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Chapter Text

Danny stepped out of meat-stained clothes and into the shower.  He didn’t like Sam’s ultra-recyclo vegetarian food, and Tucker’s all-meat diet (not literal) was a bit much even for him.  Taken together, he was feeling more than a bit nauseous by the time they’d gotten done cleaning up the school.  

(Strangely enough, Mr. Lancer hadn’t let Dash leave until they were done, either.  Sure, Dash wasn’t being punished - Mr. Lancer had said that very loudly, several times, just to rub it in - but Mr. Lancer had some ideas about the leadership responsibilities of students in sports.  He’d wanted Dash to stay to supervise, even after Danny had fished the hapless quarterback out of the pile of meat.)

With water flowing over him, he felt a bit more human.  He rinsed out his hair, slapped some shampoo on it, rinsed that out, phased through his towel several times while trying to grab it (turned out that epiphanies about the purpose of his powers didn’t fix all his problems with them), dried off, and put on clean pajamas.  

He walked over to his room, trying to get the last of the water out of his hair.  Then, just inside the door, he paused.  He wanted to just drop straight into bed and sleep for the four days that Tucker had claimed he passed out for.

But… he wasn’t sure he could calm down enough to sleep.  

He’d used his powers.  And, yes, he’d done that before, he’d even fought other ghosts before.  The weird ghost octopusses… octopi…?  Other blobby things that came out of the portal.  But this felt different.  

Yesterday, he had to fight the Lunch Lady ghost.  If he didn’t, who knew what she’d do to Sam?  But today… Today, he could have run.  It wasn’t like he was the only person there, and, in theory, his parents should have been able to fight the ghost.  Fighting ghosts was the only thing his dad talked about lately, and his mom wasn’t much better.  

But Danny had fought the lunch lady ghost.  And won.  

He inhaled deeply, then let all his breath out in an explosive sigh.  He’d done it.  He’d kept the ghost from hurting anyone else, and he’d caught her in the thermos.  

The thermos.  Where she still was.  

Danny closed his eyes.  He had to do something about that.  

Probably, his parents had figured out some way to… deal with ghosts they caught.  Hm.  Yeah.  That.  Didn’t actually sound like a good idea.  Or something Danny could use.  Like, odds were it'd involve the Fenton Stockades.  Well.  Maybe he could just.  Shoot her back out into the Ghost Zone?  And then close the portal doors behind her?  The ones that didn’t have a lock.  Yeah.  

Oh, Danny really wasn’t going to be able to calm down now.  

He turned around and walked out.  If he wanted to sleep tonight, he needed to figure out a way to get ghosts back into the Ghost Zone without his parents finding out.

Chapter Text

Danny, Sam, and Tucker walked out of the gym and onto the thin sidewalk in front of it.  Danny breathed in, deeply, tasting the cool air.  

“That wasn’t as bad as it could have been,” said Danny, hopefully.  “Like, no one died.”

“It was pretty bad though,” said Tucker.  “Also, your possession power, or whatever we’re calling it, is my least favorite.  Just.  Of everything.  Including Sam’s food.”

“And what was up with telling Paulina that the amulet was mine?” asked Sam.  “Like, that was pretty out of nowhere.”

“I was under a lot of pressure,” said Danny.  “But you - why did you put it on?  I had to fight you.”

“I didn’t, she just put it on me.  And what about giving it to her in the first place?  If we’re pointing fingers and all.”

Danny cringed.  “Okay.  Yeah.  That wasn’t my best move.”

Sam sighed.  “I don’t think any of us were at our best tonight, honestly.  ”

“Speak for yourselves,” said Tucker.  “My moves were as great as always.”

“Uh huh,” said Danny.  “And did you dance with anyone that wasn’t me or Sam tonight?”

“You guys were the only ones still here,” said Tucker, “unless you count Paulina and Dash.”

“What about the ghost?” asked Danny.  

They all exchanged looks, then burst out laughing.  “We all suck, don’t we?” asked Danny.  

“At least we’re all sucking together,” said Sam.

Before anyone could say more, the GAV pulled up to the curb.  

“Hop on in, Danno!” said Jack.  “We’re goin’ home!”

“Right!  One second!  Tucker, you have the thing?”

“Uh, yeah, I…”  He shoved his hands into his pockets.  Then into his other pockets.  Then he started to pat down his legs as if he were still wearing his cargo pants.  “No.  I don’t have it.”

“What do you mean, you don’t have it?” asked Sam.  “It’s not like you’re wearing a purse.”

“I don’t know,” said Tucker.  “Maybe I dropped it when I was dancing?”

Danny lowered his voice to a whisper, hoping that his parents wouldn’t be able to hear him.  “Tucker, did you dance with the ghost?”  He paused.  “Did you get pick pocketed by the ghost?”

Tucker’s shoulders slumped.  “Aw, man.”

Chapter Text

“I still can’t believe he gave me a C,” said Danny, scowling down at his paper. “A C. After I saved a whole species from extinction.”

“It’s a bit more complicated than that,” said Sam. “Even with semen saved from other purpleback gorillas, the gene pool is probably too small to really bring back the species by itself, but keeping it around for even another generation will give scientists and conservationists time to come up with a more lasting solution.”

“Ugh,” said Danny, “don’t talk to me about details.”

“Gee, Danny, do you think that might be the reason you only got a B?”

“It wasn’t even a very good C,” added Tucker. “You should just study more.”

Danny groaned and flopped dramatically forward on the lunch table. “I can’t believe I stayed up every night for a week for a C.”

“I have photographic evidence that says you didn’t stay up all night for a week for a C,” said Sam.  

“Dude,” said Tucker. “Not cool. You know what pictures like that could do to my dating life.”

“What dating life?”

“Ouch,” said Tucker.  

Danny peeled himself off the table. “I mean, it could be worse, I–”

“Hey, Fentina!” shouted Dash, because Dash seemed to have a single volume, and it was loud. He slammed a copy of Genius magazine down on the lunch table. “What’re you doing on the cover of a magazine for girls? Someone finally find out that you’re a sissy?”

“Aaand there it is,” said Danny.  

“So, Dash,” said Sam, falsely sweet. “Did your mom read that for you, or are there enough pictures in it for you to guess what it’s about?”

“Delilah is the one they’re focused on, anyway,” said Danny, rolling his eyes, “which you’d know if you actually read it.”

Dash’s face clouded. “Yeah? And who’s Delilah?”

“The literal four hundred pound gorilla on the cover?” said Sam.  

“Although, if you thought it was a picture of you, I guess I could understand that,” said Danny. “But it’s kind of insulting to Delilah.”

Dash’s face was turning funny colors.

“I mean,” said Danny, “she’s a purpleback gorilla, not a purple face gorilla.”

“You–”

“Mr. Baxter! There you are,” said Mr. Lancer, moving through the cafeteria like he was wading through water. “You have a test to make up. Come along, now.”

“What? But this is my prime loser punching time! I’ve got to keep my arm in for the big game!”

Lancer gave Dash an extremely tired look, and readjusted the papers in his arms. Some of them fell on the table, and Danny quickly picked them up. “Thank you, Mr. Fenton. Mr. Baxter, your retake will have to come first, before any… extracurriculars.” He led Dash off, still protesting.  

“Well,” said Danny, sliding the magazine off the table and into his bag. “Can’t have enough of these. Gotta commemorate the ten minutes when my parents were actually proud of me somehow.”

“That’s dark,” said Tucker.  

“But true!” Danny smiled, and even if the smile was tired, it was genuine. “Even Jazz is happy about it, and, well… Right after we caught Skulker, I thought I was still going to get a D, and I was fine with it. It’s just a little disappointing, after all that… But it’s a better grade than I thought it would be then.”

“That’s surprisingly philosophical of you, Danny,” said Sam.  

Danny’s grin widened. “It is a little easier, after seeing Dash’s grade. Lancer was carrying his test.”

“No way,” said Tucker, leaning forward. “What did he get?”

“Absolutely zero.”

“Sometimes,” said Sam, “I do wonder if he can read.”

Chapter Text

“Strike!” said Danny, jumping excitedly. “Come on, say it, who’s the man?”

“Me,” said Tucker, passing him. As soon as the machine put the pins down, he rolled his bowling ball and scored a strike. Another one. Tucker whirled and struck a pose, framing his chin with his pointer finger and thumb. “I’m the man.”

“How are you so good at this already?” asked Danny.  

“My games give me a lot of hand-eye coordination practice,” said Tucker.  

“Grandma’s been giving him tips,” said Sam, but she was staring at Danny’s legs.  

Danny looked down. “Is… there something on my pants?”

“No, it’s not that. Can you jump again?”

“Uh,” said Danny, “sure?” he jumped.  

“Huh,” said Sam, leaning on the arm of the chair. “I think your hang time is messed up.”

“Is it?” asked Danny. He jumped again. “I don’t think it is.”

“Just a little bit,” said Sam. “You fall kind of slowly.”

“Wait, wait,” said Danny. “We can actually test this. We can get, like, a feather and a hammer, and I’ll jump off a table, and Sam, you’ve got that video camera, right? I’ll get the feather– No, wait, wait, that only worked because there’s hardly any air on the moon.”

“What are you talking about?” asked Tucker.  

“Testing if I obey the law of gravity!”

“We… have to test that?” asked Tucker. “You fly, don’t you?”

“He means when he’s not using his powers,” said Sam. “Can’t you just use, like, literally anything for that test, as long as it isn’t big enough for air resistance to matter? Didn’t Galileo do it with balls or something?”

“Yeah, but the hammer and feather are iconic, classic!”

“Hehe,” said Tucker, “you said balls.”

Sam rolled her eyes. “And there we go, making Galileo roll over in his grave.”

“Why not?” asked Danny. “Tesla’s already out of his. What’s one more famous scientist mad at me?”

“Was he Tesla?” asked Sam, picking up a drink coaster from the table and holding it out to Danny. “Here, use this. We can be iconic later.”

“Excuse you, we’re always iconic,” said Tucker.

“I think you and Sam might have different definitions of that word,” said Danny as he climbed up onto the table and balanced the coaster on the edge. “Okay, so, if the coaster and I hit the ground at the same time, I'm normal–”

“For certain values of the word,” agreed Sam.  

“And if the coaster hits first, I'm doing something gravitationally weird.”

“What if you hit first?” asked Tucker.

“I've screwed up the experiment somehow,” said Danny. “Or something really weird is going on, and we'll have to adjust our methodology.”

“And you wonder why you're not popular,” said Sam.

Danny paused, offended. “Hey! There's nothing wrong with good experimental design!”

“Don’t you have to, like, record stuff for it to really be an experiment?”

“Yeah, that's why Sam will use her camera, right Sam?”

Sam made a face. “Are you sure you want any of your ghost stuff on tape?”

“I,” said Danny. “Well. No.” He paused. “Okay, we'll do this experiment without recording.”

“But,” said Tucker.

“Look, just watch, okay? I'll feel stupid if I climbed up on a table for nothing.”

“We’re watching,” said Sam.  

Danny nodded, kicked the coaster off the table, and jumped.

Chapter Text

“Do you think it was bullying, what I did to Dash?” asked Danny.  

Oh, jeez, this was what Danny had been moping about all day?  Sam felt her face pinch inward against her will.  She put her sandwich down.  

“You do,” said Danny, in tones of faint horror.  

“No, I don’t,” said Sam.  “I mean, the only times you ever did anything to him was after he'd physically assaulted you, right?”

This time, Danny’s face pinched in.  “I don’t know that I’d call it that.  That makes it sound like, I don’t know, like it’s serious.”

“Isn’t it serious?” asked Sam.  

Danny shrugged.  “Not as serious as what those ghosts in the mirror were doing to Poindexter,” he mumbled.  Which he only knew because he’d been Poindexter for several hours.  

Yeah, not great.  But also…

“I don’t think that what you’ve done to Dash is great.  Overshadowing is kind of…”  She trailed off and looked at Tucker.  

“It kind of sucks when it’s done to you,” supplied Tucker.  

“I know that!” said Danny.  “I mean, I just spent most of today stuck in Poindexter’s mirror while he strolled around in my body.  I get it.  Sorry.”  He directed the last to Tucker.  

“But it isn’t like you did anything else to him that he didn’t do to you first.  So, I wouldn’t exactly call it bullying.  Not great, but not bullying.  Mutual antagonism, maybe?”

“But you don’t think I should do it,” said Danny.  

Sam shrugged, uncomfortable.  

“I think it's fine,” said Tucker.  “What?” He ducked away from Sam's glare, like he thought she'd throw something at him.  

“I think that we should try to be better than Dash.”

“That's easy to say when you've never been shoved in a locker,” said Tucker. “And aren't you the one who hulked out because you were mad at Paulina?”

“That was an isolated incident,” said Sam.  “There was a magic amulet.”

“That's what they all say.”

“Pretty sure that no one has ever said that in the history of forever, actually,” said Danny, grinning.  But the grin quickly fell off his face and his expression returned to something contemplative and brooding.  He sighed.  “I just don’t know what to do about Dash.  I’m sick and tired of him pushing me around all the time.”

“I don’t think there’s really anything you can do,” said Sam.  This was why she hadn’t wanted to say anything.  She hated it when she couldn’t just seize a solution.  Like with the frogs.  It was easy to know what to do with the frogs, easy to know how to save them, what to do to convince other people.  Maybe other people didn’t listen, but that was on them, not her.  With Dash, though…

“But I have ghost powers,” said Danny.  “I should be able to do something.”

“You could reveal that you have ghost powers and threaten to use them on Dash,” said Tucker.  “But then, you’d’ve, you know, revealed that you have ghost powers.  And there’s no way Dash could keep something like that quiet.  Everyone would know.  Including your parents.”

Danny groaned and let his head hit the lunch table.  “Why is my life like this?  Why can’t the teachers do their jobs?”

“Probably because they’re underpaid,” said Sam.  

“And a quarter of them left after the meat monster thing.”

“Yeah.  That’s probably it.”  Danny sat up and started picking at his food again.  “Just another consequence of me screwing up.”

“It wasn’t, really,” said Sam, slowly, painfully, because she didn’t like admitting when she was wrong, either.  “That was more me, actually.”

“I mean,” said Danny, and then, he stopped.  

“Getting overshadowed wasn’t your fault either,” she added, although she wasn’t sure what had prompted her to do so.  “Even if you were bullying Dash.”

Danny made a face at her.  “I didn’t say it was.”

Despite that, Danny looked more than a little… relieved.  

Chapter Text

Kelly staggered out of the cab and up to his apartment.  His car had been left somewhere downtown, because, obviously, he wasn’t sober enough to be driving.  He fumbled his keys once, twice, a third time, and finally unlocked his front door.  

Not bothering to turn on the light, he continued through the tiny entryway and collapsed on his bed. 

“I shouldn’t have taken all that acid in college.  Mom was right.  It permanently screwed my brain.”

He rolled over on the bed and groped blindly for his remote control.  He found it without too much trouble and rolled back over to turn the TV on.  He blinked away spots in his eyes as he adjusted to the sudden brightness.  

What channel was it even on?  The news?  Ugh.  He hated the news.  Man.  

He started to change the channel, but something about the picture on the screen caught his attention and he pushed himself up on his elbows.  That was downtown, wasn’t it?  That big traffic jam he’d gotten stuck in, and over it, what was that in the air?  He didn’t remember seeing–

Oh, god.  That was him.  That was his car.  His stupid cheap car that smelled like weed and other drugs.  In the air.  Flying.  

Ohhh, god, he was still having a bad trip.  Either that, or the news was having a bad trip, and Kelly didn’t think he could handle a world where the local news dropped acid.  How would that even work, anyway?  It was a TV station.  Or a program on a TV station.  

Kelly didn’t know how TV programming worked.  He’d never needed to.  

He turned off the TV, threw the remote to one side, and laid down, staring at the ceiling.  Maybe he should think about rehab.  His mom was always telling him things about rehab.  

Chapter Text

Only once the GAV had left the forest surrounding Vlad’s massive stupid castle did Danny let himself feel all the emotions he’d been sitting on since Skulker had ambushed him and Vlad had walked out of the shadows to mock him.  

Okay, that was a bit misleading.  It wasn’t as if Danny had been repressing everything.  He hadn’t been sitting stoically in the back of the GAV, stone-faced like some kind of robot.  He’d been feeling stuff.  Lots of stuff, even.  

It was just, until they got out of the woods, he wasn’t sure he’d really gotten away with threatening Vlad like that.  He still wasn’t sure he’d gotten away with it.  It was just that he didn’t think Vlad would start chasing them now.  

He might still come after Danny later.  He’d probably come after Danny later, considering that he was vindictive enough to kill Danny’s Dad over a twenty-year-old grudge.  Just.  Not now.  Not yet.  Danny could breathe.  

In theory.  In fact, his body had decided to have a very hard time breathing.  He looked away from Jazz, sitting next to him and covered his mouth with his hand so no one would notice.  After all, as far as they knew, there was no reason for Danny to panic.  Danny wasn’t even sure why he was panicking now.  

But he was.  

It was just–  Vlad was like him.  He had ghost powers.  He was– Vlad had used the word hybrid.  Which.  Danny wasn’t entirely sure what that meant, but in context–  

But Vlad was also… like that.  He was like all the worst things Danny’s parents said about ghosts, but wrapped up in a human skin.  

If the Dairy King hadn’t rescued Danny from that box–  He cut off the thought.  He had.  Danny didn’t entirely understand why, but he had.  

And then Danny had blackmailed Vlad.  Which had only worked because Vlad wanted to date his mom.  Gross.  Incredibly gross.  

But Vlad was so much more powerful than him - that duplication trick alone put him on a level that Danny couldn’t readily deal with.  Not to mention the tech he had, and Skulker.  Danny had gotten better at using his powers since he’d fought Skulker before, but apparently not enough.  Skulker had beaten him pretty fast today.  

He leaned his forehead against the glass window and squeezed his eyes shut.  

He didn’t know what he was going to do.  

Chapter Text

Danny inhaled the (mostly) fresh countryside air, then exhaled all at once.  It had been a misunderstanding. 

He didn’t regret going to get the present, even with everything that happened with Walker and his creepy prison.  There might not have been a, well, a new divorce, but he still hated the way his parents had been fighting.  

Once a year was bad enough.  He didn’t need The Fight to happen in both December and May.  

The porch swing he was lying on swayed as Aunt Alicia walked up to it.  “Whatcha thinking, Danny?”

“I’m glad they’re not fighting anymore,” said Danny.  

“Yeah?” said Alicia. She chewed on the straw in her mouth.  “You were worried, huh?”

Danny shrugged.  “Maybe.”

“Hmph,” said Alicia.  She leaned on the swing, pushing it up.  “Maddie and her id– Your folks, they ain’t like me and that bastard ex o’ mine.”  She jerked her head over to where her ex-husband was gamely clambering back up onto the seat of the dunk tank.  

“I’ve never really got why he comes to these things,” said Danny.  

“Because the man don’t have the sense God gave a tomcat.”

“Oh,” said Danny, even though that didn’t really clear anything up.  He was happy enough to be here, and not in ghost jail.  

“They’re not gonna get divorced, is what I’m sayin’.  Even if they fight.”

Danny chewed his lip, watching Aunt Alicia’s ex get dumped in the water again.  

“Thanks,” he said, finally.  Then, “Where are they anyway?”

“Still chasing that little blue man around,” said Alicia.  “And I don’t want to know what that’s about.  I already know too much about ghosts and creepy crawlies for someone who lives in the middle of goddamn nowhere.”

“Spitoon isn’t nowhere,” protested Danny, somehow feeling as though it’d be rude to agree.  

“Kiddo, you had to parachute in.”

“Okay, well, that’s–”

“And I don’t wanna know how you managed to get on a plane without either of your parents knowin’ ‘bout it.”

“Ah,” said Danny, who was pretty sure his parents hadn’t and wouldn’t stop long enough to think about that.  “Noted.”

Aunt Alicia reached down to ruffle his hair.  “Good.  Now, c’mon, you haven’t dunked the ex yet.”

Danny smiled and sat up.  “I guess I haven’t.”

Chapter Text

“I suppose that’s the problem with things that are too good to be true,” said Principal Ishiyama, staring at the cup of tea between her hands as if it was something much stronger, “they are.”

“Yes,” said William Lancer, delicately, putting the teapot to the side, “well.”  He sat down across from her, the tiny table in the staff room barely accommodating the both of them. 

“She had good references, though,” said Principal Ishiyama.  “She had recommendations.  She had plans, already written up, she’d read through all our IEPs, everything.  She was doing the work!”

“I know,” said William.  “I thought the same.  I was…”  Honestly he had probably been too enthusiastic, but he’d thought that the school needed something uplifting after, well, everything.  For that matter, he’d needed something to raise his spirits.  He was the vice-principal, and it had been a while since he was a classroom teacher.  He still had all of his certifications, of course.  He still knew how to teach a class.  But… it had been a while.  

And when he had been an ordinary classroom teacher, he hadn’t had to deal with administrative work at the same time.  

“But I should have known,” said Principal Ishiyama.  “I should have known.”  She emphasized her words with clicks from the teacup. 

William didn't say anything.  He couldn't say anything.  There was nothing he could say.  

“We can't afford to hire anyone else, William.”

“What?  But after everyone who quit– I thought the problem was finding applicants, not financial.”

“It's both.  We still haven't finished repairs from that meat… thing.  Now there's a giant burn mark on the side of the gym we have to take care of, too.  Anyone we could hire wants more than we can give, and with Spectra walking off with the advance we gave her…  She was supposed to cover the gaps we have, get students back on track.  Crystal's been tearing her hair out trying to make the numbers line up.”

“Oh,” said William.  “I hadn't realized.”

“We don't have enough teachers,” continued Principal Ishiyama.  “William, I know you've been covering, especially with the freshman, but…”

“You need me to be a classroom teacher again.”

Ishiyama nodded.  “If you can take over the Language Arts department again, and Tetslaff does health, that will free up Falluca to focus on science, and I've asked the middle school if they can lend us Ms. Rivers.  It will be temporary.  Until the district can put together the money to hire new staff.”

“Well,” said William, putting a smile on his face, “going back to my roots won't be so bad.”

Chapter Text

Before opening the package, Valerie shut her door and wedged a chair under the handle.  She didn’t want her dad walking in on her accidentally, and the doors here didn’t have locks, except for the one into the apartment itself.  Yet another reason she hated it here.  

Only then did she pull up the edges of the brown, papery packing tape.  It made a satisfying sound as she pulled it free, tearing at the packing label and letting the flaps of the box swing freely.  

Just like with the last box from ‘Vlad,’ the cardboard box hid a much more high-tech metallic black box with a fancy lock that scanned her face before clicking open.  Valerie licked her lips before opening it.

There was a note sitting on top of the equipment.  I heard some of your tech was damaged, said the note.  Please take these in addition to the ammunition recharge and a few… new items.  

She put the note to the side.  Within, there were indeed refills for her blasters, and replacement parts for the things the ghost boy had wrecked.  

But there were also several small items Valerie didn’t recognize.  They included little cards that explained how they were supposed to be used.  Smoke bombs, taser caltrops, a stabilizer for her hoverboard that would let her pull way more wild stunts, and… a key?

Valerie read the attached note.  It gave an address that wasn’t too far from where she was now.  She frowned and looked toward the door, then the window.  Her dad shouldn’t be looking for her, he wouldn’t even be home for a while.  

A few minutes later, she was wearing her suit and riding her hoverboard, high above the streets.  She scanned them, looking for the one mentioned on the note, then dove, coming to a stop in front of an old, slightly run-down-looking warehouse.  

She didn’t like the way it looked.  

(She didn’t like the way anything in Elmerton looked.)

The key slid easily into the lock, and there was no creak when she pushed the door in.  When she stepped past the threshold, the lights inside turned on.  And the inside was much different from the outside.  

She closed the door behind her carefully, and walked forward, hoverboard tucked under her arm.  There were steel lab tables, cubes with thick walls of either plastic or glass, and absolutely wicked blasters.  

There was also a kind of standing ring with four evenly spaced complicated-looking tubular clamps around its inner edge.  There was an envelope taped to it, and she pulled it down.  It had her name on it.  She slid her thumb under the flap and took out the letter inside.  

He won’t be able to evade you forever.  You’ll find this place useful when his luck finally runs out.  

Valerie nodded, either to ‘Vlad’ or to herself, she didn’t know, and started reading about how her new toys worked.  

Chapter Text

“Actually,” said Danny, “with the Fenton Fones in, it doesn't sound so bad.”

“See?” said Tucker, pointing at Danny.  “He gets it.”

Sam scowled.  “It's sugar pop dressed up as punk rock.”

“Is it?” asked Danny frowning thoughtfully.  “I don't think that sounds quite right.”

“It's more glam,” agreed Tucker, nodding sagely. 

“No, it isn't,” said Sam, angrily, then she stopped, belatedly realizing something.  “Wait, you like it now, but you didn't before?”

“I didn't hate it before.  It just sounds better through the phones. I think I might have been picking up on the ghost noise, and that was bothering my ears or something.”

“Really?”

“Or maybe I like the kind of crunchy electronic sound.”  Danny shrugged.  “It reminds me of synthwave like this.”

“Yesss,” said Tucker, raising a hand.  “Synthwave bros forever.”

Danny high-fived him.  

“Ugh,” said Sam.  

“Hey,” said Danny, we’re allowed to have our own tastes.  “I don’t know how you listen to screamo.  That’s no good.”

“It’s the anger,” said Sam.  “The rage!  Haven’t you ever just wanted to scream as loud as you can?”

“Every time my parents start talking about ghosts, sure,” said Danny.  “But that doesn’t mean I want to hear it in music.”

“But you’ll listen to Ember?  The brainwashing ghost who tried to kill us?”

“I didn’t say that,” said Danny.  He turned the CD player off and put it to the side.  “I just said that it didn’t sound bad.  And I was only listening to it because Tucker said he wouldn’t help us with our homework unless we gave it a chance.  I’ve got to take advantage of that Cramtastic 5 super-studying while it lasts.”

They turned to Tucker, expectant.  

“More like Craptastic 5,” said Tucker, rolling his eyes.  “I almost preferred being brainwashed over that stupid helmet.  You know, you guys can just put them on yourselves, if you want it that badly.”

“Come on, Tuck, you know I have special medical circumstances.  And we did listen to the CD.”

Tucker sighed.  “Fine.  Let’s start with the study guide.”

Chapter Text

“So,” said Sam, stealing one of Danny’s fries from his tray.

“So,” replied Danny, stealing some of Sam’s fries from her tray.

“Out of curiosity, how did studying with Mr. Lancer compare to studying with Tucker?”

“Well,” said Danny, thinking, “I actually have a passing grade, now, so…”

“Hey!” said Tucker.  No one wanted his fries because he’d covered them with Nasty Burger Natty’s Nastiest Nougat, which was probably classed as some kind of chemical weapon by the UN.  “I told you that you should just use the Craptastic.”

“I’m not using anything called the Craptastic unless it’s a laxative,” said Danny.  He dipped one of his fries into his cup of Nova Nasty Sauce (which was a much more reasonable condiment) and popped it in his mouth.  “And maybe not even then, to be honest.  Forget putting it on my head.”  

“I think you might’ve done better the first time around if you weren’t, you know, playing Doomed all night,” said Sam, stealing even more french fries from Danny.  

“You can’t pretend to not care about Doomed any more,” said Danny, making a move towards her shake, only to have it snatched away.  He made a sad noise.  

“If you wanted to have a soy chocolate shake, you should have gotten one instead of that crime against humanity.”

“There’s nothing wrong with my shake.”  It was a perfectly normal flavor.  Chocolate and jalapeno.  The Mayans had used that flavor, he was pretty sure.  That meant it was a classic.  

“Yes there is,” said Tucker.  “I’m pretty sure that the UN has it classed as some kind of chemical weapon.”

Danny rolled his eyes and took a sip through his straw.  Delicious.  Just like advertised.  Or not advertised.  It was on the secret menu.  The one that always made Irving glare at him when he ordered from it.  

“But ignoring your crimes against humanity,” said Sam, waving her hand, “everything with Mr. Lancer was… okay?”

“Yeah, it was fine.  It sucked having to stay late and study, but it was fine.”

“Really?” asked Tucker.  “I can’t even imagine staying that late with just a teacher for company.  I think my brain would melt.  More than you guys melted it with the Craptastic, anyway.”

“It wasn’t that bad,” said Danny.  “It was normal.  Just studying.”

“That’s good, I guess,” said Sam, “even if it was a drag.”

Contemplative, Danny ate another french fry.  “I think Mr. Lancer showed me a picture of him in drag.”

Chapter Text

Jazz stood in the bathroom, breathing heavily, trying not to vomit in the sink.  It wasn’t the ectoplasm purgatives her parents had given her earlier that was making her sick.  It wasn’t only the ectoplasm purgatives making her sick, anyway.  She could still barely believe she’d let them dose her.  None of that stuff was FDA approved!

No.  She was having a reaction, delayed but acute, to what had almost happened to her.  

Thank God for Danny.  Thank god for her dad.  She obviously hadn’t been in her right mind for… how long had it been?  It had felt like only a few days, but what if it was longer?  What had that ghost been doing to her, what had it made her do in that time, while she was trying to slip between Jazz’s ribs like a knife and live there?

And she’d just brushed Danny off, too.  Like he really was just a brat and not trying to warn her about the ghost who was literally using her to replace his girlfriend.  

She splashed water on her face, hoping it would help her think, or at least refresh her enough that she wouldn’t throw up.  

She could have died today.  The feeling was shaking through her bones.  She could have disappeared.  

The only one who would know anything about the truth about what had actually happened, would be Danny, and he wouldn’t tell anyone anything, even if it had almost killed him on more than one occasion.  Had maybe actually killed him.  

Jazz was assuming her brother was still alive, that he’d just gotten… abilities.  Somehow.  But if she was to apply Occam’s Razor, the easiest explanation for Danny and Phantom and Danny being Phantom was that Danny was dead.  

She swallowed, bile rising in her throat again.  

She could have died.  

But she didn’t.  She was here, alive, breathing, sick in the bathroom.  

She was alive.  

Chapter Text

“Well!  That was stupid,” said Sam.  

“I hate rhymes,” said Danny.  “I’ve decided.”

“You hate rhymes,” repeated Sam.  “There isn’t anything or anyone you hate more right now?  Are you sure?”

“If I think about it too hard, I’ll throw up, so, yeah.  All my hate is on rhymes.”

“I don’t know what you're so upset about,” said Tucker.  “You eat worse stuff all the time.”

Both Danny and Sam stopped dead on the sidewalk.  It took Tucker a second to notice and slow down.

“Listen,” said Sam, “I know you don’t like my food, but nothing I've given either of you is worse than Dash's underwear.”

“Agree to disagree, Sam, but I was talking about Danny's milkshakes.”

“Oh my gosh, can you leave off my milkshakes?  They're normal.”

“Are they, though?” asked Sam, making a face. 

Danny stared at her.  “Are you saying you think they’re worse than Dash’s literal underwear?”

“Yeah, no.  The underwear is definitely worse.  I still can’t believe you actually ate them.”  She paused, leaning back suspiciously so she could squint down her nose at him.  “Did you actually eat them?”

“Well,” said Danny, rocking back on his heels, “no.”

“I knew it,” said Tucker.  “Even someone with your tastebuds would have to object to something like that.”

“I don’t want to hear that from someone who’s eaten raw meat in front of me.”

“Excuse you, steak tartare is a classic carnivore delight.  And it’s better than being the guy who ate raw underwear in front of the whole school.”

“Faked eating raw underwear,” said Sam.  “What did you do with it, anyway?”

Danny shrugged.  “I phased it through me and into the bench.”

“Huh,” said Tucker.  “That’s it?”

“I mean, it worked?” said Danny.  “I didn’t have time to come up with anything complicated.”

“Do you think that the bits will stay in there forever, or fall out at some point?” asked Tucker.  

“I have no idea.”