts when Nut's arm moved upward, his hand rest on his cheek. Hong tried to look at Nut if he's awake but the moment he faced him, Nut pulled his face closer kissing him. It took Hong by surprise and pulled away almost immediately "Nut---" He tried to speak but Nut pulled him again to kiss, Nut just placed small kisses at Hong's lips before pulling away "Is it not okay? Don't you want it?" Nut asked Hong softly, stroking Hong's cheek. Hong didn't answer, he looked at his eyes through the dark. It didn't take a long for Hong to move, he kissed Nut again but this time deeper and sloppier.
Nut gripped Hong's neck to deepen the kiss, their tongues played together in their mouths. It was a kiss full of neediness and wanting, Hong lost in the kiss not giving a damn anymore if it's right or wrong. It led to a quiet make out session, not wanting to wake William up to that scene. Hong's hand steadied at Nut's nape and shoulder while Nut's hand roamed around his body, stroking his waist inside the shirt and playing with the pajama's band. Their make out session lasted long enough to tire themselves, Nut tried to do more but Hong pointed the sleeping William beside them "He might wake up" he stated, Nut sighed planting a last kiss at his lips. The two cuddled together to sleep.
After that night, things took a turn again. It was already September, a new semester just started. They are all now sophomores, new subjects but same faces as they're the only section in sophomore year of their department. Hong and Nut had a fall out, they're not as close as before. They still talk but not as frequent as before, still friends but colder and distant. Hong thought that it might be because Pahn's jealousy towards him so he just gave up and distant himself too to Nut. It lasted months, Hong's feelings slightly subdued because of their set up but it's still there, he still yearns for his best friend.
Then next year came, 8 months since they became distant to each other. Nut and Pahn broke up, again, but this time there's no more come back. Nut stated at their group chat that Pahn had someone else and he's not going back to her anymore. He's mad to her that he cursed her which he never did, Hong and William comforted and supported him. It was their finals again, same group mates just different project topic. Nut become more clingy to Hong this time, always messaging him late at night opening topics about his ex and things he found out. They often talk until midnight, Hong started hanging out to Nut's house again. And Nut started hanging out to his place too, too often that he already have a space in Hong's closet for when he sleeps there. Hong's feelings came back knocking his heart out, he didn't stop loving Nut but he's on the process of moving on but Nut hindered it by coming back to his life.
"Did you ever thought of dating me?" Hong asked casually looking at Nut, William was shocked at that question. They're drinking at Hong's place this time, it actually became their thing. Drinking too often whether it's Hong's or Nut's place but never William's. "Why would I? Never thought of it actually" Nut answered taking a sip from his bottle. It hurt, Hong felt it, he looked at Nut trying to see if he's lying or not "You never actually thought of it Nut? You're a clingy ass to Hong and it's just casual for you?" William asked in amusement.
Nut leaned back resting his hand on Hong's back "I never thought of it in the past, not once, but I liked him back then" He spoke in honesty making Hong and William choke on their drinks "You what?!" William yelled pointing at Nut then to Hong "What? Is it bad to like someone while in a relationship? I thought of that! But what can I do? I liked Hong since first year but never thought of dating him because he don't even like me back?" Nut explained. Hong cannot believe, what did he just heard? Nut liked him, since FIRST year.
"You're a fucking menace dude" William just exclaimed not knowing the words anymore. Hong stared at Nut too long for him to notice, he raised an eyebrow asking what it is. He don't know if it's the alcohol or what but he wants to confess everything right there, it feels like the time is right. Hong tried to speak but William interrupted him "Hey guys, I'm gonna go. P'Est's outside already" William stood up getting his bag "The fuck dude, I thought you're sleeping here?" Hong finally spoke up standing up too "Never said that, I'll go now. We'll have a date" William winked giving Nut a fist bump before patting Hong's shoulder "Bye, see you later" He waved his hand while walking out the apartment.
William always do that, leaving them behind. The reason? Est, his boyfriend, he started doing that when they started dating which was not more than a year ago. Hong locked the main door before sitting down beside Nut, the two didn't talk just drank the beers left. Hong was so lost in his thoughts Nut needed to nudge him aggressively "What?" Hong asked "I asked you three times if you want more beer" Nut answered him looking pissed "No, I don't want more" He answered looking at the bottles they consumed, it's already their fifth bottle.
"Are you thinking of what I said earlier, Tee?" Nut quietly asked him, Hong faced him thinking of an answer. He's obviously thinking about it but he don't know if he should I answer honestly or not. Hong decided to be honest "Yes, I was thinking about it. Why?" He's curious on why Nut asked him that "Are you second guessing being friends with me now?" Nut asked again, Hong shook his head. He leaned back looking up the ceiling "I actually liked you too back then Nut" He spoke, closing his eyes. Nut was surprised, he likes him back too "But you never said anything" Hong finally looked at him "I never did because I fear of losing you as a friend" he spoke tears starting to dwell up in his eyes "You're in a relationship, Nut. How can I confess my feelings to my best friend if he's in a relationship with someone else? Do you think I never thought of confessing? Well jokes on you I do think about it at least 6 times everyday!" he continued tears now falling to his cheeks.
Nut panicked, it was the first time he saw Hong cried. He grabbed his cheeks wiping away the tears "Fuck, I'm sorry. Tee, I'm sorry please" He apologized still wiping the tears from Hong's face "I don't know, I didn't know. I thought everything was just casual to you, I thought I was a jerk for liking you when you're my best friend. I never thought that----" Nut lost his words, he can't explain it anymore. Hong touched his hand that's still on his cheeks "Nut do you still like me?" He asked looking at his eyes "I love you, Tee" Nut confessed taking his hands back "The reason I distant myself was my feelings are getting deeper, I don't know if you like me back that time. I don't want to assume and I was still with Pahn, I don't want to hurt you. I purposely ignored you most of the time thinking that if I did that, you would leave me and I won't love you anymore. Dumb idea, I know, but I can't think of anything else because whenever I see you I want to confess my feelings" He explained not looking at Hong anymore.
"You hurt me" Hong cried pointing at Nut "You're selfish you know? You're a fucking selfish man! I was hurt when you distant yourself because I thought I am losing you and I don't want to lose you! I was lost since that day, I tried to forget my feelings but you suddenly came back as if nothing happened. I liked you, no, I love you, Nut. It hurts so much, I want my heart out of my chest" He put his hands in his face and cried more feeling his heart ache. Nut's eyes burned watching Hong cry, he pulled his hand out of his face making him look at him "Tee, I'm sorry" He apologized again "I hurt you, I won't forgive myself for that" Nut pulled Hong into a hug, Hong continued to cry to his chest "Nut, I love you. Since first year, I shouldn't have doubted myself and confessed. I should've taken the risk. I should've tried" Hong spoke hugging Nut tightly.
"I regret not telling you, every single day" Nut spoke "I want to make things right" Hong pulled away looking at him "Tee, I want to make things right. Please? Let me make it up to you" Nut held his hand begging "I want to make up for the times I hurt you, I want to make up for the things I never did but didn't, I want to openly love you this time" He continued wiping away the tears from Hong's face "I want to make up for the times I made you cry"
Hong just stared at him, unsure of what he will answer. Nut's tears are now falling from his eyes, his hands trembling while holding him. He never saw Nut like this. Yes, he saw Nut cried but this time is different. His eyes are full of yearning and begging, his breathing is heavy as if he's carrying a rock. And his words, he never thought he will say that especially at him. Hong cannot find an answer, not at this moment but he knows he want to try it. He wants to try everything with Nut, that's the only thing he was sure about.
"Tee?" Nut called him after getting silence as an answer. Hong smiled still not answering but he leaned closer pulling Nut into a kiss. If words can't answer then maybe a kiss will do. The kiss was deep, passionate, and slow. Hong pulled back first, placing his hand to Nut's cheek "I want us to try, Nut. I want you mine, I want to do everything with you. And I want to do things right this time" Hong finally spoke up, giving Nut an answer "I want to see where this love leads us, if it brings us to an end then we'll continue being friends but I hope the thing we'll start won't ever end" He added smiling at Nut.
Nut pulled and hugged him tightly "I promise you, it won't ever end. We'll take it slow, we need to take it slow for us to work. We don't need to rush things because right now, we have all the time just for us. No hindrance, no other people, just us two" Nut reassured Hong. They stayed like that for a long time, not saying anything, just savoring the time holding each other. Making up for the time they missed. It was the start of their love, a new chapter where feelings are outed and spoken. They might be unsure of the path they're going to take but they're sure of one thing; their love will never fail.