Work Text:
Shen Yuan waited in anticipation. There was only a minute left. The seconds were ticking by slowly. So slowly. It was almost unbearable. Almost.
Finally, the clock struck midnight.
Right on time, Airplane called him. The soft ringtone played across the room. Airplane probably just as excited as Shen Yuan was (not that he'd admit it, of course, he'd rather swallow a bag of nails than admit that he wanted to hang out with him).
Shen Yuan accepted the call. For a mere moment, they sat in silence until Shen Yuan heard a squeaky voice let out a curse.
SY: “Are you dying or something Airplane-bro?”
SQH: “Ah?! No, I almost dropped my noodles on my bed again. But OH EM GEE, Cucumber-bro, you sound so hot.”
SY: “Die.”
Shen Yuan's words were harsh yet they were betrayed by his lighthearted tone and the smile plastered on his face.
SQH: “My cucumber-bro is mean through text and through call huh…Does that mean you're mean in bed too? Maybe you're the type who degrades.”
Shen Yuan rolled his eyes in playful exasperation. He could hear Airplane's eyebrows raising deviously through the screen.
SY: "I will strangle you with a pillow. Is that mean enough for you?"
Airplane chuckled.
SY: “Anyway, you hack of a game developer, you said that Luo Binghe was meant to be a love interest?”
SQH: “Right to it huh? But yeah. Because you know, he's bisexual and all but I felt like this type of game would be more popular with the homophobic side of the visual novel community because it's a male power fantasy visual novel. I was right because no one except for you loves Bingboy. My poor son. Behated both in-game and IRL. Oh and another fun fact for you, there were meant to be two homo love interests!”
SY: “Huh? Who?! Gongyi Xiao? Shen Qingqiu?”
SQH: “Ah. Make that three, I forgot Shen Qingqiu existed EL OH EL. Gongyi Xiao was only ever meant to be a rival to Luo Binghe.”
SY: “How do you forget one of your own characters exist???”
Shen Yuan couldn't help but ask, his voice a bit too loud. He quickly shut himself up when he remembered that Luo Binghe was around. He didn't want to alert him or something. He quite liked his peace with Airplane.
SQH: “Right anyway, so there were going to be 6 main love interests. The main three. Ning Yingying, the childhood friend. Liu Mingyan, the peerless beauty. Sha Hauling, the temptress. Shen Qingqiu, the teacher. Luo Binghe, the victim-turned-emperor. There was also going to be a character called Mobei-jun who was literally just my perfect fantasy man. I'm talking big buff tits and a stone cold face that melts your heart away. His trope was the ice king trope. Cold and unbothered and mean, very mean but with a secret sweet side. I ended up not adding him to the game at all though because he didn't fit into the storyline. He still exists though, in my heart and dreams. And in Luo Binghe's memories, the two had sex together. Canonically. He is also his right-hand man but he just never pops up.”
SY: “You did add Mobei-Jun to the game. In Luo Binghe's character profile, there is written that he defeated a demon lord called Mobei-Jun.”
SQH: “Oh? Really? Huh. I forgot about that. Okay well, I never added him as like a character-character though. He's just mentioned off-handedly.”
SY: “Luo Binghe had sex with him?”
SQH: “Duh. That's how he has his bi awakening. Actually no, he finds both Shen Qingqiu and Ming Fan hot, but he thinks it's just an admiration thing. He only realises later that he was attracted to both of them. Or I guess still is? I don't know.”
SY: “And because of homophobes you just left all of this lore out?”
SQH: “And money. Mostly money. I love money.”
SY: “Money? Of course. Why am I not surprised?! You know, I am going to kill you, you hack of a game developer.”
SQH: “That was the reaction I was expecting! But listen, listen. I'm poor. Any poor person loves money.”
Shen Yuan sighed. Airplane's stories and characters had went to waste and Shen Yuan couldn't help but be upset by that, however at the same time, he understood his reasons.
SY: “The decision to change it to a purely hetero game was last minute or?”
SQH: “Uh, not really. A lot of the cutscenes that I drew for Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu made it in the game files, in fact when you do the hangout sessions you see them. You know the platonic ones, hanging out together and such. I was in the process of drawing Luo Binghe’s more romantic cutscenes when I scrapped them as love interests. I think I only managed to draw 2 romantic cutscenes of him…Wait, let me see if I can find them…I know that I still have both of them in the game’s file, just unused. I didn’t bother deleting them, so they're just there, somewhere. I think I have a copy of them both on my desktop. Give me a sec…God my desktop’s a mess. Oh here we are. Well, one of them is of Ming Fan sitting down on the steps of his throne while Luo Binghe met the viewers eyes and the other one is…I still can't find it. If I find it, I'll send it to you. I didn't manage to draw any of the romantic cutscenes of Shen Qingqiu. For Mobei-jun, I only finished his concept design at the time since he was going to be a late-game love interest.”
The cutscene he described sounded familiar, but Shen Yuan was too invested in the conversation to figure out why it sounded familiar.
SY: “So you just decided to abandon them?”
SQH: “I guess. But! But, but. And this is a huge but! I might make another visual novel, or I guess, a spin-off that’s purely about the boys. Including my darling Mobei-Jun. And, unlike Doki Doki Immortal Dating Way, the main character will be gender neutral. So the girls and the gays can play it!”
SY: “Then that means that lesbians are your only non-target audience?”
SQH: “What?! No! No no, okay, for the lesbians I’ll make ANOTHER spin-off or edition or whatever. Genderbent! Yes, that's the solution. Genderbent Binghe, genderbent Qingqiu and genderbent Mobei! Yeah! Oh but to make it fair, I should genderbend the girls into men. This is actually a fire idea!”
SY: “Woah, the hack of a game developer actually has a fire idea? How long will it last before you burn it like it’s a dumpster fire?”
Shen Yuan's tone sounded like he was unimpressed but he was actually quite invested. He would play all the spin-offs.
SQH: “Shut up!! I’m doing my best!!”
SY: “Your best is, frankly, quite unimpressive.”
SQH: “Stop bullying me Cucumber-bro, you’re making me horny.”
SY: “Ew die.”
SQH:“Your fault EL OH EL. Oh, how is my Bingboy doing? You need to send me a picture of him, I need to see him. I wonder if he's just as hot as I imagined him.”
SY: “Ughhh don’t remind me about him.”
SQH: “Oh? Did he do something to make you dislike him? Is Bingboy no longer your favourite character ever?! Nooooooo, my son. My stupid son. What did you do?! You lost your biggest defender.”
SY: “Dude, chill. He’s still a very good character and I will forever defend his character but he is overwhelming to be around. He stares a lot to a point I get self-conscious. It makes me want to hide behind something. His food is delicious though. It’s a godsend, I never knew food could taste like heaven.”
SQH: “Well, he inherited those cooking skills from his papa.”
There was a smug tone behind those words.
SY: “His papa who once almost burnt his kitchen down making some instant noodles?”
SQH: “Shut up!! I was tired that day!! Plus it’s not like you’re any better! You once almost burnt rice! How the hell do you manage to burn rice?!”
SY: “Hey, hey, I have a perfectly good excuse for that!”
SQH: “Uh-huh? Let’s hear it then, Cucumber-bro.”
SY: “It was my first time cooking rice and-”
SQH: “That is a terrible excuse.”
SY: “I wasn’t done yet!”
SQH: “Don’t need to hear it, you’re going to say that it was your first time cooking in general.”
SY: “…How the hell?”
SQH: “It’s the Joseph Joestar in me. My number one kinnie.”
Shen Yuan shook his head, unimpressed.
SY: “No way. You’re the furthest thing away from Joseph Joestar. You’re more like…Usopp from One Piece. Actually…no no. That’s an insult to Usopp.”
SQH: “Can't believe I'm going to be saying this, but die.”
SY: “Oh? I tried. Was quite pleasant. You should try it sometime and in my humblest of opinions, do not come back to life.”
SQH: “If I could use a kaomoji right now, I’d use a table flipping one. Imagine me flipping a table. And flipping you off too, for good measure.”
SY: “A ratty-looking stout hamster trying to flip a table…Paints quite the picture.”
SQH: “I’m no hamster!”
SY: “Yes you are.”
SQH: “No! No, hamsters are pathetic.”
SY: “Exactly.”
SQH: “No. No. I'm not pathetic. I mean I totally am but no. No.”
SY: “You know, you are the type of guy to die like a hamster.”
SQH: “No. Nah-uh. I deny it."
SY: “Uh-huh. You would die in a very dumb way like getting stuck in a microwave and then violently combusting. You know the game, dumb ways to die? That game was literally made for hamsters and thus for you.”
SQH: “Nooooooo. The worst part about this is that you’re right.”
Airplane whined despite stating that he denied it. Shen Yuan let out a snicker.
SQH: “When I was a child, I almost ate a bag of nails.”
Shen Yuan's eyes widened large. He sat up, back straightened, fully invested.
SY: “How?! Why?!”
SQH: “I thought they were candy, okay?!”
He relaxed with a chuckle.
SY: “Well, hey, thanks for proving my point.”
SQH: “You’re welcome.”
Airplane let out a childish and exaggerated sniffle. Then he dramatically blew his nose.
SY: “Gross.”
SQH: “You made me like this, Cucumber-bro, all teary-eyed and sad. Take responsibility.”
SY: “No. Stay sad.”
SQH: “You’re so mean.”
SY: “And you like it that way.”
SQH: “You know me so well.”
Airplane giggled. Shen Yuan rolled his eyes
-
There were loud snores coming from the other side of the call. It was a few minutes past 3am and Airplane had completely passed out from exhaustion.
“Talk to you later Airplane-bro,” Shen Yuan whispered, keeping his voice quiet to not wake him. Then he hung up. He put his phone away and stared at the ceiling. Their phone call had been the most fun Shen Yuan had in a while, but it completely burnt out all of Shen Yuan’s energy. He closed his eyes, ready to fall asleep.